Pilot Jokes

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Funniest Pilot Jokes

Funny Pilot Jokes

People should really stop making jokes about major tragedies. My Dad died on 9/11... He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia...

Propellers on small planes are actually used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops spinning, you can see the pilot start to sweat.

Did you know that an airplane's propeller is only a big fan and is there to keep the pilot cool? Don't believe me?

Turn it off, and see how much the pilot sweats!

People always say the show Lost had such a great pilot Then why did the plane crash?

A propeller is actually just a big fan to keep the pilot cool... when it stops you can watch the pilot start sweating

What did the kamikaze pilot tell his students? Watch closely. I'm only gonna show this once

Today was my first day as a pilot I looked down nervously.

"What are all these buttons for?" I asked.

My co-pilot sighed.

"Those are to keep your shirt closed"

What did the Kamikaze pilot say to his students? Pay attention, I am only going to do this once.

Japan's worst kamikaze pilot He flew over 25 missions

Why did the sitcom about airplanes never take off? Because the pilot was terrible.

If a female fighter pilot shoots down a lot of enemy airplanes, she might plausibly be called a heroine. But if she shoots up a lot of heroin, she will probably not be called an enemy airplane.

What's the difference between a Pakistani grade school and an Al-Qaeda training base? How am I supposed to know, I just pilot the drone

What do you call a pregnant flight attendant? Pilot Error.

What do you call a Muslim Flying an airplane A pilot

NBC is contemplating a new TV series titled "Airline Tragedies." They are putting the pilot together right now.

Why did the Asian pilot get arrested at the airport? TSA thought he said he was going to "pirate" the plane.

What's the difference between a terrorist and a five year old? I don't know, I just pilot the drone

A plane flies straight toward a mountain as pilot and co-pilot pull down on the control wheel with all their might The pilot yells "We'll never make it over that mountain" the co-pilot looks at him and says "Not with that altitude."

A pilot is making an announcement to his passengers "We got some good news, and some bad news. The good news is you guys will be on TV tonight!"

A plane gets hijacked by a couple of terrorists The head terrorist is in the cockpit with the pilot. He demands that the pilot takes them to a free country or else the entire plane will blow up.

The pilot retorts: " This is an airliner, not a spaceship!"

Did you know... ...that the prop on the front of a plane is just a big fan to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actully see the pilot sweating.

Have you heard of the TV show about kamikaze attacks? It didn’t last longer than the pilot

What do call a a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you f*****g racist.

The propellor of a plane is actually a giant fan for the pilot When the fan stops, you can actually see the pilot start sweating

A pilot passed through a rainbow on his flight test. He passed with flying colors.

The pilot said, "We are having engine trouble. Who here believes in the power of prayer?"

One man rose to his feet and said, "I do!"

The pilot said, "That is good because we are one parachute short."

What's the difference between a weapons factory and a Palestinian preschool? I don't know, I just pilot the drone.

Did you hear about the manned rocket that crashed shortly after launching from Alabama? All the system warnings went off, but for some reason the pilot could not abort.

I always wanted to be a pilot Until I saw my first porno. Since then I can't decide if I want to be a plumber, electrician or the cable repair guy.

Turns out that German pilot was heavily depressed... He brought the whole plane down.

How can you tell if there is a pilot in the room? He will tell you.

Things a pilot can't say in a job interview I'm down to earth

A new pilot has his first day in a real cockpit and he asks the pilot... "Wow, there's so many buttons and switches. How do you remember what they all do?" The captain replies, "I don't, but for the love of God don't touch the dusty ones."

The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

If Trump wins I'm leaving the country if Clinton wins I'm leaving the country Not a political post, I'm just a pilot so I always travel

The purpose of propellers on an aircraft are to fan the pilot. When they stop turning, the pilot starts sweating.

I felt like the plane was heading the wrong way... so I asked our pilot Yoda if we were going the right way to which he responded, "Off course we are!"

Just found out the Turkish President is getting into acting He shot a pilot a few month back

What did the kamikaze pilot tell his students? I’m only going to demonstrate this once, so look closely

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New Pilot Jokes

I'm making a new documentary series on how to fly an aeroplane We're currently filming the pilot

How do you identify a fighter pilot at a bar? You don't, he'll come up and tell you.

My interview for the position of a Kamikaze pilot today went pretty well. until I asked about the pension.

