Space Jokes

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Funniest Space Jokes

Funny Space Jokes
Score: 18857

If Britain leaves the EU, how much space will be freed up? 1GB

Score: 15186

If Elon Musk's space company establishes a Mars colony, and you have a girlfriend on mars, but later break up because of long distance, she'd be your.... Space x.

Score: 14878

How much space will Brexit free up in the EU? 1GB

Score: 4401

When you're trying to slingshot around Jupiter but you run out of fuel and end up on a collision course with one of Jupiter's moons... Europa creek with no paddle.

I hope someone smiles at this dumb space joke.

Score: 2947

Canada's starting a space program to send a spaceship to the moon They're calling the spaceship Apollo-G.

Score: 2318

I have the body of a 25 year old supermodel But it takes up too much space in my freezer

Score: 1379

Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory At first I just wasn’t putting in enough shifts, then I couldn’t keep the space clean and finally I lost control

Score: 1253

Astronaut 1: "I can't find any milk for my coffee." Astronaut:"In space no one can. Here, use cream.

Score: 910

Yoda and Obi Wan in a space ship Obi wan asks: "are we going the right way?"

Yoda answers: "off course, we are"

Score: 737

"Orion's Belt is a big waist of space " Terrible jokes. Only 3 stars

Score: 470

My favourite Haiku Space is limited
In a haiku, so it's hard
To finish what you

Score: 396

I went to the National Air and Space Museum in DC... There was a lot more stuff in there than I'd expected

Score: 356

I have the body of a 25 year supermodel... but it takes too much space in my freezer.

Score: 355

How much free space does the EU have since Great Britain left? 1 GB

Score: 345

I just went to the Air & Space museum. Man do I feel ripped off. It was just an empty room.

Score: 341

Why is girlfriend one word and best friend two words? Because the best friend gives you space when you need it

Score: 307

What do you call a Mexican space chicken? Apollo.

Score: 249

My girlfriend found one of my puns so funny that she flew into space and told it to an alien. Unfortunately, the alien didn't laugh. Personally, I think she took the joke a bit too far.

Score: 248

How much space will there be in the EU after Brexit? 1 GB

Score: 237

I just went to the Air & Space museum. Boy do I feel ripped off. It was just an empty room.

Score: 230

The difference between "Girlfriend" and "Girl Friend"… …is that little space in between we call the "Friend Zone".

Score: 189

I have the body of a 25 year old Supermodel But it takes up to much space in my freezer

Score: 179

I'm thinking of donating my body to science It's taking up too much space in the freezer.

Score: 171

Why do space rocks taste better than Earth rocks? Because they're a little meteor

Score: 156

Customer: I want cargo space Me: Car no do that. Car no fly
Manager: See me in my office

Score: 149

How do you calm down an astronaut? Give him some space

Score: 146

My wife left me to become an astronaut... she needed Space

Score: 129

Some girl texted me the space button on her phone is broke She texted "thespacebuttononmyphoneisbrokencanyoupleasegivemeanalternative" Can someone please tell me what ternative means.

Score: 124

How much space do you need for a fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible.

Score: 123

Proof of God Every atheist becomes a theist if you give them a little space

Score: 121

If the UK decides to leave the EU how much space will be freed up? About 1 GB

Score: 100

The Trump administration is like the International Space Station They're in constant free fall, and they needed Russia's help to get there

Score: 99

When Brexit happens, how much space will the EU lose? Exactly 1GB

Score: 93

Orion's belt is useless, its just a Big waist of space

Score: 93

What do you do when you see a space man? Park the car, man.

Score: 89

What’s Joe Biden’s favorite arcade game? Space Invaders

Score: 86

You're living, you occupy space and you have mass. Do you know what that means? You matter.

Score: 85

What do you do when you see a space man? Park your car, man.

Score: 84

Inspired by a church sign that read “Tell someone that they matter” I pulled my daughter aside and said to her in my most sincere voice: “Unlike energy, you occupy space and possess rest mass.”

Score: 79

Did you hear about the Mexican space program? They’re sending chickens to the moon for the first time ever, they’re calling it A-pollo 11

Score: 78

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New Space Jokes

If you’re ever ever hiking in the woods and get lost, just look up and find the brightest star in the sky. The you’ll know which way space is.

Score: 4

The space bar is a scam ! The space bar is a scam, I pressed it and order a whiskey but nothing came through.

Score: 4

An ISS astronaut says to his colleague, "I can't find any milk for my coffee." His friend replies, "In space no one can. Here, use cream."

Score: 6

What game should you not play when social distancing? Space invaders

Score: 4

How do space cowboys wrangle their cattle? A tractor beam

Score: 3

How did the Space Teddy Bear cross the road? Ewoked.

Score: 3

David Bowie said he was stoned when watching 2001: A Space Odyssey, which inspired his hit song Space Oddity. How high was he though? Far above the moon.

Score: 3

This joke is out of this world. Astronaut 1 : Hi mate, I can't find any milk for my coffee
Astronaut 2 : In space , no one can. Here, use cream.

Score: 13

I punched a hole in my office wall today. Don't understand why everyone else at the international space station is freaking out.

Score: 2

My wife and I are both physicists. We often disagree about space and time. In her view, the socks should not be on the floor space and I should move them NOW.

