Why are circumsized penises so popular among Jewish girls?
They love anything that's 15% off
Just a joke lol
Why do Jews get Circumcised? Because Jewish women refuse to touch anything that isn't at least 10% off
Why are all Jewish men circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that's not 10% off
A teacher asks the class, “What are some examples of flammable objects?” and the Jewish student raises his hand. The teacher replies, “Very good! Any other examples?”
I met a Jewish girl today and she asked for my number I told her we use names here
A waiter walks up to a table full of Jewish women dining And says "ladies, is anything ok?"
Why do Jews get circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that's not at least 10% off.
What do Jewish pedophiles say? “Hey kid, want to buy some candy?”
A while ago I had a blind date with a Jewish girl
She asked me for my number.
I told her that we usually use names.
Why do Jewish men get circumcised as youth. Jewish women won't touch anything that's not at least 10% off.
A Jewish girl asked for my number
I told her we use names now.
No matter who wins the presidential election, it will be historic. We'll either have the first female president, the first Jewish president, the first Canadian president, or the last president.
I had a date with a jewish girl.
After date she asked me for a number.
I told her we don't have numbers, we have names.
Why are Jewish men circumsised? Because Jewish women only touch things 20% off.
I came up with this joke during lunch break: What do you call a jewish obstacle course? Shlalom
Why do Jewish men get circumcised? because Jewish women won't accept anything unless it has at least 20% off.
A Jewish woman gets up mid-flight to the US and shouts: "Is there a doctor here?"
A nice, serious guy approaches her quickly and tells her: "I am. What is the problem?"
She replies: "Do you want to meet my daughter?"
A group of Jewish women are eating at a diner. Their waitress walks by and asks "Is anything alright?"
Why do jews get their penises circumcised? Because Jewish girls won't touch anything that's not 10% off
Why are all Jewish men circumsized? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't 10% off
I met a Jewish girl today. She asked for my number. I told her we use names here.
A Jewish Black kid walks up to his dad and asks if he is more Black than Jewish.
"Why son?" The dad asks.
"Because there is a kid at school selling his bike for $50 and I was wondering if I should talk him down to $30 or just steal it."
Why don't Jewish girls study on their period? Concentration Cramps
What is the objective of jewish football? To get the quarter back.
How does a Jewish mother change a lightbulb? "No, that's all right. I'll just sit here in the dark."
Do you know why Jewish men are circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's ten percent off.
What's the point of Jewish football? To get the quarter back.
Why do jewish men get circumcised? Because a jewish woman wouldn't touch anything unless it's 20% off.
I farted in front of my Jewish friend...
He glared at me.
I said, "What? A little gas never killed anyone !"
What do Jewish pedophiles say to kids? Hey, wanna buy some candy?
What do you call an attractive, Jewish lemon with no worldly possessions? An aesthetic ascetic acidic Hasidic.
Why are Jewish men circumcised? Cause Jewish women won't take anything unless its 10% off.
What did the boy scout do that the jewish boy couldn't Come home from camp
Why do Jewish men get circumcised? Because Jewish women only want things that are 20% off.
Why do Jewish women never make coffee? Because Hebrew
A Jewish woman goes to see her Rabbi...
and asks, "Yankele and Yosele are both in love with me, who will be the lucky one?"
The wise old Rabbi answers, "Yankele will marry you. Yosele will be the lucky one."
Today I saw the most beautiful Jewish girl in my life She Israeli preety.
Do you guys have idea how hard it is to make a good Jewish joke? Actually, Israeli easy.
Here's a nice Jewish joke my Dad told me A Jewish kid asks his father for 20$. The father responds, "10$, what on earth do you need 5$ for, I'd be happy with 1$, here's a quarter."
Where does a jewish guy's boston girlfiend go if she wants him to eat her out? The Poconos
After further examination, it was determined Abe Lincoln had actually been shot in the temple Who would have guessed he was Jewish?
Do you know why Jewish people are never cops? Because they don't deal with pigs.
What currency do Jewish ogres use? Shrekels.
As a Jewish person, I wish I did live up to our stereotypes But I’m poor and overspend
What do they play at tabernacle when a Jewish boy turns 8 days old Pomp and Circumcision
What did the amish dude say to his jewish friend after not seeing him in a long time? Amishjew bro
I’m Jewish, German, and Russian So you have a few options of why to immediately dislike me.
What’s a Jewish comedian’s favorite type of seafood? Fish schticks
I hate Jewish jokes. My grandfather died in the holocaust... He got drunk and fell out of the guard tower.
