Minecraft Jokes

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Funniest Minecraft Jokes

Funny Minecraft Jokes

If there's one thing Minecraft has taught me . . . It's to never spend diamonds on a hoe.

Everyone's excited for the new Minecraft movie. It's sure to be a real blockbuster

If Minecraft has ever taught us anything... It’s that you shouldn’t spend diamonds on hoes

I made fun of the official Minecraft Twitter account So they blocked me

From my four and a half year old, while we're playing Minecraft together "Do you know how to make the cows quiet daddy?"

Me: "I guess you just turn down the volume"

Him: "No, you press the moooot button!"

Good kid, good kid ... Made me laugh anyways

What happens to Minecraft characters when they turn 16? They grow cubic hair!

I Can't wait for the Minecraft movie It's going to be a blockbuster

I've been playing Minecraft lately.... It's a very top-Notch game

I just heard that there's going to be a Minecraft movie… …it's gonna be a blockbuster.

What genre would a Minecraft Movie be? A Block-buster

Did you guys hear about the new Minecraft movie coming out? I heard it's going to be a blockbuster

Minecraft Me: I love minecraft
Friend: can i please join
Me: no
Friend: why not?
Me: this is minecraft not ourcraft

Minecraft taught me one thing It's never a good idea to spend diamonds on a hoe

Soviet Russia would've banned Minecraft Until it was called "Ourcraft"

Why was Minecraft the movie cancelled? Because all of the actors wore blockface.

If Hitler were alive today, he'd hate playing Minecraft Whenever he'd start mining diamonds, his generals would yell out "mine fewer!"

What’s the difference between a regular cat and a Minecraft cat? you’re allowed to move when a Minecraft cat sits on your chest.

What did they call the Minecraft player who built a clock in-game to chime at 4:20? A Redstoner.

What do priests and people who date on minecraft have in common? They're both really into miners.

I’m trying to make a meme on breaking bedrock in Minecraft But it’s way to hard

In Minecraft, there are the Overworld Lands, the End Lands, and the... Nether Lands.

Now I know why I can't play Minecraft in my Dutch class.

How do you know Minecraft Steve is interested in a a girl? He looks at her chest.

What would happen if Minecraft went communist It would be ourcraft

Steve From Minecraft walks into a bar. The bartender says “Hrmm, I can’t get you a drink.”
Steve asks why. The bartender replies with,

“We don’t serve Miners.”

Minecraft is 10 years old Older than half the people that play the game

What’s the difference between Minecraft and Lovecraft? Apparently not much based on Notch’s twitter

What do you have to allocate in order to crash a Minecraft server on purpose? Premeditated Wam.

Minecraft PiCkUp LiNeS Girl, are you a redstone torch, because you really turn me on

What was Jeffrey Epstein's Minecraft Server called? Miner's Welcome.

Why are minecraft players virgins? It would be wrong to smash a miner

A fight happened in my Christian Minecraft server Nothing too big.Just a little "Frick"tion

Minecraft releases a new movie Critics say its a block buster!

What does Hitler name his Minecraft worlds? Mein Kraft

I just love the new minecraft update. It's groundbreaking.

What do you call a Minecraft server run for autistic children? A regular Minecraft server.

I got Minecraft for my girlfriend Best trade ever

Who has mind stone Minecraft Steve, because he has mined stone

What was the first thing michael jackson did when he loaded into a new minecraft world He punched a tree-ee

My boyfriend locks the door to the room and stays up playing Minecraft all night and its weird He says things like "oh yeah, deeper, deeper." And "oh, it's gonna blow!"

I mean, I like digging and hate creepers too but sheesh.

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New Minecraft Jokes

i'm glad the minecraft good fortnite bad trend is over there's a difference between memes and just telling facts

i have killed 123 zombies 346 skeletons and i have bread over 1000 villagers. i also play minecraft every now and then

What do you get when you combine Minecraft and Sea of Thieves? Sea of Steves

What do Minecraft players call their crotch? Their Nether regions.

When your Minecraft girlfriend dies... And respawns on your friends bed.

The Arabic version of Minecraft runs approximately 4% faster. Because the letters are more aerodynamic.

Why does the minecraft enderdragon never reads a book ? Because he always starts at the end

I was playing Minecraft earlier... Creating some nice parks, linking them together. After a while, I made it to the end to fight the Ender Dragon. It did end up killing me, but since I was *in the end, it doesn't even matter.*

What did the minecraft villager say before he died? hmm

Hey Baby, are you a Minecraft Tree? Because I wanna beat you to death with my fist.

Whatvwas the first thing elvis did when he got on his minecraft world He punched a tree-ee

Minecraft was spamming me with messages So in the end I decided to block them Happy Birthday Minecraft

You know something? Minecraft taught me a valuable life lesson

Never spend your diamonds on a hoe

Been playing Minecraft with my niece. There's a creature called a Mooshroom. It's a cow with a fungal infection. Just like my sister.

Did you here about the Minecraft movie? I hear it's going to be a block buster

What is Minecraft called in North Korea? Ourcraft

What country plays minecraft the most? The netherlands.

Why do kids love Minecraft Because they are Minors.

They should make a Minecraft movie It would be a blockbuster.

Did you hear about Microsoft buying Minecraft for several million dollars? If only they realised that Minecraft cost 30$.

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Long Minecraft Jokes

A normal day at the Apple store

Me: *Walks into an Apple store.*

Apple employee: Hi, what would you like today?

Me: I got $1000 to buy anything I want.

AE: Then our iPhone XS will be perfect! You can have the power of a computer right in your pocket. You can call, text, browse, play games, and so much more!

Me: Uhh what's that black bar on the top of the screen.

AE: It's a notch.

Me: Like Minecraft Notch?

AE: No, it's a bar where all of the front components are housed.

Me: Well, it's ugly. Do you have anything else?

AE: You could get a MacBook Air. It's a beautifully crafted lightweight computer that has great battery life.

Me: Why can I see the pixels?

AE: Because it's an old computer. As they say, old is gold!

Me: Well this old is bad. Do you have anything else?

AE: You could go with the iPad Pro. It's an ultra-fast tablet that can do computer things. Look, you can even attach a keyboard!

Me: Why is it bent?

AE: It doesn't affect the functionality.

Me: I don't want bent products. What else is there?

AE: You could get our new Pro XDR Display. I mean the stand.

Me: ...

AE: No notch, can't see the pixels, and isn't bent. It's everything you want!

Me: Genius! I'm buying this.

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