Hilarious Terrorist Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Terrorist Jokes

Whats the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage? I don't know I just fly the drone.

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What do you call a terrorist's girlfriend? A Guantanamo Bae

Thought of this one earlier and just had to share

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What's the difference between Muslim and a terrorist? I don't know, I just sign executive orders.

I'll be here all week.

Score: 394

How did Isis move from 5th wanted terrorist group to the most wanted terrorist group? They cut a head

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Once i did the "is your dad a terrorist?, because you are a bomb.." line to a muslim girl. Totally blew up in my face

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What's the difference between a terrorist cell and a children's hospital? ... Don't ask me man, I just fly the drones.

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What Did the Muslim Terrorist Say? Who you gota blow to get some virgins around here?

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How many terrorist jokes are out there ? You will have to C-4 yourself.

Score: 69

A terrorist walks into a store "How much for this bomb?" he asks
"$500", said the clerk
"Will you take $450?" asks the terrorist
"I'm sorry sir," replies the clerk, "We don't negotiate with terrorists."

Score: 66

What is the difference between a woman on her period and a terrorist? You can negotiate with terrorists

Score: 60

TIFU by telling a terrorist joke to my Muslim girlfriend. She blew up in my face.

Score: 53

Why do terrorist use Nokia phones? so they can reuse the phone after the explosion

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What's the difference between a lead guitarist and a terrorist? You can actually negotiate with a terrorist.

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What's the difference between a terrorist and a civilian? I don't know man, I just fly the drones.

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The difference between an angry woman and a terrorist is that sometimes you can negotiate with the terrorist.

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What's the difference between a terrorist and a five year old? I don't know, I just pilot the drone

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How do you tell the difference between a terrorist and a tenured professor? You can negotiate with a terrorist.

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A terrorist had two cases at home... he stuffed one of them with explosives and headed to the metro. Once inside a wagon he waited until the doors were closed and shouted "Infidels!! now you will die!". Fortunately, that was not the case.

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A plane gets hijacked by a couple of terrorists The head terrorist is in the cockpit with the pilot. He demands that the pilot takes them to a free country or else the entire plane will blow up.

The pilot retorts: " This is an airliner, not a spaceship!"

Score: 32

Dark humor is like a terrorist attack... the timing needs to be just right.

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What do you call a terrorist with eight legs? An Iraqnid.

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What does a Terrorist Photographer do? Photobomb

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What do you call a monkey terrorist? A Baboom!

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What’s the difference between a terrorist and a woman with PMS? You can negotiate with a terrorist.

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What is the difference between a terrorist training camp and a Pakistani elementary school? I don't know, I just fly the drones.

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So, now that antifa has been declared a terrorist organization... ...when will the U.S. government start arming them?

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What's the difference between a muslim wedding and a terrorist training camp? I don't know either, I'm just the drone pilot.

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In Pakistan, what's the difference between an elementary school and a terrorist training camp? I don't know, I just fly the drone.

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What’s the difference between a baptist and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.

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What do you get when you cross a terrorist and a Hawaiian food truck? Aloha snack bar!

I'm sorry

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I was arrested on my way to school today on suspicion of being a terrorist Turns out I bombed the test

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What does a terrorist say when his post reaches the front page ? Wow, this blew up

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There is a new terrorist religion that hates addition The Tally Ban

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A terrorist tells the suicide bomber they shouldn't attack the Statue of Liberty, because she's "too easy" ... The bomber shrugs and replies "Eh, I'd still bang"

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What's the difference between a terrorist and a woman? You can negotiate with a terrorist

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.

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How did the Jewish terrorist die? Hebrew up.

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What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an elementary school? Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.

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What does a fat terrorist say? Aloha snack bar.

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New Terrorist Jokes

How do you respond to a terrorist that threatens to blow you up? Ok boomer

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What do you call a terrorist born during WWII? A boomer.

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What do you call the fastes terrorist Hussein Bolt

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Theres a new Islamic terrorist organization in Nigeria and they have also been caught poaching gorillas They call themselves "Boko Harambe"

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What is it called when a terrorist tells a joke? Boomer humor.

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What do you call a terrorist group full of snowmen? ICES

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What did one terrorist say to another terrorist on his birthday? I hope you have a blast today

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What’s the difference between the milita and a terrorist group? Well both have bombs but one of them... I guess we’ll never know.

