Why are circumsized penises so popular among Jewish girls?
They love anything that's 15% off
Just a joke lol
Why do Jews get Circumcised? Because Jewish women refuse to touch anything that isn't at least 10% off
Why are all Jewish men circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that's not 10% off
A teacher asks the class, “What are some examples of flammable objects?” and the Jewish student raises his hand. The teacher replies, “Very good! Any other examples?”
I met a Jewish girl today and she asked for my number I told her we use names here
A waiter walks up to a table full of Jewish women dining And says "ladies, is anything ok?"
Why do Jews get circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that's not at least 10% off.
What do Jewish pedophiles say? “Hey kid, want to buy some candy?”
A while ago I had a blind date with a Jewish girl
She asked me for my number.
I told her that we usually use names.
Why do Jewish men get circumcised as youth. Jewish women won't touch anything that's not at least 10% off.
A Jewish girl asked for my number
I told her we use names now.
No matter who wins the presidential election, it will be historic. We'll either have the first female president, the first Jewish president, the first Canadian president, or the last president.
I had a date with a jewish girl.
After date she asked me for a number.
I told her we don't have numbers, we have names.
Why are Jewish men circumsised? Because Jewish women only touch things 20% off.
I came up with this joke during lunch break: What do you call a jewish obstacle course? Shlalom
Why do Jewish men get circumcised? because Jewish women won't accept anything unless it has at least 20% off.
A Jewish woman gets up mid-flight to the US and shouts: "Is there a doctor here?"
A nice, serious guy approaches her quickly and tells her: "I am. What is the problem?"
She replies: "Do you want to meet my daughter?"
A group of Jewish women are eating at a diner. Their waitress walks by and asks "Is anything alright?"
Why do jews get their penises circumcised? Because Jewish girls won't touch anything that's not 10% off
Why are all Jewish men circumsized? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't 10% off
I met a Jewish girl today. She asked for my number. I told her we use names here.
A Jewish Black kid walks up to his dad and asks if he is more Black than Jewish.
"Why son?" The dad asks.
"Because there is a kid at school selling his bike for $50 and I was wondering if I should talk him down to $30 or just steal it."
Why don't Jewish girls study on their period? Concentration Cramps
What is the objective of jewish football? To get the quarter back.
How does a Jewish mother change a lightbulb? "No, that's all right. I'll just sit here in the dark."
Do you know why Jewish men are circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's ten percent off.
What's the point of Jewish football? To get the quarter back.
Why do jewish men get circumcised? Because a jewish woman wouldn't touch anything unless it's 20% off.
I farted in front of my Jewish friend...
He glared at me.
I said, "What? A little gas never killed anyone !"
1948; "Did you hear,the Jewish people finally got their own country? Is this real?" "Yes,it is real!" My best original joke, taa daaa. !!!
This might be offensive, but what do you call a jewish pokémon trainer? Ash.
A Little Black Jewish Boy says to his father, "daddy, am I more black or more Jewish?"
Why do you ask? Says the dad.
The boy says, "well a guy at school has a bike for sale for $150 and I can't decide if I should haggle him down to $75 or just steal it"
I, too, have a Jewish friend, and he told me this one...
What's the difference between a Jewish woman and a Latina?
A Latina has fake jewelry and real orgasms.
Why can't Jewish girls be basic? They're too Hasidic
A Black/Jewish boy asks his dad whether he's more Black or more Jewish. When his dad asks why, the boy answers "there's a bike for sale for $100 and I can't decide whether to haggle down to $75 or just steal it."
What do Jewish pedophiles say to kids? Hey, wanna buy some candy?
What's the aim of a Jewish football match? Getting the quarterback.
How do you spot a Jewish paedophile in Thailand? He brings his own kids.
What's the point of Jewish football? Getting the quarter back.
What’s a Jewish comedian’s favorite type of seafood? Fish schticks
Why do jewish people love breaking their fast with sweet potatoes? So that they can properly celebrate Yam kippur.
No need to insult the Jewish Hitler already roasted them
Three Jewish women having lunch in a restaurant... Waiter approaches and asks, "Is anything OK here?"
Today I saw the most beautiful Jewish girl in my life She Israeli preety.
How did the jewish boy cure his ADD? He was sent to a concentration camp
Do you guys have idea how hard it is to make a good Jewish joke? Actually, Israeli easy.
Why do Jewish men get circumcised? Jewish women won’t touch anything that’s not 10% off
Why are Jewish males circumcised? Because they know Jewish females can’t resist anything that’s 10% off
I went on a very unpleasant date with a Jewish grammarist the other day Now I think I'm anti-semantic.
What is a Jewish, a Black and a Russian man waiting outside a brothel for? The Black man is waiting for the light to turn green, the Jew is waiting for the prices to drop and the Russian is waiting for his wife.
