What did Sparticus do to the cannibal who ate his nagging wife? Nothing, he's gladiator.
What did Spartacus say to the cannibal who killed his wife. Nothing, he's Gladiator.
Me: “Did you invite Dan to the party?”
My friend: “Yeah.”
Me: “Cannibal Dan or Dan that can’t spell?”
*notification from my friends phone, it’s a text from Dan.* “I can’t wait to meat your friends tonight.
My friend: “I’m not sure”
Two clowns are eating a cannibal. One turns to the other and says: "I think we got this joke wrong".
"A cannibal once took my sister to see a Russell Crowe film"
"No, I really miss her"
What do you give a cannibal that shows up late to dinner? A cold shoulder.
Two clowns are eating a cannibal. The first clown says to the second "I think we're doing this joke wrong".
Why did the cannibal leave the restaurant? Because he got cold feet.
What did Spartacus say to the cannibal who ate his wife? Nothing, he's gladiator.
the cannibal said in his trial - “If I am what I eat..." "Then I'm an innocent man"
A cannibal showed up late to the luncheon His friends gave him the cold shoulder.
I was so late to the cannibal banquet They just gave me a cold shoulder
Two clowns are eating a cannibal. One turns to the other and says, "Um, I think we got this joke wrong."
A police officer was assigned to hunt a dangerous cannibal on his first day on the job All the more seasoned officers had already been eaten
I saw a cannibal at the nursing home the other day, he was walking around making fun of all the residents. I realized then that I actually had something in common with him. I too find vegetables to be tastier if I roast them first.
For a lion to become a cannibal He must first swallow his pride
What do you call a doctor who eats his vegetables? A cannibal.
How does a cannibal say hello? He offers you a handshake.
What's the first thing a cannibal does in the morning? Grab a cup of joe.
A cannibal in a courtroom
Representing himself, the cannibal was asked by the judge if he had anything to say.
"If the quote "You are what you eat" is true then I am an innocent man."
Two clowns are eating a cannibal... One turns to the other and says "Bob, I think we are telling this joke wrong..."
What happened when the cannibal was late for lunch? He was given the cold shoulder.
What is a Cannibal? Someone who is fed up with people.
The cannibal was late to dinner He was given the cold shoulder
What does the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend
I heard this from my 11 year old cousin, the look on his mom's face after he told me this made my day.
Two clowns are eating a cannibal One turns to the other and says, "Wait. I think we are doing this wrong."
Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer.
Cannibal 1: "Does this taste funny to you?"
Cannibal 2: "Not at all, and there's plenty to go around!"
What did the cannibal get when he was late to dinner? The cold shoulder
What happened when the cannibal was late to the dinner party? He got the cold shoulder.
A cannibal dumped his girlfriend. And then flushed.
Don't show up late for a cannibal's dinner party... You'll get the cold shoulder
What happens when a lion becomes a cannibal? He swallows his pride...
What did the cannibal say to 2 Mexicans? I thought I'd eat both of you but I only have room for Juan
What’s a cannibal’s favorite kind of noodle? Rawmen
I got invited to a cannibal's luncheon last week, but I showed up about 30 minutes late. They gave me the cold shoulder.
What happened to the cannibal who was late for dinner? He got the cold shoulder.
What do you call a cannibal that only eats coma patients? Vegetarian
What's the difference between a Japanese person and a cannibal? One eats Ramen, the other eats Raw Men
What happens to the cannibal when he's late for dinner? He gets the cold shoulder
What is a cannibal's favourite shake? Handshake
My neighbour showed up at my party last night.
Me: My friend Jack is coming as well btw
Them: The cannibal Jack or the Jack that can't spell?
Me \[checks my phone for Jack's text message: I can't wait to meat ur neighbours!\]: Yeah I'm not sure either.
What did the Cannibal Hysterectomy Surgeon have for dinner? Left Ovaries.
Do you know how cannibal calls athletes? Fast Food.
Its so frustrating being a cannibal I swear, sometime I just wanna throw up my hands.
What do you call a cannibal that eats himself ? A narcissist
Which part of his new job disappointed the cannibal? The human resources department
A suspected cannibal stood in front of a judge and was asked to give his final statement, to which he replied: "If you are what you eat, then I am an innocent man".
