Korean Jokes

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Funniest Korean Jokes

A North Korean Soldier Walks Into A Bar The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The North Korean soldier replies, "Can't complain!"

Funny Korean Jokes

Why is the North Korean dictator so evil? Because he has no Seoul.

I asked my North Korean friend, “what’s it like to live in North Korea?” He responded, “can’t complain.”

I asked my North Korean friend what life was like in North Korea "Can't complain", he said.

I asked my North Korean pen pal how it was like living in North Korea "I can't complain" he wrote back.

Unfortunately I lost my Korean friend the other day. So Yung.

A young Korean couple are lying in bed... When the guy starts farting nonstop.

The girl, unable to take the smell, says, "Stop, that's disgusting!"

"Don't blame me", the guy says. "It's the dog."

"Oh, don't blame him", she says. "He was cooked perfectly."

BREAKING: North Korean leader in a vegetative state following surgery. They've begun calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive

How do you stop a North Korean tank? Shoot the soldier pushing it.

A father asks his child, "Could you please stop listening to Korean music?" "K, pop."

My dad told me I was listening to way too much Korean Music. I told him, "K pop"

I don't get why Japanese people and South Korean people just can't get along. I mean, they're all Chinese.

I asked my North Korean friend how it was to live in North Korea... He says he can't complain.

Why are North Korean weekends so lame? Because theres only one party.

Yesterday my Korean friend died... He was So Yung

What do you call North Korean K-Pop? Propaganda Style.

Did you know that 80% of Korean businessmen have caddaracts? The other 20% drive Mercedes

I asked my North Korean friend how it was over there. He said he couldn't complain.

North Korean submarine accidentally destroys another North Korean submarine Woops, wrong sub

Why are North Korean Figure Skaters so good? It's all about the Execution

Why does the north Korean navy have glass bottom boats? So they can see their air Force.

My girlfriend is a half-Korean Her mom is Korean and her dad is Korean and her legs got ripped off in a car accident.

Why is North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un so ruthless? He doesn't have a Seoul.

I wrote to my North Korean penpal asking how things were in his country He wrote back "I can't complain"

A North-Korean officer pulls out a megaphone at the North and South Korean border and yells "Kim Jong-Un is an idiot!" and gets sent to 31 years in a labor camp. 1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and 30 years for revealing a state secret.

My Korean friend passed away... So Yung...

I asked my North Korean friend how life was there He said he couldn't complain.

Why do North Korean navy boats have glass bottoms So they can see their Air Force

A North Korean man frequently sneaks to the South Korean capital to gamble for bakery goods for his family. He is the seoul breadwinner

Being a North Korean is tough and all but hey At the end of the day, I can't complain.

What's a North Korean farmer's favorite time of year? Breakfast.

My Korean friend died last week... So Yung

How do you clear a North Korean bingo hall? B 52

So I asked my North Korean friend how his life was going He said "Can't complain".

"How is life in North Korea?" I wrote to my North Korean pen pal "I can't complain" he wrote back.

I asked my North Korean friend if he liked living there He said he can't complain.

A North Korean soldier runs across the DMZ and yells to the US Army "Kim Jong Un is an idiot!" and gets thrown in a labor camp for 16 years by the government. 1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and the other 15 for revealing a state secret.

Before candles, what did North Korean communists use to light their homes with? Electricity.

I asked my North Korean friend how he was doing.... ...and he responded, "I can't complain."

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New Korean Jokes

Who is the funniest North Korean dictator? The answer is simple, it's Il Mao.

My Korean friend died yesterday He was Sou Yung

I asked my North Korean friend, what’s it like living in North Korea? He said “I can’t complain”.

What do Kim Jong-Un and Bok Choy have in common? Both are Korean vegetables

North Korean leader can't be dead It's kimposible!