What is the difference between a pilot and a person with Alzheimer? What is the difference between a pilot and a person with Alzheimer?

You ever hear about the canine pilot from WWI? He got into a dog fight but thankfully he shook his tail.

What do you call a pilot who always flies the same plane? Very dedicated to his craft.

A requirement to be a pilot is to be good at basic math So I asked a couple pilots what 300 + 90 was and they all said 30. I guess they are not that smart after all.

The pilot is screaming: We're gonna crash! A woman rips her blouse off and screams: "I want to be a woman one more time!"
A man rips his shirt off his chest and yells to her: "Iron my shirt too!!"

Why did the pilot get sick? Because he flu

My grandfather was in the air force in the Second World War, surviving over 30 combat missions in hostile airspace. He was by far the worst pilot of the entire Kamikaze corps.

Did you know that an helicopters propeller serves to keep the pilot cool? Because when it stops the pilot starts sweating.

Being drunk on a plane is never a good idea Especially if you’re the pilot

Brace for impact "We are all going to die"- pilot over intercom.

*Passengers panic

"All of us ,will die one day. No one knows when."

*Passengers sigh in relief

"But it would probably be after we crash into this mountain"

What's the difference between an ISIS compound full of terrorists and a grade school full of children? I don't know, I'm just the pilot

what do you call a black man who flies a plane A pilot you racist jerk

I hate when people joke about 9/11, my uncle died there He was the greatest pilot Saudi Arabia had seen in years

My father was a kamikaze pilot in his youth Not a very successful one, obviously.

What do you call a Syrian flying a plane A Pilot

What is the similarity between a pilot and an air traffic controller? If the pilot screws up, the pilot dies. If the air traffic controller screws up, the pilot dies.

What is the purpose of the propeller on an airplane? To keep the pilot cool. If you don't think so, just stop it and watch him sweat!

My interview for the job as a kamikaze pilot went pretty good. Then I asked about the pension.

A pilot walks into a bar & asks for a packet of helicopter-flavoured crisps "Sorry" says the bartender, "We only have plane"

It's bad enough for someone to ask if there's a doctor onboard a plane. Imagine how it feels when someone's asking if there's a pilot on board.

Did you hear about the reality show based on 9/11? No? I'm not surprised, the pilot crashed.

"What is the propeller on the plane for?" "It's to keep the pilot cool" said the flight instructor.

"I don't think so", replies the kid.

"If you take off the propeller you will see the pilot sweating"

Did you hear about the sitcom about a terrorist? It was cancelled after he shot the pilot

After the helicopter crash. After the helicopter crash, the blond pilot was asked what happened. She replied, "It was getting chilly in there, so I turned the fan off."

Have you heard of the TV show about the airplane? It sorta crashed and burned, but I think its because the pilot wasn't very good.

What did the Mexican pilot say to make the flight take off on time? UNDELAY UNDELAY

That Military Documentary series on Japan in WW2 was really good... ...Unfortunately it never survived past the Pilot episode.

Why wasn't the pilot allowed to fly? (Pun) He was grounded due to his poor altitude.

Helicopter rotors are also air conditioners When they stop, the pilot starts sweating.

Why was 9/11 one of the worst episodes in American History? It was the pilot

Air traffic control - Flight 417, please confirm your location, over Pilot - This is Flight 417, we are in the sky, over

Why did the Polish helicopter crash? The pilot got cold and turned off the ceiling fan!

A sitcom about a 9/11 hijacker was in the works for Comedy Central But it never made it past the pilot episode

After the helicopter crash, the blond pilot was asked what happened. She replied, "It was getting chilly in there, so I turned the fan off."

My grand-dad died in 9/11 He was the best pilot in Saudi-Arabia.

I'm making a TV show about the different roles people serve on aeroplanes. Wanna see the pilot episode?

What was the worst thing about finally getting my pilot googles at the end of pilot training? Emperor Hirohito handed them to me...

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Long Pilot Jokes

A plane is spotted trying to land at Area 51

One day at Area 51 a radar tech spots a single engine plane on final approach to the secret Air Force base. The plane touches down and is immediately surrounded by armed guards. The plane is impounded and the pilot is whisked off for questioning. The pilot claims that he had been flying from Las Vegas, gotten lost, and nearly run out of fuel, so he put his plane down at the first runway he saw. After extensive background checks, it is proven that the pilot isn't a spy and he is set to be released the following morning.

