Cannibal Jokes

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Funniest Cannibal Jokes

What did Sparticus do to the cannibal who ate his nagging wife? Nothing, he's gladiator.

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What did Spartacus say to the cannibal who killed his wife. Nothing, he's Gladiator.

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Funny Cannibal Jokes
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"A cannibal once took my sister to see a Russell Crowe film" "Gladiator?"

"No, I really miss her"

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What do you give a cannibal that shows up late to dinner? A cold shoulder.

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Why did the cannibal leave the restaurant? Because he got cold feet.

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What did Spartacus say to the cannibal who ate his wife? Nothing, he's gladiator.

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the cannibal said in his trial - “If I am what I eat..." "Then I'm an innocent man"

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wipe his butt.

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A cannibal showed up late to the luncheon His friends gave him the cold shoulder.

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I was so late to the cannibal banquet They just gave me a cold shoulder

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A police officer was assigned to hunt a dangerous cannibal on his first day on the job All the more seasoned officers had already been eaten

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I saw a cannibal at the nursing home the other day, he was walking around making fun of all the residents. I realized then that I actually had something in common with him. I too find vegetables to be tastier if I roast them first.

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For a lion to become a cannibal He must first swallow his pride

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How does a cannibal say hello? He offers you a handshake.

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What's the first thing a cannibal does in the morning? Grab a cup of joe.

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A cannibal in a courtroom Representing himself, the cannibal was asked by the judge if he had anything to say.

"If the quote "You are what you eat" is true then I am an innocent man."

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What happened when the cannibal was late for lunch? He was given the cold shoulder.

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The cannibal was late to dinner He was given the cold shoulder

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What does the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend Flush

I heard this from my 11 year old cousin, the look on his mom's face after he told me this made my day.

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Two clowns are eating a cannibal One turns to the other and says, "Wait. I think we are doing this wrong."

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Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer. Cannibal 1: "Does this taste funny to you?"

Cannibal 2: "Not at all, and there's plenty to go around!"

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What did the cannibal get when he was late to dinner? The cold shoulder

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What happened when the cannibal was late to the dinner party? He got the cold shoulder.

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Two cannibals were eating Amy Schumer... One cannibal says to the other one, "Does this taste funny to you?"

And the other one goes, "No."

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What do you call a war between two cannibal tribes? A food fight.

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Why did the cannibal live on his own? He was fed up with other people.

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A cannibal dumped his girlfriend. And then flushed.

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A cannibal ate an optimist once He couldn't quite keep him down.

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Flushed.

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A cannibal once took my sister to see a Russell Crowe movie? “Gladiator?”

“No, I really miss her.”

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Did you hear about the cannibal who came home late for dinner? He got the cold shoulder

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Two cannibals are eating a missionary starting at opposite ends. One says to the other "This guy's ear is delicious! Are you enjoying eating him as much as I am?"
The other cannibal says "I'm having a ball."

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What's the best thing about being a cannibal in a coma ward? Fresh vegetables.

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What happens to the cannibal who is late to the party? He gets the cold shoulder.

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What did the late arriving cannibal receive at the dinner party? The cold shoulder.

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Short and sweet cannibal joke Did you know cannibals don’t exist anymore... I ate the last one yesterday

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Did you hear about the cannibal who showed up late to the luncheon? They gave him the cold shoulder.

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Why did the cannibal only eat coma patients? The doctor said he needed more vegetables in his diet.

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What did the cannibal say to 2 Mexicans? I thought I'd eat both of you but I only have room for Juan

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An inmate went messing, and his cellmate, a cannibal, claimed he had eaten him The warden didn't believe him, so the cannibal finally threw up his hands out of frustration.

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New Cannibal Jokes

Cannibal jokes are great and all But I really can't stomach some of the people who tell them

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There once lived a cannibal in Rome who ate only women. He was a Glad-he-ate-her.

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The last cannibal is gone They ate him

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Just because a cannibal is late for dinner... ...Doesnt mean he only deserves a cold shoulder

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Friend: A cannibal took my wife to see a Russell Crowe movie. Me: Gladiator?

Friend: No, I really miss her.

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Did you hear about the cannibal who wanted to eat the cast of Ocean's Eleven? He filled up on Brad

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What do you call a class that teaches how to eat people? A cannibal lecture.

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What did Spartacus do to the cannibal who ate his nagging wife Nothing he’s gladiator

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Cannibal stories are just fables,,, short story with animals, no ?

