Siri Jokes

Just asked Siri. "Surely it's not going to rain today?"

She said "it will, and don't call me Shirley"

...Forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode.

The sky above looked ominous, so I asked Siri, "Surely, it's not going to rain again today?!" It replied, "It is and don't call me Shirley!"

Guess I forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode…

Just asked Siri. "Surely it's not going to rain today?" She said, "it is, and dont call me Shirley".

Forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode.

I asked Siri "What do women want?" My phone has not shut up for the past three days.

I asked Siri why I'm single She opened the front camera

I asked Siri " surely it isn't going to rain tomorrow" and he replied " yes it is, and don't call me Shirley"...turns out I left airplane mode on

"Siri, why am I single?" Siri: opens front face camera

Me: "Siri, why am I single?" Siri: *opens front face camera*

What do iPhones eat for breakfast? Siri-al

(My 7 year old's joke)

My wife asked why I was speaking so softly at home. I told her I was afraid that Mark Zuckerberg was listening!
She laughed. I laughed.
Alexa laughed. Siri laughed.

So my pal asked Siri why he's still single.. Siri activated the front camera

I asked Siri a question and she said, “Don’t call me Shirley.” I must have left the phone in Airplane mode.

I just asked Siri "Surely it's not going to rain today?". Siri replied "It is, and don't call me Shirley." I forgot to take my phone off airplane mode

"Siri, why am I still single"? ...Siri turns on the front camera

“Siri, why am I still single?!” Siri activates the front camera.

I tried to use the password "beefstew" for my iTunes account. But Siri said it wasn't stroganoff.

Just asked Siri 'surely the weather is not going to be this miserable again tomorrow?' Siri replied, 'yes it will be and don't call me Shirley'

Forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode

Hey Siri, why am I still single? ***Siri opened the front facing camera***

I asked Siri to tell me a joke She turned the front-facing camera on

Asked my iPhone, “Surely I don’t need an umbrella today?”. Siri replied “Yes, and don’t call me Shirley”. Turns out I left Airplane mode on.

ME: Siri, what time is it? ALEXA: Who is Siri?

ME: Haha Alexa, I meant Alexa

ALEXA: Ok but who is Siri?

ME:...

ALEXA: Playing "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood

My wife asked why I was speaking so softly at home..... ...I said in case Zuckerburg was listening.

She laughed. I laughed.

Alexa laughed.

Siri laughed.

Trump: Siri, how many miles did i ran today? Siri: Sending missiles to Iran today.

My wife said someone is listening to us. I said do you believe in ghosts?

I laughed. She laughed.

Alexa laughed. Siri laughed.

"Siri, do you have free will?" "I am programmed to say 'Yes'."

I asked SIRI why I was still single. So she turned on the front camera.

Me: Siri, why am I alone? Siri: *opens front facing camera*

My wife asked me why I spoke so softly in the house. I said I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening. She laughed, I laughed, Alexa laughed, Siri too.

Credit: James Franco

I just asked Siri for a wake up call... She sent a photo of me, surrounded by empty pizza boxes and beer cans.

Siri why am I single? Turns on front camera

I asked Siri: "Why can't I ever get into a relationship?" The front camera on my phone opened up.

*My iPhone on Airplane mode* Me: Siri, surely it must rain today

Siri: It won't and don't call me Shirley

People complain about a lack of women in tech jobs That's nonsense - what about Siri, Alexa and Cortana?

My wife asked me why I speak so softly while I’m at home... I told her I was afraid Mark Zuckerburg was listening!

She laughed. I laughed.
Alexa laughed. Siri laughed.

My wife asked me why I always spoke so quietly in the house... I told her “I’m afraid Mark Zuckerberg would hear me.”

She laughed. I laughed.

Alexa laughed.

Siri laughed.

Siri annoyed me all morning. She kept calling me Shirley. Then I remembered I left my phone on airplane mode.

My wife asked me why I was speaking so softly at home. I told her Mark Zuckerberg was listening... She laughed. I laughed. Alexa laughed. Siri laughed.

Hey Siri, teach me Kung Fu! Neo, you need to unlock your iPhone first.

Hey Siri Me: Siri got any jokes for me?

Siri: *Turns on camera*