Tennis Jokes

Contents

Funniest Tennis Jokes

Funny Tennis Jokes
Score: 2034

My girlfriend told me love means nothing to her That's what I get for dating a tennis player.

Score: 1017

Never date a tennis player. To them love means nothing.

Score: 965

Never ever marry a tennis player Love means nothing to them

Score: 776

Never marry a tennis player... Love means nothing to them.

Score: 637

A tennis ball walks into a restaurant.... a waiter asks: "Have you been served?"

Score: 450

Why shouldn't you date a tennis player? Because love means nothing to them!

Score: 398

I had to break up with my tennis player girlfriend Love meant nothing to her

Score: 337

Never go out with a tennis player Love means nothing to them.

Score: 270

Why should you never date a tennis player? Because love means nothing to them.

Score: 232

Did you know that if all the capillaries of a human lung were rolled out onto a tennis court... The game would likely be cancelled

Score: 213

What do you call a girl who stands in the middle of a tennis court? Annette.

Score: 197

Why should you never marry a tennis player? Because to tennis players, love means nothing.

Score: 185

What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? Endless love

Score: 183

A cheating husband decided to write this letter to his wife: "My Dear Wife,

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, as a 54 year-old, can no longer satisfy.

I'm very happy with you and I value you as a good
wife. However, after reading this letter, I hope you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year-old secretary at the Comfort Inn. Please don't be upset, I shall
be back before midnight."

When the man came home late that night, he found a reply to his letter on the dining room table:

"My Dear Husband,

I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this
opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old.

I would like to inform you that, while you read this, I
will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my
students, who is also an assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile and, like your secretary, he is 18.

You, being a successful businessman with an excellent knowledge of maths, will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference -- 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18!

See you in a week's time!''

Score: 171

Never mary a tennis player... Love means nothing to them,

Score: 143

I lost my job as a waiter when I served one of the customers his food. On the downside, I got chicken all over my tennis racket.

Score: 120

I once dated a professional tennis player... But I had to end it when I realised love meant nothing to her.

Score: 119

What does love mean to a tennis player? Nothing

Score: 87

Never get into a romantic relationship with a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.

Score: 84

Why did the blonde enter the tennis courts naked? Because the sign said tennis shoes only

Score: 81

What's worse than tennis elbow? Golf Balls

Score: 75

Never date a tennis player... because love means nothing to them.

Score: 72

I was dating a tennis player, but then she cheated on me For a while I was at my break point until I realized it wasn’t my fault. Love means nothing to them.

Score: 72

Don’t ever get into a romantic relationship with a tennis player... Love means nothing to them.

Score: 69

Why shouldn’t you marry a tennis player? “Love” means nothing to them.

Score: 63

I've just got back from a funeral of a friend who was killed after being hit in the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.

Score: 58

Have you ever played quiet tennis? It's just like regular tennis but without the racquet.

Score: 49

Never fall for a tennis player... Love means nothing to them.

Score: 46

Selling all of my old tennis equipment but I can't figure out What's the net worth?

Score: 45

Why should you never date a tennis player? Love means nothing to them.

Score: 44

Have you ever played quiet tennis? It's like regular tennis but without the racket.

Score: 39

What do you call a girl who's sitting in the middle of a tennis court? Annette.

Score: 37

Why shouldn't you marry a tennis player? Because Love means Nothing to them.

Score: 37

Why do tennis players have a high divorce rate? Love means nothing to them

Score: 35

Why do women sound like they're having orgasms when the play tennis? And, why does my mother play tennis in the bathroom?

Score: 34

I wrote a book called Endless Love It’s about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller

Score: 32

Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts? He couldn't stand all the racket!

Score: 30

How many magazines do you need to buy to get a pair of tennis shoes? Ten issues.

Score: 29

What do you call a girl in the middle of a tennis court? Annette.

Score: 26

My wife got knocked up by her tennis instructor. Serves her right.

Score: 25

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New Tennis Jokes

My tennis career has taught me that I can be the best basketball player ever Nothing but net

Score: 15

Why you should never date a tennis player Because love means nothing to them

Score: 3

I recently found out that my ex-wife died while playing a game of tennis Served her right

Score: 1

A tennis ball walked into a bar It was served right away

Score: 9

My dad told me that on their walk today my dog was able to retrieve a tennis ball that landed 2 miles away Sounds far fetched

Score: 4

A zero-score in Tennis is called Love after the French word l'oeuf which means 'egg' after the shape of the number. I guess you could say having zero points in tennis gives people le oof.

Score: 1

Why are tennis players always hugging? Because they always start their matches at love all

(A joke from my Alexa)

Score: 3

What's the definition of endless love? Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing a tennis match.

Score: 3

Two guys are chatting at the gym, and the first guy says to the second "what's that bulge in your pants?" The second guy replies: "Tennis ball."

The first guy thinks about it for a second and says, "ouch. I had tennis elbow once."

Score: 10

My tennis player girlfriend broke up with me I guess love meant nothing to her

Score: 6

A fan has paid $85,000 for a dinner date with tennis star Eugenie Bouchard I don't think he knows what he's getting himself into. I went out with a tennis player once but love means nothing to them

Score: 1

Why do you never date a tennis player? Love means nothing to them

Score: 2

I enjoyed a game of quiet tennis today... It’s just like regular tennis, but without the racket...