Before he is allowed to leave, he is given the "You didn't see anything" talk, and is told that under absolutely no circumstances is he allowed to tell anyone where he was, or what he saw. The Air Force fuels up the man's plane, gives him a proper heading to get back to Las Vegas, and sends him on his way.

Later that day, the man's plane is again spotted getting ready to land at Area 51. This time there are two people in the plane. When the plane touches down, it is immediately surrounded by guards again. As soon as it comes to a stop, the man hops out and yells: "Do whatever you want to me, but SOMEBODY has to tell my wife where I was last night."

A flight is on its way to Sydney when a blonde in economy class gets up, and moves to the first class section and sits down

The flight attendant watches her do this, and asks to see her ticket.

She then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class, and that she will have to sit in the back.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Sydney and I’m staying right here”.

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde bimbo sitting in first class, that belongs in economy, and won’t move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Sydney and I’m staying right here”.

The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won’t listen to reason.

The pilot says, “You say she is a blonde? I’ll handle this, I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde”.

He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, “Oh, I’m sorry” and gets up and goes back to her seat in economy.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

I told her, “First class isn’t going to Sydney “




Edit: Thanks for the gold. Thanks for the comments. Thanks for the abuse - whilst highlighting that it is an unoriginal joke. At no point did I proclaim to have written it, but it is a cracking joke.

A flight is on its way to Sydney when a blonde in economy gets up, moves to the first class section and sits down

The flight attendant watches her do this, and asks to see her ticket.

She then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class, and that she will have to sit in the back.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Sydney and I’m staying right here”.

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde bimbo sitting in first class, that belongs in economy, and won’t move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Sydney and I’m staying right here”.

The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won’t listen to reason.

The pilot says, “You say she is a blonde? I’ll handle this, I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde”.

He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, “Oh, I’m sorry” and gets up and goes back to her seat in economy.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

I told her, “First class isn’t going to Sydney “

A flight attendant sees a suspicious couple on board...

She decides to report it to the pilot immediately.

"Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! The female passenger looks pretty frightened and the man she is with looks dangerous!"

The pilot responds, "Patricia, I've told you before. This is Air Force One..."

The trump family is flying from New York to DC

Donald looks down on the cities below and says "I think I'll throw a 1000$ bill out of the window and make some american happy. Melanie says "Oh honey why not throw 10 100$ bills and make 10 americans happy?"
So then Ivanka says "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out of the window and make 100 americans happy?" To that the pilot says " Why dont you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"

EDIT: Thank you for the gold!!

There was a man named Walter and his Wife Ethel

Walter took Ethel to the state fair every year, and every time he would say to her, "Ethel, you know that I'd love to go for a ride in that helicopter." But Ethel would always reply, "I know that Walter, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars."

Finally, they went to the fair, and Walter said to Ethel, "Ethel, you know I'm 87 years old now. If I don't ride that helicopter this year, I may never get another chance." Once again Ethel replied, "Walter, you know that helicopter is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars."

This time the helicopter pilot overheard the couple's conversation and said, "Listen, folks, I'll make a deal with you. I'll take both of you for a ride; if you can both stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word I won't charge you! But if you say just one word, it's 50 dollars." Walter and Ethel agreed and up they went in the helicopter.

The pilot performed all kinds of fancy moves and tricks, but not a word was said by either Walter or Ethel. The pilot did his death-defying tricks over and over again, but still, there wasn't so much as one word said. When they finally landed, the pilot turned to Walter and said, "Wow! I've got to hand it to you. I did everything I could to get you to scream or shout out, but you didn't. I'm really impressed!" Walter replied, "Well, to be honest, I almost said something when Ethel fell out but, you know, 50 dollars is 50 dollars!"

50 dollars is 50 dollars

Every year for 45 years James and Lucille had gone to the state Fair. Every yearJames told Lucille he wanted to go on the helicopter flight. "Its only 50 dollars" he would say. Every year Lucille would say "50 dollars is fifty dollars" and that was the end of the discussion.

On their 46th trip to the state Fair James asked to go on the helicopter flight, and Lucille told him that 50 dollars was still 50 dollars.

The helicopter pilot heard their conversation and felt a bit sorry for James. He approached them and told them that he would give them both a ride for free if neither one said a word for the whole flight. If either one said a single word he would charge them the 50 dollars. James and Lucille agree.

