Alabama Jokes

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Funniest Alabama Jokes

Funny Alabama Jokes
Score: 7769

I don't understand time zones! How is it possible that in Europe it is today.
In Australia it is tomorrow.
And in Alabama it is 1890?

Score: 4094

Roy Moore refuses to concede the Alabama Senate race. He keeps insisting that the black votes should only count for 3/5ths.

Score: 3339

Alabama changed the drinking age to 34 They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools

Score: 2703

A 5th grader from Alabama and a 5th grader from Boston got into a fight, who won? 5th grader from Alabama, because he's 18 yrs old

Score: 2639

Y'know, I was feeling sad after my crush told me that she liked me as a brother, But then I realized that she was from Alabama.

Score: 1461

Alabama has decided to force women to carry babies conceived by rape and incest, to term. Because if they didn't, the state's population would die out pretty quickly.

Score: 355

You can tell the toothbrush was invented in Alabama if it was invented anywhere else, it would've been called the teeth brush.

Score: 250

Roy Moore says he’ll bring “Alabama values” to Washington, but I’m not so sure. I mean, he sexually assaulted teenage girls... But he wasn’t related to any of ‘em!

Score: 250

There is no incest in Alabama! You can ask my dad, brother, uncle, husband, mother, sister or aunt! They are both in the living room right now.

Score: 241

Heard they weren't celebrating Christmas at the University of Alabama... Couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Score: 205

Why can't they make CSI: Alabama? Because all the DNA is the same

Score: 192

What did the Alabama Sheriff call the black man with 20 bullet holes in his back? The worst case of suicide he's ever seen.

Score: 187

Why are Alabama weddings so small? Because you only need to invite one family.

Score: 171

Why are Alabama weddings so small? They've only gotta invite one family

Score: 170

A girl from Alabama asked me if I found her attractive. I said, "You've got a face only a brother could love."

Score: 143

What does the average Alabama football player get on his SATs? Drool

Score: 130

What do you call an Alabama girl who can run faster than her brothers? A virgin.

Score: 130

Alabama. Where Ancestry and eHarmony are the same website.

Score: 113

What's something that everyone in Alabama has in common? DNA

Score: 104

I sure hope Roy Moore wins today Alabama needs a congressman who isn't afraid to get his hands on the issues before they get too big.

Score: 101

What's worse than your wife cheating on you with your brother? Your wife cheating on you with her brother.

Source: am from Alabama.

Score: 94

Alabama is so progressive that the women don't even change their last names when they get married

Score: 94

I heard Alabama changed the drinking age to 32. They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

Score: 77

What is 20ft long and has 5 teeth? The funnel cake line at the Alabama state fair

Score: 75

What did the Alabama sherriff say about the black guy with 17 bullet holes in his back? He said it was the worse case of suicide he’s ever seen

Score: 74

Stop it with the Alabama and abortions jokes. I incest that you do

Score: 73

How can ya tell a girl in Alabama is still a virgin ? ​

She can out run her brother.

Score: 73

What do they do in Alabama when their car breaks down? Build a house next to it.

Score: 72

Why are there so many unsolved murders in Alabama? Because everyone has the same DNA

Score: 72

Why is Alabama the worlds biggest sandwich? Because the whole state is inbred

Score: 63

What do people from Alabama have in common with yeast? They're both in bread

Score: 63

TIL that the toothbrush was invented in Alabama. If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called the "Teethbrush."

Score: 60

Black Guy shot 15 times by the Alabama Police Worst case of suicide they had ever seen.

Score: 54

Yesterday my crush told me that “I was like a brother to her” I was sad at first then I remember She was from Alabama

Score: 47

Roy Moore refuses to concede the Alabama Election It's almost as if he doesn't understand that no means no!

Score: 45

Why don't they do the reverse cowgirl in Alabama? You don't turn your back on family.

Score: 32

Why did all the students from Alabama skip the archaeology lecture? They were already experts in relative dating.

Score: 17

Did you know the toothbrush was invented in Alabama? Otherwise it would have been called a teethbrush.

Score: 17

What do you call a man who molests little girls? Alabama's next senator.

Score: 14

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New Alabama Jokes

How did Trump win Alabama? He said that he would date his own daughter.

Score: 4

There is a new app for Alabama residents. It’s called “Only Fams”.

