Why are circumsized penises so popular among Jewish girls?
They love anything that's 15% off
Just a joke lol
Why do Jews get Circumcised? Because Jewish women refuse to touch anything that isn't at least 10% off
Why are all Jewish men circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that's not 10% off
A teacher asks the class, “What are some examples of flammable objects?” and the Jewish student raises his hand. The teacher replies, “Very good! Any other examples?”
I met a Jewish girl today and she asked for my number I told her we use names here
A waiter walks up to a table full of Jewish women dining And says "ladies, is anything ok?"
Why do Jews get circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that's not at least 10% off.
What do Jewish pedophiles say? “Hey kid, want to buy some candy?”
A while ago I had a blind date with a Jewish girl
She asked me for my number.
I told her that we usually use names.
Why do Jewish men get circumcised as youth. Jewish women won't touch anything that's not at least 10% off.
A Jewish girl asked for my number
I told her we use names now.
No matter who wins the presidential election, it will be historic. We'll either have the first female president, the first Jewish president, the first Canadian president, or the last president.
I had a date with a jewish girl.
After date she asked me for a number.
I told her we don't have numbers, we have names.
Why are Jewish men circumsised? Because Jewish women only touch things 20% off.
I came up with this joke during lunch break: What do you call a jewish obstacle course? Shlalom
Why do Jewish men get circumcised? because Jewish women won't accept anything unless it has at least 20% off.
A Jewish woman gets up mid-flight to the US and shouts: "Is there a doctor here?"
A nice, serious guy approaches her quickly and tells her: "I am. What is the problem?"
She replies: "Do you want to meet my daughter?"
A group of Jewish women are eating at a diner. Their waitress walks by and asks "Is anything alright?"
Why do jews get their penises circumcised? Because Jewish girls won't touch anything that's not 10% off
Why are all Jewish men circumsized? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't 10% off
I met a Jewish girl today. She asked for my number. I told her we use names here.
A Jewish Black kid walks up to his dad and asks if he is more Black than Jewish.
"Why son?" The dad asks.
"Because there is a kid at school selling his bike for $50 and I was wondering if I should talk him down to $30 or just steal it."
Why don't Jewish girls study on their period? Concentration Cramps
What is the objective of jewish football? To get the quarter back.
How does a Jewish mother change a lightbulb? "No, that's all right. I'll just sit here in the dark."
Do you know why Jewish men are circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's ten percent off.
What's the point of Jewish football? To get the quarter back.
Why do jewish men get circumcised? Because a jewish woman wouldn't touch anything unless it's 20% off.
I farted in front of my Jewish friend...
He glared at me.
I said, "What? A little gas never killed anyone !"
I, too, have a Jewish friend, and he told me this one...
What's the difference between a Jewish woman and a Latina?
A Latina has fake jewelry and real orgasms.
What did the Jewish man do when he wanted tea? Hebrew.
What do Jewish pedophiles say to kids? Hey, wanna buy some candy?
My Jewish friend is going to open a coffee shop. Suggested he name it Hebrew.
Today I saw the most beautiful Jewish girl in my life She Israeli preety.
Do you guys have idea how hard it is to make a good Jewish joke? Actually, Israeli easy.
Whats the difference between a Muslim hippie and a Jewish hippie? One's stoned and one's baked.
How did the jewish boy cure his ADD? He was sent to a concentration camp
What is the objective of a Jewish football game? To get the quarter back.
Three Jewish women having lunch in a restaurant... Waiter approaches and asks, "Is anything OK here?"
What do Jewish people celebrateon Oct 31? Challah-ween.
I threw some Jewish bread at my marshmallow chicks Challah at my peeps
Where does a jewish guy's boston girlfiend go if she wants him to eat her out? The Poconos
After further examination, it was determined Abe Lincoln had actually been shot in the temple Who would have guessed he was Jewish?
Do you know why Jewish people are never cops? Because they don't deal with pigs.