The pilot takes off and climbs as fast as he can and immediately goes into a dive, but he doesn't hear a word from the couple. He flys in circles, climbs and dives, zigs, zags, and everything in between. The couple never say a word. Finally he lands the helicopter.

Over the head set he says "I'm really impressed. I did every thing I could to get a reaction from you two."

James says "well, I almost told you to stop when Lucille fell out, but hey, 50 doolars is 50 dollars."

Right after takeoff, a pilot comes on the microphone to welcome his passengers. “Thank you for flying with us. The weather is....”

Then he suddenly starts screaming while still on the mic, “OH MY GOD! IT IS BURNING!!, IT IS BURNING!”

Then silence.

A few seconds later, he comes back on and says, “I’m terribly sorry about what happened. I spilled some scorching hot coffee on my lap...you should see my pants!!”

A voice from the back of the plane yelled, “Why don’t you come here and see ours?”

$50 is $50

Buddy and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, and every year Buddy would say,
'Edna,I'd like to ride in that helicopter'
Edna always replied,
'I know Buddy, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks'
One year Buddy and Edna went to the fair, and Buddy said,
'Edna, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance'
To this, Edna replied,
"Buddy that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks'
The pilot overheard the couple and said,
'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.'
Buddy and Edna agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of fancy moves, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word...
When they landed, the pilot turned to Buddy and said,
'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!'
Buddy replied,
'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Edna fell out, but you know, Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!'

An old man, a schoolboy, a lawyer, a doctor, and a community service worker are all on a plane with only four parachutes when...

The pilot of the plane has a stroke and passes away. As the plane plummets its passengers to death the five members of the aircraft argue over who deserve to have the four bags containing the parachutes.

Social Worker: I deserve to live because I protect vulnerable children and support families in need of assistance.

The Social Worker grabs the nearest bag and plummets out of the aircraft.

Lawyer: I deserve to live because I advocate for my clients through my sharp wit and massive knowledge.

The lawyer grabs the second bag and plummets out of the aircraft.

Doctor: I deserve to live because i help diagnose ill people with my specialized training.

The doctor grabs the third bag and plummets out of the aircraft.

This leaves only the schoolboy and the old man in the plane with is descending toward the ground.

The Old Man: Go ahead boy. Take the last parachute. You have many years ahead of you while I am just an Old Man who is soon to die anyway.

Schoolboy: Thats ok Old Man we can both take a parachute. Look there are still two left

The Old Man’s eyes widen with surprise.

The Old Man: Wha...but how is this possible

Schoolboy: The lawyer with the sharp wit and expansive knowledge took my school backpack.

Found this on my computer science teacher's webpage

A helicopter with a pilot and a single passenger was flying
around above Seattle when a malfunction disabled all of the
aircraft's navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the darkness and haze, the pilot could not determine the
helicopter's position and course to get back to the airport.

The pilot saw a tall building with lights on and flew toward it,
the pilot had the passenger draw a handwritten sign reading,
"WHERE AM I?", and hold it up for the building's occupants to
see.

People in the building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a
large sign, and held it in a building window.

Their sign said, "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the
course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.

After they were on the ground, the passenger asked the pilot how
the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their
position.

The pilot responded, "I knew that had to be the Microsoft
support building, they gave me a technically correct but
entirely useless answer."

Two blind pilots enter a plane

They have sunglasses and white sticks. As the plane starts to move, the passengers are uncomfortable. The plane gains speed, but it stays on the ground. The remaining runway gets smaller and smaller, and the plane is rushing towards a fence.

The passengers start shrieking and suddenly the plane lifts, avoiding the fence at the last second. All the passengers calm down, thinking it was a bad joke.

In the pilot cabin, the co-pilot turns to the pilot and says :
"You know what? One day they're going to scream too late, and we're all going to die"

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that she had missed Janie.

“Janie, do you have a story to share?”

“Yes, ma’am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, until the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”

“Good Heavens,” said the horrified teacher.

“What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?”

“Stay away from Mommy when she’s been drinking.”

Ten dollars is ten dollars.

Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane."
And every year Martha would say, "I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."


One year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance."
Martha replied, "Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."
The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal, I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars."
Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they went.


The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard.
He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word.
They landed and the pilot turned to Stumpy, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't." Stumpy replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."

edit--format

A C-130 is being escorted by two F-16s.

