Question Jokes

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Funniest Question Jokes

What has 4 letters, sometimes 9 letters, but never has 5 letters. Just a hint: I didn't ask a question.

Score: 28934

What do the testicles of a priest look like? Silly question, every child knows that.

Score: 11595

My girlfriend and I broke up today Her: "I just need time."

Me: "Okay. Yeah, I understand."

Her: "And distance, as well."

Me: "Fine. But can I ask you one last question?"

Her: "Go ahead."

Me: "What are you calculating the velocity of, anyway?"

Score: 7186

A teacher says to her class "whoever answers my next question can go home." One boy at the back of the class throws his bag out the window.

"Who just threw that? Demands the teacher.

"Me" replied the boy. "And I'm going home."

Score: 4668

Interviewer: What's your greatest weakness? Me: Answering the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics

Interviewer: Could you give me an example?

Me: Yes I could

Score: 2104
Funny Question Jokes
Score: 2019

How Long is a Chinese name. It's not a question.

Score: 1961

TIL Calaway's Law states that "the best way to get the right answer on the Internet is not to ask a question, it's to post the wrong answer." Now we wait.

Score: 1761

On the perfect date, what question do you ask a girl twice? So... Can I come inside?

Score: 1295

Not too sure I got the job.... Interview I had for a job:
"What's your greatest weakness?"
"Interpreting semantics of a question,
but ignoring the pragmatics."
"Could you give an example?"
"Yes, I could."

Score: 911

I went to a Halloween party dressed as a chicken. Met a girl dressed as an egg. A question as old as time was answered The chicken

Score: 861

School joke Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home.
One boy throws his bag out the window.
Teacher: Who just threw that?!
Boy: Me! I’m going home now.

Score: 853

Whoever answers my next question, can go home. Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home.

\*One boy throws his bag out the window.\*

Teacher: Who just threw that?

Boy: Me and I’m going home now.

Score: 793

Don’t you hate it when people ask you a question just so they can answer it themselves? Because I do

Score: 754

Quick question... How much of this "No More Tears" shampoo do I have to feed this baby to get it to stop crying?

Score: 693

Teacher asks a question Teacher: "whoever answers my next question can go home"

Jimmy throws his bag out the window

Teacher: "who just threw that?"

Jimmy: "that was me"

Score: 648

Went out last night dressed as a chicken and got with a girl dressed as an egg A life long question was answered. It was the chicken

Score: 540

Prostate Exam After my recent Prostate Exam - one of the most thorough examinations I've ever had –
the Doctor left the room and the nurse came in.
After she shut the door, she asked me a question I didn't want to hear....

She said...."Who was that guy?"

Score: 501

Quick question How much no more tears shampoo do you have to rub in a baby's eyes before it stops crying?

Score: 494

Man it's nuts today, I've killed over a dozen zombies and I have one question: Why were they all holding bags of candy?

Score: 398

How many protestors do you need to change a lightbulb? Trick question. Protestors don't change anything.

Score: 347

I failed my biology test today. Apparently, "black guys" isn't the answer to the question "What is found in cells."

Score: 340

Is it possible to stop a grenade from exploding by putting the pin back in? I need a quick answer to this question

Score: 322

Punctuality.... A company owner was asked a question, "How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?"

He smiled & replied, "It's simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces. One is paid parking."

Score: 270

Before going to bed, a little child asks his dad a question. "Daddy? Do all fairy tales begin with 'once upon a time'"?

The dad responds, saying "No, there are a whole series of fairy tales that begin with 'If elected, I promise...'"

Score: 239

At a job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?" Interviewer: What's your greatest weakness?

Me: Answering the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics.

Interviewer: Could you give me an example?

Me: Yes, yes I could.

Score: 238

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question, feminists can't change anything.

Score: 230

My parents found an S&M magazine under my brother's bed... My dad said, "Well, spanking him is out of the question."

Score: 221

I went out dressed as a chicken last night. and I met a girl who was dressed as an egg. One thing led to another and a lifelong question was answered; it was the chicken.

Score: 217

Last night I went to a costume party dressed as a chicken and met a woman dressed as an egg. One thing led to another ... and a lifelong question was answered.

Score: 196

Boy and girl in class asked the teacher a question. "Can kids of our age have kids?"

Teacher replied " NO Never!!"

Boy said to girl :

"See I told you not to worry!!!!"

Score: 86

A wife begins to question the faith of her husband. Wife: "Am I pretty or ugly?"

Husband: "You're Both."

Wife: "What do you mean?"

Husband: "You're pretty ugly."

Score: 24

A programmer gets home one day... ...and finds his wife crying. "Ever since we got married you've avoided this question. Now I want an answer: Do you really love me or did you just marry me so you won't be alone?"

So he replies: "Yes".

Score: 22

Mike goes to a law consultant. He asks: So how much do you charge per question?

Consultant: 150€.

Mike: Isn't it too expensive?

Consultant: Yes it is. So whats your third question?.

Score: 11

Teacher: Whoever answers my next question can go home One boy throws his bag out the window.
Teacher: who just threw that?!
Boy: Me! I’m going home now.

