At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “Can you tell me what happened before The Big Bang?” The professor replied, “Sorry. No Time.”
Why is it best to teach physics on the edge of a cliff? (Original joke) Because that's where students have the most potential.
My physics teacher said i have potential and then pushed me down the stairs
How do women defy the laws of physics? The heavier they are, the easier to pick up!
My physics teacher told me I had potential. Then he pushed me off the roof.
What's the most terrifying word in nuclear physics ? Oops.
I got caught cheating on my physics exam. Furious, my professor said to me "I hope you understand the gravity of the situation". But if I had known that, I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.
A joke from my old physics professor..
How Long is a battleship. True or false?
False. How Long is a man from China.
Physics Joke A photon walks into a hotel and the bellman says "can I help you with your bags?" And the photon replies, "no it's ok, I'm traveling light."
Women defy physics. The heavier they get, the easier they are to pick up.
What did a physics teacher say to calm down a student who wanted to jump off the roof? Don't do that, you have so much potential!
A physics student asked her professor to describe what happened right before the Big Bang... ....but the professor couldn't, because there was no time.
The other day, my Physics teacher said I had so much potential... Then he pushed me out the window.
My physics teacher asked me if I understood the chapter on linear motion. I said "yeah it's pretty straightforward"
My physics teacher told me I had a lot of potential... Then he pushed me off the roof
Did you hear about the physics student that committed suicide by jumping off a skyscraper? What a shame. He had so much potential.
How do fat women defy physics? Because the heavier they get, the easier they are to pick up.
A physics teacher is about to jump off a high bridge When a friend stops him saying, "Don't do it, you have so much potential."
Women defy the laws of physics... They are easier to pick up the heavier they get...
My physics professor told me I had potential Then he pushed me off the roof.
Breaking up is like physics ...
She keeps saying that I have no energy.
I keep telling her that I have potential.
Wanna hear a physics pun? If an aircraft always takes off at an angle, doesn't that make it an inclined plane?
A Joke by my Physics Teacher
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the roof of his building.
Just before the man jumps, the physicist yells: "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
I had a female Physics teacher in my school.
One day, a guy asked her, "What is the unit of power?"
"That's watt", she said.
What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics? "Oops"
A physics student was standing on top of a building, threatening to jump I tried to talk him out of it, because he had so much potential.
I keep asking my physics teacher
I keep asking my physics teacher "what is he unit for power?"
But he just keeps responding with "yes."
One More For All The Philosophy Majors Out There
The Physics major asks: How does it work?
The Engineering major asks: How do you build it?
The Accounting major asks: How much will it cost?
The Philosophy major asks: Do you want fries with that?
My Physics teacher told me I had a lot of potential Then he pushed me off a roof as a class demonstration
My physics teacher said I have potential... He threw me off a building to prove it.
Ex-girlfriends don't understand physics ....
She kept saying that I had no energy, and never did anything.
I kept telling her I had so much potential.
After years of studying, a physics student comes rushing into Einstein's office shouting...
"Professor, Professor, I think I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity!"
Einstein rolls his eyes
"It's about time!"
If you fell off a tall building If you fell off a tall building and had never studied physics, would you understand the gravity of the situation?
How physicists see other sciences:
Biology: squishy physics
Geology: slow physics
Computer Science: virtual physics
Psychology: people physics
Chemistry: impure physics
Math: physics minus the units
In the physics department's bathroom There is a stall that has graffiti on the wall. The graffiti reads "Werner Heisenberg may have been here."
I told my father that I failed my first Physics midterm. He told me that he understands the gravity of my situation.
My physics teacher told me that I had a lot of potential. Then he pushed me out of the window.
This popped into my head in class the other day...
Why do professors like stats and physics students?
Because they'll work for p naughts.
I did terribly in my quantum physics class, but still got an "A"
and I also got an "F"
I'm not opening my report card.
My physics teacher said that I'm going really bad at his class This made me really sad and now I'm in a moment of refraction
I asked my physics instructor what would happen if the universe hit Absolute Zero. He told me that if the universe came to that point then we shouldn't worry, everything is going to be 0K.
What did the physics teacher say to Luke Skywalker? Use the mass times acceleration!
A student asked his physics instructor
"How can you tell which numbers are prime?"
Physics instructor: "Oh that's easy! All odd numbers are prime."
Student: "what about 9?"
Physics instructor: "oh that's just experimental error!"
Where do physics teachers go on vacation Times square
I thought of a great joke about physics but it would probably Bohr most of you..
I asked my dad for help with my physics homework exactly once.
I told him I didn't quite understand the concept of "W = fd"
He told me to get a job.
I was asked in a job interview how well I understood theoretical physics. I told them "I have a theoretical degree in physics.
Astronomy Instructor: In modern physics Black holes matter ,,, Student shouts: All holes matter...!
Why did the classical physics professor lose his job? He sucked at his work.
A recent study found that cats are highly entertained by theoretical physics! *Especially* string theory.
What to hear a physics joke? Assume a funny joke. Ignore friction.
Finally got around to taking a class on temporal physics. It's about time, right?
Why physics teacher break up with biology teacher? There was no chemistry
What do you call 'physics based drifting'? Inertia driftu
Physics Student Question: A parrot was sitting on an elephant ... So the elephant died. Prove that, how is it possible?
Physics Student's Answer: Think,
The name of the elephant is parrot and parrot
Name 'elephant' [proven]
Physics jokes are like spherical chickens... ...they work in theory.
What did the physics teacher say when meditating? "Ohmmmmmmmm"
Every time I tell a physics joke .. it fails to get any momentum
Physics was my favourite subject at school I found it relativity easy
My physics teacher told me that even though I may feel down, that there's always an upside in life So she pushed me into the pool and begun the lesson on buoyancy.
Why was the physics teacher naked? He was drawing free-body diagrams!
My friend thinks the Canadian prime minister does not know quantum physics. I know it's trudeau.
Why is it best to teach physics on the edge of a cliff? Because that's where students have the most potential.
The bartender asks, "What'll it be?"
A tachyon walks into the bar.
What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair (credit to my physics teacher's wife)
(Physics) What's a physicists favourite graph? A Van De Graaff.
If Power is Work over time. (P = w/t)
And anything over 0 is infinity
And Time is Money (t = $)
And Knowledge is Power (K = P)
So K = W/$. That also means that $ = W/K
So, if Knowledge = 0, $ = infinity.
I had an interview at a solar power plant today...
And they asked me how well I understood theoretical physics. I told them, I have a theoretical degree in physics. They said welcome aboard.
Sorry, hype is an overwhelming thing.