Contents
Contents
I asked a girl to rate me out of 10 the other day
She said "you're an 8 on a scale of 10"
I still don't understand why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10.” I still don’t get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...
Archaeologists recently discovered a tomb When they dug the remains up they saw that the skeleton had a fine layer of chocolate on it and after months of intense research they discovered that it was the remains of the famous Pharaoh Rocher.
Why couldn't the skeleton hurt itself? Because it didn't have the nerves.
What room can't a skeleton enter? The living room.
A skeleton goes into a bar and the bartender asks,"What"ll it be Bones?"
The skeleton replies,"Two beers and a mop."
HAPPY HALLOWEEN ALL
My 82 year old Grandpa's favorite joke
A skeleton walks into a bar, sits down and says
"I'll have a beer and a mop"
What did the French skeleton say before he ate? Bone apetit
Why didn't the skeleton like to dance? Because he had no body to dance with!
A skeleton walks into a bar...
Bartender: What’ll be?
Skeleton: Give me a beer and a mop.
Why does the skeleton go to church? It keeps him on the straight and marrow.
Why did the skeleton not go to prom?
He had no *body* to go with!!!
As told by a Professor, in a serious Aerospace class, reading off of Laffy Taffy.
What's a skeleton's least favourite room in a house? The living room
What's a skeleton in a closet? A hide and seek winner.
A skeleton walked into a bar
A skeleton walked into a bar and asked for a beer.
And a mop.
A skeleton walks into a bar... And askes for a beer and a mop.
Tried to cash in on this kid joke thing. My daughter is a disappointment. Why did the skeleton cross the road? He didn't because he doesn't have skin and he just fell apart.
What do you call a skeleton key? A Spookey
Did you hear about the skeleton that couldn't go to the party? He had no body to go with.
My 9 year old daughter's joke
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had crippling depression
What do you call a blonde haired skeleton in the closet? Last year's Hide and Go seek champion.
A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer.... and a mop.
A skeleton walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer and a mop.
What so you call a corpse that won't admit it's own sexuality? A skeleton in the closet.
How much does 2,000lbs of bone weigh a skeleton
I asked my wife to rate my hearing skills
She said " i think you are an 8 on a scale of 10".
I still don't know why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton?
Why wouldn't the skeleton ride any roller coasters? He just didn't have the stomach for them.
3 Jokes about bars:
1.
A duck walks into a bar.
He says "Give me a beer. Put it on my bill."
2.
A typewriter walks into a bar.
He says "Give me a beer. Put it on my tab."
3.
A skeleton walks into a bar.
He says "Give me a beer. Uh, and a mop."
Why didn't the skeleton go to homecoming? because he had no body to go with
Why didn't the skeleton like spicy food? 'Cause he didn't have the stomach for it!
A skeleton walks into a bar He orders a drink and a mop.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.
What did the skeleton say before they ate their meal?
Bone appetite.
(7 year old told me this today).
Why did the skeleton show up late to prom? He was boning someone.
How much does a skeleton love his bones?
A skeleTON
(My 7 year old insist I post this, be gentle...)
A skeleton goes into a bar... And orders a beer and a mop
A skeleton went into a bar..
The bartender asks,"What'll be Bones?"
The skeleton replies,"Two beers and a mop."
Why did the skeleton never make it past 2nd base with his girlfriend? Because he could never work out how to unclasp the vertebra
Why does the skeleton like jokes so much?
He finds them humorous
(I'm so sorry)
Why does a skeleton upvote every cake day post? Cause it was his DOOT-ty
What did the skeleton say to the thin man? I'm bonier than you
what's a skeleton without its human? It's just a skeleton.
Why did the skeleton have no date? He doesn't have a body
Why didn't the skeleton like performing at the ghost theater? He was always boo-ed off stage. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Skeleton walks into the bar He asks for a cup of water and a mop
Skeleton molesters are a big problem There's nothing humerus about them
Whwt do you call a skeleton's favourite singer? Pelvis Presley
Why did the skeleton go alone to party? Because he had nobody to go with.
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he had noBODY to go with
What do you call an Asian skeleton? Shin Bone
skeleton walks to the counter
counter says 206
Explained: another meaning of counter is one who counts. skeleton has 206 bones.
Why was the skeleton sad? Because he was a nobody.
Why didn't the Skeleton cross the road? because he didn't have any guts . . (8th grade joke)
Why did the skeleton win the bodybuilding contest? Because he was RIPped..
Why didn't the skeleton go to prom? Cause he had no body to go with.
Why couldn't the skeleton and the witch have kids? Because the skeleton had a halloweenie.
Why did the one hand skeleton cross the street? To get to the second hand store!
A skeleton walks into a bar and he asks the bartender for a beer and a mop.
Why didn't the skeleton go to prom? Because he had noBODY to go with.
A skeleton walked into a bar...
A skeleton walked into a bar and asks the bartender:
"I'll take a beer and a mop."
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because he was fat, ugly and no-one liked him.
Skeleton A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a 'beer' and a 'mop'.
Did you hear about the skeleton who couldn't go to the party? He had no body to go with.
Why the skeleton didn't dance Cause he had nobody to dance with
A skeleton walks into a pub And says give me a lager and a mop.
What's the difference between me and a skeleton? A skeleton gets to be in my wife more than once a week.
Why is the skeleton always alone? Because it has no-body
Want a costume that doesn't show too much skin this Halloween? Dress up as a skeleton.
Why was the skeleton so lonely? He didn't have any body.
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Valentine's party? Because he had no-body to go with
Why did the skeleton not go to his prom? he had noBODY to go with.
Halloween is a great time for comedy Because skeleton jokes are always humerus
Why doesn't a skeleton fall in love with a human. maybe it's Because the skeleton doesn't have a heart.
Why Didn't The Skeleton Go To The Party? Because he had no body to go with
What's the fastest way to make a skeleton? Put a leper in a wind tunnel
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