Bass Player Jokes

How do you know when a bass player and drummer are at your front door? The knocking is out of time and they don't know when to come in.

Score: 569
Funny Bass Player Jokes
Score: 141

What do you call a bass player without a GF? Homeless.

Score: 80

why is the bass player stuck outside? he doesn't know when to come in and can't find the right key anyway

Score: 49

What's the difference between a bass player and a large pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

Score: 24

Why was the bass player arrested? He was caught fingering A minor.

Score: 19

What do you do when a bass player shows up at your front door? Pay him for the pizza.

Score: 18

What do you call a bass player who can get by without a girlfriend? A Master-Bassist

Score: 8

How do you get a bass player off your porch? Pay for the pizza

Score: 8

What do you call the crazy people who always hang out with musicians? Bass players

Score: 7

Women don't like bass players, apparently... Whenever I say I like thick G-strings they allways walk away, I don't know why.

Score: 7

How does a bass player pick up girls? He says "Hi I'm a guitarist"

Score: 7

How do you know when a bass player and drummer are at your door? The knocking is off rhythm and they don’t know when to come in.

Score: 6

Why can't you hear the bass on Metallica's And Justice For All album? Because they threw the bass player under the bus.

Score: 6

Cop pulled me over I was pulled over by a cop, for a random breath test

The cop shoved the machine in my face and asked me to count to 5

I counted 1.....2.....3.....4 and looked at him.

He looked back confused, Then I said “I’m a bass player.... I can’t count past 4

Score: 5

What do you call the people that always are around musicians? bass players.

Score: 4

What's the three toughest years of a bass player? Second grade.

Score: 4

What is the bass players preferred method of contraception? His personality.

Score: 4

Why did the bass player miss his second lesson? He had a gig that night.

Score: 4

Why couldn't the drummer make it to the show? He locked the bass player in the car.

Score: 4

Why was the bass player the most popular person in the band? He was a need to know bassist.

Score: 3

How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, he'll mess it up and the guitarist will have to do it.

Score: 3

What do you throw a drowning bass player? His amp

Score: 2

Three European contrabass players were denied access to USA at a New York airport... ...they couldn't let contraband trough customs.

Score: 2

Q: How do you know when a Bass player is successful? A: His girlfriend has a job.

Score: 2

How does a bass player turn off the lights before bed? He closes the car door.

Score: 1

How many guitarists are needed to change a light bulb? Five: one to change the bulb and the other four to tell him how Eric Clapton would do it.

Bonus: How many bass players are needed to change a light bulb?

Nobody cares

Score: 1

What's the worst news that you can give to a groupie? "You get the bass player."

Score: 1

How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb? None. The keyboard player can do it with his left hand.

Score: 1

What do you throw at a drowning bass player ? His amp.

Score: 1

A British bass player walks into a bar. Bartender says "You've got a steering wheel in your pants."

Bass player says "I know. It's driving me nuts."

Score: 1

What's the difference between a pizza and a bass player? Pizza can feed family of four.

Score: 1

Q: How do you make a bass player mad? A: Loosen one of his four bass strings. Q: How do you throw a bass player into a complete rage?

A: Don't tell him which one you loosened.

Score: 1

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