Cringe Jokes


Funniest Cringe Jokes

Confession: I believed in Santa Claus until I was 15. I cringe at my stupidity looking back, but fortunately I've come to my senses and don't believe in silly fairy tales anymore, thank God.

Funny Cringe Jokes

What do you call an army of toddlers? Infant-ry.

*insert cringe here*

I cringe when teens brag about taking girls to pound town because adopting a puppy together is a huge responsibility.

My Russian friends cringe everytime I tell a joke... Because in Russia line punch you.

To make a better Internet, I compiled a list of scams and manipulation techniques in order to raise awareness in the most gullible users. Number 27 will make you cringe

Cringe Airlines What happens when you combine Fox News, CNN, and a Fleshlight.

You get a plane

The right wing, the left wing, and the cockpit.

What do cringe teenagers use to cut down trees? A Saw Dude

Cringe worthy joke What do you call a Japanese woman who is the victim of domestic violence?

Bitch Tempura (She's lightly battered).

Cringe Incoming What do you call a smart cylinder?

A graduated cylinder ?

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Long Cringe Jokes

First day of med school

It's the first day of med school and a teacher takes the students to a morgue. "Lesson 1: it's very important that you get used to the human body and are completely at ease with all manner of things." So he takes his finger and shoves it up a corpse's butt and pulls it out. He then puts his finger in his mouth and sucks it. "Now all of you do the same." All the students cringe as they go through one by one. "Lesson 2: It's even more important that you pay attention. You'll notice I put my index finger into the corpse and sucked my middle finger."

The orchestra's new trumpet player

A local orchestra's trumpet player just died of old age. They start auditions so they can find a new one.

The judges call in the first candidate. He walks in wearing a beautifully tailored dark tuxedo. He pulls out an incredibly expensive trumpet. His trumpet case is lined with red velvet. He brings the gold plated instrument up to his mouth and starts playing.

And wow, he's terrible. The judges cringe as he clumsily stumbles through a few messy runs. Nearly everything he plays is hideously out of tune. They send him away and bring in the next candidate.

This guy looks exactly opposite from the other guy. His hair is messy. He hasn't showered in weeks. His beard has food particles in it. He opens a crumpled brown paper bag and pulls out a rusty trumpet. He shakily puts the instrument to his lips and starts playing.

And man, *he was worse.*

The boy born as only a head...

So a boy was born with only a head, don’t question it go with it, when he turned 18 his dad took him to the pub, he drank a pint and his torso appeared, many pints later and a cloudy head later he ran into the street in a drunken haze, sadly he got hit by a bus to this the barman said to the grieving father “he shoulda’ quit whilst he was a head”
Ps sorry for cringe and punctuation!

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