Hilarious Skeleton Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Skeleton Jokes

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I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10.” I still don’t get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...

Score: 7427

Archaeologists recently discovered a tomb When they dug the remains up they saw that the skeleton had a fine layer of chocolate on it and after months of intense research they discovered that it was the remains of the famous Pharaoh Rocher.

Score: 109

Why couldn't the skeleton hurt itself? Because it didn't have the nerves.

Score: 79

What room can't a skeleton enter? The living room.

Score: 73

A skeleton goes into a bar and the bartender asks,"What"ll it be Bones?" The skeleton replies,"Two beers and a mop."

HAPPY HALLOWEEN ALL

Score: 66

My 82 year old Grandpa's favorite joke A skeleton walks into a bar, sits down and says

"I'll have a beer and a mop"

Score: 49

What did the French skeleton say before he ate? Bone apetit

Score: 36

Why didn't the skeleton like to dance? Because he had no body to dance with!

Score: 33

A skeleton walks into a bar... Bartender: What’ll be?
Skeleton: Give me a beer and a mop.

Score: 29

Why does the skeleton go to church? It keeps him on the straight and marrow.

Score: 25

Why did the skeleton not go to prom? He had no *body* to go with!!!

As told by a Professor, in a serious Aerospace class, reading off of Laffy Taffy.

Score: 24

What's a skeleton's least favourite room in a house? The living room

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What's a skeleton in a closet? A hide and seek winner.

Score: 22

A skeleton walked into a bar A skeleton walked into a bar and asked for a beer.

And a mop.

Score: 20

A skeleton walks into a bar... And askes for a beer and a mop.

Score: 19

Tried to cash in on this kid joke thing. My daughter is a disappointment. Why did the skeleton cross the road? He didn't because he doesn't have skin and he just fell apart.

Score: 18

What do you call a skeleton key? A Spookey

Score: 18

Did you hear about the skeleton that couldn't go to the party? He had no body to go with.

Score: 16

My 9 year old daughter's joke Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have the guts.

Score: 16

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had crippling depression

Score: 16

What do you call a blonde haired skeleton in the closet? Last year's Hide and Go seek champion.

Score: 15

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer.... and a mop.

Score: 15

A skeleton walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer and a mop.

Score: 15

What so you call a corpse that won't admit it's own sexuality? A skeleton in the closet.

Score: 15

How much does 2,000lbs of bone weigh a skeleton

Score: 15

I asked my wife to rate my hearing skills She said " i think you are an 8 on a scale of 10".

I still don't know why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton?

Score: 15

Why wouldn't the skeleton ride any roller coasters? He just didn't have the stomach for them.

Score: 14

3 Jokes about bars: 1.

A duck walks into a bar.

He says "Give me a beer. Put it on my bill."

2.

A typewriter walks into a bar.

He says "Give me a beer. Put it on my tab."

3.

A skeleton walks into a bar.

He says "Give me a beer. Uh, and a mop."

Score: 13

Why didn't the skeleton go to homecoming? because he had no body to go with

Score: 13

Why didn't the skeleton like spicy food? 'Cause he didn't have the stomach for it!

Score: 12

A skeleton walks into a bar He orders a drink and a mop.

Score: 7

Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.

Score: 7

What did the skeleton say before they ate their meal? Bone appetite.

(7 year old told me this today).

Score: 6

Why did the skeleton show up late to prom? He was boning someone.

Score: 5

How much does a skeleton love his bones? A skeleTON

(My 7 year old insist I post this, be gentle...)

Score: 5

A skeleton goes into a bar... And orders a beer and a mop

Score: 4

A skeleton went into a bar.. The bartender asks,"What'll be Bones?"

The skeleton replies,"Two beers and a mop."

Score: 4

Why did the skeleton never make it past 2nd base with his girlfriend? Because he could never work out how to unclasp the vertebra

Score: 4

Why does the skeleton like jokes so much? He finds them humorous

(I'm so sorry)

Score: 4

New Skeleton Jokes

Why does a skeleton upvote every cake day post? Cause it was his DOOT-ty

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What did the skeleton say to the thin man? I'm bonier than you

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what's a skeleton without its human? It's just a skeleton.

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Why did the skeleton have no date? He doesn't have a body

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Why didn't the skeleton like performing at the ghost theater? He was always boo-ed off stage. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

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Skeleton walks into the bar He asks for a cup of water and a mop

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Skeleton molesters are a big problem There's nothing humerus about them

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Whwt do you call a skeleton's favourite singer? Pelvis Presley

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Why did the skeleton go alone to party? Because he had nobody to go with.

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Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he had noBODY to go with

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What do you call an Asian skeleton? Shin Bone

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skeleton walks to the counter counter says 206

Explained: another meaning of counter is one who counts. skeleton has 206 bones.

Score: 4

Why was the skeleton sad? Because he was a nobody.

Score: 3

Why didn't the Skeleton cross the road? because he didn't have any guts . . (8th grade joke)

Score: 1

Why did the skeleton win the bodybuilding contest? Because he was RIPped..

Score: 1

Why didn't the skeleton go to prom? Cause he had no body to go with.

Score: 2

Why couldn't the skeleton and the witch have kids? Because the skeleton had a halloweenie.

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Why did the one hand skeleton cross the street? To get to the second hand store!

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A skeleton walks into a bar and he asks the bartender for a beer and a mop.

Score: 4

Why didn't the skeleton go to prom? Because he had noBODY to go with.

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A skeleton walked into a bar... A skeleton walked into a bar and asks the bartender:

"I'll take a beer and a mop."

Score: 4

Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because he was fat, ugly and no-one liked him.

Score: 2

Skeleton A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a 'beer' and a 'mop'.

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Did you hear about the skeleton who couldn't go to the party? He had no body to go with.

Score: 3

Why the skeleton didn't dance Cause he had nobody to dance with

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A skeleton walks into a pub And says give me a lager and a mop.

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What's the difference between me and a skeleton? A skeleton gets to be in my wife more than once a week.

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Why is the skeleton always alone? Because it has no-body

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Want a costume that doesn't show too much skin this Halloween? Dress up as a skeleton.

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Why was the skeleton so lonely? He didn't have any body.

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Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Valentine's party? Because he had no-body to go with

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Why did the skeleton not go to his prom? he had noBODY to go with.

Score: 2

Halloween is a great time for comedy Because skeleton jokes are always humerus

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Why doesn't a skeleton fall in love with a human. maybe it's Because the skeleton doesn't have a heart.

Score: 2

Why Didn't The Skeleton Go To The Party? Because he had no body to go with

Score: 2

What's the fastest way to make a skeleton? Put a leper in a wind tunnel

Score: 1