I don't understand time zones!
How is it possible that in Europe it is today.
In Australia it is tomorrow.
And in Alabama it is 1890?
Roy Moore refuses to concede the Alabama Senate race. He keeps insisting that the black votes should only count for 3/5ths.
A 5th grader from Alabama and a 5th grader from Boston got into a fight, who won? 5th grader from Alabama, because he's 18 yrs old
Alabama has decided to force women to carry babies conceived by rape and incest, to term. Because if they didn't, the state's population would die out pretty quickly.
You can tell the toothbrush was invented in Alabama if it was invented anywhere else, it would've been called the teeth brush.
What did the Alabama Sheriff call the black man with 20 bullet holes in his back? The worst case of suicide he's ever seen.
My friend in Alabama lost his Mom, his Sister, and his Wife in a car accident. He really loved that woman.
A girl from Alabama asked me if I found her attractive. I said, "You've got a face only a brother could love."
What's Alabama like? My new company owner is from there. Seems friendly, he said he's going to treat us employees like we was family?
I sure hope Roy Moore wins today Alabama needs a congressman who isn't afraid to get his hands on the issues before they get too big.
Alabama is so progressive that the women don't even change their last names when they get married
I heard Alabama changed the drinking age to 32. They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
What did the Alabama sherriff say about the black guy with 17 bullet holes in his back? He said it was the worse case of suicide he’s ever seen
Why we don't do reverse cowgirl in Alabama. Down here in Alabama we don't ever do "Reverse Cowgirl". Because we never turn our back on family!
I’m surprised the University of Alabama doesn’t offer a major in archaeology. I heard they are really into relative dating out there.
Why do University of Alabama graduates place their diplomas on their rear-view mirrors? So they can park in handicap spots.
What did the Alabama cop say about the black man shot 16 times? Worst case of suicide I've ever seen.
I asked my 32 year old friend from Alabama why he's still a virgin. He said "I was an only child"
Yesterday my crush told me that “I was like a brother to her” I was sad at first then I remember She was from Alabama
Roy Moore refuses to concede the Alabama Election It's almost as if he doesn't understand that no means no!
How do they determine the homecoming queen and valedictorian in Alabama high schools? The homecoming queen is the girl with the most teeth, and the valedictorian is the person who could count them all.
The toothbrush was invented in Alabama If it were invented anywhere else they would have called it a teethbrush.
Alabama family reunions It has been reported that COVID-19 has greatly reduced family reunions due to social distancing requirements. Evidently this has caused a significant decrease in Alabama teen pregnancy.
One benefit of everyone staying at home is that teenage pregnancy is down
except in Alabama
Why did the Alabama family pay for their daughter’s butt implants? It was a decision they could all get behind
Only in Alabama When your girlfriend insists on coming to your family reunion because she is afraid you'll cheat.
Two 5th graders got into a fight.
One was from Alabama and one was a transfer student from NY. Who won?
The 5th grader from Alabama, because he is 18 years old.
Why do Alabama marriages never end up in a divorce? Because no matter what happens, they forgive their sibling.
Court declares social distancing rules unenforceable in Alabama The Judge wrote in his opinion that "the entire state's population can be reasonably considered a family unit."
What did former Alabama Senator Roy Moore say about coronavirus? It's called COVID-19, means I ain't gettin' it.
A young Alabama couple enjoyed an early morning meal after making love... It was breakfast inbred.
Scientists find a man immune to Covid-19 because of a genetic mutation They conclude that 1/2 of the population in Alabama are immune to Covid-19.
A man from Alabama opened his fridge...
He looked around inside, closed the fridge and yelled to his wife:
"Honey! We're out of bread!"
The wife came into the room with a new loaf.
"Don't worry," she said. "We're in bread."
An Alabama man kills his wife, sister, mother, niece, daughter, and aunt. How many people die?
A kid from Alabama had to do a project on his family tree He brought a ladder to school the next day
My friend had a date with a guy from Alabama yesterday. He told her it wouldn't work out, he is not a family type.
Why couldn't the detective solve the Alabama murder case despite having the dna samples It matched with everyone
FYI: Toothbrush was invented in Alabama If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called Teethbtush.
Time zones are weird - Australia is in 2020. America is in 2019.. Des Moines is in 1998, Alabama in 1865, Saudi Arabia 1576.
...a neutron walks into a bar.
**Neutron:** ...I'll have an Alabama Slammer!
**Bartender:** ...no charge!
A man in Alabama was arrested for murdering his wife, Sister and Cousin He was charged with one count of murder