Frog Jokes

Contents

Funniest Frog Jokes

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common? They share the same middle name.

Score: 7002

A little girl asks her grandad... "Would you make a frog noise for me?"
The grandad, confused asks, "why?"
The little girl replies, "dad says when you croak we are all going to disneyland".

Score: 1691

If you have have a small green ball in one hand and another small green ball in the other, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's full attention.

Score: 651

Boy: Grandpa! Grandpa! Make a noise like a frog! Grandpa: Why would I do that?
Boy: I heard mum telling dad, "We'll move to a bigger house once your father croaks."

Score: 379
Funny Frog Jokes
Score: 358

A frog decided to trace his genealogy one day... He discovered he was a tad Polish.

Score: 347

A little boy asks grandpa to make a noise like a frog. Grandpa asks why? Because mummy said the moment you croak is when we're all going to Disneyland!

Score: 340

A little girl asks her granddad "Would you make a frog noise for me"

Why, asks the granddad confused.

The little girl replies "Dad says when you croak we are all going to Disneyland"

Score: 318

Some species of frog can jump higher than a 3-story office building. It's because of their immensely powerful hind legs, and the fact that office buildings cannot jump.

Score: 280

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? Because every time she gets to 69 she gets a little frog stuck in her throat.

Score: 250

Why cant Miss Piggy count to 100? Every time she gets to 69 she has a frog in her throat.

Score: 204

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the VIII have in common? Same middle name.

Score: 158

Why can’t miss piggy count to 100? Because when she reaches 69 she gets a frog in her throat.

Score: 158

Scientists tested a frog. They cut off its legs and said "jump!"

The frog didn't jump.

Scientists therefore concluded that when frogs lose their legs, they become deaf.

Score: 119

What is green but turns red when you push the button A frog in a blender

Score: 116

Some species of frog can jump higher than three-story office buildings. It's because of their immensely powerful hind legs, and the fact that office buildings cannot jump.

Score: 103

Little girl: "Grandma, make a noise like a frog." Grandma: "Why?" Little girl: "Cause daddy says we'll make a lot of money when you croak."

Score: 102

What does a perverted frog say? Rub it, rub it

Score: 93

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? When she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her throat.

Score: 84

What does a perverted frog say ? Rubbit

Score: 76

A frog telephones a psychic hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

"Great," says the frog, "Will I meet her at a party?"

"No," said the psychic, "Next year - in biology class."

Score: 72

What did Kermit the Frog say when Jim Henson died? ...nothing.

Score: 72

Whats green and wet and smells like bacon? kermit the frog's finger

Score: 71

What do you have if you have one fuzzy, green ball in one hand and another fuzzy, green ball in the other hand? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention.

Score: 68

What happened to the frog who parked illegally? he got toad

Score: 63

Sesame Street never allowed Mrs. Piggy to count to 100. Everytime she made it to 69, she got a frog in her throat.

Score: 60

What did Kermit the Frog say after Jim Henson died? Nothing.

Score: 59

Why cant miss piggy count to 70? Because when she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her throat.

Score: 56

What do Kermit the frog and Henry the 8th have in common? The same middle name.

Score: 56

What do Harry Potter and Kermit the frog have in common? Hogwarts

Score: 55

Why wouldn't the frog lend his hammer to the mushroom? Because it's a toad's tool.

Score: 16

How does a frog get its leaves from a tree? They rippit

Score: 6

What happens to a frog when it breaks down? It gets TOAD away.

Score: 5

I overheard an extremely perverted frog at the pond yesterday. Kept saying "rubbit"

Score: 4

What is long, green and smells of pork? Kermit The Frog´s finger

Score: 3

A frog finds a wishing well... A frog finds a wishing well. A fairy comes out of it and it says it will grant the frog any wish.

He said that he wants a good job, a large vehicle, and many girls.

He now drives a Bus for a girls school.

Score: 3

Why did Kermit the Frog’s stage play get a standing ovation? He gave a ribbeting performance

Score: 3

There's a Frog in Alaska that freezes during the winter. While entering this state, it stops breathing, its heart stops beating, it's palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, there's vomit on its sweater already.

Score: 2

A young frog took one of those DNA ancestry tests. Turns out he's mostly German and a tadpole.

Score: 2

Did you hear about the frog that serenade's his fiancee? Yeah. He ribbits for her pleasure.

Score: 1

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New Frog Jokes

What happened to the frog when his car got stranded on the side of the road? He got toad

Score: 0

What does a frog with sweet tooth eat for lunch? Moskittles.

Score: 1

I found a frozen frog in my backyard this morning But its alright, he’s toadally cool

Score: 1

Licking a frog is good for depression Bad thing is that once you stop licking it, the frog becomes depressed again.

Score: 1

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