Graduation Jokes

My wife saw her ex high school boyfriend, drunk in the street. She said he started drinking when she broke up with him after graduation decades ago. I said.... ....Impressive. .. I've never seen anyone celebrate that long before.

Score: 131

My 10 year high school reunion was this weekend... I ran into these twin brothers I hadn’t seen since graduation, and I thought to myself..

“Well, you two still look the same.”

Score: 83

I was surprised when a friend said he'll work at KFC right after graduation.. Out of curiosity, I asked him why.


All he said was, "It's in my bucket list."

Score: 14

My college graduation was held inside the basketball arena and man was it hot Musta been like 5,000 degrees in there

Score: 13
Funny Graduation Jokes
Score: 11

You guys! I'm so excited, I just hooked up with my crush from middle school. ...but now she keeps calling me expecting me to show up at her graduation.

Score: 9

I finally just slept with my high school crush. Now she expects me to go to her graduation.

Score: 7

What did the clothes designer say to her son at his graduation? "I'm Prada you son."

Score: 5

Graduation unlike before 2 Asian kids graduated from High School. The school had never witnessed this phenomena, but both of them were #1 in their class. Long story short the parents couldn't be was a Nguyen, Nguyen for them.

Score: 4

When I finished high school I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18, and I could just have his motorcycle.

Score: 4

LinkedIn is the worst dating app All people want to talk about is work and what I plan on doing after graduation

Score: 4

I ordered a graduation cake for my son. The baker asked me what I wanted it to say. Wow, talking cakes, who knew?

Score: 4

The ice breaker I used for my graduation speech today What do you call the speed of an herbal beverage at any given time?

A. Veloci-tea

Score: 3

I got hit by a car on my way to my graduation. The worst part is, I had the right of passage

Score: 3

When my future children ask me about my highschool graduation... And how I answer:

“The graduation was great! But the reception was terrible.”

Score: 3

I finally slept with my high school crush Now he expects me to go to his graduation -- like I know where I'm going to be in three years.

Score: 2

After 72 years since not completing her college course, my Grandma finally went back and earned her very first diploma... ...I asked her what will she be wearing for her graduation ceremony and she said depends.

Score: 2

My wife, Sarah, the teacher Told me that her first grade was having a ceremony at the end of the year for graduation.

I told her great! Hopefully we can have a Sarah-moanie later tonight!

Obligatory dad joke.

Score: 1

While watching graduation, I like to think all my students have the same potential. However, when shaking their hands afterwards, I really felt that wasn't true. It was quite shocking!

Score: 1

I will never forget my daughter's words to me at her graduation. "Wow dad.. After 18 years you decide to come back..."

Score: 1

When I finished high school... I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said “no”.

You see, my mom had a brother who died in a motorcycle crash when he was 18 so she said I could just have his motorcycle.

Score: 1

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