Space Jokes

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Funniest Space Jokes

Funny Space Jokes
Score: 18857

Today one of my friends told me I often make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space. It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say and it completely ruined our bath.

Score: 15123

An old Ukrainian is cleaning his hunting rifle one day when his grandson runs in "Grandfather, the radio says that the Russians have gone into space!"

"All of them?" he asks, putting down his rifle.

"No, only one."

He starts cleaning the rifle again.

Score: 13236

My first day as a car salesman... Customer: Cargo space?
Me: Car no do that. Car no fly.
Manager: Can I see you in my office?

Score: 6350

How much space will Brexit free up in the EU? 1GB

Score: 4401

When you're trying to slingshot around Jupiter but you run out of fuel and end up on a collision course with one of Jupiter's moons... Europa creek with no paddle.

I hope someone smiles at this dumb space joke.

Score: 2947

Canada's starting a space program to send a spaceship to the moon They're calling the spaceship Apollo-G.

Score: 2318

I have the body of a 25 year old supermodel But it takes up too much space in my freezer

Score: 1379

With the UK leaving the EU, the union has some free space. Exactly 1GB

Score: 1357

Orion's Belt is a waist of space. Bad pun, I know. 3 stars at best.

Score: 1212

My friend told me I make him feel uncomfortable because I violate his personal space... It was a very hurtful thing to say and completely ruined our bath.

Score: 970

"Orion's belt is a terrible waist of space". Terrible joke. Only 3 stars.

Score: 944

[first day as a car salesman] Customer: Cargo space?

Me: Car no do that. Car no fly.

Manager: Can I see you in my office?

Score: 922

Astronaut 1: "I can't find any milk for my coffee." Astronaut:"In space no one can. Here, use cream.

Score: 910

Astronaut 1: hey I can't find any milk for my coffee Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.

Score: 791

Orion’s Belt is a big waist of space! Terrible joke.

Only three stars.

Score: 752

Yoda and Obi Wan in a space ship Obi wan asks: "are we going the right way?"

Yoda answers: "off course, we are"

Score: 737

Parking a single car doesn’t require much space. But parking 200 cars, now that requires a lot.

Score: 727

Why are Astronauts always so calm? There's no pressure in space.

Score: 668

I hate breakups. Especially when they try to let you down gently.
"It's not you, it's me" "I just need some space" "We can still be cousins".

Score: 645

Orion's Belt is a big waist of space. Terrible joke. Only 3 stars.

Score: 498

"Orion's Belt is a big waist of space " Terrible jokes. Only 3 stars

Score: 470

My first day as car salesman Customer: Cargo space?

Me: Car no do that. Car no fly.

Manager: Can I see you in my office?

Score: 468

What do you call currency in space? Starbucks.

Score: 462

My favourite Haiku Space is limited
In a haiku, so it's hard
To finish what you

Score: 396

I went to the National Air and Space Museum in DC... There was a lot more stuff in there than I'd expected

Score: 356

I have the body of a 25 year supermodel... but it takes too much space in my freezer.

Score: 355

How much free space does the EU have since Great Britain left? 1 GB

Score: 345

I just went to the Air & Space museum. Man do I feel ripped off. It was just an empty room.

Score: 341

Why is girlfriend one word and best friend two words? Because the best friend gives you space when you need it

Score: 307

How much space do you need for a fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible.

Score: 123

Stephen Hawking has finally released his new book about space. It's about time, too.

Score: 113

If the UK decides to leave the EU how much space will be freed up? About 1 GB

Score: 100

Orion's belt is useless, its just a Big waist of space

Score: 93

It took 26 years for Einstein to develop a theory about space. It was about time, too.

Score: 56

Yesterday my friend told me I “ often make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space. It was an incredibly hurtful to say and it completely ruined our bath.

Score: 40

I thought I had a good joke about space but... I needed more time to planet.

Score: 38

An atheist walks into a bar that's full, and someone gets up and offers him a space. Why doesn't he take it? Because then he'd be a theist.

Score: 37

How can you ensure you visit outer space someday? Planet.

Score: 24

I went to the Space and Air Museum in Indiana... I paid $20 just to see an empty warehouse.

Score: 21

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New Space Jokes

A conversation between a man and a car salesman Customer: Cargo space?

Car Salesman: No, car no do that. Car no fly.

Score: 0

Was talking with family the other day about how to pace yourself when you take shots on your 21st birthday. The secret is to space them out.

...

I recommend at least 6 inches between shots.

Score: 1

Did you hear the one about the real estate agent who caters to repressed homosexuals? They specialize in finding homes with lots of closet space.

Score: 0

Whydocruiseshippassengerstypelikethis? Because they haven't got space.

