Hairline Jokes

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Funniest Hairline Jokes

My hairline is like the French Army... It's been ordered not to retreat, but nature is taking its course anyway

Funny Hairline Jokes

What do you call a group of rabbits backing up? A Receding hairline

Lebron's life is like one big compass... He went South, His hairline went North, his dad went East and his mom went Delonte West.

My pet rock has a receding hairline He’s a little boulder

Your hairline is so far back Rosa parks don't wanna sit there.

What did one wig ask the other wig before going to a vacation? With which hairline are you flying with?

My friend keeps thinking that he has a receding hairline I told him it's all in his head

Your hairline is so far back That even Rosa Parks sat in front of it.

I think my hairline is starting to recede to I asked my wife what she thought about it She said it's definitely not in your head.

Now that’s a pick up line Hey girl are you my hairline because your receding from me.

Why are all french soldiers bald? Their hairline only knows retreating.

What did your hairline say to your eyebrows? It's my highground now, boy!

I heard my 10yo say this to his friend who has a forehead like Pennywise.

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Long Hairline Jokes

Men's Helpline

Men's Helpline

"Hello, you have reached the Men's Help Line, my name is Bob. How can I help you?"

"Hi Bob, I really need your advice on a serious problem. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. You know, just the usual signs: The phone rings and when I answer, the caller hangs up. Plus, she goes out with the girls a lot. I usually try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home, but I always fall asleep. Anyway, last night about midnight, I woke up and she was not home. So, I hid in the garage, behind my boat and waited for her. When she came home, she got out of someone's car, buttoning her blouse. Then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, while crouching behind the boat, that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard motor mounting bracket. Is that something I can weld, or do I need to replace the whole bracket?"

MEN'S HELP LINE - Letter of the Month

Hi John,

I really need your advice on a serious problem: I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep. Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment crouched behind the boat that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard engine mounting bracket. Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace the whole bracket?

Mens Help Line

MEN'S HELP LINE - Letter of the Month

Hi John,

I really need your advice on a serious problem: I have suspected
for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs:
if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the
girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home
but I usually fall asleep. Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the
shed behind the boat. When she came home she got out of someone's car
buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and
slipped them on. It was at that moment crouched behind the boat that I
noticed a hairline crack in the outboard engine mounting bracket. Is that
something I can weld or do I need to replace the whole bracket?

Men's Help Line

MEN"S HELP LINE, "Hello, my name is Bob. How can I help you?"

Caller: "Hi, Bob, I really need your advice on a serious problem. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: If the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up. She goes out with 'the girls' a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home, but I usually fall asleep.

Anyway, last night about midnight, I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home, she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, crouched behind the boat, that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard motor mounting bracket.

Is that something I can weld, or do I need to replace the whole bracket?"

Men's "Help Line" Question

Hello, you have reached the "Men's Help Line." My name is Don. How can I help you?

Caller: "Hey, buddy, I need your advice on a very serious problem.

For some time, now, I've suspected that my wife's been cheating on me.

I've been seeing the usual signs ~ like the phone rings, and when I answer, the caller hangs up. Plus, she sure goes out with "the girls" a lot. Well, last night about midnight, I woke up and she was **still** not home. So, I went and hid in the garage behind my bass boat to wait for her.

When she finally came dragging home, she jumped out of some stranger's Ford F-250 Super Duty, buttoned up her blouse, pulled her panties out of her purse and wiggled into them.

It was at that moment, while crouching behind the boat, that I noticed a hairline crack in my outboard motor mounting bracket.

Now, Don, here's my question: Is this something that I can weld back together, or do I need to replace the **whole** bracket?"

A guy calls Men's Help Line

"Hello, you have reached the Men's Help Line, my name is Bob. How can I help you?"

"Hi Bob, I really need your advice on a serious problem. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. You know, just the usual signs: The phone rings and when I answer, the caller hangs up. Plus, she goes out with the girls a lot. I usually try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home, but I always fall asleep. Anyway, last night about midnight, I woke up and she was not home. So, I hid in the garage, behind my boat and waited for her. When she came home, she got out of someone's car, buttoning her blouse. Then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, while crouching behind the boat, that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard motor mounting bracket. Is that something I can weld, or do I need to replace the whole bracket?"

So, I went to go get my haircut..

And I told the barber to make the left side a little shorter than my right. Then I told him to make a couple of little holes and bald patches. And for the back of my head, don't make my hairline equal. Make it a zigzag.

He looks at me and says, "Come on, you know I can't do that, it wouldn't be right!"

And I'm like, "I don't see the problem, you did it last time..."

I really need your advice on a serious problem.

I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. Some of the signs are if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up. She also goes out with the girls a lot.

Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning up her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.

It was at that moment while I was crouched behind the boat that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard engine mounting bracket.

Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace the whole bracket?

Please advise me ASAP since I'm quite worried about this.

A man writes to an advice column

I really need some advice, i just don't know what to do.

I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs are there, the phone rings, but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with “the girls” a lot recently, although when I ask their names she always says, “Just some friends from work,
you don’t know them..” I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. Around midnight, I decided to hide next to the garage behind my boat so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with “the girls”. When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, which was open, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on

It was at that moment, crouching behind the boat, that I noticed some hairline cracks in the hull, right where the aluminium of the hull meets the transom. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take the boat into the yard for repairs?

So a pair of cannibals are sitting down to a nice meal...

...of Jerry Seinfeld.

A while into the meal, one of the cannibals says,

"I'm going for the forehead, do you want any?" as he cuts a slice from the front of Jerry's scalp. The other cannibal declines, shaking his head and saying,

"What's the deal with hairline food?"

Cheating wife

Guys,

I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. I think deep down I just did not want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to finally check on her.

Around midnight, I hid in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with 'the girls. '

When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, which was open, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.

It was at that moment, crouching behind my golf clubs, that I noticed a hairline crack where the grip meets the graphite shaft on my 3-wood.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro-shop where I bought it?

Walking Economy

A guy is walking down the street with his friend. He says to his friend, "I'm just a walking economy."

His friend replies, "What do you mean?"

"It's like this: My hairline is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and the combination of these factors is putting me into a deep depression.

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