A construction worker walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt.
The bartender asks: “What can I get you?”
The construction worker says “One beer for me, and one for the road.”
What do you call an amputee trying to do karate?
Edit: It's been pointed out that the grammatical construction of this joke could have been better. How about: "What is it called when an amputee does karate? Partial Arts.
I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job at the construction site... But when I got home, all the signs were there.
You guys wanna hear a construction joke?
..... hold on I'm working on it.
(Brought to you by my 8 year old nephew)
How do you advertise a boxing match between a Hispanic construction worker, and a Catholic priest. Alien vs predator
What do you hear if you take a construction worker's hat off and hold it to your ear? The OSHA.
My friend thought he made a good construction joke. Unfortunately there was absolutely no build up
How can you tell the difference between a construction worker and a chemist? Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
I saw two construction workers laughing together today. I know what they were building... Friendship.
I was walking past a construction site and the guy hammering on the roof called me a paranoid little weirdo...
...in morse code.
[Credit goes to Emo Phillips]
What is the easiest way to tell a construction worker from a chemist? Ask them to pronounce unionized.
If white people are white paper, and black people are black paper. Then what are Mexican people? Construction paper
"Always leave them wanting more, that's what I say." "I'm asking when you'll be done with the construction on my house?"
A construction worker name Tom didn’t wear his hard had and got hit in the head by a falling brick When his coworkers asked him if he was okay, he replied, “No, I’m not okay, I’m Tom.”
I was walking by a construction site and a worker called me paranoid ......
.......in Morse code
I got a performance review done by a German...
I asked him "What do you call a large building used for construction of products?"
He said "Zat is factory".
And that's how I got a Satisfactory review.
Trucker stops by a prostitute
Trucker: what's your price?
Prostitute: I'll do anything for 20 bucks
Trucker: Hop in baby, we're going to a construction
Yo mama so ugly... When she walks by a construction site, the workers start whistling at each other.
My kids asked me why their tree house was in the shape of an octagon, I told them... during the construction process, corners were cut.
Today at the construction site we had an accident. I was hit in the head by a can. Lucky for me it was a soft drink
My construction worker friend says he has stopped getting morning wood. He says he has a rock tile dysfunction.
Females lag behind in math, engineering, and construction fields... ...because men have been exaggerating what constitutes six inches their whole lives.
I was going to tell you a Road construction Joke...
But I'm still working on it.
Reposted because my first attempt to tell this joke got the punchline removed.
“That’s an excavator. It’s funny when I call it an eckavator.” That’s it. It’s my three year old’s favorite joke. He tells it to me every time we pass a construction site and cracks up.
Construction equipment is actually pretty amazing. They've really got some groundbreaking technology.
I just received “Employee of the Month” at my furniture construction company. But some people call me counter productive.
How do you tell the difference between a construction worker and a chemist? Ask them to pronounce the word “unionized."
What’s the difference between construction workers and philosophers? Construction requires Immanuel Labor, the other requires Immanuel Kant.
What did the construction worker say about his list of construction jokes? Sorry I'm still working on it.
I suspected my dad was stealing signs from his construction job.
But on take your child to work day, he didn't show any signs.
\>! But when I got home, all the signs were there. !<