Score: 0

A good conversation is like a space agency I always wanted to start one

Score: 0

Where can you find the best view of scenery In space. It will leave you breathless and speechless

Hope this one hits science geeks hard

Score: 0

How much space will brexit free up after leaving the European Union? 1 GB

Score: 0

How mucj space will the Brexit free up in the European Union? 1 GB

Score: 0

My computer told me to enter the Space Bar... ...I couldn't do it because I'm an alcoholic in recovery.

Score: 2

Do you know how much space will be free when England leaves the European Union? 1 GB

Score: 4

NASA sent two women on a space walk today. Better than letting them drive there.

Score: 2

A couple of brave ladies are taking the first all female space walk this week It's a major stride forward in terms of gender equality in the workplace and it also gives them an opportunity to show that women can do some heavy lifting.

Score: 3

Astronaut 1: Hey I can't find the milk for my coffee. Astronaut 2: In space no one can, here use cream.

Score: 4

Why do astronauts get drunk when writing an email? Because they keep hitting the space bar.

Score: 9

What can't NASA do without computers? CTRL D Space

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What does NASA can't do without computers? CTRL D Space

Score: 1

Why Did Trump Re-Establish U.S. Space Command? He watched Independence Day and thought it was a documentary!

Score: 1

What did the vegans say when they were captured and put into a small space? Kelp! Lettuce leaf! There isn’t mushroom in here...

Score: 7

What do you call a sea creature that lives in outer space? A starfish.

Score: 3

You would never guess which fruit is contributing the most to human space travel Melon Musk

Score: 1

What do you call 4chan in space? Virgin Galactic.

Score: 2

I’m working with Space X on a program to send Flat Earthers into space to help them prove earth is flat. But not on bringing them back.

Score: 5

My girlfriend left me to be an astronaut Said she needed space

Score: 1

How nuch space will be left in the EU after bexit? 1 GB

Score: 8

What will an astronaut say to his girlfriend to break up with her? "I need some space!"

Score: 3

Ariana Grande would look so weird if she had no space in between her torso and head. Thankyou necks

Score: 3

What's the difference between a Rap Artist and R Kelly? The space and "art"

Score: 7

The U.S.A. spent millions of dollars to create a pen that could write in space. The Russians used a pencil

Score: 0

What did Elon Musk's wife say to him after an argument? "You have to give me some space."

Score: 1

Want to hear a confusing joke? Astronaut 1: "I can't find any milk for my coffee"
Astronaut 2: "In space no-one can. Here, use cream"

Score: 1

So, What do you call a depressed space bird? A Millennial Falcon

Score: 4

What kind of currency is used in outer space? Starbucks

Score: 3

Why does Trump need a SPACE FORCE? It's too black out there.

Score: 2

Trump was obviously joking when he said “Space Force” He meant “Strategic Defense Initiative Organization Again”

Score: 1

With the new announcement of the space force, Donald Trump decided to call this branch... Space Patrol Delta! The catch phrase will be, SPD emergency.

Score: 1

President Donald Trump is going to launch the "Space Force". Surprising for a guy who hates aliens

Score: 2

Why your astronaut friend is so upset? He just needed a little space.

Score: 3

The series Lost in Space is like... ..LOST in space

Score: 0

What's the difference between an astronaut and a normal person? A normal person does spacial geometry while astronauts do geometry in space

Score: 3

After 50 years of research, Einstein had finally created his universal theory about space It was about time he did...

Score: 2

What do you call garbage in outer space? A Trashteroid

Score: 1

NASA is in for a whole world of hurt... ...when they realise they also need to worry about car crashes in space.

Score: 2

Why did Kevin Spacey go to space? To molest young stars.

Score: 17

I was a little disappointed when I went to the space museum today... It was completely empty.

Score: 3

The zoo manager asks the vet over the phone "What can we give to our elephant if it has diarrhea?"

"Space. A lot of space" answered the vet

Score: 3

I had the worst first day of work ever today! ... looking back, maybe I should have noticed something was sketchy about the job posting... "Now hiring at county jai. Position available: Massage Therapist... Space not provided."

Score: 1

A husband and wife are getting their first baby scan After a few minutes of silent scanning, the couple ask the doctor if anything is wrong.

The doctor replies: On a positive note, your child will never struggle to find a parking space.

Score: 3

This girl I was seeing said she needed some space, so I gave it to her. It gets a bit boring sitting in my car with binoculars, though.

Score: 2

My dad told me this one today: I went to the Air and Space Museum the other day There was nothing there.

Score: 1

An astronaut and an alien walk into a space bar... The astronaut doesn't say anything to the alien.

The alien doesn't say anything to the astronaut.

Score: 20

What do you call a fuckboi from outer space? An Ayylien

Score: 5

What type of currency do people use in outer space? STARbucks.

Score: 3

Want to know how the Cold War was ended? It was with Robotussin and space heaters.

Score: 1

I have the body of an 18 year old model Too bad it takes up so much space in my freezer!

Score: 2

What suicidal space creature did Kirk find on the Enterprise? A Tribble with troubles.

Score: 1

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