Hilarious Space Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Space Jokes

Score: 18857

Today one of my friends told me I often make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space. It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say and it completely ruined our bath.

Score: 15123

An old Ukrainian is cleaning his hunting rifle one day when his grandson runs in "Grandfather, the radio says that the Russians have gone into space!"

"All of them?" he asks, putting down his rifle.

"No, only one."

He starts cleaning the rifle again.

Score: 13236

My first day as a car salesman... Customer: Cargo space?
Me: Car no do that. Car no fly.
Manager: Can I see you in my office?

Score: 6350

How much space will Brexit free up in the EU? 1GB

Score: 4401

When you're trying to slingshot around Jupiter but you run out of fuel and end up on a collision course with one of Jupiter's moons... Europa creek with no paddle.

I hope someone smiles at this dumb space joke.

Score: 2947

Canada's starting a space program to send a spaceship to the moon They're calling the spaceship Apollo-G.

Score: 2318

I have the body of a 25 year old supermodel But it takes up too much space in my freezer

Score: 1379

With the UK leaving the EU, the union has some free space. Exactly 1GB

Score: 1357

Orion's Belt is a waist of space. Bad pun, I know. 3 stars at best.

Score: 1212

My friend told me I make him feel uncomfortable because I violate his personal space... It was a very hurtful thing to say and completely ruined our bath.

Score: 970

"Orion's belt is a terrible waist of space". Terrible joke. Only 3 stars.

Score: 944

[first day as a car salesman] Customer: Cargo space?

Me: Car no do that. Car no fly.

Manager: Can I see you in my office?

Score: 922

Astronaut 1: "I can't find any milk for my coffee." Astronaut:"In space no one can. Here, use cream.

Score: 910

Astronaut 1: hey I can't find any milk for my coffee Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.

Score: 791

Orion’s Belt is a big waist of space! Terrible joke.

Only three stars.

Score: 752

Yoda and Obi Wan in a space ship Obi wan asks: "are we going the right way?"

Yoda answers: "off course, we are"

Score: 737

Parking a single car doesn’t require much space. But parking 200 cars, now that requires a lot.

Score: 727

Why are Astronauts always so calm? There's no pressure in space.

Score: 668

I hate breakups. Especially when they try to let you down gently.
"It's not you, it's me" "I just need some space" "We can still be cousins".

Score: 645

Orion's Belt is a big waist of space. Terrible joke. Only 3 stars.

Score: 498

"Orion's Belt is a big waist of space " Terrible jokes. Only 3 stars

Score: 470

My first day as car salesman Customer: Cargo space?

Me: Car no do that. Car no fly.

Manager: Can I see you in my office?

Score: 468

What do you call currency in space? Starbucks.

Score: 462

My favourite Haiku Space is limited
In a haiku, so it's hard
To finish what you

Score: 396

I went to the National Air and Space Museum in DC... There was a lot more stuff in there than I'd expected

Score: 356

I have the body of a 25 year supermodel... but it takes too much space in my freezer.

Score: 355

How much free space does the EU have since Great Britain left? 1 GB

Score: 345

I just went to the Air & Space museum. Man do I feel ripped off. It was just an empty room.

Score: 341

Why is girlfriend one word and best friend two words? Because the best friend gives you space when you need it

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My girlfriend found one of my puns so funny that she flew into space and told it to an alien. Unfortunately, the alien didn't laugh. Personally, I think she took the joke a bit too far.

Score: 248

The difference between "Girlfriend" and "Girl Friend"… …is that little space in between we call the "Friend Zone".

Score: 189

I have the body of a 25 year old Supermodel But it takes up to much space in my freezer

Score: 179

Why do space rocks taste better than Earth rocks? Because they're a little meteor

Score: 156

Why are dogs afraid of outer space? Because it's a vacuum.

Score: 130

My wife left me to become an astronaut... she needed Space

Score: 129

One of my buddies... One of my buddies told me that I often make people feel uncomfortable by violating their personal space.

It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say and completely ruined our bath.

Score: 129

How much space do you need for a fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible.

Score: 123

In space, every book is a good book You simply can't put it down.

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Stephen Hawking has finally released his new book about space. It's about time, too.

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New Space Jokes

Why do people on the iss use linux You can't open windows in space

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Why do astronauts get drunk when writing an email? Because they keep hitting the space bar.

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I thought I had a good joke about space but... I needed more time to planet.

Score: 38

What did the vegans say when they were captured and put into a small space? Kelp! Lettuce leaf! There isn’t mushroom in here...

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Yesterday my friend told me I “ often make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space. It was an incredibly hurtful to say and it completely ruined our bath.

Score: 40

I’m working with Space X on a program to send Flat Earthers into space to help them prove earth is flat. But not on bringing them back.

