Depression Jokes


Funniest Depression Jokes

My friend, Karen, and I visited a place you can stand in three states at once: Oklahoma, Kansas and Missouri. Karen opened up that she was actually in a fourth state: crippling depression. I said, "I'm so sorry" "...but you can't count Missouri twice."

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Depression/suicide jokes are basically yo mama jokes of our generation — they're lazy, unfunny and useless Just like me

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I wanted to build my career on making chemistry jokes to cure my depression. Then I realized alcohol is a solution.

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What’s the best way to overcome depression? Love it, so it leaves you as well.

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Did you know Nebraska has the highest level of depression and extra-marital activity? It's a sad state of affairs.

Credit: Paul Savage

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Funny Depression Jokes
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My therapist said the best treatment for depression is to vigorously rub salt into my skin in order to draw out excess moisture. Wow thanks I'm cured.

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Name a popular state that most people live in. Depression

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Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance Saturday, Sunday

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They say, you are what you eat. Idk man, i dont remember eating depression.

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Oregon leads America in both marital infidelity and clinical depression. What a sad state of affairs.

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Doctor said getting some natural light would help with my depression. Now I'm depressed *and* hung over.

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My grandpa always said... They were so poor, if he wasn't born a boy during the Depression, he would of had nothing to play with.

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The cure for my depression is right around the corner. Yes, here comes my train now.

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I have a cross eyed friend who just got diagnosed with depression. Makes sense because he never looks forward to anything.

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After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, Forget it.....Soldier on!

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A Russian doctor is treating his patient. *"Take this for insomnia... take this for depression... and take this for anxiety."*

*"Thank you Doctor, but do you have any other medicine besides Vodka?"*

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I really hope this country doesn't slip into depression... Because if it does Trump will make sure it is the *Greatest* depression it has ever seen.

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My cross-eyed friend was just diagnosed with depression. I'm not surprised - he never looks forward to anything.

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Russian pharmacy Doctor: This medicine is from insomnia, this one is from nervous break-down, and also take this one from depression.

Patient: Thank you very much, doctor, but do you have any other medicine besides vodka?

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What are lesbians prescribed for depression? tricoxagin

(say it a couple times you'll figure it out)

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Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail? It's pretty much a downward spiral.

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Upvotes are like a Russian tank turret. More protection, less depression.

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Name a state that most people live in? Depression.

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What's the difference between crippling depression and crippled depression? One can't get out of bed because they're depressed, the other is depressed because they can't get out of bed.

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What do you call symptoms of depression? "Blues Clues"

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Whenever I tell people about my depression they always say the same thing Sir, this is a wendy’s drivethrough

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A man is at the airport. The airline attendant asks the man, "Do you have any baggage?" He replies, "I haven't talked to my parents in 3 years, I have depression, and I'm still a virgin."

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A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression... It's called Trycoxagain

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Your mother is so fat that she fell into deep depression and she broke it.

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In the US, what state are the most people in? Depression.

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Why did the miner feel so low? He was in a deep depression.

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A Puerto Rican meteorologist sought counseling. When asked "why?" he replied, "Tropical Depression."

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Why was the clown crying? Clinical depression

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the doctor told me I have depression.. I'm not happy with the diagnosis

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Arkansas ranks highly among other states in terms of depression and adultery It's a sad state of affairs.

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What do you call a fat man trying out a new tempurpedic mattress? The great depression

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jokes about depression used to be funny.... now they're just sad.

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A motivational speaker retired due to depression He discovered he had B Negative blood

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A tropical storm goes through Mississippi and Alabama and becomes a tropical depression.

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New Depression Jokes

What do you call The Avatar ig he was born around yhe great depression? Boomer-Aang

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Depression has cured my hypochondria I no longer fear dying, even if WebMD gives me 2 days to live.

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I just read an article about Anthony (from the child band “The Wiggles”) and his struggles with depression. I guess that’s why he is the blue Wiggle.

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What do a group of goths and a isobars on a weather map have in common? They’re both linked by their depression.

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Jokes about depression are just like jokes about being black I was gonna go on a long rant but I just realized if you just change the “d” to “r” it’s the same

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What my depression and ex have in common... They both want me back.

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I recently moved into an apartment building that only houses people struggling with depression It's called The Inferiority Complex

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What happened to the Portuguese man when he got no presents for Christmas? He got post-Natal depression

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Travel advisory: Polar bears visiting the South Pole have been reporting extreme manic depression. It's not easy being bipolar.

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You Can use Duct Tape to Fix Any Thing Except Depression

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Did you hear about that guy who committed suicide in a crater He was suffering from severe depression.

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On vacation I got sad and started drinking 40's. You might say my tropical depression turned into a case of hurricanes.

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Only 90's kids will get this! Crippling depression and social anxiety

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Recent studies show that 100% of people disabled from the waist down are diagnosed with a mental disorder Crippling Depression

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I had the worst audience participation at my concert That's the last time I sing If You're Happy and You Know It at a depression treatment facility.

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I have depression and I'm not happy about it.

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If Happiness was as easy to invoke as Hate..... I probably wouldn't have crippling depression right now.

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my advice to anyone who has depression... Drink a pint of water before you go to bed every night.

it will give you a reason to get up in the morning

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A man with manic depression buys a heart rate monitor It was made by Polar

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What do you call a sad man in a wheelchair? Crippling depression.

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I just heard the best joke about depression ...but it's nothing, don't worry about it.

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