Question Jokes

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Funniest Question Jokes

What has 4 letters, sometimes 9 letters, but never has 5 letters. Just a hint: I didn't ask a question.

Score: 28934

What do the testicles of a priest look like? Silly question, every child knows that.

Score: 11595

My girlfriend and I broke up today Her: "I just need time."

Me: "Okay. Yeah, I understand."

Her: "And distance, as well."

Me: "Fine. But can I ask you one last question?"

Her: "Go ahead."

Me: "What are you calculating the velocity of, anyway?"

Score: 7186

A teacher says to her class "whoever answers my next question can go home." One boy at the back of the class throws his bag out the window.

"Who just threw that? Demands the teacher.

"Me" replied the boy. "And I'm going home."

Score: 4668

Interviewer: What's your greatest weakness? Me: Answering the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics

Interviewer: Could you give me an example?

Me: Yes I could

Score: 2104
Funny Question Jokes
Score: 2019

How Long is a Chinese name. It's not a question.

Score: 1961

TIL Calaway's Law states that "the best way to get the right answer on the Internet is not to ask a question, it's to post the wrong answer." Now we wait.

Score: 1761

On the perfect date, what question do you ask a girl twice? So... Can I come inside?

Score: 1295

Not too sure I got the job.... Interview I had for a job:
"What's your greatest weakness?"
"Interpreting semantics of a question,
but ignoring the pragmatics."
"Could you give an example?"
"Yes, I could."

Score: 911

I went to a Halloween party dressed as a chicken. Met a girl dressed as an egg. A question as old as time was answered The chicken

Score: 861

School joke Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home.
One boy throws his bag out the window.
Teacher: Who just threw that?!
Boy: Me! I’m going home now.

Score: 853

Whoever answers my next question, can go home. Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home.

\*One boy throws his bag out the window.\*

Teacher: Who just threw that?

Boy: Me and I’m going home now.

Score: 793

Don’t you hate it when people ask you a question just so they can answer it themselves? Because I do

Score: 754

Quick question... How much of this "No More Tears" shampoo do I have to feed this baby to get it to stop crying?

Score: 693

Teacher asks a question Teacher: "whoever answers my next question can go home"

Jimmy throws his bag out the window

Teacher: "who just threw that?"

Jimmy: "that was me"

Score: 648

Went out last night dressed as a chicken and got with a girl dressed as an egg A life long question was answered. It was the chicken

Score: 540

Prostate Exam After my recent Prostate Exam - one of the most thorough examinations I've ever had –
the Doctor left the room and the nurse came in.
After she shut the door, she asked me a question I didn't want to hear....

She said...."Who was that guy?"

Score: 501

Quick question How much no more tears shampoo do you have to rub in a baby's eyes before it stops crying?

Score: 494

Man it's nuts today, I've killed over a dozen zombies and I have one question: Why were they all holding bags of candy?

Score: 398

How many protestors do you need to change a lightbulb? Trick question. Protestors don't change anything.

Score: 347

I failed my biology test today. Apparently, "black guys" isn't the answer to the question "What is found in cells."

Score: 340

Is it possible to stop a grenade from exploding by putting the pin back in? I need a quick answer to this question

Score: 322

Punctuality.... A company owner was asked a question, "How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?"

He smiled & replied, "It's simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces. One is paid parking."

Score: 270

Before going to bed, a little child asks his dad a question. "Daddy? Do all fairy tales begin with 'once upon a time'"?

The dad responds, saying "No, there are a whole series of fairy tales that begin with 'If elected, I promise...'"

Score: 239

At a job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?" Interviewer: What's your greatest weakness?

Me: Answering the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics.

Interviewer: Could you give me an example?

Me: Yes, yes I could.

Score: 238

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question, feminists can't change anything.

Score: 230

My parents found an S&M magazine under my brother's bed... My dad said, "Well, spanking him is out of the question."

Score: 221

I went out dressed as a chicken last night. and I met a girl who was dressed as an egg. One thing led to another and a lifelong question was answered; it was the chicken.

Score: 217

Last night I went to a costume party dressed as a chicken and met a woman dressed as an egg. One thing led to another ... and a lifelong question was answered.

Score: 196

A science graduate asks the question why? A science graduate asks the question why?

An engineering graduate asks the question how?

An arts graduate asks, "Would you like fries with that?"

Score: 137

The teacher tells the class: 'Whoever gets the next question right, can go home early.' Benjamin throws his pencil to the front of the class. Teacher picks it up and asks: 'Who was that?'
Benjamin: 'Me, good day.'

Score: 33

A wife begins to question the faith of her husband. Wife: "Am I pretty or ugly?"

Husband: "You're Both."

Wife: "What do you mean?"

Husband: "You're pretty ugly."

Score: 24

A programmer gets home one day... ...and finds his wife crying. "Ever since we got married you've avoided this question. Now I want an answer: Do you really love me or did you just marry me so you won't be alone?"

