Hipster Jokes

How do You Drown a Hipster? Throw him into the mainstream.

Why did the hipster fall into the lake? He went ice skating before it was cool.

Why did the hipster drown? He went ice Skating before it was cool

What's the worst thing to say to a hipster? You remind me of someone

Why did the hipster drown? Because he went ice-skating before it was cool ‎( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

How did the hipster drown? He went ice skating before it was cool.

Why did the hipster burn his mouth while drinking coffee? Because he drank it before it was cool

How did the Hawaiian hipster die? He walked on lava before it was cool.

I saw a hipster walking outside in the cold. He didn't have a jacket on, so I asked him why.

He said he was outside before it was cool.

How do you drown a hipster? Throw them into the mainstream.

How did the hipster burn his fingertips? He was changing the lightbulb before it was cool.


[rimshot]

Why did the hipster drown, when he was iceskating? He was skating before it was cool

How do you get a hipster to take a shower? Give them a leaky showerhead.


You know, so they can avoid the main stream.

Where did the hipster drown? In the mainstream

How did the hipster drown? He ice-skated before it was cool.

What did the hipster say about the Chilean miners? I liked them so much better when they were underground.

Why did the hipster get burned when he drank his coffee? The barista make a joke about sleeping with his mother.

What's the difference between a hipster and a homeless man? An Instagram account.

Why did the hipster's mouth hurt? Because he ate pizza before it was cool.

What's a hipster's favorite kind of cigarette? Yours.

Why did the hipster refuse to undergo surgery? The anesthesia wasn't local.

If a hipster falls on the forest, does it make a sound? Yes...but you've probably never heard it before.

what's the best place to drown a hipster? in the main stream

How do you drown a hipster? Throw them in the mainstream

How do you kill a hipster? You drown them in the mainstream.

What's the difference between a hipster and a lumberjack? The lumberjack has a job.

Why did the hipster burn his lip when sipping coffee? He drank it before it was cool.

Why did the creepy hipster get arrested? because he was following people before instagram

How heavy is a hipster? One thousand instagrams

The Most Hipster Job Of All Time Is... Being a Mortician. Morticians are so hipster that their work doesn't get more popular; instead it just goes further underground.

Why did the hipster burn his lip on his coffee? He drank it before it was cool.

I have a joke about a hipster ...you've probably never heard it.

Q: How much mass is in a single hipster?



A: An Instagram

Why'd the hipster burn his tongue while drinking his coffee? He drank it before it was cool.

I asked a millennial hipster yoga teacher to leave the room... He said: "Nah a ma stay."

Why did the hipster sweat so much? He turned on the heating before it was cool.

A hipster atom says "I think I lost an electron!" Another atom asks "Are you sure?" to which the hipster atom replies "NO I was just being ionic."

Did hear about the hipster that became a rocket scientist? He only wanted to work on retrorockets.

How do you get a hipster to stop smoking? Tell them that cigarettes aren't gluten free.

You ever hear about the hipster cowboy? He went to pay respects to the people buried at Boot Hill.

. . .you've probably never heard of them, because they're so underground.