Hilarious Goat Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Goat Jokes

What do you get if you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the zoo.

Score: 1943

Why was the Muslim rubbing the goat? Not because he was in to bestiality, you Islamophobe.

He was at the petting zoo for his wife's 9th birthday

Score: 1650

There were 3 blondes walking on a trail... The first blonde said "Those look like deer tracks!"

The second blonde said "No those are totally moose tracks... "

The third blonde said "Nope, they are goat tracks!"

Then a train hit them

Score: 1471

Some people think filling animals with helium is wrong... I don't judge. Whatever floats your goat.

Score: 1439

A goat, a drum, and a rattlesnake fall down a cliff... ba dum tss

Score: 1203

Condoms 1272AD - Arab Muslims invent the first condoms using the lower intestine of goats.

1856AD - English farmers improve on the idea by first removing the intestine from the goat.

Score: 1162

Score: 1134

What happens when you mix human DNA with goat DNA? You get kicked out of the petting zoo.

Score: 765

Some people say filling animals with helium is wrong but i say, whatever floats your goat

Score: 644

What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? ...banned from the zoo. (Learned that the hard way)

Score: 591

A goat, a drum, and a snake fell off a cliff.. Baa- dum- ssss

Score: 559

If you buy a goat for $10 and named him Mohammed, then sell it for $15. Did you make a prophet?

Score: 474

What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? A lifetime ban from the petting zoo.

Score: 381

Some say filling animals with helium is wrong But I say whatever floats your goat

Score: 291

What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA? Kicked out of the petting zoo.

Score: 266

A goat, a drum and a snake fall off a cliff. Bah dum tss!

Score: 240

What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA? You get kicked out of the petting zoo...

Score: 239

What do you get when you cross human DNA with goat DNA? A ban from the petting zoo.

Score: 226

What do you get if you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo.

Score: 222

What do you get when you cross goat DNA with human DNA? You get kicked out of the petting zoo

Score: 208

What do you get when you inject human DNA into a goat? Kicked out of the petting zoo.

Score: 193

People say filling animals with helium is wrong but i say, whatever floats your goat.

Score: 190

Condoms were invented by Arabic-Muslims sometime in the 1400s using lower goat intestine They were later improved by the British in 1873 by taking the intestine out of the goat first

Score: 125

What do you get when you cross human DNA and goat DNA? Kicked out the petting zoo...

Score: 125

What do you get when you mix goat DNA with human DNA Kicked out of the petting zoo

Score: 118

You know what really gets my goat? Chupacabras.

Score: 115

Two goats were behind a Hollywood movie studio eating an old movie film. One goat said to the other, "Pretty good, huh?"
The second goat said, "Yeah, but not as good as the book".

Score: 107

You know what really gets my goat? El chupacabra

Score: 103

What's 3/7 chicken, 2/3 cat and 1/2 goat? Chicago

Score: 98

What do you get... What do you get when you try to inject Human DNA into a goat?

Banned from the petting zoo, apparently.

Score: 96

Some say putting helium in animals is wrong. I say whatever floats your goat.

Score: 87

Some people think that killing animals with helium is wrong... I don’t judge…

Whatever floats your goat.

Score: 42

What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo

Score: 31

What do you get when you insert human DNA in a goat? Banned from the petting zoo

Score: 28

Do you know what really gets my goat? Foxes.

Score: 24

Two cows Two cows were talking in a field.
"Aren't you worried about this Mad Cow Disease that's going round?"
"No", said the other. "I'm a goat".

Score: 20

Apparently filling animals with helium is "abuse", pfft Whatever floats your goat, I guess.

Score: 18

What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the zoo...

Score: 14

What’s the difference between a goat and a kid? My neighbour isn’t unknowingly raising my goats.

Score: 11

What kind of drug can you genetically engineer a goat to make? Am-feta-mines.

Score: 6

New Goat Jokes

A goat goes to a therapist He gets asked to talk about what bothering him

He says it all started when he was a kid

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Why did the goat have to go to the doctor? Because he was bleating.

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What do goat veal, most of the jokes in new, and an anti-vaxxer's household have in common? They're all full of dead kids.

Score: 2

How did the arab find the goat in the dessert? Satisfying

Score: 2

What happens if you mox the dna of a human and the dna of a goat? They'll kick you out of the zoo.

Score: 0

A man goes to a farm to purchase the most pregnant looking goat Long story short that kids is how I met your mother

Score: 5

You guys heard the joke about the Brazilian mountain goat? It was bah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ad.

Score: 1

My friend is seriously in to Inflating Animals... Whatever floats your goat

Score: 4

What do you get when you cross goat DNA with human DNA? From experience You'll get kicked out of the petting zoo.

Score: 5

Theoretically a goat can get impregnated by a moth. Scientists have never attempted the experiment however, as they don't want to create more goth kids.

Score: 5

What is the difference between an Albanian and a goat? A goat can actually feed a family.

**What is the similarity between an Albanian and a goat?**

The smell.

Score: 5

Not your usual goat joke I walked past a baby goat sleeping. I was later arrested for kidnapping, has nothing to do with the kid napping, they just found my basement

Score: 5

What do you call a hillbilly after he is all grown up? A mountain goat of course!

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What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Kicked out of the petting zoo.

Score: 2

Some say that filling animals with helium is wrong... But I say, "hey, whatever floats your goat!"

Score: 1

I told my superstitious friend I was having knee pains She said "I have been reading into astrology and its said that Capricorn, the sea-goat, has more knee pains. Are you a Capricorn?"

I said "No ma'am. I'm a Taurus, and that's bull."

Score: 4

I phoned the spiritual leader of Tibet. He sent me a long-necked goat. As it turns out, I called "Dial-a-llama."

Score: 3

What do you call a Romanic comedy duo of a man and a goat who specializes in mocking the constructs of society? Satyre.

Score: 2

What is the difference between a sheep and a goat? The shear size of them

Score: 1

What has six eyes, four wings and eight legs? Two chickens and a goat.

Score: 2

How did the Arab find the goat in the Desert? Delightful

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Did you hear about the owl who fell in love with the goat? They had a hootin-nanny.

Score: 2

What do you get if you cross human and goat DNA? Kicked out of the petting zoo

Score: 2

What do you get when you mix a Puerto Rican with a goat?? A weed eater that doesn't work.

Score: 2

Two cows are talking, "hey are you worried about this mad cows disease that's going around?" "Why would I be worried I'm a goat."

Score: 0