Score: 1

Why do Alabama marriages never end up in a divorce? Because no matter what happens, they forgive their sibling.

Score: 0

Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama? Because you should ***never turn your back on family.***

Score: 0

A young Alabama couple enjoyed an early morning meal after making love... It was breakfast inbred.

Score: 0

What the similarity between Alabama and Alabama babies? There both not fully developed

Score: 0

Why do southerners hate Alabama jokes They find them very. . . Relatable

Score: 0

...a neutron walks into a bar. **Neutron:** ...I'll have an Alabama Slammer!

**Bartender:** ...no charge!

Score: 1

Family reunions must be hard in Alabama. All your ex’s together in one place, big yikes.

Score: 4

Why is Rocket City located in Alabama? Because inbreds only poke around in family business.

Score: 2

Why did the Alabama strip club close? They lost too much money from the family discount.

Score: 13

What do you call a family gathering in Alabama An orgy. I know. It’s bad. Get over it.

Score: 2

What has thin orange skin, and knew that Alabama was not in the path of a hurricane? A peach

Score: 2

Why don't murders get solved in Alabama Because there are no dental records, and everyone's DNA matches.

Score: 7

A scientist from Alabama once said Everyone is a relative.

Score: 3

What did the Alabama sheriff say about the African-American man found shot six times in the back? "Worst case o' suicide I ever done seen!"

Score: 3

Why are there no spaceports in Alabama Because you can't abort the countdown for any reason.

Score: 1

We all know the phrase “You’re like a brother to me”, and we know that we don’t want to hear it from our crush, meaning we are put into the friend zone. But in Alabama, that phrase is what gets them laid.

Score: 0

A brother and sister, and husband and wife, are sitting in the living room listening to the radio. Suddenly, “Sweet Home Alabama” started playing. The two looked at each other and exclaimed, “Our song!”

Score: 5

How's a tornado in a bad neighborhood like an Alabama divorce? Either way, someone's loosing a trailer.

Score: 9

Alabama just passed a law banning abortion even in cases of rape and incest Without rape or incest, would Alabama even exist?

Score: 13

How do perform circumcision in Alabama? Kick their sister in the chin

Score: 1

What did the geese say to the ducks from Alabama? When did you get so interbred?

Score: 4

Whats Alabama state food? Jelly from a PB&J sandwich

Score: 1

What do they call Mother's Day in Alabama? Date night!

Score: 2

Mississippi, Alabama, and Georgia rice-growing is at an all-time low But the South will rice again

Score: 2

How many Republican candidates does it take to lose a Senate race in Alabama? One Moore.

Score: 3

Calls that Roy Moore would win the election were... Pre-mature


Big shoutout to Alabama though for not becoming the joke of the whole country

Score: 2

Why did the Alabama conservative Christian politician vote against abortion? There will be Moore children to rape.

EDIT: Credit to /u/shahooster for completing the joke.

Score: 13

The forecast in Alabama is favoring Roy Moore... The temperature is dipping into the teens.

Score: 1

Upon learning that the National Mall isn't really a mall Roy Moore dropped out of Alabama senate race

Score: 2

Have you heard that the weather forecast in Alabama now favors Roy Moore? It’s expected to dip into the teens

Score: 5

Roy Moore has quit the Alabama senate race. He's opening a Comet Ping-Pong franchise.

Score: 2

Did you guys hear about the Alabama senate race? So far the Democrat leads by 8 points. If the lead goes into the 12-14 range, Roy Moore might want to date it.

Score: 3

What do you yell when you are on a tunpike in Alabama? Toll Ride!

Score: 0

How come there was no damage the night the stars fell on Alabama? Because the state was moved aside. Haven't you heard of Mobile Alabama?

The people responsible for that feat of engineering later brought us Wheeling West Virginia.

Score: 2

Where do guys from Alabama pick up girls? The family reunion.

Score: 3

TIL the toothbrush was invented in Alabama... If it had been invented somewhere else they would have called it the teethbrush.

Score: 2

What's the politically correct term for a swingers party in Alabama? A lynching.

Score: 1

What's a monks favorite song? Sweet Ohm Alabama.

Score: 1

Did you hear about the fire at the Governor's mansion in Alabama? The whole trailer park burned down.

Score: 3

How long does it take to get from Louisiana to Alabama? One Mississippi.

Score: 14

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