Watermelon Jokes

When do you start on red and stop on green? When you're eating a watermelon!

Edit: wow, this is my highest rated post. Finally broke the 1000 karma barrier thank you all

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John has 20 watermelons and tim has none. John threw one watermelon at tim, what does tim have now? A concussion.

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Funny Watermelon Jokes
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Onions My friend told me that onions are the only edible plant that can make you cry.

I bludgeoned his head with a watermelon.

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my friend told me onions are the only food that make you cry.. so I smacked him in the face with a watermelon.

<_<

Score: 36

When do you go on red and stop on green? When you're eating a watermelon.

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When do you stop at Green and go at Red? When eating a watermelon

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I have the head of a watermelon, the arms of two French baguettes, the chest of two pillows. What am I? Banned from the supermarket.

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer and the other one is a watermelon

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When do you stop at green, and go at red? when eating watermelon

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What do you get when you slice a watermelon in four pieces? A quartermelon!

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When do you stop at green and go at red? When you’re eating watermelon.

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Farmers. If Farmer A sells watermelon, and Farmer B sell apples, what does Farmer C sell? Drugs.

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Why didn't the watermelon get married to the honeydew Because fruits cantaloupe

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What do you call a sad watermelon? melancholy

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I pick my women like I pick my watermelon. A little rough with a discolored bottom and heavier than the appear.

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Why’s billy in the hospital? “Well he said the only food that could make you cry was an onion..”

“And?”

“So, I threw a watermelon hat his head”

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How do you get the water in a watermelon? Plant it in the spring.

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What's green on the outside, red on the inside, and has watermelon seeds? A watermelon!
Now,
What's green on the outside, red on the inside, has watermelon seeds, and isn't a watermelon?
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Half a watermelon.
That's my dad's favorite joke.

Score: 9

If watermelon has water in it... Then what does a kumquat have?

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A farmer kept getting water melons stolen, so one day he puts a sign up that says 'one of these watermelons is poisoned' next day he gets up and goes out to work in his watermelon patch and sees another sign 'now there are two'

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What did the watermelon say to the honeydew? "I'm sorry baby, we just cantaloupe."

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What do you call a Mailman who only delivers watermelon? Post Melone

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Why did the Honeydew princess stay and marry Duke Watermelon instead of running off with her true love? She cantaloupe

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What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs in a watermelon patch? >!Melanie!<

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How do you grow a melon? Watermelon

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Did you know that watermelon is only 50% water? The other 50% is melon

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Whats every Dad's favorite fruit? Watermelon (water my lawn)

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Why did the watermelon have brown spots all over its skin? It had melonoma

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a babys head? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one tastes good

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Where does the Roman stop eating his watermelon? At the Rhine.

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Did you hear about the watermelon that fell inlove with the melon? They wanted to get married but they cantaloupe.

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What do you call a watermelon in California? A melon

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What do you call a melon in the ocean? Watermelon.

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Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas? They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe.

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What is the difference between 400 dead babies and a watermelon? I don't have a watermelon in my garage.

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What did the watermelon say to her fiance before their wedding? We cantelope

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