A construction worker walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt.
The bartender asks: “What can I get you?”
The construction worker says “One beer for me, and one for the road.”
What do you call an amputee trying to do karate?
Edit: It's been pointed out that the grammatical construction of this joke could have been better. How about: "What is it called when an amputee does karate? Partial Arts.
I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job at the construction site... But when I got home, all the signs were there.
You guys wanna hear a construction joke?
..... hold on I'm working on it.
(Brought to you by my 8 year old nephew)
How do you advertise a boxing match between a Hispanic construction worker, and a Catholic priest. Alien vs predator
What do you hear if you take a construction worker's hat off and hold it to your ear? The OSHA.
I didn’t want to believe my friend was stealing from the road construction site. But I went to his house to confront him and all the signs were there.
My friend thought he made a good construction joke. Unfortunately there was absolutely no build up
How can you tell the difference between a construction worker and a chemist? Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
I saw two construction workers laughing together today. I know what they were building... Friendship.
I was walking past a construction site and the guy hammering on the roof called me a paranoid little weirdo...
...in morse code.
[Credit goes to Emo Phillips]
What is the easiest way to tell a construction worker from a chemist? Ask them to pronounce unionized.
Two construction workers Two construction workers are talking and one says, “I was gonna tell you a joke, but I’m still working on it.”
Two dogs have a home construction business and work on the tops of houses together. I guess you could say they work on woofs.
I just learned about the nonstop construction on Big Ben right now They really are working around the clock
How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a construction worker? Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
I didn't believe when they told me my brother was a construction site thief But when I got home, the signs were there
Why do construction crews on Mt. Rushmore have such a hard time figuring out who the boss is? Because it's covered with foremen...
My boss told me to break down some cinderblocks at a construction sight. So I started throwing Doritos at it. My boss comes over and asks “what are you doing? I told you to break it down.” I tell him “have patience, I’m chipping away at it.”
Did you hear the amazing story about the blind construction worker? He picked up a hammer and saw.
My construction worker friend died As a memorial everyone at his funeral stood around making themselves look busy
I think my friend is stealing from his job at a construction site... All the signs were there.
After spending a semester of my engineering degree studying the construction of the channel tunnel. I can reveal it was dug by a huge boring machine.
"Always leave them wanting more, that's what I say." "I'm asking when you'll be done with the construction on my house?"
A construction worker name Tom didn’t wear his hard had and got hit in the head by a falling brick When his coworkers asked him if he was okay, he replied, “No, I’m not okay, I’m Tom.”
I was walking by a construction site and a worker called me paranoid ......
.......in Morse code
I got a performance review done by a German...
I asked him "What do you call a large building used for construction of products?"
He said "Zat is factory".
And that's how I got a Satisfactory review.
Trucker stops by a prostitute
Trucker: what's your price?
Prostitute: I'll do anything for 20 bucks
Trucker: Hop in baby, we're going to a construction
Yo mama so ugly... When she walks by a construction site, the workers start whistling at each other.
My kids asked me why their tree house was in the shape of an octagon, I told them... during the construction process, corners were cut.
Today at the construction site we had an accident. I was hit in the head by a can. Lucky for me it was a soft drink
My construction worker friend says he has stopped getting morning wood. He says he has a rock tile dysfunction.
Females lag behind in math, engineering, and construction fields... ...because men have been exaggerating what constitutes six inches their whole lives.
I was going to tell you a Road construction Joke...
But I'm still working on it.
Reposted because my first attempt to tell this joke got the punchline removed.
“That’s an excavator. It’s funny when I call it an eckavator.” That’s it. It’s my three year old’s favorite joke. He tells it to me every time we pass a construction site and cracks up.