So he replies: "Yes".

Score: 22

Mike goes to a law consultant. He asks: So how much do you charge per question?

Consultant: 150€.

Mike: Isn't it too expensive?

Consultant: Yes it is. So whats your third question?.

Score: 11

Spouses are a lot like FBI agents They won’t ask you a question that they do not already know the answer to.

Score: 8

Online clases are like watching Dora the Explorer Online clases are like watching Dora the Explorer. The teacher asks a question, there’s a moment of silence, and then he answers himself.

Score: 8

Similarity between beggars and software engineers When two beggars meet each other and two software engineers meet each other after a long time,
the question asked is the same .

On which platform are you working these days?

Score: 6

How much protestor does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question, they don’t change anything

Score: 5

Pee is like your future Except clearer, and there's less question it's going down the drain.

Score: 5

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New Question Jokes

Thought of thos one while dragging a large branch. What do plants y when they don't know the answer to a question?

...Nothing, they just shrub....

Haha :)<3 Please share. :)

Score: 1

Son to his Dad after loosing virginity. Son: Dad! I just lost my virginity.
Dad: Grand Son we should celebrate.

( 2 hrs after heavy partying)

Son: I just have one question dad.
Dad: Yeahhh! What's that.
Son:For how long is it gonna pain in my Arsehole...........?

Score: 0

I was today years old when i found out bedbugs actually live in beds I always thought it was just a name like ladybug. It does leave me with one question though, where do cockroaches live?

Score: 4

I have a question for blind people: How are you reading this?

Score: 2

What do you call a riddle told by a prostitute? A trick question

Score: 1

That owl asked the introspect question evee Who are you??

Score: 0

I went up to my Spanish teacher to ask him a question today. "Mr. Sylvando, does "Más o menos" mean kind of and something else?"

To which he replied:

"Yes, pretty much."

Score: 1

Two guys were sitting in a library One guy tells the other,"Hey bro, can you pass me the biology book?". Hearing this, the librarian hushed him and said,"Be silent!". Hearing this, this guy repeats the question,"Hey ro, can you pass me the iology ook?".

Score: 2

I was in the shop looking for a new pencil for English class 2B or not 2B, that is the question

Score: 1

How can you tell the gender of a jalapeño? That's a trick question; they're all male. A female of the species is called "jalapeña."

Score: 2

The first question in my english exam was what sports is the most popular in America "School shooting" sadly didn't count.

Score: 1

I asked my girlfriend if I was the only one she slept with Yes of course... why do men keep asking the same question

Score: 2

What do you call the last answer on your Rabbi's trivia night? The Final Solution to the Jewish Question

Score: 2

What do feminists change with a light bulb? Trick question feminists can't change anything

Score: 2

I walked up to the register at the ball park with a question. If it’s NAH- CHO cheese, then whose is it?

Score: 5

How many protesters does it take to change the lightbulb? Its a trick question, protestors don’t change anything

Score: 1

Google is like a girlfriend because.... It won’t let you complete the whole sentence and start guessing, and you ask only one question…..

but get hundreds of irrelevant answers in seconds.

Score: 2

There was a really fast runner who was admitted to an asylum. He did his time and was released as a "rehabilitated man".

The day he was discharged his father came to pick him up.
His father approached him and asked one question :- "So...Usain?"

Score: 3

How do blonde jokes end? Trick question... they never do.

Score: 1

I watched Avengers: Infinity War this weekend. It was definitely a good movie, but one question was left unanswered, and it keeps me up at night. I'll never be able to figure out why is Gamora.

Score: 4

A chicken and an egg were in bed together. The chicken was smoking a cigarette and the egg looked frustrated. I guess that answers that question.

Score: 3

My 7 y/o pal told me this. What does the hamburger say when you ask it a question?

Zero.

Because hamburgers are round, like a zero.

Score: 2

You know your trivia game is too old when there's a question about what was most searched for ... on Lycos.

Score: 3

Question - Why did Hitler kill his wife? Answer - She liked jewellery too much.

Score: 1

After spending a while with a girl, I eventually asked the question. "So, where do we go from here?" She said, "You tell me. You're the taxi driver."

Score: 2

A stoner walks into the house and asks his mother a question Him: Mom why do you always accuse me of being stoned?

Mom: I'm your Dad you idiot

Score: 1

Went out last night dressed as a Chicken and got with a girl dressed as an Egg. A lifelong question had been answered. It was the Chicken

Score: 2

x-post from /r/philosiphy: "why do we laugh?" - Because it's all an inside joke, and you have to start thinking INSIDE THE BOX. Why did the chicken cross the road?

Let me just ask the question...

"How does a chicken know what a road is?"

/r/discuss

Score: 0

Quick question to all the trans-people out there. If a trans-person has a child, does it make them trans-parent?

Score: 3

Why was the black man arrested? Good question.

Score: 2

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