Tired from following the slow-moving plane, one of the F-16 pilots tells his partner, "Hey watch what I can do." With that, he leaves the C-130's side and performs a series of barrel rolls.

"That's nothing" says the second F-16 pilot and he also leaves his spot and does even more spectacular tricks. The two F-16s continue showing off. When they finally fall back into place the C-130 pilot comes on the mike.

"I bet I can do something you can't" he says.

"Yeah, right, prove it" says one of the F-16 pilots.

"Watch this," says the C-130 pilot and continues flying in a straight line. After a few minutes, the F-16 pilot comes back on the mic and says

"We didn't see anything, you liar"

"You're the liar" the C-130 pilot says, "I went to the bathroom for a smoke break and a dump"

A young Army officer was severely wounded in the head by a grenade

, but the only visible, permanent injury was that both of his ears were amputated.

Since his remaining hearing was sufficient, he remained in the Army. Many years later he eventually rose to the rank of Major General.

He was, however, very sensitive about his appearance. One day the General was interviewing three servicemen who were candidates for his headquarters staff.

The first was a Squadron Leader pilot from Air Force , and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the General asked him, 'Do you notice anything different about me?' The young officer answered, 'Why, yes, Sir, I couldn't help but notice that you have no ears.' The general was displeased with his lack of tact and threw him out.

The second interview was with a Naval Lieutenant Commander, and he was even better. The General then asked him the same question, 'Do you notice anything different about me?' He replied sheepishly, 'Well, sir, you have no ears.' The General threw him out also.

The third interview was with an Infantryman and a commando qualified Major.

The General liked this guy, and went ahead with the same question, 'Do you notice anything different about me?' To his surprise the Major said, 'Yes, sir, you wear contact lenses.'

The General was very impressed and thought, 'What an incredibly observant officer, and he didn't mention my ears.'

He asked, 'Major, how do you know I wear contacts?' 'Well, sir,' the officer replied, 'It's pretty hard to wear glasses with no f******g ears.'

A helicopter with a pilot and a single passenger was flying around above Seattle

A helicopter with a pilot and a single passenger was flying around above Seattle when a malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the darkness and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to get back to the airport.

The pilot saw a tall building with lights on and flew toward it, the pilot had the passenger draw a handwritten sign reading, "WHERE AM I?", and hold it up for the building's occupants to see.

People in the building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window.

Their sign said, "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.

After they were on the ground, the passenger asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position.

The pilot responded, "I knew that had to be the Microsoft support building, they gave me a technically correct but entirely useless answer."

Donald Trump is flying over New York City

He looks out of the window and says to his family, "You know what, I'm gonna throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy!"

His son looks at him and says, "Dad, why don't you throw two hundred $5 bills out of the window? Then you can make two hundred people happy."

Donald says, "Son, that's a great idea!"

His wife turns to him and says, "Donald, why not throw one thousand $1 bills out the window? You could make one thousand people happy!"

Donald looks at her and says, "Babe, that is a fantastic idea! The best I've heard!"

The pilot turns and looks at Trump and says, "As long as you're at it, why don't you throw yourself out of the window and make millions of people happy?"

Blind pilots

A plane is preparing for takeoff with a full load of passengers when the pilot and copilot board--both with dark sunglasses and tapping walking sticks for guidance. The passengers are understandably uncomfortable, but assume it must be some sort of practical joke, so they say nothing.

As the plane begins to accelerate, the passengers see the end of the runway rapidly approaching, with certain doom awaiting at the end if the pilots really can't see what they're doing. Just before the end of the runway, all the passengers scream together--right before the plane lifts off. They're a little upset, but relieved that the pilots aren't really blind.

In the cockpit, the pilot turned to his copilot and remarked: "you know, Lou, one of these days they're not going to scream in time, and then we'll be in real trouble!"

A flight is on its way to Sydney when a blonde in economy class gets up, and moves up to the first class section and sits down.

The flight attendant watches her do this, and asks to see her ticket.

She then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class, and that she will have to sit in the back.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Sydney and I’m staying right here”.

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde bimbo sitting in first class, that belongs in economy, and won’t move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Sydney and I’m staying right here”.

The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won’t listen to reason.

The pilot says, “You said she is a blonde? I’ll handle this, I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde”.

He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, “Oh, I’m sorry” and gets up and goes back to her seat in economy.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

I told her, “First class isn’t going to Sydney “

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