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What is the favorite food of the cannibal who only ate scientists? Marie Curry

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I was late to the cannibal party So they gave me the cold shoulder

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What did the cannibal say after he took a bite out of one of his parents? Umami

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Why did the cannibal go to the hospital? Because he wanted vegetables!

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What do you call a cannibal who doesn't eat vegetables? Cannibal lecturer.

like hannibal lecter...

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A cannibal at a book convention... A cannibal attended a book convention and he et Al.

Then et al.

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When a cannibal has fast food he gets... A Samburger and French guys

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Where does a cannibal get a quick bite? At a fast foot restaurant.

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? ​

Wiped.

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Why did the cannibal not eat Usain Bolt? They’re cutting back on fast food.

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Why did the cannibal hate Michael Jordan? Too gamey

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Japanese cannibal What is a japanese cannibal’s favorite food ? - Raw Men

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How does a cannibal flirt? “ you’re a snacc”

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How did the cannibal die of COVID-19? Too many handshakes.

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What do you call a cannibal that works in a university? Hannibal Lecture

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A man bet another that a group of hippies couldn't get the meat down from a really high shelf without a ladder. The cannibal replied "I can't, the steaks are too high"

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Why did the cannibal bring his silverware to the comedy club? He heard there would be an open Mike.

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Why did the cannibal die of COVID-19? Too many handshakes

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Yesterday I attended a cannibal dinner where the food was cooked only on one side. It was quite a half-assed BBQ.

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Hey guys, I don't know how to cheer up my cannibal friend. He recently dumped his girlfriend.

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Two guys show up late to a cannibal breakfast All they get is the cold shoulder.

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How did the cannibal survive Coronavirus? By the skin on his teeth.

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A young cannibal chief noticed a beautiful young woman about to be placed in a burning kettle. "Wait!" He shouted to the chef, "I'll have my breakfast in bed."

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What does a cannibal sodium atoms love to eat ? Two-Na

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What did one cannibal say to the other? "Yesterday I dumped my girlfriend"

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What does the vegetarian cannibal eat? Disabled people.

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Why did the cannibal throw the disabled kid in a tub of hot water Coz vegetables taste better when they’re boiled

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I showed up late to a cannibal party. I got the cold shoulder.

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How did the cannibal win the cooking contest? A lot of blood, sweat, and tears

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How does a cannibal flavor his cooking? With Rose, Mary, and Sage

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Why did the cannibal chef rush to the Bryant helicopter crash scene? To get some fresh grass-fed Kobe beef.

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Why didn't the cannibal eat the guy with no legs ? Because he was lacktoes intolerant

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I'm a veganoterian. I'm a cannibal who only eats vegans.

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What does a cannibal do after eating a vegetable? Goes on eBay to see how much the wheelchair sells for.

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A cannibal walks into a bar and asks for two fingers AND scotch. Bartender says....wait what?

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A cannibal rudely came late to dinner So they gave him the cold shoulder.

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A cannibal on death row was asked what he would like as his last meal. Unsurprisingly, the answer was a handburger.

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What do you call a cannibal who only eats people that served in the military? A veteranarian.

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If a cannibal uses Uber eats He would get 2 deliveries at the same time.

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what do you call a cannibal who only eats disabled people a vegetarian

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What does an angry cannibal complain about? He's complaining about not eating Jack today.

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Dinner party at neighbor's house. Neighbor: hey just so you know I invited
Dan to the dinner party!

Me: cannibal Dan or Dan who can't
spell?

*phone chimes*

[Text from Dan] I can't wait to meat your
friend tonight!

Neighbor: yeah, I'm not sure.

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What does a cannibal eat to freshen his breath? Men toes

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Where does a cannibal go for it's breakfast? The nursery.

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A cannibal is on trial, and the judge asks him "What is your defence?" The cannibal responds by saying "You are what you eat."

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Why should you never trust a cannibal to make dinner? They'll put blood, sweat and tears into it.

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What did the wife tell her husband about Christmas dinner? "Honey, the children are ready to eat!"

What did the cannibal wife say to her cannibal husband?

"Honey, the children are ready to eat!"

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? He flushed the toilet.

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When a cannibal prepares to eat a nerd . . . He makes Dork Rinds

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Some explain this joke about the cannibal and the vegetable. what does a cannibal do after eating a vegetable?
He throws away the wheelchair

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What do you serve a cannibal who is late for dinner? A cold shoulder

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Why did the cannibal fly to Ireland? He wanted some McDonalds

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