A man goes to the doctors as he thinks he’s going deaf
“What are the symptoms?” The doctor asks
“They’re that yellow family that live in Springfield”
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
What's the difference between a deaf person and an Italian? One talks with their hands and makes goofy noises at random volumes, and the other can't hear.
(6-year old brother gave me this one) Why do farts smell? So that deaf people can enjoy them too!
There was a fight between a blind man, a deaf man, and a mute man I just have to ask, how long until we end this senseless violence?
This deaf girl used to flirt with me constantly, but I was oblivious to it. I wish I could have read the signs.
A group of deaf people get together to protest
The group begins chanting
“What do we want?”
When do we want them?”
Never let anyone tell you what you can and can't do. Take Beethoven for example, they told him he could not be a musician because he was deaf ... but he didn't listen.
I had a deaf girlfriend once, she left me for a guy who was also deaf. I should have seen the signs.
My best friend got cheated on by his deaf girlfriend... His girlfriend cheated on him with a deaf guy... To be fair, he should've seen the signs.
Deaf people probably get very excited when going on Omegle for the first time
"OMG How did you know?!"
A deaf guy walks into a bar...
A deaf guy walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here."
Deaf guy says, "I'll have a beer."
When my girlfriend complains about how bad her day was I like to hold her hands Because shes deaf
Never let anyone put you down. Take my mate Jim for example. He was told just because he's deaf he can't play in an orchestra... But did he listen...
Many people told Beethoven he would never be a musician just because he was deaf But did he listen?
I saw a mosquito flying over my head and i caught it
Then, I took off its wings and I shouted to it "Go Fly!"
but it didnt fly.
Conclusion: Mosquitoes go deaf when you remove their wings
When you see a deaf couple holding hands, maybe it's not romantic. Maybe they just want each other to shut up.
I just got reminded of my ex-wife who is deaf, she left me for another deaf person. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
How do you stop two deaf people from arguing?
Turn off the lights.
Sorry if this is a repost, btw. I haven’t seen it anywhere.
Did any of you hear about that deaf guy who saved a family from a burning building? Yeah neither did he.
A couple visit a psychiatrist
The husband says " when ever I try to talk to her she just holds up gang signs "
The wife replies ( in sign language )
" I'm deaf "
What did a drunk guy say to a deaf guy who accidentally hit him with his elbow? "Hey, watch your language!"
An old joke The dumb man tells the deaf man that the blind man saw the lame man running after the bald man to pull his hair
I don’t often tell dad jokes. He’s pretty deaf and I have to repeat them a lot. It’s really frustrating to repeat jokes and it just never is funny the second let alone third time I tell it. I think he has dementia too.
Ahhhh Helen keller died when she fell down a well. They say she screamed until her fingers bled, but to deaf ears.
I told my therapist that I was scared of loosing my hearing.... ...but it fell on deaf fears.
Dad: Hey son, have you heard that joke with the deaf guy and a dumbass?
Son: No, what is it?
Dad: I'm sorry, what?
Son: What's the joke?
Dad: I can't hear you.
Son: I hate you.
I can't hear all those coronavirus jokes anymore. And I'm not alone. The deaf rate is rising.
It would be so easy to rob a deaf person. Just break all of their fingers and they can’t tell anyone