It's my cake day today, so I'll give you one of my favourite jokes.
What do you call an Irish man bouncing off the walls?
Rick O Shea
A boy was born of an Indian, Chinese, Irish, and Italian grandmother...
They couldn't settle on a name, until it hit them!
They named him Ravi O. Lee
Why are Irish bankers so successful? Because their capital's always Dublin.
Why are the Irish so rich? Their capital is always Dublin. Hehe
Why are there no Irish lawyers? They can't pass the bar.
How many shots can an Irish man handle?
about 10 rounds.
Edit: (Mayweather vs McGregor)
I can make you speak Irish Say "Whale oil beef hooked" quickly
What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? There's one less drunk at the funeral.
What is the difference between an irish wedding and an irish funeral?
One fewer drunk person.
Edit: Fewer, not less
Why do the Irish only put 239 beans in their soup? Because one more and they would get too farty
What’s the difference between an irish wedding and an irish funeral? There‘s one less drunk.
An Irish guy walks out of a bar... I mean, it could happen.
What do you call three Irish lumberjacks?
Edit: Wooo gold!
The Irish must have lost so much money last night due to betting. They'll be asking to rejoin the United Kingdom later today.
What's more Irish than eating potatoes? Not eating potatoes.
What's more Irish than potatoes? No potatoes.
Two Irish men walk out of a bar Yes, it happens
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drinker
At an Irish wedding reception someone yelled:
"Would all the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living"
The bartender was nearly crushed to death.
What's the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day? Everyone wants to be Irish on Saint Patrick's Day.
Why does Irish chili only have 239 beans? Because anymore and it'd be too farty.
Why are there no Irish lawyers? You ever seen an Irishman pass a bar?
What´s the difference between an irish funeral and an irish wedding? At the funeral one person isnt drinking
I had a 7 course Irish dinner last night A 6 pack of Guinness and a potato
Did you know that Irish only put 239 beans in their chili?? If they added just one more, it would be too-farty!
Why are there only 239 beans in Irish stew? Because one more, and it'd be too farty.
What's Irish and stays out on your deck? Paddy O'furniture
What's the difference between an Irish funeral and an Irish wedding? One less drunk...
What do you call an Irish woman with one leg shorter than the other?
What do you call a Japanese woman with the same affliction?
An Irish Mexican teenager starts a job as a builder.. Only one hour into his first job he tries to hammer a nail with a screwdriver. The boss spots this and walks over to let him know he's doing it wrong. "You've got a lot to learn young Paddy Juan".
What's the difference between Martin Luther King Jr day and saint pattys day Everybody wants to be irish on saint pattys day.
An Irish guy in front of me said, "Whale-oil beef-hooked" I don't know what any of that has to do with forgetting your passport..
My DNA results came back 39% German, 27% Irish, 19% Beagle and 15% Pug. Turns out my dog licked my sample.
What do you call a fat Irish werewolf? O'beast
Please stand for the telling of the official St Patrick’s Day joke....
What’s Irish and sits on the porch?
That concludes the telling of the official St Patrick’s Day joke.
Thank you citizens you may continue with your lives...
What's the difference between Martin Luther King Jr Day and St Patrick's Day? On St Patrick's Day everyone wants to be Irish.
I recently did the Ancestry DNA testing I didn't know you're not supposed to drink anything 30 minutes prior to your saliva sample, which explains why it said I'm 100% Irish.
What's the difference between a irish wedding and an irish funeral? One person isn't drinking.
What’s the difference between St. Patrick’s Day and Martin Luther King Jr. Day? On St. Patrick’s Day, everyone wishes they were Irish.
What do the Irish call the only crocodile at the Dublin Zoo? Croc o’ d’ Isle
What do you call the Irish presidents plane Èire force one
What do the Irish have instead of Netflix & Chill? Meet & Potatoes
What liquer do most asian people like to hate? Baileys Irish ... Cream
What do you get when you cross Obama, Bruce Lee, and the Irish? Barack O’Lee
What did the Irish fraudsters call their band? Shamrock.
Why are Irish businesspeople so successful? Because their capital is doublin’.
A Scottish man, an Irish man, and a English man are all in a hot air balloon. Somehow
Little Timmy goes up to Grandpa O’Malley and says...
“Can I have 5 bucks for a guinea pig?”
Grandpa O’Malley says “here’s 10 bucks, go get yourself a nice Irish girl instead.
A Scottish man, an English man and an Irish man tell some jokes in a pub... Everyone gets arrested for racism.
What's the Name of the new irish NBA Rookie ? LePrechaun.
An St Patties day Jon
What’s the difference between st Patrick’s day, and MLK jr day????
On st Patrick’s day, everyone wishes they were Irish ☘️
An Irish man walks past a bar. He was so drunk he almost fell over it.
A 14 year old Irish boy asked his grandfather for $10
Grandfather: “What do you need it for?”
Boy: “I want to get a guinea pig”
Grandfather: “Here’s 20$, go get yourself a nice Irish girl”
An Irish man, a woman, and PETA walk into a bar. Whoops, sorry the joke already got stolen and euthanized by PETA.
An Irish man walks past a bar... that's it
Why are Irish people bad a tigronometry? Because they can't tan.
What happened to the Irish construction worker? He got hammered.
Remember it's St Patrick's day today, try and stand out from the crowd... ... wear all orange, it's also an Irish color
Since I was a kid I always wanted to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
But I guess that is just something Irish for.
EDIT: I just thought of this randomly. I'm sorry this is a horrible joke.
Ever hear the joke about the 3 Irish guys who left the pub? No? Neither have I.
What do you call a couple of Irish guys hiking in the woods? Trail micks.