There was this really hot guy on the beach when I was in Mexico, so I brought him some Jewish bread.
He gave me a weird look, subsequently turned me down...and I don't understand *why.*
*I just wanted to challah at a Playa.*
What did the Jewish boy say to the other Jewish boy? Hebrew
Hello, I'd like to introduce you to my friend. He's a Jewish Barista. Hebrew.
What do you call an attractive, Jewish lemon with no worldly possessions? An aesthetic ascetic acidic Hasidic.
What do you call an 85 year old Jewish man that murdered his wife? Ruthless
Two Jewish kids are fighting, one throws ash on the other. The other says:"Don't get your parents involved"
A Jewish kid asks his dad for $50 His dad narrows his eyes and says "Forty dollars? What do you need thirty dollars for?"
So this Jewish kid goes to his dad for $20
And he says "hey dad I need a 20 to go the store."
His dad says "15 dollars?! What do you need 10 dollars for? I got a five so here's 2.50"
What life advice did the Jewish cannibal give to his friend? Keep your friends close, but your enemies kosher
What do you call a cool jewish guy? Iceberg
Did you know Abraham Lincoln was jewish? He was shot in the temple
What do you call a mean Jewish engineer? A Rude Goldberg
Jewish Rabbis don't get paid for circumsion... They just get tips
Whats the difference between a Muslim hippie and a Jewish hippie? One's stoned and one's baked.
I've never met a full-blown Jew They're always just Jewish
I could never date a jewish woman Because i believe the jews have suffered enough
What do you call a Jewish fish? Isra-eel.
Why do Jewish people have big noses? Air is free.
Why do Jewish guys get circumcised? Because they know Jewish girls can't resist something that's 30% off
A jewish son asks his father for money.
The son goes up to his father and asks, "Dad, can I borrow twenty dollars?"
His fathers responds, "Fifteen dollars?! What are you gunna do with ten dollars?!"
What do you call a jewish Pokemon? A Circumscyther.
I got beaten up by a Jewish guy at a Formula one circuit today I only said that I was a part of the Mazda race
Why do Jewish men have to be circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't 20% off.
Why do Jewish men get circumcisions? Because Jewish women won't touch anything under 15% off.
Joke for LoL, Dota2, and smite players. Why are Jewish junglers the worst? They always die at the first camp.
Goldie, a middle aged Jewish woman goes to see a fortune-teller.
"Two men are madly in love with me!" Goldie says. "Who will be the lucky one?"
The swami answers...."Morris will marry you, and Irving will be the lucky one."
What does Jewish Superman say when he takes off ?
Up Up and Oy Vey !
(For some reason this is just fun to say out loud)
Two Jewish duck hunters make a kill on the same waterfowl But who takes the bill?
Why are all Jewish men circumcised? Their women won't touch anything that isn't 10% off!
Why are Jewish men usually circumcised? Because Jewish women won't take anything that's less than 10% off
Son asks for money
A young jewish son asks his dad for $5 dollars.
The dad responds shocked, "$4 dollars? What do you need $3 dollars for?"
How do you get a jewish girls number? You roll up her sleeve.
My Asian friend got his Jewish wife pregnant. I guess "Cha Ching" wasn't an appropriate name suggestion
How do you get a Jewish girl's number? Lift up her sleeve.
I just found out JFK was jewish. He was shot in the temple.
Did you hear about the new Jewish car? It stops on a dime and then picks it up.
What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jewish person?
The Boy Scout comes home from camp.
^First ^time ^posting ^on ^this ^sub ^don't ^know ^what's ^too ^offensive ^and ^what's ^not ^sorry.
What do you call an non alkaline Jewish family. Hasidic
What do you call a Jewish person who is suicidal? A Yamikaze.
What do you call male and female Jewish baristas? Hebrews and Shebrews.
Why can't you insult Jewish people? Because they've already been roasted.
What's your number? A jewish girl and a man walks into a bar. They hit it off and the man asks for the girls number. She lifts her sleeve.
What do you call a Jewish rock band? I want my nickelback
A boy asks his Jewish father for 50 dollars... The father looked at his son and asked, "40 dollars? What do you need 30 dollars for?"
A jewish girl asks her dad for 40 dollars her dad looks at her and says"30 DOLLARS??!!?!, what do you need 20 dollars for? here's a ten, go split it with your brother"
Have you heard about the jewish comedian? They say he Israeli funny.
What do you call a Jewish catch 22? Free ham
How did the Jewish terrorist die? Hebrew up.
So a Jewish boy walks up to his father...
a Jewish boy walks up to his father and asks him for $5.
His father responds: "$4? What do you need $3 for? Here's $2, split it with your brother."