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What do you call a terrorist with a bad internet connection? Osama Been Lagging

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A Terrorist Tries Stand Up Comedy for the First Time... Let's just say he was the bomb.

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A buzzfeed writer and a terrorist walked into a bar What happened next will blow your mind!

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Did you hear about the libertarian terrorist plot to take over the government... ...and leave everyone alone?

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What’s the difference between a terrorist outpost and an islamic elementary school? I don’t know. I just fly the drone.

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I told a woman I saw today that I liked her terrorist costume People sure don't know how to take a compliment!

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What is a terrorist's favorite thing do while high? Hijacking

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Why can’t penguins fly? They’re on the Terrorist Watch List.

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The Casio F-91W is popular among terrorists. It's on the terrorist watch list.

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What do you call a terrorist with tourettes? A ticking time bomb.

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What is the point in becoming an ISIS terrorist on the off chance you will get 72 Virgins when you die? Just become a Catholic priest and have them now.

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What is the difference between a tourist and a terrorist? One comes back home.

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What terrorist group hates modern broadcast systems? The Teleban

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Why was the terrorist commander mad at his subordinate? Apparently, you're not supposed to practice suicide bombing!

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How does a terrorist know what type of bomb he's using? Well, he can C4 himself.

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What do you call a plant that organised a terrorist attack? A bush.

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What's the difference between a hospital and a terrorist hideout? I dunno man, I just fly the drones

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A terrorist blows himself up at a Star Trek convention. It's a bit awkward five minutes later when he's meeting his 72 virgins.

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So Germany is going to fine companies that fail to remove hate speech and terrorist related content... Maybe instead of companies like YouTube manually checking videos, they should just Autobahn.

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What did the terrorist say to his wife? Blow me

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Why have there been so much terrorist attacks lately? Because terrorism is booming.

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What is a terrorist's favorite sports car? Porsche 9/11

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To be fair Theresa May warned of a coalition of chaos propped up by extremist terrorist sympathisers She just didn't say she'd be leading it

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Did you hear about the terrorist attack on the dairy / cow farm? It was an udder disaster.

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What do Terrorist's call their Sorbets? Italian ISIS.

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What's the difference between a Yemeni marriage and a terrorist hideout? I don't know, I just bomb where they tell me.

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What does a hawaiian terrorist say? Aloha Akbar

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A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He failed. He burnt his mouth on the exhaust pipe.

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What do you call a terrorist with a scoop of vanilla ice cream? Allah mode.

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What does a terrorist say when about to kill Kim Kardashian's Husband? Death to the West!

(Sorry if this is a repost, if so I'll remove it)

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What is the difference between a woman and a terrorist? you can negotiate with a terrorist

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What's the difference between a terrorist attack and a killing spree? Religion

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A reporter asked an army sniper what he felt when shooting a Taliban terrorist He shrugged and replied, "Recoil"

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What's a terrorist's favorite state? Allah-bama

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What happens when a terrorist breaks the rules of a subreddit? They get Talibanned

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Did you hear about the Jewish terrorist? He was going to hijack a plane but didn't want to use his miles

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a Terrorist? I don't know, I just work as airport security.

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Why did the terrorist fail his driver's test? He couldn't tell the difference between a parking space and a crowded street.

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Why was the Terrorist always late for work? All of his clocks counted backwards.

Why did all of his clocks count backwards?

Because that's how he learned to count!

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BuzzFeed's "Ten ways to tell if someone is a terrorist" #6 will blow your mind!

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What is a terrorist's dream car? 911

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What's the difference between a Syrian chapel and a Turkish terrorist camp? America will let in people from the terrorist camp.

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How do drug dealers get punished by Islamic-Extremist Terrorist in the Middle East? They get stoned.

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Why did the terrorist return the regular olive oil? He wanted extra virgin.

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Wanna hear a terrorist joke? Israeli good..

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What's the difference between a terrorist and a feminist? The terrorist needs a trigger to blow things up.

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What do you call a lonely terrorist? ISIL-ated

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What did the Iranian men do when they saw a terrorist? Tehran.

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Whats the differance between a terrorist and a yiddish mama? You can negotiate with terrorists

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What did the terrorist say when his post got 2000 upvotes? "Edit: This really blew up!"

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Why do terrorist only drink insta-coffee? because they hate french press.

(I hope this isn't too soon.)

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Did you hear about the terrorist on the talent show!? apparently he blew the judges away!

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