Hilarious Construction Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Construction Jokes

A construction worker walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt. The bartender asks: “What can I get you?”
The construction worker says “One beer for me, and one for the road.”

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What do you call an amputee trying to do karate? Partial Arts.

Edit: It's been pointed out that the grammatical construction of this joke could have been better. How about: "What is it called when an amputee does karate? Partial Arts.

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I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job at the construction site... But when I got home, all the signs were there.

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You guys wanna hear a construction joke? ..... hold on I'm working on it.

(Brought to you by my 8 year old nephew)

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How can you tell a construction worker from a chemist? You ask him to pronounce “Unionized“

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Want to hear a construction joke? I'm still working on it.

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I was offered a construction job in Egypt this morning. Turned out to be a pyramid scheme

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Seven construction men are all workings at the roadside... That's the joke...

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Would you like to hear a construction joke? **Well, I’m still working on it...**

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How do you advertise a boxing match between a Hispanic construction worker, and a Catholic priest. Alien vs predator

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Wanna hear a construction joke? Im working on it.

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You wouldn't like my construction joke, I'm still working on it

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Want to hear a construction joke? Hold on, I’m still working on it.

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You guys wanna hear a construction joke? I'm working on it.

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Girl, you’re like speeding in a construction zone… Double Fine

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What do you hear if you take a construction worker's hat off and hold it to your ear? The OSHA.

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Want to hear a good construction joke? I'm still working on it...

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My friend thought he made a good construction joke. Unfortunately there was absolutely no build up

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What kind of bird works on a construction site? A Crane.

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I have a really good construction joke ...but I'm still working on it.

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Want to hear a construction joke? Well, i'm still working on it.

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I had a joke about construction... But I’m still working on it.

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How can you tell the difference between a construction worker and a chemist? Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

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I saw two construction workers laughing together today. I know what they were building... Friendship.

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Wanna hear a construction joke? Sorry, I'm still working on it.

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Girl, are you a speeding infraction in a construction zone? ‘Cause you DOUBLE FINE!

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Have you heard about the new condo complex for lesbians? It's all tongue in groove construction. Not a stud in the whole place.

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Want to hear a construction joke? Sorry, I’m still working on it.

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Want to hear a Construction joke? I'm working on it.

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3 rules of construction: 1. Always use the right tool for the job. 2. The right tool is always a hammer.

3. Every tool can be used as a hammer.

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"I see," said the blind construction worker, As he picked up his hammer and saw

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A construction worker decided to go to a bar for a few drinks He got hammered.

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Do you know what impresses me most about gloryhole construction? The load-bearing walls.

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Your girlfriend is so ugly When she walks by a construction zone , workers get back to work

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While in my car I drove beneath an overpass that was getting some work done on it I was under construction.

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How do you tell the difference between a construction worker and a chemist? Ask them to pronounce the following word:

"U-N-I-O-N-I-Z-E-D"

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What happened to the Irish construction worker? He got hammered.

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Want to hear a good construction joke? I'm working on it.

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Hey girl are you a construction worker? Cause you're erecting something right now

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New Construction Jokes

Today, a CAT fell on me. Would've been funny, had I not been in a construction site.

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My construction worker friend says he has stopped getting morning wood. He says he has a rock tile dysfunction.

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Here’s a construction joke It’s not here yet because I’m still working on it.

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I'm trying to write a joke about construction but I'm still working on it

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Did you hear the joke about the construction worker? It was very riveting.

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What’s the difference between construction workers and philosophers? Construction requires Immanuel Labor, the other requires Immanuel Kant.

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Where did the construction birds go after a long day's work the crow-bar

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I have 2 reasons why I can't work in construction When I'm sober I blame my back, when I'm not I blame my BAC

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A construction worker without a helmet walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Jin Wong works in construction He had some of his tools and levels stolen so now he puts his name on his stuff..

Now everywhere I look its just Wong on so many levels..

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What's the difference between a magnet and a construction site? A construction site has more poles.

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I bought a dog from a construction worker today... ...I had a rough idea what it would've been like, but this dog raised the roof.

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If you’re looking for a job be a construction worker. I’ve heard they make banks.

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I once went high to my construction... I once went high to my construction job. The supervisor sent me home. Mfw I am the stoner that the builder refused.

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You ask a construction worker to tell a joke. He says, '' hold on I'm working on it"

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I heard a guy was playing with himself while watching construction workers on a job site... Guess he was getting off on the ground floor.

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I was driving through a construction zone when I saw a sign that read "slow down construction" That's a cocky place to put that

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So my boss told me to take the highroad. So I told him I must have missed the exit due to heavy construction on the road of life.

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Where do construction workers come? On your backhoe.

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A blind man walks into a bar ...and now the construction crew is in trouble for leaving their scaffolding stacked in the middle of the sidewalk.

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Why was the dog wearing a construction hat? His speciality is roofing.

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What did the construction worker say when people complained that his building didn't meet code? "I did asbestos I could."

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I couldn't believe it when my Dad was arrested for stealing from construction sites. I should have known really, all the signs were there.

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Did you hear about the guy... Did you hear about the guy in the construction accident? The whole left side of his body was cut off. Don't worry though, he's alright now.

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When I worked construction back in the day, they used to call me "Lightning." Never struck twice in the same place. (True story...)

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A dog hires a construction worker to build a house. The construction worker asks the dog what he would like to be built first. What does the dog say? Roof.

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I work in construction... We don't have side pieces, we have back hoes

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An economist walks out of the Brookings Institution When he walks out, he sees a gas station under construction, and says,

"Well, there goes the neighborhood."

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What's the road construction worker's equivalent of a plumbers crack? An asphalt

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Construction Joke Nevermind, I'll tell you tomorrow, I'm still working on it.

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A dyslexic construction worker couldn't decide what to upgrade. Between roofing equipment and flooring supplies, he chose the ladder.

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Did you hear about the construction worker that got arrested? He was handling his wood in public.

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How can you tell if someone is a construction worker or a chemist The way they pronounce unionised

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How many construction workers does it take to do a single job? As many as it takes to surround one laborer.

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So this guy is making a construction joke... But he's still working on it.

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I didn't want to believe we were having a trigonometry pop quiz during Math class today... But when I entered the classroom all the sines were there.

(A twist on a similar construction joke that you may have heard.)

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Why did the construction worker get frustrated and stamp a snail? Because it had been following him around all day

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