Goofy Jokes

What's the difference between a deaf person and an Italian? One talks with their hands and makes goofy noises at random volumes, and the other can't hear.

Score: 372

Mickey Mouse gets a call from his lawyer. The lawyer tells him "Mickey I'm sorry, but you can't divorce Minnie just because she's crazy"

Mickey says "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was f**king Goofy"

Score: 137

Goofy tripped over a stone and got hurt Mickey Mouse : Hey Goofy ! Are you okay?

Goofy(crying) : No i got hurt on my knee!!

Mickey Mouse : Oh No ! Which knee?

Goofy(pointing to his leg) : Disney

Score: 81

I got kicked out of a bar last night... It was a goofy place, they had a “classic music” dance contest. I was the clear winner. They played “The Hustle” so I did The Hustle. They played “The Twist” so I did the twist.

But then they played “Come On Eileen”

Score: 23

Whenever my boss asks, "Having fun yet?" I say, "Are you kidding, this is my Disneyland!"

because my boss is a rat, my co-workers are goofy and this is a Mickey Mouse operation.

Score: 19
Funny Goofy Jokes
Score: 14

Mickey mouse is getting a divorce Mickey mouse goes to a lawyer and says he wants a divorce. Lawyer says "unfortunately you can't divorce your wife cause she is crazy" Mickey says "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was f**king Goofy"

Score: 6

What did Mickey Mouse say to Trump when Goofy threw a shoe at him? DONALD DUCK !!!

Score: 5

What's the difference between a deaf person and an Italian? One talks with his hands and makes goofy noises, and the other one can't hear.

Score: 4

Why does Mickey always pick Donald over Goofy? Because Donald Trumps him.

Score: 4

Why did Mickey scare Goofy? To help him get rid of his hyuck-ups.

Score: 3

You probably think that Goofy is a nice guy, and he really is. But just don't mess with his friends or he will hyuck you up.

Score: 3

Mickey Mouse goes to divorce court to divorce Minnie... The Judge says "so you want to Divorce your wife because she's crazy?"
Mickey replies "No, what I said was She's F&#@ing Goofy."

Score: 3

If Goofy was a country singer, what would his name be? Gawrsh Brooks

Score: 2

what do you call a goofy yak that's allergic to gluten? celiac silly yak

Score: 2

I auditioned for the role of Mickey Mouse but I didn't get the part. The director said I was too Goofy

Score: 2

Why did Donald Trump cross the road? To get to the other side of Chris Christie.


From the book:
Donald Trump Is F**king Goofy: Jokes and Limericks

Score: 1

Why was Mickey Mouse so upset that Goofy's name was written in the snow? It was done in Minnie's handwriting.

Score: 0

The Melbourne Cup horse race is on again this coming Tuesday. I really hope the big goofy orange horse doesn't win.

Score: 0

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