Score: 3

Three women walk into a space bar That one is my mom say hi to my mom hi mom

Score: 3

There's not enough shelf space for this. Chappelle's
Enlightenment Beer

with weed flavoring.

Score: 1

What has mass and occupies space a fat Catholic

Score: 3

What do you call angry planets? Negative Space

Score: 2

Why did the American cop go to space? Cuz he found out that space is mostly made of dark matter.

Score: 2

All lives matter Because we have mass and take up space

Score: 11

Alexa, tell me a " yo momma" joke. Me: Alexa, tell me a " yo momma" joke.

Alexa: Unfortanately I do not have enough space to store a "yo momma" joke

Me:awww



Alexa:Because your momma takes up all of it...

Score: 20

My girlfriend is weird. Sometimes she wants my time, then sometimes suddenly she wants her space We don't seem to have established a functional continuum

Score: 38

How much space would a single, fun guy need for his new apartment? mushroom!

Score: 3

Black life matter cuz.. they occupy space and have weight

Score: 2

What's the most beautiful place on earth? The space

Score: 1

What’s the difference between outer space and a Palestinian child? Less rockets were launched into space.

Score: 4

Potatoes in space So Russia decided to launch a satellite full of potatoes into orbit to see what would happen.
Apparently it’s called the SPUNDnic

Score: 9

Girl you tryna be a universe? Cause all you need is space and time

Score: 3

Where do people go to get drinks in cyber space? A space bar

Score: 5

One Astronaut says to another “I can’t find any milk for my coffee”

To which the other replies “In space no one can, here use cream”

Score: 11

Good News: you have no more Pimples! Bad News: Because no more space

Score: 2

Perspective The optimist says "The glass is half full."

The pessimist says "The glass is half empty."

The engineer says "The vessel contains twice the required space for the volume present."

Score: 24

so the astronaut Chirstina Kush returned to earth... After being enclousured 328 days in space now she will be free to... be enclousured in his house. thanks covid 19.

Score: 2

In space you don’t have hemroids... you have assteroids.

Score: 33

Why do astronauts always sit one chair apart from eachother when drinking alcohol? Because they're at a space bar.

Score: 3

What does a space dog do on internet? He Laikas

Score: 1

What do you call a black person in space An astronaut, obviously

Score: 9

On Earth we get hemorrhoids... In space they get assteroids.

Score: 7

This pandemic has exposed how unrealistic the movie The Martian is. Not because of the space travel to Mars, but there is no way the US government would spend so much money and gather the resources to save just one life.

Score: 2

She said she needs some space I Gave Her 1 TB SSD

Score: 5

How do you organize a space party? You plan it.

Score: 3

Hey, have you been playing Space Invaders lately? 'cause your invading my space.

Score: 1

Holy Sith dude. All that radiation from space travel gave Luke and Leia cancer. Legend has it they were diagnosed with Lukemia and Leiomyosarcoma.

Score: 2

How do you cure a Seattlite of COVID-19? Space and Needles

Score: 3

The Man In Black was talking to an Alien in a coffee shop. He asks, "what kind of currency does Space use?"
The Alien points to the cup of coffee and said, "Starbucks"

Score: 4

Why will space be a popular tourist spot? The view is breathtaking and will leave you speechless

Only science geeks will understand

Score: 4

So I decided to join the space force today... I immediately got promoted because I have apparently been a space cadet for most of my life.

Score: 2

A good conversation is like a space agency I always wanted to start one

Score: 2

I heard that social distancing is important now *So

I'm

adding

extra

space

after

each

word

I

type

now


on


social



media

Score: 3

An astronaut scheduled for a launch to the space station thought the world was starting to get too chaotic, so he brought a computer keyboard with him on his trip Now everything is back under control.

^^^^^I'm ^^^^^sorry.

Score: 4

I hear NASA has a plan to send everyone with covid 19 into space They're calling it a corona mass ejection

Score: 3

Why is there no sign of empty shelves in big cities discounters right now? Because the average apartment doesn't have enough space for 300 rolls of toilet paper.

Score: 1

A man typed "wemen are the best" in a feminist group chat One female said: thanks but it is spelled with "o" not "e" after the "w"

The man said: sorry i forgot to press space after the "we"

Score: 4

My buddy told me to quit my job at the keyboard factory and become an astronaut That way I can visit the Space Bar

Score: 2

What do you call the international program that helps clowns with their personal space problems? Clowns Without Borders.

Score: 1

Who can go from hero to zero in a short space of time? Therapist, the\_rapist.

Score: 2

How does the Russian space program keep things tied together? With Cosmonauts!

Score: 1

the difference between therapist and the rapist? a space

Score: 1

How much free space is there in Europe after Brexit? 1GB

Score: 1

How much space will brexit free up after leaving the European Union? 1 GB

Score: 1

when she tells you to give her some space ​

​

Like, ok girl

​

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Score: 4

Apparently Brexit has also enabled the British to increase the space on their computers... . Officials say that they’ve now got a free GB!

Score: 2

Turkey can now finally join the EU Why? Well because now that the UK has left, there's 1 GB of free space

Score: 13

I was talking to a coworker about a project I was working on at home. I didn’t have enough space so I told her I wish I could turn 4 inches into 8 She said she wishes her husband could too

Score: 5

How much space will Brexit free up in the European Union? 1 GB

Score: 4

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