I was sitting at the park with a friend when a man walked by...
He had on a black hat and a black robe. His sideburns were curly and his beard was long.
My friend said "That guy is Jewish"
I thought "He looks 100% to me"
Did you see the new Jewish movie? I heard Israeli good.
The 3 shortest books ever written are:
Jewish Business Ethics
Black Guys I Met While Yachting
What do you call the last answer on your Rabbi's trivia night? The Final Solution to the Jewish Question
How did the Jewish boy do on his English test? Hebrew it.
What's a Jewish kid's favorite game to play in the attic? The silent game
Where do Jewish parents send their ADHD kids during the summer? Concentration camps.
No need to insult the Jewish Hitler already roasted them
Jewish jokes are unfunny Anne frankly they are kind of offensive
What’s a jewish guys favorite fairy tale? Rumpleforeskin.
All my Jewish friends must have really liked their summer camps ...because they haven’t come back
Did you hear about the brand of brans that cause gase in Jewish people more then in others? it's called Heinz Hitler
I tried to set up a new summer school in Isreal ... For kids with ADHD, but now I am told the name of it, Jewish Concentration Camp won’t work 🧐
Why are Jewish funeral's so easy to plan? Because they're already cremated
A black Jewish guy asks his dad If he is more Jewish or black. His dad asks why. His son says there is a guy selling a tv down the street and he wanted to know if he should steal it or get it for half price.
Three Jewish women having lunch in a restaurant... Waiter approaches and asks, "Is anything OK here?"
How did the Jewish brewery owner make his drinks? Hebrew it
Some people complain about not being able to afford food... That’s what us Jewish just like to call an extended holiday
A Jewish Nursing Students Final Exam
A nursing student, by the name of Esther is at her final nursing exam.
The examiner asks Esther, "How would you bathe the genitals?"
She replies, "The same way I would bathe the jews."
What did the Jewish Bostonian woman declare to her Sunday bridge group about her recent knitting project?
"I'm so AUtistic!"
What do you call your transgender Jewish uncle? Aunt Frank
What do Orthodox Jewish kids dress up as on Halloween? One eyed ghosts.
How did the jewish boy cure his ADD? He was sent to a concentration camp
What do you call a retreat for Jewish kids with ADHD? Concentration Camp
What do you call a family of jewish people who grow apples Apple Jews
What was the Jewish Detective called? Shylock Holmes
Didn't know so many Hispanic guys were Jewish But I keep hearing them say Yahweh
Who is the best Jewish rapper of all time? Dr Dreidel.
You hear about the Jewish Mother Doll? You pull the string and it rolls it eyes and says, "AGAIN with the string?"
My dad's Christian and my mom's jewish and they LOVE recycling... But it's a little awkward for both me and my grandad on ash wednesday. Sadly he didn't survive the holocaust.
Whats the difference between a Muslim hippie and a Jewish hippie? One's stoned and one's baked.
What does Jewish Superman say when he takes off ?
Up Up and Oy Vey !
(For some reason this is just fun to say out loud)
Why do Jewish people become rich? They don't Passover good business opportunities.
My Asian friend got his Jewish wife pregnant. I guess "Cha Ching" wasn't an appropriate name suggestion
What is a Jewish guys favorite motorcycle brand? Yamaka
What do you call a Jewish organization based in Vancouver? Yiddish Columbia
What did the jewish man say to the doctor after having his son circumsised? Keep the tip.
People always complain that Jewish people have all the money. Well if 6 million of your people died, you'd expect at least some inheritance
This election season has taught me a lot about what it must feel like to be a reasonable, level-headed Christian . . . You really really like this one Jewish socialist guy, but you have a really hard time tolerating most of his other fans.
Why aren't Jewish people into rap? They can't drop dimes
Why do all Jewish guys have purple penises? Because they're all tight-fisted wankers!
What's the name of the hat Jewish people are always seen wearing? Oh yeah a Yankees hat.
I don't like Jewish jokes. Anne Frankly I won't stand them.
Where did the Jewish boy go to get rid of his ADHD problem? Concentration Camp.
A Jewish boy asks his father for $20 "Fifteen dollars? What do you need ten dollars for? Here's five" Hands him a dollar.
How can you spot a Jewish Pedofile? He's the guy in the creepy van rolling up to kids and asking "Hey kids, you want to buy some candy?"
Why are jewish people's noses so big Because air is free
A Jewish Santa Claus came down the chimney and said.... "Anyone wanna buy any presents?"
What do you call a jewish bodybuilder? Muscletov.