I heard that they have dogs now that can smell if you've got cancer That must be the most depressing dog ever to take on a walk. "Your dog really likes me" "I'm so sorry."
Dark humor is like cancer. It's even funnier when children get it.
I've heard like seven cancer jokes today... If I hear tumor it's gonna benign.
IDK what's so hard about cancer I'm already on stage 4
A doctor says "The good news is it's all in your head." "The bad news is it's brain cancer."
So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back. Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
I don’t get why people say cancer is hard to beat I’m already on Stage 4
Vaccinated babies are 10 times more likely to die from heart disease, cancer, and alzheimer’s. Keep kids from dying from old age, stop vaccinating today.
EMINEM: his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy WEB MD: Cancer.
I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back Apparently, that is an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
Why did Ellen Pao fire an employee with cancer? She felt threatened by someone more malignant than herself
Adam gave Sally 3 flowers and 1 stuffed animal. Kristen gave Sally 5 flowers and 2 stuffed animals. What does Sally have? cancer.
What's the difference between me and cancer My dad didn't beat cancer
It turns out vaccines cause cancer. You'll actually live long enough to get it.
Buzzfeed employee is diagnosed with stage 2 brain cancer Doctor: Number 4 will blow your mind.
Doctor: You have cancer and Alzheimer's Patient: Atleast Idont have Cancer
I've already heard like seven cancer jokes today... If I hear tumor, it's gonna benign.
My grandfather developed cancer in his early twenties. He is considered to be the most evil scientist that ever lived.
My mum's starsign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died... She was eaten by a massive crab
Dark humor: Explained
Dark humor is like a child with cancer
It never gets old
My girlfriend got upset when I said she'd look sexier with her hair back Apparently it's harsh to say to a cancer patient.
I said to my girlfriend that I think she'd look sexier with her hair back… Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
Joey gives Mary 1 stuffed animal and 2 flowers.
Joey gives Mary 1 stuffed animal and 2 flowers. Emma gives Mary 3 flowers and 2 stuffed animals. Sam gives Mary 2 stuffed animals and 1 flower. What does Mary have?
Cancer. Mary has cancer.
I suggested my girlfriend she would look sexier with her hair back... Apparently it's an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
Dark humour is like a child with cancer It never gets old.
Yesterday, my wife told me she has breast cancer “Honey,” she said, “there’s a couple things I need to get off my chest.”
I told my wife she'd look sexier with her hair back. Apparently that's not something you should say to a cancer patient.
My friend, who's star sign was cancer, died very ironically. He was mauled by a giant crab.
Okay to tell dead Steve Jobs jokes now? What's the difference between cancer and the middle class? At least cancer got Jobs.
My Wife's star sign is Cancer and it's pretty ironic how she died... She was attacked by a giant crab
I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back.. ..which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
I suggested my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back.. Apparently it was an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
I said to my girlfriend that she would look sexier with her hairback Apparently thats an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient
A man diagnosed with cancer was given six months to live, but he worked hard and proved them wrong. He killed himself three hours later.
Kids in class were asked to write 3 diseases
One kid wrote:
1. HIV, AIDS
The teacher asked what's '/' ?
Student replied it's a stroke.
What is your zodiac sign?
Doctor: What is your zodiac sign?
Doctor: What a coincidence...
My grandfather developed cancer when he was younger. Some say he’s the most evil scientist who ever lived.
Dark humour is like a kid with cancer
It never gets old
Credits to /u/CookieDestroyer66
He da real MVP.
Did you ever get two pieces of shocking news at once? I just found out my sister was diagnosed with testicular cancer.
You know what cancer and I have in common? My dad beat both, unfortunately....
My cousins zodiac sign was cancer, kind of ironic how she died... She was eaten by a giant crab
What did the deaf, mute, paraplegic get for Christmas? Cancer
Buzzfeed must have been born between May 22nd and June 22nd... Because it’s definitely a Cancer
What do you call a retired cancer doctor? An Offcologist.
An anarchist and a communist have an argument The communist wins the argument and the anarchist then says, "Thanks for giving me pro-state cancer."
I heard the 3 out of 5 people suffer from cancer The other 2 must be enjoying it!
An old man goes to his doctor.
The doctor says "I got some bad news for you. you have Cancer and you have Alzheimer's."
And the old man says "At least I don't have Cancer."
My car was making a really strange noise last night. I went online to diagnose it... Turns out, my car has cancer.
A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, ‘Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?’ I said, ‘Alright, but we won’t get much done.'
People are really sad about the news that Larry King has lung cancer while others are excited to hear he's alive.
