Hilarious Cannibal Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Cannibal Jokes

What did Sparticus do to the cannibal who ate his nagging wife? Nothing, he's gladiator.

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What did Spartacus say to the cannibal who killed his wife. Nothing, he's Gladiator.

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Me: “Did you invite Dan to the party?” My friend: “Yeah.”

Me: “Cannibal Dan or Dan that can’t spell?”

*notification from my friends phone, it’s a text from Dan.* “I can’t wait to meat your friends tonight.

My friend: “I’m not sure”

Score: 2028

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Two clowns are eating a cannibal. One turns to the other and says: "I think we got this joke wrong".

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"A cannibal once took my sister to see a Russell Crowe film" "Gladiator?"

"No, I really miss her"

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What do you give a cannibal that shows up late to dinner? A cold shoulder.

Score: 813

Two clowns are eating a cannibal. The first clown says to the second "I think we're doing this joke wrong".

Score: 712

Why did the cannibal leave the restaurant? Because he got cold feet.

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What did Spartacus say to the cannibal who ate his wife? Nothing, he's gladiator.

Score: 462

the cannibal said in his trial - “If I am what I eat..." "Then I'm an innocent man"

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A cannibal showed up late to the luncheon His friends gave him the cold shoulder.

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I was so late to the cannibal banquet They just gave me a cold shoulder

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Two clowns are eating a cannibal. One turns to the other and says, "Um, I think we got this joke wrong."

Score: 265

A police officer was assigned to hunt a dangerous cannibal on his first day on the job All the more seasoned officers had already been eaten

Score: 189

I saw a cannibal at the nursing home the other day, he was walking around making fun of all the residents. I realized then that I actually had something in common with him. I too find vegetables to be tastier if I roast them first.

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For a lion to become a cannibal He must first swallow his pride

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What do you call a doctor who eats his vegetables? A cannibal.

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How does a cannibal say hello? He offers you a handshake.

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What's the first thing a cannibal does in the morning? Grab a cup of joe.

Score: 144

A cannibal in a courtroom Representing himself, the cannibal was asked by the judge if he had anything to say.

"If the quote "You are what you eat" is true then I am an innocent man."

Score: 137

Two clowns are eating a cannibal... One turns to the other and says "Bob, I think we are telling this joke wrong..."

Score: 137

What happened when the cannibal was late for lunch? He was given the cold shoulder.

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What is a Cannibal? Someone who is fed up with people.

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The cannibal was late to dinner He was given the cold shoulder

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What does the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend Flush

I heard this from my 11 year old cousin, the look on his mom's face after he told me this made my day.

Score: 124

Two clowns are eating a cannibal One turns to the other and says, "Wait. I think we are doing this wrong."

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Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer. Cannibal 1: "Does this taste funny to you?"

Cannibal 2: "Not at all, and there's plenty to go around!"

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What did the cannibal get when he was late to dinner? The cold shoulder

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What happened when the cannibal was late to the dinner party? He got the cold shoulder.

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A cannibal dumped his girlfriend. And then flushed.

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Don't show up late for a cannibal's dinner party... You'll get the cold shoulder

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What happens when a lion becomes a cannibal? He swallows his pride...

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What did the cannibal say to 2 Mexicans? I thought I'd eat both of you but I only have room for Juan

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What’s a cannibal’s favorite kind of noodle? Rawmen

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I got invited to a cannibal's luncheon last week, but I showed up about 30 minutes late. They gave me the cold shoulder.

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What happened to the cannibal who was late for dinner? He got the cold shoulder.

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What do you call a cannibal that only eats coma patients? Vegetarian

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What's the difference between a Japanese person and a cannibal? One eats Ramen, the other eats Raw Men

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What happens to the cannibal when he's late for dinner? He gets the cold shoulder

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New Cannibal Jokes

What is a cannibal's favourite shake? Handshake

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My neighbour showed up at my party last night. Me: My friend Jack is coming as well btw

Them: The cannibal Jack or the Jack that can't spell?

Me \[checks my phone for Jack's text message: I can't wait to meat ur neighbours!\]: Yeah I'm not sure either.

Score: 5

What did the Cannibal Hysterectomy Surgeon have for dinner? Left Ovaries.

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Do you know how cannibal calls athletes? Fast Food.

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Its so frustrating being a cannibal I swear, sometime I just wanna throw up my hands.