Score: 9

How much protestor does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question, they don’t change anything

Score: 5

Pee is like your future Except clearer, and there's less question it's going down the drain.

Score: 5

I walked up to the register at the ball park with a question. If it’s NAH- CHO cheese, then whose is it?

Score: 5

Shakespeare was planning on making Hamlet into a musical, but there was one instrument he was undecided on Tuba, or not tuba, that is the question.

Score: 5

A man goes to see a lawyer... And asks "Hire much do you charge?"

The lawyer replies "$250 for three questions."

The man says, "Gosh! Isn't that expensive?"

The lawyer replies "Yes it is. Now, what's your third question?"

Score: 5

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New Question Jokes

Dak Prescott should've been in the nba Noone will question his ability to break ankles.

Score: 1

Son to his Dad after loosing virginity. Son: Dad! I just lost my virginity.
Dad: Grand Son we should celebrate.

( 2 hrs after heavy partying)

Son: I just have one question dad.
Dad: Yeahhh! What's that.
Son:For how long is it gonna pain in my Arsehole...........?

Score: 0

I have a question for blind people: How are you reading this?

Score: 2

I asked my mom who her favorite child is She said could never answer a question like that but the dog was second.

Score: 0

What do you call a riddle told by a prostitute? A trick question

Score: 1

Physicists on Valentine’s Day Husband: Hey baby I got a question for you

Wife: What’s that?

Husband: Will you torque on me this Valentine’s day?

Score: 0

My friends and I were putting together a musical score for a production of Hamlet Tuba or no tuba, that was the question

Score: 0

That owl asked the introspect question evee Who are you??

Score: 0

I went up to my Spanish teacher to ask him a question today. "Mr. Sylvando, does "Más o menos" mean kind of and something else?"

To which he replied:

"Yes, pretty much."

Score: 1

Two guys were sitting in a library One guy tells the other,"Hey bro, can you pass me the biology book?". Hearing this, the librarian hushed him and said,"Be silent!". Hearing this, this guy repeats the question,"Hey ro, can you pass me the iology ook?".

Score: 2

How can you tell the gender of a jalapeño? That's a trick question; they're all male. A female of the species is called "jalapeña."

Score: 2

The first question in my english exam was what sports is the most popular in America "School shooting" sadly didn't count.

Score: 1

Which question does Sherlock Holmes ask when he is bored? Watson TV?

Score: 4

I asked my girlfriend if I was the only one she slept with Yes of course... why do men keep asking the same question

Score: 2

Whenever I meet someone and they ask what my kids name is, I think “what a personal question” I just met you and already you want the password to literally every one of my accounts

Score: 1

A Group Of Navy Men Hit The Town! A group of Navy men go to this nightclub to party but the bouncer doesn't allow them in, they question this and the bouncer replies "I'm sorry but out business has strict rules against clubbing seals"

Score: 2

What do you call the last answer on your Rabbi's trivia night? The Final Solution to the Jewish Question

Score: 2

What do feminists change with a light bulb? Trick question feminists can't change anything

Score: 2

How many protesters does it take to change the lightbulb? Its a trick question, protestors don’t change anything

Score: 1

Shakespeare going to the doctor in the 20th century “TB, or not TB, that is the question”

Score: 1

How do blonde jokes end? Trick question... they never do.

Score: 1

I got a chance to ask Sarah Jessica Parker a question during a meet and greet, but it seemed like she didn't want to be there and looked sad so I asked her... Why the long face?

Score: 1

I watched Avengers: Infinity War this weekend. It was definitely a good movie, but one question was left unanswered, and it keeps me up at night. I'll never be able to figure out why is Gamora.

Score: 4

A chicken and an egg were in bed together. The chicken was smoking a cigarette and the egg looked frustrated. I guess that answers that question.

Score: 3

What did Darth Vader say to The Question? "I find your lack of face disturbing."

Score: 2

My 7 y/o pal told me this. What does the hamburger say when you ask it a question?

Zero.

Because hamburgers are round, like a zero.

Score: 2

Question - Why did Hitler kill his wife? Answer - She liked jewellery too much.

Score: 1

After spending a while with a girl, I eventually asked the question. "So, where do we go from here?" She said, "You tell me. You're the taxi driver."

Score: 2

A stoner walks into the house and asks his mother a question Him: Mom why do you always accuse me of being stoned?

Mom: I'm your Dad you idiot

Score: 1

A man asked Jeb Bush a question... and Jeb couldn't give him a good answer. The next day he asked George Bush the same question and he was able to answer it just fine. I guess you could say he was... beating around the wrong Bush?

Score: 2

A boy asks his mother a question Boy: "Mom, why's my cousin named Jasmine?"

Mom: "That's because your aunt likes flowers."

Boy: "Mom, what do you like?"

Mom: "Oh, be quiet Richard"

Score: 2

x-post from /r/philosiphy: "why do we laugh?" - Because it's all an inside joke, and you have to start thinking INSIDE THE BOX. Why did the chicken cross the road?

Let me just ask the question...

"How does a chicken know what a road is?"

/r/discuss

Score: 0

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