Why don’t cannibal Muslims eat Americans? Cause they can’t eat pork
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? Kinder Surprise
What did the cannibal couple take with them to the park? A picnic casket
What did the Roman say when a cannibal ate his ex-wife? Glad he ate her.
How does a tech savvy cannibal count his calories? In kill-o-bites.
What did the Japanese cannibal who's afraid of fire eat for dinner? Raw men.
A cannibal went walking in the forest... ... and he passed his neighbor.
What did the cannibal say when he met a fully armored knight? Argh... Canned food again?
What's an Asian cannibal's favorite food? Ramen
Two Clowns are eating a cannibal. One turns to the other and says "meh we are now what we eat."
there was once a frustrated cannibal. he threw up his arms.
So these 2 cannibals are eating dinner. One cannibal says, man I hate my mother-in-law. The other cannibal says, so eat the rice.
What did the cannibal say as he took his spouse's thigh out of the refrigerator? Today is the first day of the rest of my wife.
What do you give a cannibal that came to dinner too late because he was out drinking? The cold shoulder.
Two mimes are eating a cannibal clown One turns to the other and says
A cannibal boy tells his mother: "Mom, I don't like grandfather" "Then eat only the fries", replied the mom.
Why did the cannibal need laxatives? To help dump her boyfriend.
What seasoning does a widowed cannibal use? Old Bae
What is a cannibal's true test of trust? 69-ing
What life advice did the Jewish cannibal give to his friend? Keep your friends close, but your enemies kosher
Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer.
One says to the other "does this taste funny to you"
The other cannibal says "No".
"I enjoy a joint every now and then" "Usually a knee or an elbow" said the cannibal.
there's two cannibals in a tree a knight in armor comes around the first cannibal says to the other "dude canned food again?"
What is a cannibal's favourite TV Show? Graze Anatomy.
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One cannibal turns to the other and says "does this taste funny to you?".
I was talking to a cannibal He said he passed my brother in the forest the other day.
So these two clowns...
These two clowns are eating a cannibal.
One clown looks at the other and says:
"I think we messed this joke up somewhere along the line..."
What do you give a cannibal that is late to dinner? The cold shoulder
Two clowns are eating a cannibal.
One turns to the other and says, "I think we got this joke wrong".
What is a pregnant woman to a cannibal? Kinder Surprise.
A cannibal passed his brother in the woods
What's a cannibal's favorite dessert... Lady fingers
The cannibal A cannibal was handed the funurary urn of a relative: What is this, instant soup?
What does a cannibal order at a Chinese restaurant? Rawmen
What did the cannibal eat at the Chinese restaurant? Chow Man
Where did the cannibal dump his girlfriend? In the toilet
One day a cannibal's cellmate went missing, and he told the warden that he ate him.. The warden didn't believe him, so the cannibal finally threw up his hands out of frustration.
I think people think I'm a cannibal. Every now and then somebody will tell me "You are what you eat."
2 cannibals start eating at opposite ends of body...
Cannibal 1: "I'm having a ball."
Cannibal 2: "Boy you eat fast."
What did the frustrated cannibal do? Throw up his hands
An inspector arrives at murder scene of an obese man by a cannibal It was a lot to digest
What happened to the cannibal that turned up late? He got the cold shoulder!
A cannibal walks into a restaurant and tries to order The waitress tells him, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here."
What kind of instrument does a cannibal play? The organ
I saved my cannibal neighbor's daughter from drowning today. Her father was so grateful he gave me a hand shake. It had some chunks, but it was delicious.
What race does a cannibal like to eat most? Hebrews, because they're jewcy.
Did you hear about the viking cannibal? He had a Swede-tooth
A cannibal has eaten former president Clinton. He’s expected to pass a Bill in the house chamber shortly.
What was the cannibal's favorite part about the Vegetarian dish? The Vegetarian
A cannibal came late to the family dinner. He was given the cold shoulder.
What do you call a cannibal who only eats comatose people? A vegetarian.
Show me a cannibal who gets sick on missionary stew... ...and I'll show you that you can't keep a good man down!