As a Jewish person, I wish I did live up to our stereotypes But I’m poor and overspend
What’s a Jewish comedian’s favorite type of seafood? Fish schticks
Historians believe circumcision likely ensured the survival of the Jewish people. Its been found Jewish women can't resist anything that's 10% off.
I hate Jewish jokes. My grandfather died in the holocaust... He got drunk and fell out of the guard tower.
Which US National park is most welcoming to Arabic and the Jewish people? Yosemite.
I was sitting at the park with a friend when a man walked by...
He had on a black hat and a black robe. His sideburns were curly and his beard was long.
My friend said "That guy is Jewish"
I thought "He looks 100% to me"
Did you see the new Jewish movie? I heard Israeli good.
The 3 shortest books ever written are:
Jewish Business Ethics
Black Guys I Met While Yachting
What do you call the last answer on your Rabbi's trivia night? The Final Solution to the Jewish Question
How did the Jewish boy do on his English test? Hebrew it.
What's a Jewish kid's favorite game to play in the attic? The silent game
No need to insult the Jewish Hitler already roasted them
Jewish jokes are unfunny Anne frankly they are kind of offensive
What’s a jewish guys favorite fairy tale? Rumpleforeskin.
All my Jewish friends must have really liked their summer camps ...because they haven’t come back
Did you hear about the brand of brans that cause gase in Jewish people more then in others? it's called Heinz Hitler
I tried to set up a new summer school in Isreal ... For kids with ADHD, but now I am told the name of it, Jewish Concentration Camp won’t work 🧐
Why are Jewish funeral's so easy to plan? Because they're already cremated
A black Jewish guy asks his dad If he is more Jewish or black. His dad asks why. His son says there is a guy selling a tv down the street and he wanted to know if he should steal it or get it for half price.
How did the Jewish brewery owner make his drinks? Hebrew it
Some people complain about not being able to afford food... That’s what us Jewish just like to call an extended holiday
What do you call a Jewish theatre? A cinemagogue. Sorry, I'm not sorry
A Jewish Nursing Students Final Exam
A nursing student, by the name of Esther is at her final nursing exam.
The examiner asks Esther, "How would you bathe the genitals?"
She replies, "The same way I would bathe the jews."
So I was talking to my friend about this new Jewish state...
He didn't believe me when I initially told him,
so I said "Yeah man, Israel."
What did the Jewish Bostonian woman declare to her Sunday bridge group about her recent knitting project?
"I'm so AUtistic!"
What do Orthodox Jewish kids dress up as on Halloween? One eyed ghosts.
What do you call a family of jewish people who grow apples Apple Jews
What's the difference between a Jewish guy and a woman who makes beer? One's a Hebrew, the other's a Shebrew.
What was the Jewish Detective called? Shylock Holmes
Didn't know so many Hispanic guys were Jewish But I keep hearing them say Yahweh
My dad's Christian and my mom's jewish and they LOVE recycling... But it's a little awkward for both me and my grandad on ash wednesday. Sadly he didn't survive the holocaust.
What is the top selling protein with Jewish People (May be offensive) YahWhey
People always complain that Jewish people have all the money. Well if 6 million of your people died, you'd expect at least some inheritance
This election season has taught me a lot about what it must feel like to be a reasonable, level-headed Christian . . . You really really like this one Jewish socialist guy, but you have a really hard time tolerating most of his other fans.
Why aren't Jewish people into rap? They can't drop dimes
Why can't you insult Jewish people? Because they've already been roasted.
Seven Jewish mothers are sitting in a restaurant... and a waiter comes and asks: ''I'm sorry ladies, is *anything* all right?''
A Black Jewish Boy Runs Home To His Dad...
He asks his father, "Dad am I more Jewish or more black?"
"Why do you care?" responds the father.
"Because there is a kid selling a bike for $50 and I am considering whether to bargain for $40 or just steal it!"
Why do all Jewish guys have purple penises? Because they're all tight-fisted wankers!
What's the name of the hat Jewish people are always seen wearing? Oh yeah a Yankees hat.
Where did the Jewish boy go to get rid of his ADHD problem? Concentration Camp.