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How nuch space will be left in the EU after bexit? 1 GB

Score: 8

What's the difference between a Rap Artist and R Kelly? The space and "art"

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It took 26 years for Einstein to develop a theory about space. It was about time, too.

Score: 56

Why did Kevin Spacey go to space? To molest young stars.

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What did the Russians receive when they lost the space race? A constellation prize

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One of my friends told me that I often make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space... It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say and completely ruined our bath.

Score: 16

The Amish Space Program is at a stalemate Jebediah and the boys just cannot figure out how to get the horses to go vertical.

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Why did Jim buy his friend a space heater? It was a housewarming gift!

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First women in space. "Houston, we have a problem."
"What?"
"Nevermind."
"Whats the problem?"
"Nothing."
"Please tell us."
"I'm fine."

Score: 41

Why do Astronauts go into space? Because some men just wanna watch the world turn.

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What do you call a janitor in space? A vacuum cleaner

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I took my son to the space museum last weekend. They charged us $5.50 to stand in an empty warehouse.

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What is a drunk alien's favourite key? The space bar.

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My wife told me she needs more space. I said no problem and locked her out of
the house.

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Astronauts release a photo of Hurricane Harvey... Astronauts released a photo of Hurricane Harvey as seen from the the International Space Station. They sent a short message along with the photograph; "Houston, you have a problem."

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What do a bag of Lay's potato chips and the Milky Way have in common? They're both mostly empty space.

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What did the crew of the International Space Station say to Mission Control? Houston, you have a problem.

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What do you call a tangled rope in space? Astro-knot.

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I went to a space museum today but was a bit disappointed... It was completely empty! Well, except for the black hole on display, but it sucked.

Score: 23

The best restaurant in space has great food but no atmosphere.

Score: 9

In Heaven, computers don't need a lot of space. It's all stored on the cloud.

Score: 5

If I recall correctly, in the mid 1900s, Albert Einstein proposed a new theory on space, and it was about time, too.

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What type of currency do people use in space? Starbucks.

Score: 32

Hitler would be a bad genie. Because despite having unlimited power, he can't handle itty bitty living space.

Score: 6

I can tell you a space joke. But the real joke is in the comets.

Score: 6

How can you ensure you visit outer space someday? Planet.

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What's the difference between illegal aliens and space aliens? Occasionally, space aliens will go back to where they came from.

Score: 11

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

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I am the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of every end, And the end of every place. What am I? The letter 'e'.

Score: 39

What type of currency they use in outer space? Star Bucks

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An atheist walks into a bar that's full, and someone gets up and offers him a space. Why doesn't he take it? Because then he'd be a theist.

Score: 37

I left my girlfriend to become an astronaut. I told her I just needed space.

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Why don't ethnic and gender studies majors become astronauts? Because there's no such thing as safe space.

Score: 82

What do astrounauts put in their toasts? Space jam.

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Einstein developped a theory about space And it was about time too.

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An infinite amount of Mathematicians walk into a bar... Then they all die due to infinite mass in finite space.

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Two thristy aliens landed on my keyboard They were looking for the space bar

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My gf just told me that she needed some space and time I think she wants to calculate velocity.

Score: 11

Some people call me the space cowboy I wish they'd stop my names Jake

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NASA just reported they have lost contact with Voyager 1 after it crashed into something in the dark abyss of space Apparently they found my ex's heart, which drains all energy.

Score: 11

The first dog in space died due to stress. Must have been from all of the vacuums.

Score: 41

The first woman in space... "Houston, we have a problem."

What?

"Never mind."

What's the problem?

"Nothing."

Please tell us.

"I'm fine."

Score: 41

Trump Administration blocked CNN, BBC, New York Times, LA Times from media briefing Looks like Little Donald needs a safe space...

Score: 5

Personal space is a concept I did not understand in Kindergarten I guess that's why they fired me.

Score: 6

An astronaut and an alien walk into a space bar... The astronaut doesn't say anything to the alien.

The alien doesn't say anything to the astronaut.

Score: 20

What do they do with rope in space? Tie Astro-knots.

Score: 5

I Have The Body of a 25 Year Old Supermodel But it takes too much space in my freezer.

Score: 10

Space may sound romantic... But I'd never take a date there; there's no atmosphere.

Score: 6

Why did the EU start downloading random stuff to it's computer? It had freed up one GB of space.

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Einstein wrote a theory about Space... It was about time too!

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Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time, too.

Score: 93

Why is it hard dating an astronaut? Because they have space issues.

Score: 5

I went to the Space and Air Museum in Indiana... I paid $20 just to see an empty warehouse.

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So a Nun, a Rabi, a Lion, a Zombie, a Leprechaun, a goldfish, a Space Alien, a pair of Siamese twins, and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

Score: 9