Skeleton Jokes

I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10.” I still don’t get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...

Archaeologists recently discovered a tomb When they dug the remains up they saw that the skeleton had a fine layer of chocolate on it and after months of intense research they discovered that it was the remains of the famous Pharaoh Rocher.

Why couldn't the skeleton hurt itself? Because it didn't have the nerves.

What room can't a skeleton enter? The living room.

A skeleton goes into a bar and the bartender asks,"What"ll it be Bones?" The skeleton replies,"Two beers and a mop."

HAPPY HALLOWEEN ALL

My 82 year old Grandpa's favorite joke A skeleton walks into a bar, sits down and says

"I'll have a beer and a mop"

What did the French skeleton say before he ate? Bone apetit

Why didn't the skeleton like to dance? Because he had no body to dance with!

A skeleton walks into a bar... Bartender: What’ll be?
Skeleton: Give me a beer and a mop.

Why does the skeleton go to church? It keeps him on the straight and marrow.

Why did the skeleton not go to prom? He had no *body* to go with!!!

As told by a Professor, in a serious Aerospace class, reading off of Laffy Taffy.

What's a skeleton's least favourite room in a house? The living room

What's a skeleton in a closet? A hide and seek winner.

A skeleton walked into a bar A skeleton walked into a bar and asked for a beer.

And a mop.

A skeleton walks into a bar... And askes for a beer and a mop.

Tried to cash in on this kid joke thing. My daughter is a disappointment. Why did the skeleton cross the road? He didn't because he doesn't have skin and he just fell apart.

What do you call a skeleton key? A Spookey

Did you hear about the skeleton that couldn't go to the party? He had no body to go with.

My 9 year old daughter's joke Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have the guts.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had crippling depression

What do you call a blonde haired skeleton in the closet? Last year's Hide and Go seek champion.

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer.... and a mop.

A skeleton walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer and a mop.

What so you call a corpse that won't admit it's own sexuality? A skeleton in the closet.

How much does 2,000lbs of bone weigh a skeleton

I asked my wife to rate my hearing skills She said " i think you are an 8 on a scale of 10".

I still don't know why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton?

Why wouldn't the skeleton ride any roller coasters? He just didn't have the stomach for them.

3 Jokes about bars: 1.

A duck walks into a bar.

He says "Give me a beer. Put it on my bill."

2.

A typewriter walks into a bar.

He says "Give me a beer. Put it on my tab."

3.

A skeleton walks into a bar.

He says "Give me a beer. Uh, and a mop."

Why didn't the skeleton go to homecoming? because he had no body to go with

Why did the skeleton show up late to prom? He was boning someone.

A skeleton goes into a bar... And orders a beer and a mop

A skeleton went into a bar.. The bartender asks,"What'll be Bones?"

The skeleton replies,"Two beers and a mop."

Skeleton molesters are a big problem There's nothing humerus about them

Whwt do you call a skeleton's favourite singer? Pelvis Presley

Skeleton walks into the bar He asks for a cup of water and a mop

What's the fastest way to make a skeleton? Put a leper in a wind tunnel

Halloween is a great time for comedy Because skeleton jokes are always humerus

Why didn't the skeleton like performing at the ghost theater? He was always boo-ed off stage. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Why did the skeleton have no date? He doesn't have a body