Whats the difference between a North Korean Hospital and a Vegan Restaurant? Nothing, They both serve up Vegetables

If Kim Jong Un really has become brain dead then I now have a lot more respect for him After all, he’s providing many North Korean citizens with what could well be their first look at a vegetable

BREAKING: North Korean leader Kim Jong Un in vegetative state after surgery He's become the very thing he hates

What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable Fighting off N. Korean security

There's a rumour that North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Un is dead. But personally, I think he's just Kim Jong Un-well

North Korean doctors when giving their leader a CPR be like : Kim Jong Un.. *Dos.. Tres...*

The Beastie Boys bought a cheap, Korean laptop... But Windows wouldn’t work on it because it was licensed to Kim jong ill.


I SAID IT WAS LICENS....oh never mind.

A Korean man is wanted for questioning after his wife was found dead in their family home. He is the Seoul suspect.

Following are the options of the north korean elections A:Kim Jong Un
B:A
C:B
D:C

I saw currencies fighting on the road. The South Korean Won

I asked my North Korean friend how it is to live there.. He said he couldn't complain.

Why did the north Korean flea to South Korea? To find his Seoul mate

Because of the Corona virus: North Korean citizens aren't allowed to leave the country, for the time being.

It’s 1953 and a Korean military general says... I think I need a korea-change.

I asked my North Korean friend about how it feels like living in North Korea? He replied, "Can't complain".

What does the Korean civil war and a Korean gambler have in common ? A Korean lost a Korean won

What do you call a North Korean fish? Kim Jong Gill

I asked my North Korean friend what it's like living over there He said "can't complain"

My North Korean friend died... So Yung

A German named Lars and a Korean named Wan-Wan travel to America. As they’re walking the streets of New York, Lars gets hit by a car.

Wan-wan exclaims “Lars! Do I need to call the emergency!?!?”

“*Nein*, Wan-Wan.”

Loved the Korean zombie movie "Train to Busan" and can't wait for it's sequel to come out? Then catch a train to Wuhan.

I asked my north korean friend what were his thoughts on his country situation. "Well," he said. "I guess I can't complain".

I asked my North Korean friend how life was in North Korea. He said, “I can’t complain.”

What do you call a Korean soiler who died from holding a grenade to long? Jungkook

What do you call a Korean high school girl who fights crime in spare time? Kimchi Possible obviously

My dad wanted to learn more about Korean culture. K, pop.

What do you call a South Korean couple? Seoul mates

I want to open a Korean restaurant with basketball great Kareem Abdul Jabbar. . . We’ll call it Korean Abdul Jabbarbecue.

What sound does the slingshot North Korean nuke make when it's launced? Pyongyang

What did the American magician say to the Korean magician I'm about to end your whole korea.

Have you ever had traditional North Korean food? That's OK, neither have the citizens.

Korean meatballs They really are the dog's bollocks.

How many people does it take to start a K-Pop band? Just one korean and a really good stylist

You ever tried North Korean Food? Neither have the North Koreans

“Doctor, I keep having terrible flashbacks when I listen to Korean pop music.” “Thats a clear case of BTS-D.”

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Long Korean Jokes

A Russian, a Mexican, and a Korean all show up to a construction site and get hired.

The boss says that for their first day on the job, the Russian is in charge of concrete, the Mexican is in charge of wood, and the Korean is in charge of supplies.

The boss then leaves and comes back a few hours later to check up on his new workers.

He walks over to the Russian, and all the concrete mix is stacked up nice and orderly. The boss tells him "great work!" and moves on.

He walks up to the Mexican and sees that al the wood is stacked in a perfect pile, so he says "wonderful job!" and moves on.

He then looks around and sees that the Korean is missing, and supplies are everywhere. Out of nowhere, the Korean jumps out from behind a pile of dirt and yells "SUPPLIES!"

A Korean man and a Jewish man are in a bar, total strangers to one another.

The Jewish man walks up to the Korean man and, totally unprompted, punches him in the face.

Naturally, the Korean man goes "What was that for?"

The Jewish man responds, "That was for Pearl Harbor."

"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese," says the Korean man.

