Mushroom Jokes

Why don't fairies live under toadstools? Because there's not mushroom!

So a mushroom walks into a bar. Bartender says "We don't serve mushrooms here. You're always ruining jokes." The mushroom says "Come on. I'm a nice guy."

What did the claustrophobic fungi say to his friends? There's not mushroom in here

How much room is needed for fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible

How much space do you need for a fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible.

How much room is needed for a fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible.

I can't put anymore toppings on my pizza... There's not mushroom

In Soviet Russia policeman questioning a man: *This body is your mother in law, yes?*

**Yes**

*How did she die?*

**Mushroom poisoning**

*But why does she have 26 stab wounds?*

**She was refusing to eat them**

Why did the mushroom go to the party? 'Cos he's a fungi!

Why didn't he get in?

There wasn't mushroom!

How much room does fungi need to grow? As mushroom as possible.

How much room do you need to grow fungus? As mushroom as possible.

What kinda room has no doors and no windows? A mushroom.

So broccoli was having a conversation with some of his friends... The broccoli said: "I look like a tree!"

The mushroom said: "I look like an umbrella!"

The walnut said: "I look like a brain!"

The banana said: "Can we please change the subject?"

So----A mushroom walks into a bar the bartender says, "Hey! no mushrooms. Get out." The mushroom says, "Hey, what's the matter? I'm a fun guy."

What do you call a mushroom with a 12 inch stalk? A fungi to go out with

Why does the mushroom always get invited to the party? Because he's a fungi!

A mushroom walks into a bar... The bartender says, "We don't serve vegetables!"

The mushroom responds, "But I'm a fungi!!"

Every cloud has a silver lining... ... unless it's a mushroom cloud. Then it's likely strontium.

Classic Why'd the mushroom go to the party?

Cause he's a fungi!

Why'd the fungi leave the party?

Cause there wasn't mushroom!

Why wouldn't the frog lend his hammer to the mushroom? Because it's a toad's tool.

How much room does a fungi need to grow? As *Mushroom* as possible!

My first wife died... after eating a poisoned mushroom!

My second wife died of a poisoned mushroom!

My third wife died of a crushed skull.

She wouldn't eat the mushroom!

My wife went mushroom hunting all day and found nothing. I'm offering morel support.

Why was the mushroom the life of the party? Because he was giving out free cocaine

A mushroom walks into a bar and sidles up to a stool. Bartender: “You’ll need to leave. We don’t serve your kind here.”

Mushroom: “Why not? I’m a . . . fun-gi.”

Why was the mushroom invited to the party Because he's a fungi *bdum tsssss*

Why did I invite a mushroom to my cake day party? Because he was a fungi

Why did the girl invite the mushroom to the school dance? Because he was a Fun-gi

Mario games are unforgiving... ... there's not mushroom for error

Why did everyone invite mushroom to the party? Because he's a fungi.

What is a mushroom in a tent? A Campingon.

Did you hear about the mushroom hunter who was terrible at finding edible mushrooms, so would resort to stealing them from the baskets of other hunters? He had no morel compass.

I was going to grow a fungus farm in my backyard but there wasn't mushroom.

What did the vegans say when they were captured and put into a small space? Kelp! Lettuce leaf! There isn’t mushroom in here...

People often make fun of me for having a mushroom as a friend, their loss though... He's a fungi

How much room does it take for fungi to grow? As Mushroom as possible!

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Not Mine!

What did the mushroom say when it needed more time? Amanita minute.

Why did the thief Rob a mushroom store? Because he had no morels.

Did you hear about the new mushroom comedian? Yeah he’s a pretty fun guy.