I don't understand time zones!
How is it possible that in Europe it is today.
In Australia it is tomorrow.
And in Alabama it is 1890?
Roy Moore refuses to concede the Alabama Senate race. He keeps insisting that the black votes should only count for 3/5ths.
Alabama changed the drinking age to 34 They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools
A 5th grader from Alabama and a 5th grader from Boston got into a fight, who won? 5th grader from Alabama, because he's 18 yrs old
Y'know, I was feeling sad after my crush told me that she liked me as a brother, But then I realized that she was from Alabama.
Alabama has decided to force women to carry babies conceived by rape and incest, to term. Because if they didn't, the state's population would die out pretty quickly.
You can tell the toothbrush was invented in Alabama if it was invented anywhere else, it would've been called the teeth brush.
Roy Moore says he’ll bring “Alabama values” to Washington, but I’m not so sure. I mean, he sexually assaulted teenage girls... But he wasn’t related to any of ‘em!
There is no incest in Alabama! You can ask my dad, brother, uncle, husband, mother, sister or aunt! They are both in the living room right now.
Heard they weren't celebrating Christmas at the University of Alabama... Couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
Why can't they make CSI: Alabama? Because all the DNA is the same
What did the Alabama Sheriff call the black man with 20 bullet holes in his back? The worst case of suicide he's ever seen.
Why are Alabama weddings so small? Because you only need to invite one family.
Why are Alabama weddings so small? They've only gotta invite one family
A girl from Alabama asked me if I found her attractive. I said, "You've got a face only a brother could love."
What does the average Alabama football player get on his SATs? Drool
What do you call an Alabama girl who can run faster than her brothers? A virgin.
Alabama. Where Ancestry and eHarmony are the same website.
What's something that everyone in Alabama has in common? DNA
I sure hope Roy Moore wins today Alabama needs a congressman who isn't afraid to get his hands on the issues before they get too big.
What's worse than your wife cheating on you with your brother?
Your wife cheating on you with her brother.
Source: am from Alabama.
Alabama is so progressive that the women don't even change their last names when they get married
I heard Alabama changed the drinking age to 32. They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
What is 20ft long and has 5 teeth? The funnel cake line at the Alabama state fair
What did the Alabama sherriff say about the black guy with 17 bullet holes in his back? He said it was the worse case of suicide he’s ever seen
Stop it with the Alabama and abortions jokes. I incest that you do
How can ya tell a girl in Alabama is still a virgin ?
She can out run her brother.
What do they do in Alabama when their car breaks down? Build a house next to it.
Why are there so many unsolved murders in Alabama? Because everyone has the same DNA
What is the similarity between a tornado in Alabama, and a divorce in Alabama? No matter how you look at it, somebody is losing a trailer.
In Alabama, when served rolls, they never serve the butter on the side. Because they like it inbread.
Why doesn't Alabama have calculus teachers. They don't like integration.
The toothbrush must had been invented in Alabama or Mississippi... Because anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush.
Why don't they do the reverse cowgirl in Alabama? You don't turn your back on family.
What did the Alabama sheriff call the black man that got shot 20 times? The worst case of suicide he’s ever seen.
Did you hear about the manned rocket that crashed shortly after launching from Alabama? All the system warnings went off, but for some reason the pilot could not abort.
The toothbrush was invented in Huntsville, Alabama... Otherwise it would have been called "the teethbrush."
I'm going to open a strip club in Alabama... I'm going to name it Cousins.
What did the Alabama Sheriff say about the black man that was stabbed seventy times? Worse case of suicide he's ever seen
What's the best thing about growing up in Florida vs growing up in Alabama? You don't have your mom saying how your brother is always better at everything. He's got a great job, great house, better kisser, and a middle school degree.
Why don't people in Alabama do the reverse cowgirl? Because they don't turn their back on family
There is a new app for Alabama residents. It’s called “Only Fams”.
Two 5th graders got into a fight.
One was from Alabama and one was a transfer student from NY. Who won?
The 5th grader from Alabama, because he is 18 years old.
Why do Alabama marriages never end up in a divorce? Because no matter what happens, they forgive their sibling.
A young Alabama couple enjoyed an early morning meal after making love... It was breakfast inbred.
