There is a horse. The horse says "I don't think." and disappears.
This is a reference to the Descartes quote "I think, therefore I am."
But if I had explained that earlier, it would have been putting Descartes before the horse.
Where do horses go when they get sick?
To the horse-pital.
Just kidding, they get shot.
I dreamt about a horse last night. It turned out to be a night mare.
A horse walks into a bar
"Hey", the Bartender says.
"Sure", the horse replies.
I just read somewhere that capitalization is the difference between "I helped my uncle Jack off a horse" and "i helped my uncle jack off a horse". Well that's embarrassing. Now everyone thinks my uncle's name is Jack.
Dear people who don’t write capital letters, We’re the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
100 years ago everyone had a horse and only the rich had cars. Nowadays everyone has a car and only the rich have horses Oh how the stables have turned
100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars.
Today everyone has a car and only the rich have horses.
Oh how the stables have turned.
Where do horses go when they break a leg?
Just kidding, they get shot.
A horse walks into a bar...
The bartender says, "Hey."
The horse says, "Sure."
What’s a horse’s primary concern when voting? A stable economy.
A horse walks into a bar and requests "Hello, I'd like some anthropomorphization please" The bartender replies: "I think you've had enough already"
A friend of mine has been rushed to hospital, after eating a horse-burger. Apparently he is now in a stable condition.
I have a horse named mayo... Mayo neighs.
Where does a horse go when it gets sick?
Haha just kidding, they get shot.
Don't order hay for your horse off Amazon. After a couple of days they'll ask for your feed back.
You can lead a horse to water, but in Flint the water will be lead.
My horse was way more aggressive than usual today it threw me off
a man comes into a bar...
or was it a horse?
yeah i think it was a horse.
so a man comes into a horse....
What's a vegan's favorite animal? A high horse
What's worse than beating a dead horse? Shooting a live gorilla
Where's the best place for a horse to grow up?
In a stable environment.
Sorry I'm high and it just came to me.
Which horse runs the city? The mare, of course
A horse walks into a bar,
The bartender says, “Hey!”
The horse replies, “Sure”.
I named my horse Mayo Sometimes Mayo neighs
A horse walks into a barn
A horse walks into a barn
The Barntender says, "Hay, the usual?"
It just occurred to me that we have to make all the jokes about Sarah Jessica Parker while she's still alive.. Because after she dies it'll be like beating a dead horse...
Capitalization... Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
The horse says, "I just realized that I'm a metaphysical concept within a fictional narrative and will cease to exist at the end of this sentence."
The vet determined that my horse constantly imagines himself to be homeless. He has been declared mentally unstable.
So a guy came into a bar...
No... wait, it was a horse.
So a guy came into a horse...
I think it's important to keep the races separate. Just imagine how unfair it would be for a horse in NASCAR.
I helped Jack off a horse. Jack seriously needs to learn how to climb down a horse by himself.
A man goes in to talk to his psychologist. A man says to his psychologist, "I keep dreaming that I'm a sadistic, necrophiliac zoophile. Should I be worried, or am I just beating a dead horse?"
What do you call a spooky horse? A nightmare
That has got to be the worst painting of a wagon I have ever seen "It's a horse-drawn carriage", replied the artist.
A pony recently got to work as a teacher, But 1 day before school starts he got a cold. Naturally he couldn't talk as loud as usual so the next day he comes into the class and says: "Good morning! Sorry if I'm being a bit quiet, I'm just a little horse."
Why didn’t the horse go to the bar on singles night? He was already in a stable relationship.
It should have been a pony.
A small horse walks into a bar and asks for a drink.
The bartender says "I can't hear you!"
The horse says "Sorry I'm a little hoarse."
The Melbourne Cup horse race is on again this coming Tuesday. I really hope the big goofy orange horse doesn't win.
A doctor asks a horse, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "My alcoholism is destroying my family."
Proof-reading is vital - for example, you might accodentally type "I helped my uncle Jack off his horse." When really, all you did was sit and watch.
Why do boars who make horse sounds live near eachother? Because they are neigh-boars.
I went to pick up the bag of horse hair I had ordered
Shopkeeper: we are out of horse hair but I do have this nice bag of prevaricating goose feathers
Me: I ordered horse hair. I am *not* taking this lying down!
I went to a hotel on Friday, stayed for three nights, and came back on Friday. My horse is named Friday.
Where does the horse go when it breaks it’s leg the horsepital. Just kidding It gets shot
If Jack helps you on the horse Are you going to help Jack off the horse?
I knew it wouldn't go well when my sister told my dad that she wanted to be a horse, but I wasn't prepared for the way he went off on her. ... into the sunset.
Why don't horse stables have windows
Cause qho has ever heard of stable windows.
(this joke is from an old point & click spongebob game)
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'why the long face?' The horse said 'my wife has terminal cancer'
You shouldn't say "i helped my uncle jack off a horse" Instead you should say "I spent the summer working on my uncle's husbandry farm."
I am going to buy a horse and name it "Mayo" so that then I will actually enjoy Mayo neighs.
What is a mute horse's favourite type of communication? Morse
Why did the pony order a glass of water? Because he was a little horse!
Why did Sean Connery's Horse drown? Because it was a Shehorse.
Clear and concise writing can mean the difference between "I helped my uncle jack off a horse"... and "I spent my summer working on the family's husbandry ranch."
A horse walks to a bar, the bartender asks, “Why the long face?” The horse replies, “My alcoholism is destroying my family”.
What's the difference between a horse and a gorrila? A gorrila sells the glue.
What's the difference between an equine animal owned by the Dalai Llama and and equine animal at Cheltenham?
Ones a Tibetan horse the others a horse Tibetan.
This is an entirely original joke that I came up with. I like it.
Do you want a stable friendship? Get a horse.
My doctor told me to stop eating pony meat It was making me a little horse
If jack was on A horse
If jack was on a horse....
And he wanted to get off the horse...
Would you help jack off the horse....
I phoned up the vet and asked how my horse was getting on. He said he's in a stable condition.
What do you call a horse who takes all the groceries in at once? A one trip pony
I frequently help my uncle Jack off his horse He’s much to old to do it on his own
The mailman asked the farmer if he had a horse that smoked sigars
Farmer replied no
‘Then your barn is on fire’
Edit: cigars obviously
A man walks up to a horse and says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "My wife left me."
If your Uncle Jack needed help off of a horse... Would you help your Uncle Jack off?
I've been told to take 'hung like a horse' off my tinder profile Apparently My Little Pony doesn't count
A Rabbi, a horse, and a leprechaun walk into a bar... ...and the bartender says, "What do guys think this is, a joke?"
Another horse walks into a bar
The barman says "why the long face?"
and the horse replies "because my entire family were killed and served to customers in Subway.
Horse walks into a bar, orders a drink, bartender says, "Why the long face?" Horse answers, "Because my alcoholism is destroying my family".
I ordered a horse from a rancher, but got a mule. Seems he half-assed it...
So this guy comes in a smokeshop
So this guy comes in a smokeshop.
No wait! A horse!
So this guy comes in a horse
Why did the man get a job as a horse handler? He wanted stable employment
Why did Horse Santa put his dentist on the naughty list? You don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
I ordered a horse from a rancher, but got a mule. Seems he just half-assed it.
Today I tried water polo. My horse drowned...
What do you call someone who's got a horse for a mother and a fruit for a father? A Frenchman.
A horse walks to a bar... Many people get up and leave the bar as they see the potential danger in the situation.