Periodic Table Jokes

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Funniest Periodic Table Jokes

Funny Periodic Table Jokes
Score: 100

I auditioned for a musical about the periodic table I got the lead role!

Score: 59

Breaking: scientists sneak up on periodic table And add the element of surprise

Score: 35

Chuck Norris joke cause it's been a long time. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Score: 30

Which element of the Periodic Table is the poorest? Antimony. ^I'm ^so ^sorry...

Score: 29

The chemistry department cafeteria has good food, but finding a place to sit can be a challenge. They only have periodic tables.

Score: 23

What does AH stand for in the Periodic Table? The Element of Surprise

Score: 20

What did Gold say to the periodic table? Hey you!

Score: 15

The periodic table just got one block smaller Scientists now say Plutonium is not a real element

Score: 12

I wanted to post a periodic table joke... But all the good ones argon

Score: 11

If I was an element on the Periodic Table... ...I'd be a noble gas. I don't form bonds easily, if at all.

Score: 9

What do you call a table with dots all over it? The periodic table!

Score: 9

What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.

Score: 8

I just noticed the Periodic Table has been updated recently. Welcome #119- "AH"! The element of surprise!

Score: 7

What did the scientist say when a lump of gold jumped on to his periodic table? Ay You, get off my table!

Score: 7

What is a pirate's favourite element on the periodic table? Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgon

Score: 7

It's never a good idea to steal a periodic table Coppers always Cu

Score: 6

I was going to tell a Periodic table joke... ...But they all Argon

Score: 6

What's a weeb's favorite element on the periodic table? Manganese

Score: 5

Apparently some people on Tumblr say they're sexually attracted to elements on the periodic table. That's not really my thing ... except for that time in college when I experimented with carbon dating.

Score: 5

Why is the element Ah always so hard to find on the periodic table? It’s the element of surprise.

Score: 5

What do you say when leaving the Periodic Table of Elements' police station? Cu Copper.

Score: 4

Why must aspiring ninjas study the periodic table? To master the element of surprise! - haha happy Saturday ?

Score: 4

My friend asked me if she could use my periodic table I said "sorry, I left it atom"

Edit: thanks for the Au!!

Score: 4

Do I have a joke about periodic table of elements? Na

Score: 3

If Iron on the Periodic Table is "Fe," Couldn't Iron Man also be called Female?

Score: 3

Nerdy pickup line. Hey baby, Are you uranium because I'm Iodine and if it was up to me I would rearrange the periodic table around and put U and I together. ;)

Score: 3

A friend showed me a periodic table app he made. I told him, "Cool. When's the next update?"

He replied, "You see, one of the basic elements of app-making is that you have to update it periodically."

Score: 3

What's after the last element on the periodic table AH- the element of surprise

Score: 3

What is all this #Brexit going around? When did Bromine decide to leave the periodic table?

Score: 3

Who wants to hear my joke about the periodic table? Actually Na, people won't get it.

Score: 3

What element in the Periodic Table of Elements can you not take seriously? Silly-con!

Score: 3

What did the student say after learning all the symbols on the periodic table? “Fluorine-Uranium-Carbon-Potassium this! Never again!”

Score: 3

Have you heard the joke about the periodic table? It’s Oxygen Potassium.

Score: 3

What's the stupidest element on the periodic table? Silicon

Score: 3

How do you track the reproductive cycle of pachyderms? With the Periodic Table of Elephants.

Score: 2

Just got a job as a scientist and I fell in love with the periodic table whilst the music was on.

It was my chemical romance.

Score: 2

Did you hear about the guys who stole Ar off the periodic table? They Argon and got away.

Score: 2

Chuck Norris doesn't recognize the Periodic Table... ...because the only element he believes in is the element of surprise.

Score: 2

Eminem is that guy in chemistry class that raps the whole periodic table. But skips Oxygen.

Score: 2

Periodic table lesson What did the scientist say when he found two helium atoms?


"He-He!"

​

(It's ok I know where the door is, bye)

Score: 2

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New Periodic Table Jokes

What does Mr Krabs have to do with the periodic table? Agagagagagagag

Score: 2

What did the chemistry teacher say to his friend when they found a mineshaft? BrAu


(if you don’t get it look at the periodic table)

Score: 1

If you ever encounter an evil witch show them the periodic table They're good at chemistry

Score: 1

My friend drew a giant periodic table and tripped on number 10 He's fine, but he could have hurt his Neon that

Score: 1

What do you call a collapsable outdoor table? A periodic table of the elements

Score: 1

I'm very possessive of the 83rd element on the periodic table? It's my bismuth.

Score: 2

I can never remember what Ag is on the periodic table. Edit: Thanks for the silver, kind stranger!

Score: 1

Now young chemist, never forget the Iron code of the periodic table... Fe-26

Score: 1

What goes across the periodic table? The periodic table cloth.

Score: 2

Which element on the periodic table is best at concealing itself? Hydrogen.

Score: 1

Chuck Norris does not acknowledge the Periodic Table of Elements ... because the only element he cares about is the element of surprise.

Score: 1

Somebody once told me that the symbol for Lithium was LT. I glanced at the periodic table. Clearly, it was Li.

Score: 2

I think the 79th element in the periodic table is hilarious It's comedy gold!

Score: 1

New element on periodic table It is called AH! It is an element of surprise

Score: 1

Call me the 7th noble gas. Cuz I'm Og.

(yay for the completion of the 7th row of the periodic table!)

Score: 2

The one that knows their periodic table better than anyone else.... has to be a girl.

Score: 2

What's a pirate's favorite element on the periodic table? Gold!

(works better when told - most will interrupt with "Arrrrrrrrrgon!")

Score: 1

Sherlock Holmes, how is the periodic table structured? It's elementally, my dear Watson.

Score: 2

Prostitute Teacher: Describe hydrogen Student: It is a prostitute element


Teacher: Who taught you that?

Student: You said it does not belong to a particular group and it reacts with almost all the elements in the periodic table.

Score: 2

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