Construction Jokes


Funniest Construction Jokes

A construction worker walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt. The bartender asks: “What can I get you?”
The construction worker says “One beer for me, and one for the road.”

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Funny Construction Jokes
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What do you call an amputee trying to do karate? Partial Arts.

Edit: It's been pointed out that the grammatical construction of this joke could have been better. How about: "What is it called when an amputee does karate? Partial Arts.

Score: 631

I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job at the construction site... But when I got home, all the signs were there.

Score: 535

You guys wanna hear a construction joke? ..... hold on I'm working on it.

(Brought to you by my 8 year old nephew)

Score: 494

How can you tell a construction worker from a chemist? You ask him to pronounce “Unionized“

Score: 396

Want to hear a construction joke? I'm still working on it.

Score: 310

I was offered a construction job in Egypt this morning. Turned out to be a pyramid scheme

Score: 226

Seven construction men are all workings​ at the roadside... That's the joke...

Score: 195

Would you like to hear a construction joke? **Well, I’m still working on it...**

Score: 146

How do you advertise a boxing match between a Hispanic construction worker, and a Catholic priest. Alien vs predator

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Wanna hear a construction joke? Im working on it.

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You wouldn't like my construction joke, I'm still working on it

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Want to hear a construction joke? Hold on, I’m still working on it.

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You guys wanna hear a construction joke? I'm working on it.

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Girl, you’re like speeding in a construction zone… Double Fine

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What do you hear if you take a construction worker's hat off and hold it to your ear? The OSHA.

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Want to hear a good construction joke? I'm still working on it...

Score: 42

My friend thought he made a good construction joke. Unfortunately there was absolutely no build up

Score: 41

What kind of bird works on a construction site? A Crane.

Score: 39

I have a really good construction joke ...but I'm still working on it.

Score: 35

Want to hear a construction joke? Well, i'm still working on it.

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I had a joke about construction... But I’m still working on it.

Score: 33

How can you tell the difference between a construction worker and a chemist? Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

Score: 30

I saw two construction workers laughing together today. I know what they were building... Friendship.

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Wanna hear a construction joke? Sorry, I'm still working on it.

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Girl, are you a speeding infraction in a construction zone? ‘Cause you DOUBLE FINE!

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Have you heard about the new condo complex for lesbians? It's all tongue in groove construction. Not a stud in the whole place.

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Want to hear a construction joke? Sorry, I’m still working on it.

Score: 24

Want to hear a Construction joke? I'm working on it.

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3 rules of construction: 1. Always use the right tool for the job. 2. The right tool is always a hammer.

3. Every tool can be used as a hammer.

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A construction worker decided to go to a bar for a few drinks He got hammered.

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What happened to the Irish construction worker? He got hammered.

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A construction worker asked me to make a joke about the contents of his toolbox. Unfortunately, I don't have any drill bits.

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How can you tell if someone is a construction worker or a chemist The way they pronounce unionised

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Did you hear the joke about the construction worker? It was very riveting.

Score: 4

What did the construction worker say when people complained that his building didn't meet code? "I did asbestos I could."

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I have 2 reasons why I can't work in construction When I'm sober I blame my back, when I'm not I blame my BAC

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How many construction workers does it take to do a single job? As many as it takes to surround one laborer.

Score: 2

If you’re looking for a job be a construction worker. I’ve heard they make banks.

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New Construction Jokes

Today, a CAT fell on me. Would've been funny, had I not been in a construction site.

Score: 0

My construction worker friend says he has stopped getting morning wood. He says he has a rock tile dysfunction.

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Here’s a construction joke It’s not here yet because I’m still working on it.

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I'm trying to write a joke about construction but I'm still working on it

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What’s the difference between construction workers and philosophers? Construction requires Immanuel Labor, the other requires Immanuel Kant.

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Where did the construction birds go after a long day's work the crow-bar

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A construction worker without a helmet walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Jin Wong works in construction He had some of his tools and levels stolen so now he puts his name on his stuff..

Now everywhere I look its just Wong on so many levels..

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What's the difference between a magnet and a construction site? A construction site has more poles.

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I bought a dog from a construction worker today... ...I had a rough idea what it would've been like, but this dog raised the roof.

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An economist walks out of the Brookings Institution When he walks out, he sees a gas station under construction, and says,

"Well, there goes the neighborhood."

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A dyslexic construction worker couldn't decide what to upgrade. Between roofing equipment and flooring supplies, he chose the ladder.

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Did you hear about the construction worker that got arrested? He was handling his wood in public.

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So this guy is making a construction joke... But he's still working on it.

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I didn't want to believe we were having a trigonometry pop quiz during Math class today... But when I entered the classroom all the sines were there.

(A twist on a similar construction joke that you may have heard.)

Score: 2

Why did the construction worker get frustrated and stamp a snail? Because it had been following him around all day

Score: 2

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