Laughter is the best medicine. Unless they have cancer. You can laugh at them all day and they still don't get better.
My late grandmother's star sign was Cancer, which is ironic... She got killed by a giant crab.
My grandma's star sign was Cancer so her death was pretty ironic... She was killed by a giant crab.
I've read like 7 jokes about John McCain's cancer today If I read tumor, it's gonna benign.
How is looking up your symptoms on WebMD like your July Horoscope? It's probably cancer.
A child with cancer goes skydiving for his bucket list He's now at terminal velocity.
I was diagnosed with cancer earlier this year Which is great, I can finally make cancer jokes without feeling bad about it
My grandmother went to a gynecologist to check on hey cervical cancer.
The doctor says to my grandmother: "Now, Mrs. Smith, I'm going to insert my finger..."
My grandmother replies: "Can you put in two? I want a second opinion."
There's only one thing I haven't quit on... Now I have lung cancer.
And now, two guys bonding over their star sign as well as a short summary of The Fault in out Stars
Dark humor never gets old. Kinda like a kid with cancer.
The real Zodiac Killer is... Cancer.
"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The interrupting doctor." "The interrupting doctor wh-" You've got cancer
Racist jokes are like kids with cancer...
... They dont get Old.
(This is not intended to insult anyone)
Racist jokes are like kids with cancer They never get old!
My ex wife's star sign was Cancer, quite ironic considering how she died...
...Eaten by a giant crab 🦀
Note: not my joke, not sure where I heard it
Edit: Jimmy Carr / Bo Burnham
Let's be thankful WebMD never got into Astrology... Otherwise everybody would just be a Cancer
Vaccines cause cancer Because you'll live long enough to get it
People who don't laugh at cancer jokes have no sense of tumor.
Steve Jobs and Trump had one thing in common, both hated the PC culture Political correctness and pancreatic cancer.
I told my wife she would look sexier with her hair back. Apparently that's not a nice thing to say to a cancer patient.
Dark Humour is like a child with cancer They aren't needed in an ideal society.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer"
I told my wife that she would look better with her hair back She was furious, apparently it's insensitive to say that to cancer patients.
Friend: "Would you ever work for buzzfeed?"
Me: "No, sorry I don't support cancer"
What did the blind deaf mute child get for Christmas? Cancer
How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? Twelve. 1 to change the lightbulb, and 11 to say "Aw, he's so brave".
A doctor is talking to a patient.
P: Am I going to be okay?
D: You're as healthy as a horse-
D: -with cancer.
My cousin said he has brain cancer... I guess you can say it's all in his head
What do you call someone who works for buzzfeed? A cancer cell
My grandmother was born under the sign of Cancer, which is ironic because last week she actually got killed by a giant crab.
Breast cancer awareness has pink ribbons, but what does alcoholism awareness have? Bruises.
My friend said cancer was nothing to joke about I found that statement rather tumorous
Patient: What's the diagnosis, doctor?
Doctor: What's your zodiac sign?
Doctor: What a coincidence!
They say dogs can detect cancer by scent.. Wondering if CAT scan too..
Turns out dogs can't detect cancer Cats can...
I don't understand why people do all of these marathons for cancer If I was to do one, I would expect a trophy, not a life threatening disease
If I made a dollar for every cancer joke I've made I'd be able to pay for chemo
How are cancer and pregnancy similar? They can both be fixed with intense radiation therapy.
What do fish do when they have cancer? Nemotherapy
Dark humor is a lot like cancer Grown ups mainly get it but sometimes kids get it too.
Dark humor is like child cancer. Not everyone gets it.
An Airport goes to the Dr...
And the Dr says, "i have bad news. You have cancer."
The airport replies, "oh no, what kind?"
WebMD has integrated Google's Deepmind.
On startup it performed a self diagnostic test.
Turns out, it's cancer.
So a lady was waiting at the doctor's... The doctor is obsessed with the stars, and is a junior astrologist, so, naturally, he asks the woman what her Zodiac symbol is. She responds; "Cancer, why?". "What a coincidence..." Said the Doctor.
Here's a joke about cancer... about 1/3 of you guys will get it.
Said to a cashier the other day...
So I was making a purchase and after ringing up my order, the cashier asks "would you like to make a donation to cancer treatment research?"
I said "no, they're just gonna spend it on drugs"
My friend's star sign was cancer, so I guess it's quite ironic how he died. He got attacked by a giant crab.
How did the cow feel after being diagnosed with breast cancer? She was in udder disbelief.