My friend, Karen, and I visited a place you can stand in three states at once: Oklahoma, Kansas and Missouri. Karen opened up that she was actually in a fourth state: crippling depression. I said, "I'm so sorry" "...but you can't count Missouri twice."
Depression/suicide jokes are basically yo mama jokes of our generation — they're lazy, unfunny and useless Just like me
I wanted to build my career on making chemistry jokes to cure my depression. Then I realized alcohol is a solution.
What’s the best way to overcome depression? Love it, so it leaves you as well.
Did you know Nebraska has the highest level of depression and extra-marital activity?
It's a sad state of affairs.
Credit: Paul Savage
My therapist said the best treatment for depression is to vigorously rub salt into my skin in order to draw out excess moisture. Wow thanks I'm cured.
Name a popular state that most people live in. Depression
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance Saturday, Sunday
They say, you are what you eat. Idk man, i dont remember eating depression.
Oregon leads America in both marital infidelity and clinical depression. What a sad state of affairs.
Doctor said getting some natural light would help with my depression. Now I'm depressed *and* hung over.
My grandpa always said... They were so poor, if he wasn't born a boy during the Depression, he would of had nothing to play with.
The cure for my depression is right around the corner. Yes, here comes my train now.
I have a cross eyed friend who just got diagnosed with depression. Makes sense because he never looks forward to anything.
After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, Forget it.....Soldier on!
A Russian doctor is treating his patient.
*"Take this for insomnia... take this for depression... and take this for anxiety."*
*"Thank you Doctor, but do you have any other medicine besides Vodka?"*
I really hope this country doesn't slip into depression... Because if it does Trump will make sure it is the *Greatest* depression it has ever seen.
My cross-eyed friend was just diagnosed with depression. I'm not surprised - he never looks forward to anything.
Doctor: This medicine is from insomnia, this one is from nervous break-down, and also take this one from depression.
Patient: Thank you very much, doctor, but do you have any other medicine besides vodka?
What are lesbians prescribed for depression?
(say it a couple times you'll figure it out)
Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail? It's pretty much a downward spiral.
Upvotes are like a Russian tank turret. More protection, less depression.
Name a state that most people live in? Depression.
What's the difference between crippling depression and crippled depression? One can't get out of bed because they're depressed, the other is depressed because they can't get out of bed.
What do you call symptoms of depression? "Blues Clues"
Whenever I tell people about my depression they always say the same thing Sir, this is a wendy’s drivethrough
A man is at the airport. The airline attendant asks the man, "Do you have any baggage?" He replies, "I haven't talked to my parents in 3 years, I have depression, and I'm still a virgin."
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression... It's called Trycoxagain
Your mother is so fat that she fell into deep depression and she broke it.
In the US, what state are the most people in? Depression.
Why did the miner feel so low? He was in a deep depression.
A Puerto Rican meteorologist sought counseling. When asked "why?" he replied, "Tropical Depression."
Why was the clown crying? Clinical depression
the doctor told me I have depression.. I'm not happy with the diagnosis
Arkansas ranks highly among other states in terms of depression and adultery It's a sad state of affairs.
What do you call a fat man trying out a new tempurpedic mattress? The great depression
jokes about depression used to be funny.... now they're just sad.
A motivational speaker retired due to depression He discovered he had B Negative blood
A tropical storm goes through Mississippi and Alabama and becomes a tropical depression.
What do you call The Avatar ig he was born around yhe great depression? Boomer-Aang
Depression has cured my hypochondria I no longer fear dying, even if WebMD gives me 2 days to live.
I just read an article about Anthony (from the child band “The Wiggles”) and his struggles with depression. I guess that’s why he is the blue Wiggle.
What do a group of goths and a isobars on a weather map have in common? They’re both linked by their depression.
Jokes about depression are just like jokes about being black I was gonna go on a long rant but I just realized if you just change the “d” to “r” it’s the same
What my depression and ex have in common... They both want me back.
I recently moved into an apartment building that only houses people struggling with depression It's called The Inferiority Complex
What happened to the Portuguese man when he got no presents for Christmas? He got post-Natal depression
Travel advisory: Polar bears visiting the South Pole have been reporting extreme manic depression. It's not easy being bipolar.
You Can use Duct Tape to Fix Any Thing Except Depression
Did you hear about that guy who committed suicide in a crater He was suffering from severe depression.
On vacation I got sad and started drinking 40's. You might say my tropical depression turned into a case of hurricanes.
Only 90's kids will get this! Crippling depression and social anxiety
Recent studies show that 100% of people disabled from the waist down are diagnosed with a mental disorder Crippling Depression
I had the worst audience participation at my concert That's the last time I sing If You're Happy and You Know It at a depression treatment facility.
I have depression and I'm not happy about it.
If Happiness was as easy to invoke as Hate..... I probably wouldn't have crippling depression right now.
my advice to anyone who has depression...
Drink a pint of water before you go to bed every night.
it will give you a reason to get up in the morning
A man with manic depression buys a heart rate monitor It was made by Polar
What do you call a sad man in a wheelchair? Crippling depression.
I just heard the best joke about depression ...but it's nothing, don't worry about it.