Mothers Day Jokes

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Funniest Mothers Day Jokes

Funny Mothers Day Jokes

Poor Caitlyn Jenner. She missed Mothers Day & Fathers Day.

[In a seahorse home] Son: Dad? Dad: Yes?
Son: Happy M-
Dad: DON'T
Son: Moth-
Dad: STOP
Son: HAPPY MOTHERS DAY
*Dad bangs head on desk*

Palm Sunday For Dads ... Fathers Day,
For mothers ... Mothers Day,
For Lovers ... Valentines Day
For Wankers there is Palm Sunday

This mothers day send the gift of Microsoft Office Word to your mother

Dear necessity, happy mothers day! -Invention.

Asked my wife what she wanted to get for mothers day. She said, "Drunk."

What did you do for Mothers Day yesterday? Mothers Day is this upcoming Sunday.

I heard the abortion clinic was having a special 50% off on mothers day.

My wife just had the best Mothers Day EVER. She had all three meals served to her in bed, people waited on her hand and foot, and she didn't do any cooking, cleaning, or taking care of the kids. Of course, she's in the hospital :(

A special joke for Mothers Day What's the difference between three dicks and a joke? Your mum cant take a joke.

My mom gave me her credit card to buy her a gift for mothers day She said if I buy anything expensive on eBay she'll smash my head on the keyboarkqkrjfhufjffitufltudduyldrysgldzkteydculfdylyxdhdyd

Mother: (noun) 1.One person who does the work of 20. For free Happy Mothers Day all Mommy's out there ! :)

I can't wish my mom a Happy Mothers Day because she doesn't have Facebook. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY Admit you just had a panic attack and went to go check.

The best part for a man who is in an incestuous relationship with his mother ...is that he gets to celebrate mothers day and valentine's day for the same reasons.

Don’t do the dishes mom, it’s mothers day! Leave them, you’ll do them tomorrow morning before everyone wakes up.

What are the two mom holidays? Mothers day and Labor day

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Long Mothers Day Jokes

Mothers Day Prank Suggestion

I played this simple and harmless joke on my mum a few years back and the family still laughs about it. Here you go:

Go to the local greenhouse or place that sells plants. Buy a really nice flower pot (empty) and a bag of potting soil. This is the key, while you are there snag one of the tags from a nice looking flower that has its name, picture and whatnot on it. Make sure its something exotic so she is excited about it. Then fill the empty pot with potting soil, stick the tag into the empty pot and put a nice bow on it. When you give it to her say something like "the lady at the greenhouse said this is a really beautiful plant when the bulb grows but be sure to water it daily, it should grow in like 3-5 weeks". Done. Mom thinks she go a nice gift and you get to watch her water a pot of dirt for at least a month until she decides to dig up the bulb thinking maybe she killed it... At this point I suggest you have an actual gift ready to give to her because I had to make an emergency trip to the greenhouse after being told: DONTCOMEHOMEWITHOUTAGODDAMFLOWERFORME!!!!! or something like that. Dad was still laughing when I got home, and afterwords mom even said it was a pretty good joke.

What i told my wife for mothers day...

I said baby you're so ABCDEFGHIJK. Then she said to me what does that mean. I told her it means
Amazing
Beautiful
Cunning
Dazzling
Elegant
Faithful
Gorgeous
Hot

She then said awe thanks so much but what does IJK mean.
I replied it means I'm Just Kidding.
I then was kicked out of the house.

A bit late for Mothers day but still.

In elementary school, all the kids get an assignment to write an essay on the topic "There is only one Mom".

So little Ivica did his one, and the next day, the teacher goes around asking the kids to read out their essays. She asks little Ivica. He goes:

"So yesterday when I got home from school, my Mom asked me to go to the kitchen and fetch two beers from the fridge. So I yelled back: There's only one Mom!"

Your Mother...

- Yo mama is hairy, she shaves her legs with a weed wacker.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she jumped in the air she got stuck.
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone.
- Yo mama is so poor, when came over I stepped on a cigarette butt she said "who turned off the heat".
- Yo mama is so fat when I walked around her I got lost.
- Yo mama is so fat and stupid, when I said it was chilly out, she ran outside with a bowl.
- Yo mama is so dumb she tried to drown a fish.
- Yo mama is ugly, when she goes shopping they ask *her* for a bag.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she got fired from the zoo.
- You mama is so fat, when she jumped in front of my car, I swerved and ran out of gas.

Happy Mothers day everybody!

My accidental mothers day joke.

So, this year I accidentally bought my mom a mothers day card meant for grandmothers. 10 Minutes after i gave it to her she comes up to me and says "You didn't read the card you bought me did you? You accidentally bought me a grandmothers card haha". To this i replied with "No i didn't....Surprise!". I've never seen my mothers demeanor change so fast. Good thing she has a sense of humor.

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