Bat Jokes

A cop is confronted by a white guy with a gun and a black guy with a nerf bat. Who does he shoot first? The bystander with the camera.

Score: 826

So Tim Tebow just hit a home run in his first professional at bat But he had no idea what to do once he got to third base.

Score: 357

Years ago, I viciously beat up my high school bully with a baseball bat. Both of his arms were broken. Come to think of it, that's probably why I felt brave enough to beat him up.

Score: 351

I saw a giant mouse so I tried killing it with a baseball bat So now I have a lifetime ban from Disneyland

Score: 286

TIL that at age 13 Jewish girls have a Bat Mitzvah and at age 15 Latina girls have a... Baby shower.

Score: 215
Funny Bat Jokes
Score: 210

Please pray for my wife.... A spider bit her on the forehead and she is now in the E.R. They said she almost died.
Lucky for her, I was near and hit the spider as hard as I could with a bat right when it bit her.

Score: 178

Never Hit A Guy With Glasses Hit him with a baseball bat.

Score: 141

What do you call a green bat that walks across a yellow bridge? I don’t know, but at least it isn’t a repost

Score: 60

Back in the DOS days, I wrote a single file program that was a hit. baseball.bat

Score: 45

What did the boy bat send to the girl bat? sapnu puas

Score: 30

How do the ladies get Batman to come? Ask Lt. Gordon to turn on the bat-signal.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

Score: 29

China really got the best baseball team. Them people took out half of the world with one bat.

Score: 22

An old lady is walking down the street singing "21 today, 21 today." A young man beside her snaps "You're not 21 you old bat." With a snap she slams her cane into his head and walks away singing.

"22 today, 22 today." With a smile.

Score: 20

Two bats were hanging upside down in a cave The first bat asks the second, “Do you remember the worst day of your life?”

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“I sure do," said the second bat. "It was the day I had diarrhea.”

Score: 18

You'd be surprised how easy it is to pick up girls All it takes is a respectful attitude, a low key vibe, a breezy sense of humour, a nice beard, duct tape, and a baseball bat.

Score: 16

I recently saved my town from an invasion of monsters and demons by fighting them off with my trusty baseball bat My neighbours are furious and keep telling me that I ruined halloween

Score: 13

Why are batman and black man different? Bat man can go a whole night without robin

Score: 13

What did one orphan say to another? "Robin, get to the bat mobile."

Score: 12

What’s brown and very bad for your dental health? A baseball bat.

Score: 12

How does batman schedule a task on his computer? With a .bat script

Score: 12

Which country can play baseball the best? China because they knocked out the entire world with just one bat.

Score: 12

Some kid was being annoying so I hit him on the face with a baseball bat. He started crying and I didn't even bat an eye.

Score: 11

Why did the vampire have to get glasses? Because he was blind as a bat!

(My 4 year old sister came up with this one yesterday)

Score: 11

Batman: I must save this city Alfred: Well you’re a billionaire so maybe you can redistribu...

Batman: This bat suit is the only way

Score: 11

What does Dracula's torch run on? *Bat-teries* now give me my five karma

Score: 11

Exploring Wayne Manor Robin: You didn’t name everything in the bathroom after you too, did you?

Batman: Of course not.

Robin:

Batman: OK, yes, there’s the bat-shampoo.

Robin:

Batman: But there’s also conditioner Gordon.

Score: 10

Joker: "Someone said you sound like an owl more than a bat" Bat: "WHO?"

Score: 9

It took some time for every country to have the corona virus but China got it right off the bat

Score: 9

What do you sing at a twins bat mitzvah? Happy birthday two Jews

Score: 8

Robert Pattinson was the worst vampire ever. It took him over ten years to turn into a bat.

Score: 5

What the difference between gotham and the world in gotham the bat never killed anyone

Score: 4

You guys see that new Black Panther Trailer yet? It's set in the vibrant and prosperous African country of Wakanda. So right off the bat you know its fiction

Score: 3

What’s the difference between Bat man and Black man? Bat man can go into a store without Robin

Score: 3

Why couldn't Robin call Batman? Because he had bat signal.

Score: 2

I was trying to figure out how to properly hold a baseball bat then it struck me

Score: 1

A bat is flying in the dark of the night and suddenly smashes into a tree. Seconds later it gets up off the ground rubbing its head and mumbles: "Damned iPod, it will kill me one day"

Score: 1

what's the difference between Bat Man and a black guy? what's the difference between batman and a black guy?

Bat Man can walk into a store without Robin'!

Score: 1

Due to COVID concerns, short-lived games of Major League Baseball spring training were cancelled... right off the bat.

Score: 1

What do a baseball bat and a box of chocolates have in common? They can both kill a dog.

Score: 0

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