Why do southerners hate Alabama jokes They find them very. . . Relatable
Family reunions must be hard in Alabama. All your ex’s together in one place, big yikes.
Why is Rocket City located in Alabama? Because inbreds only poke around in family business.
Why cant girls from Alabama do reverse cowgirl? Cause you never turn your back on family
A scientist from Alabama once said Everyone is a relative.
In Alabama we don’t do reverse cowgirl You don’t turn your back on family
We all know the phrase “You’re like a brother to me”, and we know that we don’t want to hear it from our crush, meaning we are put into the friend zone. But in Alabama, that phrase is what gets them laid.
A brother and sister, and husband and wife, are sitting in the living room listening to the radio. Suddenly, “Sweet Home Alabama” started playing. The two looked at each other and exclaimed, “Our song!”
Why do people from Alabama never try reverse cowgirl They never turn their back on family
It wouldnt be a true Alabama wedding without a speech from the father Of the bride and groom.
What do you call a swinger's party in Alabama? A family reunion.
A man sees a girl in the bar and decides to drop a pickup line
Him: Are you from Tennessee? Cause you’re the only Ten-I-See!
Her: Are you from Alabama? Cause I’m your sister.
Why don't peoplw from Alabama like reverse cowgirl? You never turn your back on family.
Whats Alabama state food? Jelly from a PB&J sandwich
What is Alabama's favorite flavor? Pumpkin Spice
They don't do reverse cowgirl in Alabama... You never turn your back on family.
We never do the reverse cowgirl in Alabama We never turn our backs on family.
You know why they don’t do reverse cowgirl in Alabama? Because they never turn their backs on family
Little Hunter, the boy with a lisp, comes home to the trailer park from his first day of school in Alabama.
Dad: "Yee son how'skool!?"
Hunter: "I don' hav' a pwoblem, at least my classmates awe allwhite."
Dad: "Hahaaarr, that's my boy!"
Whats the same about a non-married couple from Alabama? Their last name
How many Alabama football players does it take to change a light bulb? The entire team, and they all get a semester's credit for it.
Calls that Roy Moore would win the election were...
Big shoutout to Alabama though for not becoming the joke of the whole country
Did you guys hear about the Alabama senate race? So far the Democrat leads by 8 points. If the lead goes into the 12-14 range, Roy Moore might want to date it.
Where are you from? Born inbred in Alabama
She told me she loved me like a brother But it was okay.....she was from Alabama
What do you yell when you are on a tunpike in Alabama? Toll Ride!
People of Alabama have summer teeth. Summer there. Summer not.
A tropical storm goes through Mississippi and Alabama and becomes a tropical depression.
Hurricane Nate is said to go straight North from The Gulf in to Alabama Experts say it will cause millions of dollars worth of improvement.
How come there was no damage the night the stars fell on Alabama?
Because the state was moved aside. Haven't you heard of Mobile Alabama?
The people responsible for that feat of engineering later brought us Wheeling West Virginia.
Where do guys from Alabama pick up girls? The family reunion.
TIL the toothbrush was invented in Alabama... If it had been invented somewhere else they would have called it the teethbrush.
How does a guy from Alabama break up with his girlfriend? It's over, and I'm sorry. I hope we can still be cousins.
Y'all heard about the state gourd of Alabama? The pump-kin...
I met a girl from Alabama and I almost married her But I figured if she wasn't good enough for her family she wasn't good enough for me.
Did you know that Alabama has the highest average GPA in the USA? It's got 4 A's and a B.
An Alabama married couple moves to New York and gets a divorce Are they still brother and sister?
Did you hear about the winner of the Alabama state beauty contest? Me neither.
What do you call a 13 year old girl from Alabama who can outrun her whole family A virgin
How do you circumcise a guy in Alabama? You kick her sister in the chin!
I've got an idea for a new reality show set in an Alabama bakery. It's name? In-breads
I was trying to get out of the friend zone with a girl. She put me in the brother zone... Good thing I live in Alabama!
How do Alabama parents teach their kids to put on their underwear? Yellow in the front, brown in the back.
What did the Alabama sherriff call the black man who had been shot 15 times? The worst case of suicide he had ever seen.