"Ah, Korean, Chinese, Japanese — you guys are all the same."

Looking not to argue, they part ways.

Later in the night, the Korean man walks up to the Jewish man, and punches him in the face as well.

"Okay, okay, I get it — that's fair. I punched you, you punched me, but what was that for?"

"That was for the titanic," says the Korean man.

"The Titanic? That was an iceberg."

"Yeah — Greenberg, Goldberg, Iceberg. You're all the same."

I just summarized the jokes I liked best in a recent Askreddit thread. Have fun!

I hope that's fitting in the Subreddit. If not, leave a downvote please.

-Remains to be seen if glass coffins become popular.

-I have a phobia of over-engineered buildings - its a complex complex complex.

-I have an L shaped couch... Lower case.

-I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain.

-A man walked into his house and was delighted when he discovered that someone had stolen all of his lamps.

-I, for one, like Roman numerals.

-You can never lose a homing pigeon - if your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a pigeon.

-I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, because it was just collecting dust.

-I stayed up all night wondering where the sun was, and then it dawned on me.

-Am I the only one who realizes that blackboards are truly remarkable?

-I told a woman that she painted her eyebrows on too high. She looked surprised.

-so what if I can't spell Armageddon, it's not the end of the world.

-Inspecting mirrors is a job I could easily see myself doing.

-You know, the shovel really was a ground-breaking invention.

-A dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac lays awake all night wondering if there really is a dog.

-The guy who invented autocorrect has died… restaurant in Piece

-light a fire for a man and he'll be warm for a night, light the man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

-Why is it so hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs? Because they take everything literally.

-Dwarves and midgets have very little in common.

An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve

An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden and try to figure out what nationality they are.

The American says, "Look at how free and independent they are, they must be Americans."

The Briton says, "What are you talking about, look at how calm and reserved they are, the are obviously British."

The North Korean says, "You two are both missing the point. They have no clothes, no shelter, they only have and apple to eat between them and yet they are being told that they live in paradise. They're clearly North Korean."

I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job...

...but when I got home, all the signs were there.

Few more:

* I hate Russian dolls, they’re so full of themselves.

* I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain.

* My girlfriend started smoking, so I slowed down and applied Lubricant.

* I, for one, like Roman numerals.

* People used to laugh at me when I would say “I want to be a comedian”, well nobody’s laughing now.

* Throwing acid is wrong, in some people’s eyes.

* I haven’t slept for three days, because that would be too long.

* The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself “This changes everything.”

* My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the local zoo.

* My friend gave me his Epi-Pen as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it.

* I’ve spent the past four years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer, but no one will do it.

* I saw a sign that said “watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”

* I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, all it was doing was gathering dust.

* People say I’m condescending. That means i talk down to people.

A Korean and a Jew

Jew: Hey... weren't you people responsible for Pearl Harbor?

Korean: Uh... that was the Japanese. I'm Korean.

Jew: Pffft, Japanese, Chinese, Korean. What's the difference?

Korean: Well wait, weren't you people responsible for sinking the Titanic?

Jew: Uh... that was an iceberg.

Korean: Pffft, Rosenberg, Goldberg, iceberg... What's the difference?

Two dictators are arguing about whose army is more obedient.

They walk to the edge of the cliff and call a soldier over. Putin commands his soldier to jump off the cliff. The soldier says "Please Putin, I have a wife and children."

Putin lets him go.

Kim Jong Un instructs a soldier to jump. The soldier is about to jump when Putin grabs his arm and stops him.

The North Korean soldier says "Please Putin, I have a wife and children."

A British guy, a French guy, and a Korean guy got stranded on an island

A British guy, a French guy, and a Korean guy got stranded on an island. The British guy decided it would be best for them to split up and meet back the next day. He told the other two that he would build a shelter, and told the French guy to gather food and the Korean guy to get supplies. The next day, the British guy had an impressive shelter built and the French guy showed up with berries and nuts, but there was no sign of the Korean guy. Days passed, and they began to get worried, so they set off in search of him. They walked through the jungle for three days without any sign of the Korean guy. Then on the fourth day, as they were about to give up hope, the Korean guy suddenly popped out from behind a rock and yelled "supplies!"