Score: 6

The depressing thing about playing tennis is..... No matter how much you practice, you'll never be as good as a wall.

Score: 2

Just got back from my mate's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball.
It was a lovely service.

Score: 6

Dog Years Are Bullshit Dog years are bullshit. My dogs 10 and she still chases tennis balls when I throw them. When my grandma was 70 and I threw a tennis ball and told her to get it she smacked me in the head and walked away muttering.

Score: 16

As a tennis ball falls off a table, a golf ball shouts a question, "Are you going to be ok?" The tennis ball replies, "Of course. I'll bounce back."

Score: 4

I was cheated on by a tennis player... Should’ve seen it coming. Love means nothing to them.

Score: 16

Have you heard about that new place in town that makes Tennis Bats? Apparently people have been complaining because they make a Racket.

Score: 1

Dating a female tennis player is always a good idea. They've got good aces.

Score: 3

I’d never date a tennis player Love means nothing to them

Score: 15

While getting ready to go play outside with my kids, my wife asked me "Do you have tennis shoes?" I responded, "No, I only have 9 issues."

Score: 2

I'll never marry a tennis player Love means nothing to them

Score: 10

Never date a professional tennis player Love means nothing to them

Score: 2

What’s a tennis player’s favorite type of ice cream? Soft serve

Score: 2

what do you call it when Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles have a tennis match? Endless love.

Score: 3

What do you call a tennis match between Ray Charles & Stevie Wonder? Endless love

Score: 15

It costs a lot to use the tennis courts in my city It’s a tennis racket

Score: 2

Tennis players yell so loud when they hit. I mean, really. What’s with all the racquet?

Score: 4

Why can’t tennis players be in relationships? Because love means nothing to them.

Score: 5

I just came back from a coworker's funeral who died when he was hit on the head by a tennis ball.. It was a lovely service..

Score: 5

I had a tennis ball that was addicted to heroin But he bounced back

Score: 7

5 people have been killed in South Africa after a hailstorm with hail the size of tennis balls. Ices have claimed responsibility.

Score: 2

I used to date a tennis player... But love meant nothing to her.

Score: 5

Did you hear about the time when a giant ape started a brawl over the use of a table tennis table in a karaoke bar? King Kong, ping pong, sing song, ding dong.

Score: 1

How do you trick a guy into going to a tennis match? Tell him it’s a women’s singles event.

Score: 8

Why isn’t it wise to date a tennis player? Love means nothing to them.

Score: 3

I got some tennis experience last night Had popped two viagras, to surprise my wife, but she never came home.

Didnt want to waste them.

Score: 1

The Tennis Playing Midget Did you hear about the midget who died playing tennis? He fell off the ping pong table.

Score: 2

I want to win the Wimbledon Tennis World Championship When some asks me how I did it I’d respond with “I scored more points than my opponents, it’s not racket science”

Score: 1

What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court? Anette

Score: 20

Why should you not marry a tennis player? Because love means nothing to them.

Score: 1

They say I’m too indecisive to be a tennis umpire but I still haven’t ruled it out.

Score: 2

A tennis player is leaving the court and and a guy walks up to him “Hey what’s all that in your pocket?” He says “It’s tennis balls” They guy says “Well, if it’s anything like tennis elbow, it must be painful!”

Score: 23

A tennis ball walks into a bar... The bar man asks: “have you been served?”

Score: 14

Never fall for a tennis player, for them, love means nothing.

Score: 17

You should never date a Tennis player Love means nothing to them

Score: 14

Three old men in a car Three old men are in a car on their way to see a tennis match.

After a couple of hours of driving, the first man asks, "Is this Wembley?"

The second man says, "No, it's Thursday."

The third man says, "So am I, let's stop and get a drink!"

Score: 3

Why would a tennis player make a good dad? He would have a good backhand

Score: 2

NEVER, I REPEAT NEVER MARRY A TENNIS PLAYER! Love means nothing to them

Score: 12

What do you call a tennis player who never wraps it up Andy Roddick

Score: 1

I dated a tennis player but it didn't work out. Love meant nothing to him.

Score: 3

It was time to take my noisy tennis equipment making business elsewhere The neighbours threatened to report me for making a racket.

Score: 7

Im never dating a tennis player again. Love means nothing to them.

Score: 19

What do you call a woman in the middle of a tennis court? Annette.

Score: 3

You should never have a tennis player as a girlfriend Because love means nothing to them

Score: 10

I used to date a tennis player. Love meant nothing to her.

Score: 4

What do you call a female tennis player with no furniture? Martina Neverhadasofa

Score: 1

My wife was disappointed to find out the real reason why my nickname in college was “The Love Machine" It’s because I sucked at tennis

Score: 12

This one was from my teacher (Dont judge me) "I went to a buffet party and I was dressed as a tennis ball costume.
We went to the lines to have food.
I was the first to get served."

Score: 4

No matter how good you are at tennis You’ll never be as good as a wall

Score: 2

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