There were 3 blondes walking on a trail...
The first blonde said "Those look like deer tracks!"
The second blonde said "No those are totally moose tracks... "
The third blonde said "Nope, they are goat tracks!"
Then a train hit them
If you buy a goat for $10 and named him Mohammed, then sell it for $15. Did you make a prophet?
What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA? You get kicked out of the petting zoo...
What do you get when you cross goat DNA with human DNA? You get kicked out of the petting zoo
Two goats were behind a Hollywood movie studio eating an old movie film.
One goat said to the other, "Pretty good, huh?"
The second goat said, "Yeah, but not as good as the book".
Two goats chew on a VHS tape. The first goat says "*This film is pretty good"* and the other one replies: "*Yeah, it's OK but the book was better."*
My wife said we each needed to make sacrifices to make our relationship work. She was less than impressed with the dead goat I left in our kitchen.
What do you get when you combine a goat egg and a goat sperm?
I'll escort myself out.
What do you get when you attempt to mix human and goat DNA? ...Kicked out of the petting zoo.
What do you call a goat that likes cleaning?
(you have to make a goat sound when saying it)
My ex said that relationships were about sacrifice. But she still screamed when she saw the bloody goat on the altar.
Me: I have trained this goat to talk.
Karen: This would be fun to see.
Me[to goat]: Who do i love the most?
Me[to goat]: Who's my pet?
Karen: Ah, its boring
Me: Wait it gets better
Goat: It gets way better, Karen!
What do you get when you add human DNA with goat DNA I don't know but I was kicked out of the petting zoo..
What's the difference between a baby and A goat? When my goat died, I couldn't bring myself to eat it.
What’s the difference between a goat and a kid? My neighbour isn’t unknowingly raising my goats.
What’s the difference between a goat and a kid? My neighbour isn’t unknowingly raising two of my goats.
What does rapping and mountain climbing have in common? A white goat is the best at them both.
What did the papa goat say to the mama goat when she was giving birth? You've goat to be kidding me!
What do goat veal, most of the jokes in new, and an anti-vaxxer's household have in common? They're all full of dead kids.
A female sheep walks into a bar with a baby cow and a baby goat Bartender says: Ewe Calf to be Kidding me!
An American walks into a flea market in Albania...
...and see's the finest goat they've ever seen.
They're not even hungry, but they ask the stall how much, anyway.
The stall replies, "Ms. Veseli is not for sale".
A skeleton, a dinosaur, and a goat walked into a bar, what did the bartender say? Boneapple tea?
A man goes to a farm to purchase the most pregnant looking goat Long story short that kids is how I met your mother
A goat tells her boyfriend she's pregnant.
He immediately replies, "What? You're kidding!"
To which she replies back, "Yeah, that's what I said."
What do you get when you cross human DNA with goat DNA? You get kicked out of the petting zoo.
So a goat was found dead on it's house The police report said, that the goat overdosed on Crystal Mehhh
Two peasants, Boris and Igor are poor. Boris has a goat. Igor does not. One day while walking thru the woods, Igor meets a fairy. "What do you wish for?" She ask.
"I wish" Igor says "that Boris's goat should die"
Last weekend I was accused of being dyslexic at a party... I think they were just jealous of my goat costume, because nobody else put in *any* effort. For some reason they all decided to just wear bed sheets to the goat party.
A goat goes into labor. She screams "I'm dying!" Her husband asks "really?" She replies "no I'm kidding"
Goat birth is called kidding A goat goes into labor. She screams "I'm dying!" Her husband asks "Really?" She replies "No, I'm kidding."
It's way easier to drink goat milk than you'd think. It's getting the grass stains out of your clothes that's the hard part.
I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet... He sent me a large goat with a really long neck...Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama
Non believers say it is impossible for a virgin to have kids... ... but my socially awkward friend Mitchell owns a goat farm - and he has plenty of kids!
Id love to get mad at my baby goat when she headbutts. But you cant blame her. Shes just a kid.