A North Korean Judge walks out of the courtroom, laughing his head off

His friend approaches him and asks “what’s so funny?”

“Oh, I just heard the funniest political joke.” replies the Judge.

“Tell Me!”

“I can’t - I just gave someone life in prison for it!”

A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker ....

A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker are walking down the street.

A reporter comes up to them and says,
“Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?”

The Saudi says, “excuse me , what is this word shortage?”

The Russian says, “excuse me, what’s meat?”

The North Korean says, “excuse me, what’s an opinion?”

The New Yorker says, “excuse me, what’s excuse me?”

What's your opinion on the current meat shortage?

A pollster was taking opinions outside the United Nations building in New York City.


He approached four men waiting to cross the street: a Saudi man, a Polish man, a North Korean man and a resident New Yorker.


He asked, "Excuse me, I would like to ask you your opinion on the current meat shortage?"


The Saudi man replied, "Excuse me, but what is a shortage?"


The Polish man said, "Excuse me, but what is meat?"


The North Korean man replied, "Excuse me, but what is an opinion?"


The New Yorker replied, "What is 'excuse me?'"

Mexican self defense

A Mexican passed a Japanese man and a Korean man as they were discussing their favorite type of martial arts.

Japanese man: I practice karate, the defense arts.

Korean man: I practice Taekwondo, teaches defense and attack.

At this point the men notice the Mexican and ask him what he practices

Mexican: Judono

Men: We have heard of Judo but not Judono, what is it?

Mexican: Well, judono if I got a gun, judono if I got a knife...

A North Korean lady was in line in front of me at my bank in the U.S., trying to exchange some won. She was obviously irritated, arguing with the teller.

“Why it change? Yesterday I get two hunat dolla of won, today I get
only one hunat eighty. Why it change?”

Teller shrugs his shoulders, says, “Fluctuations.”

Korean lady says, “Fluc you white people too!”

A North Korean farmer is finally rewarded after fifty years of hard labour for the State

A party official visits the farmer in his simple living quarters and proclaims

"Comrade, for your hard work and absolute dedication to the great leader and the Democratic People's Republic, we would like to reward you with a car"

The humble farmer nods silently to show his appreciation, the party official continues;

"As you know, North Korean industry is the the most powerful and efficient in the world, and as such we will have your car delivered to you in exactly 8 years"

The humble farmer then signals to the official to wait, and he crosses the room to check his calendar. After flipping through for some time he finally says;

"Morning or afternoon?"

The party official is rather offended, and remarks "comrade, you are being given a car! And that privilege aside, delivery is 8 years away, what does it matter if its morning or afternoon?"

To which the farmer responds "Well, the plumber is coming in the morning..."

Starcraft joke.

It's been 15 years since North Korea broke the Korean Armistice Agreement (cease fire agreement), and both North and South Korea are desperate to end the war since they are running low on resources. One South Korean general decided that he needs every help he can find to win the war so he brings Jaedong, who was once considered the best Starcraft player, to use as a strategist.

The general says "I know you've been retired for a while and using a starcraft player as a war strategist is a bit unorthodox, but we really could use your help. Thanks for coming"

"Sure, I am just happy I can contribute my long forgotten skill sets to my country"

"Great! We really value your ability to come up with strategies quickly under pressure."

"I'll try my best"

Then Jaedong was taken to the situation room where the president and other high rank officials are sitting in a circle.

"We've been waiting for you. Come here and take a sit" said the president.

Jaedong sits down nervously.

