Laffy Taffy Jokes

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Funniest Laffy Taffy Jokes

Funny Laffy Taffy Jokes

I aspire to write jokes for laffy taffy. Q: What do you call a gullible vampire?

A: A sucker

Why did the skeleton not go to prom? He had no *body* to go with!!!

As told by a Professor, in a serious Aerospace class, reading off of Laffy Taffy.

The best joke I ever heard from a Laffy Taffy wrapper Why do kangaroos hate rainy days?
...
The kids have to play inside.

What is the definition of a farmer? Someone who is outstanding in his field.

*hehehe*

Credit: Laffy Taffy

What did the hat say to the scarf? You hang around while I go on ahead.

Credit goes to a Laffy Taffy wrapper from some years ago.

My favorite from a Laffy Taffy wrapper: What do you call a twitching cow? Beef Jerky

This was my Laffy taffy joke I choked on it while I read this What Kind Of Tree Grows In Your Hand?
A palm tree!

What is a Mathematician's favorite thing to drink? Root beer.

(tbh: found on a Laffy taffy wrapper)

What runs around a soccer field but never moves? A fence.

Credit: Leftover Laffy Taffy from Halloween. #157 Julie D., Boise, ID

Why couldn't Mozart find his teacher? Because his teacher was Haydn.

(Stolen from laffy taffy)

What did one eye say to the other? Between us, something smells.

Courtesy of the laffy taffy in my candy bowl. Happy Haloween! :)

What kind of clothes to clouds wear? THUNDERWEAR!!

Source: Laffy Taffy

What's the best smelling insect? This was found on the back of my Laffy Taffy wrapper. The answer is deodor-ant.

What do you deserve in life that is also a type of bagel? Everything.

Credit due to a Laffy Taffy wrapper.

[the worst Laffy Taffy joke i've ever read] What's yellow and wears a mask? The Lone Lemon

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Long Laffy Taffy Jokes

My first attempt at writing a joke, please take it easy on me.

A man walks into a candy shop, as he is perusing around the shop he notices the shopkeep waiving him over to the counter. Not sure what he is really looking for he makes his way over to the counter to see if the shopkeep can be of any assistance.

Man: I'm not quite sure what I'm looking for, nothing has really caught my eye quite yet.

SK: Well we have all kinds of wonderful products but to me, it looks like you are a man of sophistication and great taste, and I think I have a new product that could be perfect for you sent here personally by Mr. Wonka just today.

Man: Mr. Wonka you say, you have my attention.

SK: He noticed that laffy taffy was only bringing joy to the younger customers so he developed a mint with a nice calming flavour and while it's dissolving in your mouth it tells you a joke.

Man: That actually sounds pretty nice, I haven't heard a decent joke in a while.

SK: Why don't I let you try a few to see what you think.

The man puts one in his mouth and starts to smile and by the end of the mint he is letting out a decent laugh.

Man: That wasn't half bad, may I try another?

SK: Be my guest.

As the second dissolves in the man's mouth he is almost in tears from laughing, and he can barely catch his breath.

Man: WOW these are fantastic, Mr. Wonka outdid himself with these, laffy taffy definitely could never compare in flavour or quality of jokes. I don't know how but I bet the best jokes are always in the calm mints.

Need help figuring out a Laffy Taffy joke

I just got this joke on a Laffy Taffy wrapper, and I cannot for the life of me figure out what this jerk-off Kyle P. is trying to get across. The joke is, what did the x-ray say to the broken bone? That bone should get a loan!

Why is the x-ray machine saying this? Is the joke that it rhymes? Does the bone need a loan to like, fix itself?

This is seriously bothering me and I need help.

Got these off a Laffy Taffy

Kristine O., New Bedford, MA

Where does Scrooge go to in New York City?

The Grumpire State Building!


Sandra M., Dekalb, IL (And this one doesn't even make any sense)

What did the cake say to the candle?

You're burning my back.


Why does Laffy Taffy allow these kids to write jokes?

A Catholic priest is reading a map made by the Laffy Taffy Company

As the priest follows the map through the streets of Rio De Janeiro, he gets deeper and deeper into the slums of the city. He stays true to the map, regardless of the neighborhood. An hour later, he is still following the map, regardless of the neighborhood getting even worse. There are gang members on each street corner, and women entertaining their services too. Eventually the priest stops in his tracks and says to himself "Dear God, I hope this joke is going somewhere."

My first time reposting someone elses original joke, please take it easy on me.

A man walks into a candy shop, as he is perusing around the shop he notices the shopkeep waving him over to the counter. Not sure what he is really looking for he makes his way over to the counter to see if the shopkeep can be of any assistance.

​

Man: I'm not quite sure what I'm looking for, nothing has really caught my eye quite yet.

​

SK: Well we have all kinds of wonderful products but to me, it looks like you are a man of sophistication and great taste, and I think I have a new product that could be perfect for you sent here personally by Mr. Wonka just today.

​

Man: Mr. Wonka you say, you have my attention.

​

SK: He noticed that laffy taffy was only bringing joy to the younger customers so he developed a mint with a nice calming flavour and while it's dissolving in your mouth it tells you a joke.

​

​

Man: That actually sounds pretty nice, I haven't heard a decent joke in a while.

​

​

SK: Why don't I let you try a few to see what you think.

​

​

The man puts one in his mouth and starts to smile and by the end of the mint he is letting out a decent laugh.

​

​

Man: That wasn't half bad, may I try another?

​

​

SK: Be my guest.

​

​

As the second dissolves in the man's mouth he is almost in tears from laughing, and he can barely catch his breath.

​

​

Man: WOW these are fantastic, Mr. Wonka outdid himself with these, laffy taffy definitely could never compare in flavour or quality of jokes. I don't know how but I bet the best jokes are always in the calm mints.

​

​

​

​

Edit: Wow, (they) did not expect this to blow up as much as it did, thank you so much everyone for your kind words! It has definitely made them want to keep trying to write more for all of you amazing people (who commented on the original)! And a special thanks for their first coins, when they woke up and saw that they had to rub their eyes a few times to make sure they were actually awake.

This joke I stole from a Laffy Taffy

Nutrition Facts

Laffy Taffy

Serving Size: 1 piece (8.8 grams)

Amount Per Serving 1

Calories from Fat 2.6

Calories 35

Total Fat 0.3 grams

Saturated Fat 0.2 grams

Trans Fat 0 grams

Polyunsaturated Fat 0 grams

Monounsaturated Fat 0.1 grams

Cholesterol 0.8 milligrams

Sodium 4.6 milligrams

Potassium 0.3 milligrams

Total Carbohydrates 8.1 grams

Dietary Fiber 0 grams

Sugars 6 grams

Protein 0ggrams 0.2%

Vitamin A 0%

Vitamin C 0.1%

Calcium 0%

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