Alabama Jokes


Funniest Alabama Jokes

Funny Alabama Jokes
Score: 7769

I don't understand time zones! How is it possible that in Europe it is today.
In Australia it is tomorrow.
And in Alabama it is 1890?

Score: 4094

Roy Moore refuses to concede the Alabama Senate race. He keeps insisting that the black votes should only count for 3/5ths.

Score: 3339

Alabama changed the drinking age to 34 They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools

Score: 2703

A 5th grader from Alabama and a 5th grader from Boston got into a fight, who won? 5th grader from Alabama, because he's 18 yrs old

Score: 2639

Y'know, I was feeling sad after my crush told me that she liked me as a brother, But then I realized that she was from Alabama.

Score: 1461

Alabama has decided to force women to carry babies conceived by rape and incest, to term. Because if they didn't, the state's population would die out pretty quickly.

Score: 355

You can tell the toothbrush was invented in Alabama if it was invented anywhere else, it would've been called the teeth brush.

Score: 250

Roy Moore says he’ll bring “Alabama values” to Washington, but I’m not so sure. I mean, he sexually assaulted teenage girls... But he wasn’t related to any of ‘em!

Score: 250

There is no incest in Alabama! You can ask my dad, brother, uncle, husband, mother, sister or aunt! They are both in the living room right now.

Score: 241

Heard they weren't celebrating Christmas at the University of Alabama... Couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Score: 205

Why can't they make CSI: Alabama? Because all the DNA is the same

Score: 192

What did the Alabama Sheriff call the black man with 20 bullet holes in his back? The worst case of suicide he's ever seen.

Score: 187

Why are Alabama weddings so small? Because you only need to invite one family.

Score: 171

Why are Alabama weddings so small? They've only gotta invite one family

Score: 170

A girl from Alabama asked me if I found her attractive. I said, "You've got a face only a brother could love."

Score: 143

What does the average Alabama football player get on his SATs? Drool

Score: 130

What do you call an Alabama girl who can run faster than her brothers? A virgin.

Score: 130

Alabama. Where Ancestry and eHarmony are the same website.

Score: 113

What's something that everyone in Alabama has in common? DNA

Score: 104

I sure hope Roy Moore wins today Alabama needs a congressman who isn't afraid to get his hands on the issues before they get too big.

Score: 101

What's worse than your wife cheating on you with your brother? Your wife cheating on you with her brother.

Source: am from Alabama.

Score: 94

Alabama is so progressive that the women don't even change their last names when they get married

Score: 94

I heard Alabama changed the drinking age to 32. They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

Score: 77

What is 20ft long and has 5 teeth? The funnel cake line at the Alabama state fair

Score: 75

What did the Alabama sherriff say about the black guy with 17 bullet holes in his back? He said it was the worse case of suicide he’s ever seen

Score: 74

Stop it with the Alabama and abortions jokes. I incest that you do

Score: 73

How can ya tell a girl in Alabama is still a virgin ? ​

She can out run her brother.

Score: 73

What do they do in Alabama when their car breaks down? Build a house next to it.

Score: 72

Why are there so many unsolved murders in Alabama? Because everyone has the same DNA

Score: 72

TIL that the toothbrush was invented in Alabama. If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called the "Teethbrush."

Score: 60

The toothbrush must had been invented in Alabama or Mississippi... Because anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush.

Score: 37

Why don't they do the reverse cowgirl in Alabama? You don't turn your back on family.

Score: 32

Did you hear about the manned rocket that crashed shortly after launching from Alabama? All the system warnings went off, but for some reason the pilot could not abort.

Score: 21

They don't do reverse cowgirl in Alabama... You never turn your back on family.

Score: 14

Why cant girls from Alabama do reverse cowgirl? Cause you never turn your back on family

Score: 11

How many Alabama football players does it take to change a light bulb? The entire team, and they all get a semester's credit for it.

Score: 9

Why don't peoplw from Alabama like reverse cowgirl? You never turn your back on family.

Score: 8

We never do the reverse cowgirl in Alabama We never turn our backs on family.

Score: 6

Why don't people in Alabama do the reverse cowgirl? Because they don't turn their back on family

Score: 6

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New Alabama Jokes

What's the best thing about growing up in Florida vs growing up in Alabama? You don't have your mom saying how your brother is always better at everything. He's got a great job, great house, better kisser, and a middle school degree.

Score: 2

There is a new app for Alabama residents. It’s called “Only Fams”.

Score: 1

Two 5th graders got into a fight. One was from Alabama and one was a transfer student from NY. Who won?

The 5th grader from Alabama, because he is 18 years old.

Score: 4

Why do Alabama marriages never end up in a divorce? Because no matter what happens, they forgive their sibling.

Score: 0

A young Alabama couple enjoyed an early morning meal after making love... It was breakfast inbred.

Score: 0

Why do southerners hate Alabama jokes They find them very. . . Relatable

Score: 0

Family reunions must be hard in Alabama. All your ex’s together in one place, big yikes.

Score: 4

Why is Rocket City located in Alabama? Because inbreds only poke around in family business.

Score: 2

A scientist from Alabama once said Everyone is a relative.

Score: 3

In Alabama we don’t do reverse cowgirl You don’t turn your back on family

Score: 4

We all know the phrase “You’re like a brother to me”, and we know that we don’t want to hear it from our crush, meaning we are put into the friend zone. But in Alabama, that phrase is what gets them laid.

Score: 0

A brother and sister, and husband and wife, are sitting in the living room listening to the radio. Suddenly, “Sweet Home Alabama” started playing. The two looked at each other and exclaimed, “Our song!”

Score: 5

Why do people from Alabama never try reverse cowgirl They never turn their back on family

Score: 4

It wouldnt be a true Alabama wedding without a speech from the father Of the bride and groom.

Score: 2

What do you call a swinger's party in Alabama? A family reunion.

Score: 3

A man sees a girl in the bar and decides to drop a pickup line Him: Are you from Tennessee? Cause you’re the only Ten-I-See!
Her: Are you from Alabama? Cause I’m your sister.

Score: 4

Whats Alabama state food? Jelly from a PB&J sandwich

Score: 1

What is Alabama's favorite flavor? Pumpkin Spice

Score: 1

You know why they don’t do reverse cowgirl in Alabama? Because they never turn their backs on family

Score: 3

Little Hunter, the boy with a lisp, comes home to the trailer park from his first day of school in Alabama. Dad: "Yee son how'skool!?"

Hunter: "I don' hav' a pwoblem, at least my classmates awe allwhite."

Dad: "Hahaaarr, that's my boy!"

Score: 1

Whats the same about a non-married couple from Alabama? Their last name

Score: 1

Calls that Roy Moore would win the election were... Pre-mature

Big shoutout to Alabama though for not becoming the joke of the whole country

Score: 2

Did you guys hear about the Alabama senate race? So far the Democrat leads by 8 points. If the lead goes into the 12-14 range, Roy Moore might want to date it.

Score: 3

How come there was no damage the night the stars fell on Alabama? Because the state was moved aside. Haven't you heard of Mobile Alabama?

The people responsible for that feat of engineering later brought us Wheeling West Virginia.

Score: 2

TIL the toothbrush was invented in Alabama... If it had been invented somewhere else they would have called it the teethbrush.

Score: 2

I've got an idea for a new reality show set in an Alabama bakery. It's name? In-breads

Score: 2

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