I saw a giant mouse so I tried killing it with a baseball bat So now I have a lifetime ban from Disneyland
So Tim Tebow just hit a home run in his first professional at bat But he had no idea what to do once he got to third base.
TIL that at age 13 Jewish girls have a Bat Mitzvah and at age 15 Latina girls have a... Baby shower.
Please pray for my wife....
A spider bit her on the forehead and she is now in the E.R. They said she almost died.
Lucky for her, I was near and hit the spider as hard as I could with a bat right when it bit her.
What do you call a green bat that walks across a yellow bridge? I don’t know, but at least it isn’t a repost
Joke from my 3 year old daughter
I was putting my daughter to bed tonight and she told me she had a joke for me.
What kind of bat knows the A, B, Cs?
Two bats were hanging upside down in a cave
The first bat asks the second, “Do you remember the worst day of your life?”
“I sure do," said the second bat. "It was the day I had diarrhea.”
Batman: I must save this city
Alfred: Well you’re a billionaire so maybe you can redistribu...
Batman: This bat suit is the only way
Some kid was being annoying so I hit him on the face with a baseball bat. He started crying and I didn't even bat an eye.
Baby rat and mommy rat were walking down a dirt road when a bat flies by
Baby rat turns to his mom and says:
-Look ma, an angel.
I had to tell my neighbour this morning i hit her cat
She asked " is it bad"
I said "well, it broke my cricket bat in half"
The worst thing about the pandemic... ...is that I can’t find an unbiased review of bat soup.
I saw a rat , so i found a bat and started hitting. My son was crying , I'm banned from chucky cheese's.
Terrorists have an Off-Switch. It’s in the back of their heads. Use a baseball bat to activate.
A mouse entered my house He ate everything, even drank some redbull and now I have a bat problem
Why can't dyslexic people use the internet in China? Because they get a virus when they open a bat
Put a spoon under your pillow, cancel school for a day. Put a bat in your soup, cancel school for a year!
I just bought this hair product that uses bat guano.
It's supposed to get rid of dandruff, but it didn't work!
Turns out it's just sham poo.
Batman is the Covid Vigilante
a) He covers his entire body except his mouth and nostrils
b) He’s a bat
He may be a superspreader.
chinese new years
All served with rice or chips, bat and pangolin scale sauce £1.00 extra.
The 1960s started with beetle mania The 2020s have started with bat fever... Well I’m hoping Covid-19 is just a one-hit wonder, you know, like “Come on Eileen” or John Lennon’s first wife
In Wuhan, a bat signal isn’t a request for a superhero to respond, it simply means dinner is ready.
China has finally released a safety warning about bats... Make sure you cook your bat to a minimum of 165°.
In the current climate you can walk in any shop that's still open with a mask on maybe even a bank and nobody will even bat an eyelid Until they see the gun anyway
Who knew that all it took was one bat from China... ... to completely eradicate the USA's school shooting problem!
Just to think the Corona Virus started from one bat in China... Talk about the Batterfly Effect
Kindergarten books in future:
Chapter 1: A saga of eating the bat and facing the crap
Line 1: Dont eat bat, dont eat bat
What happens when you eat a bat and get bit by a tick at the same time? That’s when the corona gets its lyme.
The sleeping bats
There are five bats sleeping like all bats do, upside down.
While they're all sleeping, suddenly one bat turns upright really fast.
So one of the other bats pokes his friend and says:
"Hey wake up! I think Jack fainted"
I could be Bat Man but I could also not be Bat Man However, you haven’t seen Bat Man and I in the same place
How to kill worm in your stomach Eat apples for 6 straight days and on the 7th day eat an orange instead , then the worm will come out of your stomach and ask " dude where's my apple???" then you take a baseball bat and beat him to death.
What’s the difference between Bat man and Black man? Bat man can go into a store without Robin
What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the bat mobile? Get in the bat mobile Robin.
In his later years Bruce Wayne retired and became a famous poet Apparently, he went from bat to verse.