One of the officials explains the situation to Jaedong "I'm not going to lie, things aren't looking very good at the moment. We are fighting in their territory so they have the advantage. We can't send tanks too close because they'll be easily targeted from the mountains. We can't send bombers since all the anti-airs will get rid of them even before our planes get near the target. Soldiers can't just march down because then they'll just get outnumbered by the North Koreans with Chinese soldiers on the side. We really don't know what to do at the moment, and this is where we need your help."

"...." Jaedong sits quietly for a minute and starts walking out of the room.

"HEY! What do you think you are doing? We know you aren't exactly trained for situations like this, but we really need your advice on this." Says the confused general.

Then Jaedong speaks "I wish I could help you sir, I really do."

"Then why were you just trying to walk out of the room?"

"Because I'm a Zerg player"

An Englishman, An American and A Korean are on a ship...

The ship is in stormy waters, when suddenly a genie appears from the waves and tells them "I'm sorry, but you men will die in this storm. I have no power to prevent your death, but as some recompense I can grant you all one wish before you perish"

The three great friends begin to think before answering the genie.

The American answers first "I want the chance to sing the great national anthem of America one last time in full, and please genie allow the storm to quieten so that my friends may hear this wonderful tune and enjoy it"

The genie replies that he can grant this wish

The Korean next asks "It would make my last moments on this earth perfect if I could one last time eat the traditional food of my country, some sour and spicy cabbage soup, along with salted blood sausage and ice noodles - but I want enough so that I can share the last meal with my friends.

"It will be done" answers the genie

Finally the British man speaks up.

"Please kill me before the song and the food:"

A British, an American and a North Korean captain are bragging about their submarines...

A British, an American and a North Korean captain are bragging about their submarines and how long they can stay underwater.

The British captain starts off saying: "Our submarines can stay underwater for 6 months before having to resurface!".

The American replies: "Pff, that's nothing. Our submarines can go for a whole 3 years and never have to come to the surface once!".

At this point the North Korean starts laughing and says: "Oh boys, that's really cute and all, but we launched a submarine in 1968 and it hasn't surfaced yet!".

Two old men on a bench

An old korean man and an old jewish man are sitting on a bench.
Suddenly the jewish elderly slaps the korean and says "that's for pearl harbour"

The korean replies "I've got nothing to do with that, it was the japanese, and I'm korean"
To which the jewish replies "well, japanese, chinese, korean, you're all the same to me."
Hearing that, the korean slaps the jewish, saying "that's for the titanic"
"I've got nothing to do with that, it was an iceberg"
"well, iceberg, rosenberg, all the same to me"

Happiness

Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump are on a plane. As the plane flies over a poor city, the Korean dictator looks through the window and claims:

-If I were to toss a dollar off the plane, I would make one person happy.

-If I were to throw a hundred dollars in pennies, I could make entire families happier,- says President Putin.

-Please, the amount of spare change I could find in my pockets alone would cheer up the city,- boasts President Trump.

-And if I were to throw you three off the plane, I would make the entire humanity happy,- adds the pilot.

An American, a South-African and a Korean are on a plane.

After a malfunction in one of the motors, the plane is forced to make an emergency landing. The plane crashes into the ocean, a few hundred metres from a remote island. Only the American, the South-African and the Korean survives.

All three swim to the island, and it quickly becomes clear that they are going to stay there for a while. The American decides to take responsibility, and gives everyone different jobs.

"I'll make an S.O.S sign for passing planes to see us. It would be great if you, South-African, can get us some shelter. And you, Korean, can you get us supplies?"

They all split up and begin their job. After a while the American and the South-African meet up. They are both finished with their job. The American has made a huge S.O.S sign, visible from a far. The South-African has made a really nice hut for them to live in. They begin looking for the Korean, but they can't find him.

As time passes by, the American and the South-African begin to worry. No sign for the Korean. The eventually decide that they need to get to the shelter without him, on an empty stomach. As the sky becomes dark, they start to hear something move in a bush, and become anxious. Has something happened to the Korean? Is there dangerous wildlife on this island?

Suddenly, the Korean jumps in to the hut and shouts "SUPLISE"

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