Depression Jokes

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Funniest Depression Jokes

My friend, Karen, and I visited a place you can stand in three states at once: Oklahoma, Kansas and Missouri. Karen opened up that she was actually in a fourth state: crippling depression. I said, "I'm so sorry" "...but you can't count Missouri twice."

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Depression/suicide jokes are basically yo mama jokes of our generation — they're lazy, unfunny and useless Just like me

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I wanted to build my career on making chemistry jokes to cure my depression. Then I realized alcohol is a solution.

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What’s the best way to overcome depression? Love it, so it leaves you as well.

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Did you know Nebraska has the highest level of depression and extra-marital activity? It's a sad state of affairs.

Credit: Paul Savage

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Funny Depression Jokes
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My therapist said the best treatment for depression is to vigorously rub salt into my skin in order to draw out excess moisture. Wow thanks I'm cured.

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Name a popular state that most people live in. Depression

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Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance Saturday, Sunday

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They say, you are what you eat. Idk man, i dont remember eating depression.

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Oregon leads America in both marital infidelity and clinical depression. What a sad state of affairs.

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Doctor said getting some natural light would help with my depression. Now I'm depressed *and* hung over.

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My grandpa always said... They were so poor, if he wasn't born a boy during the Depression, he would of had nothing to play with.

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The cure for my depression is right around the corner. Yes, here comes my train now.

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I have a cross eyed friend who just got diagnosed with depression. Makes sense because he never looks forward to anything.

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After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, Forget it.....Soldier on!

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A Russian doctor is treating his patient. *"Take this for insomnia... take this for depression... and take this for anxiety."*

*"Thank you Doctor, but do you have any other medicine besides Vodka?"*

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I really hope this country doesn't slip into depression... Because if it does Trump will make sure it is the *Greatest* depression it has ever seen.

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My cross-eyed friend was just diagnosed with depression. I'm not surprised - he never looks forward to anything.

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Russian pharmacy Doctor: This medicine is from insomnia, this one is from nervous break-down, and also take this one from depression.

Patient: Thank you very much, doctor, but do you have any other medicine besides vodka?

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Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail? It's pretty much a downward spiral.

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What are lesbians prescribed for depression? tricoxagin

(say it a couple times you'll figure it out)

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Upvotes are like a Russian tank turret. More protection, less depression.

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Name a state that most people live in? Depression.

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What's the difference between crippling depression and crippled depression? One can't get out of bed because they're depressed, the other is depressed because they can't get out of bed.

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What do you call symptoms of depression? "Blues Clues"

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Whenever I tell people about my depression they always say the same thing Sir, this is a wendy’s drivethrough

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A man is at the airport. The airline attendant asks the man, "Do you have any baggage?" He replies, "I haven't talked to my parents in 3 years, I have depression, and I'm still a virgin."

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A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression... It's called Trycoxagain

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Your mother is so fat that she fell into deep depression and she broke it.

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What is long, hard to handle and keeps her up all night? Clinical Depression

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Being in a state of depression is one of the worst place to find yourself. But at least it's not Mississippi.

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Michigan is leading in rates of both marital infidelity and depression. It's a sad state of affairs.

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jokes about depression used to be funny.... now they're just sad.

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Why did the sales representative quit their job? Chronic depression

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I recently moved into an apartment building that only houses people struggling with depression It's called The Inferiority Complex

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What's the difference between depression and drinking hot cocoa on a cold winter night... One's an internal struggle while the other is an internal snuggle.

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If Happiness was as easy to invoke as Hate..... I probably wouldn't have crippling depression right now.

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What my depression and ex have in common... They both want me back.

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What do you call a press that has depression DE-PRESSED. Anyone? Hello? Ok brb killing myself

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New Depression Jokes

So you know the five stages of grief? DABDA (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance) You just have to DAB DA grief away

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What do you call The Avatar ig he was born around yhe great depression? Boomer-Aang

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Depression has cured my hypochondria I no longer fear dying, even if WebMD gives me 2 days to live.

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I just read an article about Anthony (from the child band “The Wiggles”) and his struggles with depression. I guess that’s why he is the blue Wiggle.

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What do a group of goths and a isobars on a weather map have in common? They’re both linked by their depression.

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Jokes about depression are just like jokes about being black I was gonna go on a long rant but I just realized if you just change the “d” to “r” it’s the same

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If I could have an STD of my creation, I’d call it depression... Because the person would get it after we were done

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Why did Larry the gardener stay indoors on such a beautiful spring day? Crippling depression.

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When ever you feel depression coming on. Don't give in to it. Keep your head up and think of all of the people living in poverty around the world and say to yourself, "ahahaha, stupid poor people"

:)

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The 1920’s called, they want their depression back Sorry for the bad joke

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What do depression and ISIS have in common? They're both terrorist cells which are very hard to pin down, very hard to get rid of and they keep trying to destroy your home from the inside - while you're still in it.

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Licking a frog is good for depression Bad thing is that once you stop licking it, the frog becomes depressed again.

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