Goofy Jokes


Funniest Goofy Jokes

What's the difference between a deaf person and an Italian? One talks with their hands and makes goofy noises at random volumes, and the other can't hear.

Whenever my boss asks, "Having fun yet?" I say, "Are you kidding, this is my Disneyland!"

because my boss is a rat, my co-workers are goofy and this is a Mickey Mouse operation.

Funny Goofy Jokes

What did Goofy say when he got shot in the nuts by a soccer ball? F’yuck

What did Mickey Mouse say to Trump when Goofy threw a shoe at him? DONALD DUCK !!!

What's the difference between a deaf person and an Italian? One talks with his hands and makes goofy noises, and the other one can't hear.

You probably think that Goofy is a nice guy, and he really is. But just don't mess with his friends or he will hyuck you up.

If Goofy was a country singer, what would his name be? Gawrsh Brooks

I auditioned for the role of Mickey Mouse but I didn't get the part. The director said I was too Goofy

what do you call a goofy yak that's allergic to gluten? celiac silly yak

What did Goofy proclaim when his girlfriend was in bed with another man That's fine, I'm a Ca-Hyuck!

Why does Goofy like oysters? He likes to a shuck a shuck!

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Long Goofy Jokes

Do you know the story of the boy named Bonnie?

There once was a boy named Bonnie who was constantly harassed for his goofy name. He thought he was doomed to never find love because of it, but one day, he met a beautiful girl who didn't care, and they fell in love, got married, and had a child, a beautiful baby girl. But Bonnie was worried. "What if I give her a terrible name?" So he let his wife pick the name, and she named the girl Love. Unfortunately, Love was constantly ridiculed for her name, just like Bonnie had been, until she couldn't take it anymore. One day, at 16, after years of humiliation, Love came home with a loaded revolver. Bonnie was the only one home because his wife had gone out for groceries. Love kicked open the front door, revolver raised, and yelled, "Who named me? WHO NAMED ME?" Bonnie loved his wife very much and would do anything to protect her, so he took the blame. "It was me. I named you."
Love blasted 3 bullets into Bonnie's chest and then ran off. As Bonnie lay there, blood seeping into the carpet, his wife came home. Shocked, she dropped the groceries and held Bonnie as he died. "What happened, Bonnie, oh my god!?" And with his last remaining breath he whispered into her ear:
"Shot through the heart, and you're to blame. Darling, you gave Love a bad name."

I got kicked out of a bar last night...

It was a goofy place, they had a “classic music” dance contest. I was the clear winner. They played “The Hustle” so I did The Hustle. They played “The Twist” so I did the twist.

But then they played “Come On Eileen”

A lonely man sits at the bar...

He watches a goofy looking little man sitting and talking to a gorgeous lady, eventually walking out arm in arm.
He asks the bartender "How does he do that?"
Bartender replies "I dunno. He's here every night, and takes home the prettiest lady in the bar every time. And all he does is sit back there in that booth and lick his eyebrows."

I know everyone is tired of the negativity with all the recent events...

I'm negative too. I'm sorry. I can't help it. I just can't comprehend how this guy is so successful. How did he win? And to be on the biggest stage in the world now. It doesn't make sense. No one ever thought he was a real contender, but here he is.

With all the scandal, how people think his wins are illegitimate because of tampering, how he'll need an asterisk next to his name in the history books, etc. what are we supposed to think?

It is surreal: his goofy haircuts, his weird sense of style, his cockiness, his supermodel trophy wife, his ridiculous popularity with some people (yet I don't know anyone around me who likes him).

The media gives him so much attention, in a weird love/hate relationship. Some already say he's the greatest ever. How do you ignore it?

I don't care what anyone says, I'm rooting for him to fail.

Call me mean...I just don't like Tom Brady.

A guy with a cleft lip walks into a bar.

He asks the bartender,
''eckpshkoosh me spshir, may I have a drink?''
To which the barkeep replies in a similar manner,
''Why spshertainly, what would you like?''
A little off put, our friend orders a beer and sits at the end of the bar as another customer walks in, and with perfect articulation asks,
''Excuse me barkeep, may I have a shot?''
''Why certainly, my good sir!'', the barkeep replies flawlessly.
Furious, the cleft lipped man approaches the barkeep and says,
''Shleeriospshly, are you tryna make phlphun me or shumtin?''
And the barkeep with a big goofy grin retorts,
"Phluck no, I wash makin phlphun o' him!''

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