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What do you call a cannibal that eats himself ? A narcissist

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Which part of his new job disappointed the cannibal? The human resources department

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A suspected cannibal stood in front of a judge and was asked to give his final statement, to which he replied: "If you are what you eat, then I am an innocent man".

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Why don’t cannibal Muslims eat Americans? Cause they can’t eat pork

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What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? Kinder Surprise

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What did the cannibal couple take with them to the park? A picnic casket

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What did the Roman say when a cannibal ate his ex-wife? Glad he ate her.

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How does a tech savvy cannibal count his calories? In kill-o-bites.

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What did the Japanese cannibal who's afraid of fire eat for dinner? Raw men.

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A cannibal went walking in the forest... ... and he passed his neighbor.

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What did the cannibal say when he met a fully armored knight? Argh... Canned food again?

Score: 2

What's an Asian cannibal's favorite food? Ramen

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Two Clowns are eating a cannibal. One turns to the other and says "meh we are now what we eat."

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there was once a frustrated cannibal. he threw up his arms.

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So these 2 cannibals are eating dinner. One cannibal says, man I hate my mother-in-law. The other cannibal says, so eat the rice.

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What did the cannibal say as he took his spouse's thigh out of the refrigerator? Today is the first day of the rest of my wife.

Score: 17

What do you give a cannibal that came to dinner too late because he was out drinking? The cold shoulder.

Score: 3

Two mimes are eating a cannibal clown One turns to the other and says

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A cannibal boy tells his mother: "Mom, I don't like grandfather" "Then eat only the fries", replied the mom.

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Why did the cannibal need laxatives? To help dump her boyfriend.

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What seasoning does a widowed cannibal use? Old Bae

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What is a cannibal's true test of trust? 69-ing

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What life advice did the Jewish cannibal give to his friend? Keep your friends close, but your enemies kosher

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Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer. One says to the other "does this taste funny to you"
The other cannibal says "No".

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"I enjoy a joint every now and then" "Usually a knee or an elbow" said the cannibal.

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there's two cannibals in a tree a knight in armor comes around the first cannibal says to the other "dude canned food again?"

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What is a cannibal's favourite TV Show? Graze Anatomy.

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Two cannibals are eating a clown. One cannibal turns to the other and says "does this taste funny to you?".

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I was talking to a cannibal He said he passed my brother in the forest the other day.

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So these two clowns... These two clowns are eating a cannibal.

One clown looks at the other and says:
"I think we messed this joke up somewhere along the line..."

Score: 2

What do you give a cannibal that is late to dinner? The cold shoulder

Score: 13

Clowns Two clowns are eating a cannibal.

One turns to the other and says, "I think we got this joke wrong".

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What is a pregnant woman to a cannibal? Kinder Surprise.

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A cannibal passed his brother in the woods

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What's a cannibal's favorite dessert... Lady fingers

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The cannibal A cannibal was handed the funurary urn of a relative: What is this, instant soup?

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What does a cannibal order at a Chinese restaurant? Rawmen

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What did the cannibal eat at the Chinese restaurant? Chow Man

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Where did the cannibal dump his girlfriend? In the toilet

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One day a cannibal's cellmate went missing, and he told the warden that he ate him.. The warden didn't believe him, so the cannibal finally threw up his hands out of frustration.

Score: 19

I think people think I'm a cannibal. Every now and then somebody will tell me "You are what you eat."

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2 cannibals start eating at opposite ends of body... Cannibal 1: "I'm having a ball."

Cannibal 2: "Boy you eat fast."

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What did the frustrated cannibal do? Throw up his hands

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An inspector arrives at murder scene of an obese man by a cannibal It was a lot to digest

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What happened to the cannibal that turned up late? He got the cold shoulder!

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A cannibal walks into a restaurant and tries to order The waitress tells him, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here."

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What kind of instrument does a cannibal play? The organ

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I saved my cannibal neighbor's daughter from drowning today. Her father was so grateful he gave me a hand shake. It had some chunks, but it was delicious.

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What race does a cannibal like to eat most? Hebrews, because they're jewcy.

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Did you hear about the viking cannibal? He had a Swede-tooth

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A cannibal has eaten former president Clinton. He’s expected to pass a Bill in the house chamber shortly.

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What was the cannibal's favorite part about the Vegetarian dish? The Vegetarian

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A cannibal came late to the family dinner. He was given the cold shoulder.

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What do you call a cannibal who only eats comatose people? A vegetarian.

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Show me a cannibal who gets sick on missionary stew... ...and I'll show you that you can't keep a good man down!

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