A cop is confronted by a white guy with a gun and a black guy with a nerf bat. Who does he shoot first? The bystander with the camera.
So Tim Tebow just hit a home run in his first professional at bat But he had no idea what to do once he got to third base.
Years ago, I viciously beat up my high school bully with a baseball bat. Both of his arms were broken. Come to think of it, that's probably why I felt brave enough to beat him up.
I saw a giant mouse so I tried killing it with a baseball bat So now I have a lifetime ban from Disneyland
TIL that at age 13 Jewish girls have a Bat Mitzvah and at age 15 Latina girls have a... Baby shower.
Please pray for my wife....
A spider bit her on the forehead and she is now in the E.R. They said she almost died.
Lucky for her, I was near and hit the spider as hard as I could with a bat right when it bit her.
Never Hit A Guy With Glasses Hit him with a baseball bat.
What do you call a green bat that walks across a yellow bridge? I don’t know, but at least it isn’t a repost
Back in the DOS days, I wrote a single file program that was a hit. baseball.bat
What did the boy bat send to the girl bat? sapnu puas
How do the ladies get Batman to come?
Ask Lt. Gordon to turn on the bat-signal.
Get your mind out of the gutter.
China really got the best baseball team. Them people took out half of the world with one bat.
An old lady is walking down the street singing "21 today, 21 today."
A young man beside her snaps "You're not 21 you old bat." With a snap she slams her cane into his head and walks away singing.
"22 today, 22 today." With a smile.
Two bats were hanging upside down in a cave
The first bat asks the second, “Do you remember the worst day of your life?”
“I sure do," said the second bat. "It was the day I had diarrhea.”
You'd be surprised how easy it is to pick up girls All it takes is a respectful attitude, a low key vibe, a breezy sense of humour, a nice beard, duct tape, and a baseball bat.
Why are batman and black man different? Bat man can go a whole night without robin
I recently saved my town from an invasion of monsters and demons by fighting them off with my trusty baseball bat My neighbours are furious and keep telling me that I ruined halloween
What did one orphan say to another? "Robin, get to the bat mobile."
What’s brown and very bad for your dental health? A baseball bat.
How does batman schedule a task on his computer? With a .bat script
Which country can play baseball the best? China because they knocked out the entire world with just one bat.
Some kid was being annoying so I hit him on the face with a baseball bat. He started crying and I didn't even bat an eye.
Why did the vampire have to get glasses?
Because he was blind as a bat!
(My 4 year old sister came up with this one yesterday)
Batman: I must save this city
Alfred: Well you’re a billionaire so maybe you can redistribu...
Batman: This bat suit is the only way
What does Dracula's torch run on? *Bat-teries* now give me my five karma
Exploring Wayne Manor
Robin: You didn’t name everything in the bathroom after you too, did you?
Batman: Of course not.
Batman: OK, yes, there’s the bat-shampoo.
Batman: But there’s also conditioner Gordon.
Joker: "Someone said you sound like an owl more than a bat" Bat: "WHO?"
It took some time for every country to have the corona virus but China got it right off the bat
What do you sing at a twins bat mitzvah? Happy birthday two Jews
I saw a rat , so i found a bat and started hitting. My son was crying , I'm banned from chucky cheese's.
Just heard my ex just moved in with her boyfriend and he's abusive. Makes me wanna go over there with a baseball bat...
... and then blame it on the boyfriend
Credits ~ Anthony Jeselnik
Terrorists have an Off-Switch. It’s in the back of their heads. Use a baseball bat to activate.
Robert Pattinson was the worst vampire ever. It took him over ten years to turn into a bat.
A mouse entered my house He ate everything, even drank some redbull and now I have a bat problem
2 men exploring find a bat in a cave... Decide to go back and play baseball
What the difference between gotham and the world in gotham the bat never killed anyone
What store does Batman go to? Bed, Bat, and Beyond
What’s the difference between Bat man and Black man? Bat man can go into a store without Robin
How do you give a vampire a concussion? Hit it with a bat
We all may get Coronavirus But China got it right off the bat
What do a baseball bat and a box of chocolates have in common? They can both kill a dog.
I could be Bat Man but I could also not be Bat Man However, you haven’t seen Bat Man and I in the same place
Why did the vampire need mouthwash? Because he had bat breath.
You guys see that new Black Panther Trailer yet? It's set in the vibrant and prosperous African country of Wakanda. So right off the bat you know its fiction
what's the difference between Bat Man and a black guy?
what's the difference between batman and a black guy?
Bat Man can walk into a store without Robin'!
I may not know much about golf but I know how to hold the bat.
A bat is flying in the dark of the night and suddenly smashes into a tree. Seconds later it gets up off the ground rubbing its head and mumbles: "Damned iPod, it will kill me one day"
Funny how people get all angry when you break something of theirs that never use Like turn signals with a baseball bat.
How do you find out the capitol of Turkmenistan? You Ash-ga-bat it!
I was trying to figure out how to properly hold a baseball bat then it struck me
I was standing out side the other day and a bat flew at my head it was a Louisville Slugger and I don't remember much after that.