"A cannibal once took my sister to see a Russell Crowe film"
"No, I really miss her"
A police officer was assigned to hunt a dangerous cannibal on his first day on the job All the more seasoned officers had already been eaten
I saw a cannibal at the nursing home the other day, he was walking around making fun of all the residents. I realized then that I actually had something in common with him. I too find vegetables to be tastier if I roast them first.
A cannibal in a courtroom
Representing himself, the cannibal was asked by the judge if he had anything to say.
"If the quote "You are what you eat" is true then I am an innocent man."
What does the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend
I heard this from my 11 year old cousin, the look on his mom's face after he told me this made my day.
Two clowns are eating a cannibal One turns to the other and says, "Wait. I think we are doing this wrong."
Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer.
Cannibal 1: "Does this taste funny to you?"
Cannibal 2: "Not at all, and there's plenty to go around!"
Two cannibals were eating Amy Schumer...
One cannibal says to the other one, "Does this taste funny to you?"
And the other one goes, "No."
A cannibal once took my sister to see a Russell Crowe movie?
“No, I really miss her.”
Two cannibals are eating a missionary starting at opposite ends.
One says to the other "This guy's ear is delicious! Are you enjoying eating him as much as I am?"
The other cannibal says "I'm having a ball."
Short and sweet cannibal joke Did you know cannibals don’t exist anymore... I ate the last one yesterday
Did you hear about the cannibal who showed up late to the luncheon? They gave him the cold shoulder.
Why did the cannibal only eat coma patients? The doctor said he needed more vegetables in his diet.
Just because a cannibal is late for dinner... ...Doesnt mean he only deserves a cold shoulder
Friend: A cannibal took my wife to see a Russell Crowe movie.
Friend: No, I really miss her.
Why did the cannibal bring his silverware to the comedy club? He heard there would be an open Mike.
Yesterday I attended a cannibal dinner where the food was cooked only on one side. It was quite a half-assed BBQ.
Hey guys, I don't know how to cheer up my cannibal friend. He recently dumped his girlfriend.
A young cannibal chief noticed a beautiful young woman about to be placed in a burning kettle. "Wait!" He shouted to the chef, "I'll have my breakfast in bed."
Why did the cannibal throw the disabled kid in a tub of hot water Coz vegetables taste better when they’re boiled
Why did the cannibal chef rush to the Bryant helicopter crash scene? To get some fresh grass-fed Kobe beef.
What does a cannibal do after eating a vegetable? Goes on eBay to see how much the wheelchair sells for.
A cannibal walks into a bar and asks for two fingers AND scotch. Bartender says....wait what?
A cannibal on death row was asked what he would like as his last meal. Unsurprisingly, the answer was a handburger.
Dinner party at neighbor's house.
Neighbor: hey just so you know I invited
Dan to the dinner party!
Me: cannibal Dan or Dan who can't
[Text from Dan] I can't wait to meat your
Neighbor: yeah, I'm not sure.
A cannibal is on trial, and the judge asks him "What is your defence?" The cannibal responds by saying "You are what you eat."