Hilarious German Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest German Jokes

What's the difference between a tea bag and the German football team? A tea bag stays in the cup for longer...

Bit of British humour right there ;)

A German got pulled over by the police in France *Police officer:* "Name?"

*German:* "Heinrich Klimt"

*Police officer:* "Age?"

*German:* "31"

*Police officer:* "occupation?"

*German:* "No, no. Just visiting"

A drunk German is urinating on a bush An American walks by, sees what the German is doing and says, "Gross!"

The German says, "Danke!"

I made a 1:1000 000 scale model german submarine it's a pretty good μ-boat

The most German joke I know (source: am German): Why are there so few crimes in Germany? Because its illegal.

As a German, you know what really grinds my gears? Nothing. German engineering is flawless.

My grandfather personally killed 30 German aviators during WW2 He was the shittiest mechanic the luftwaffe had.

A German was going to a trip in France... He reached passport control and the officer asked:

"Name?"

"Hans Kleiner"

"Age?"

"31"

"Occupation?"

"No no, just visiting"

A German joke from 1944 How do you tell an Optimist German from a Pessimist German? The Optimist studies English, while the Pessimist studies Russian.

As a german I have to ask: You know what really grinds my gears? Nothing. Our engineering is perfect.

No matter how kind you are... No matter how kind you are, German kids are kinder.

German joke translated, hope you get it: "Yesterday my wife ran off with my best friend..." "Yesterday my wife ran off with my best friend..."

"With who?"

"Thomas."

"But since when is Thomas your best friend?"

"Since yesterday."

My grandfather killed 30 german planes during World War 2 He was easily the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

Do you know what really grinds my gears? Nothing. I'm German and my engineering is perfect.

A German tourist comes to France ...a border control asks him

"Occupation?"

German: No just visiting.

What does a German snake sound like? ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß....

Otto the German was driving from Germany to Paris to visit some relatives. A French cop stops him and asks the usual questions:

cop: name?

Otto: Otto

cop: address?

Otto: 341 Brandenburg Street, Berlin

cop: Occupation?

Otto: no, just visiting...

A German walks into a bar and says, "can I have a martini please?"

"Dry?"

"No, just one."

A German man visiting France He's stopped at customs. The officer asks him, "Name?"

"Hans Muller" replies the German.

"Occupation?"

"No, just visiting this time."

My dad is German and dropped this one on me the other day. Dad: I never told you this but, my great grandfather died in the holocaust.

Me: Oh, man thats terrible.

Dad: Yeah, he got really drunk one night and fell off of the guard tower.

I asked a German girl for her number today. Apparently it is 999-999-9999. Weird right?

How does a Japanese person distinguish between a German and an extraterrestrial? He doesn't, they are both Aryans.

What do you say when a German shares a meme with you? Danke.

I‘m developing a phobia of german sausage I fear the wurst

TIFU by climbing into a German U-Boat Whoops. Wrong sub.

So I went to the club last night and asked a German girl for her number... and you'll never believe it! Her number is 999-999-9999!

My German friend told me to pick him up dry wine. I brought the bottle to his house and he said, "Thanks, where are the other two?"

What does the German say when you show him a good meme? Danke.

The German dream The teacher is talking about the American Dream in class and then asks the one German kid if they had a German dream. He responds, "We did, but nobody liked it."

Why do German girls all have the same phone number? Seriously, every one of them I ask says 999-9999

German women love me... I'm a ladies man. I saw this fine German woman. I didn't even have to chat her up for her to hastily give me her number. It was easy to remember 999 9999.

A German man walks up to a immigration desk in Warsaw. Immigration offcier: "Occupation?"

German man: "No, just holiday."

An Englishman,a Frenchman,a Spaniard and a German are watching a juggling show The juggler notices that they have a poor view and stands on a box.
He then says”Can you see me now?”
And they answer

“Yes”

“Oui”

“Si”

“Ja”

What did the NSA agent say to the other NSA agent when he saw the German Chancellor? I'd tap that.

During World War II, my grandpa single-handedly killed 30 German pilots. He was the crappiest mechanic the Luftwaffe ever recruited.

I’m on a plane and the lunch choices are white meat chicken or German sausage. Unfortunately, I’m seated in the last row. I’m hoping for the breast, but preparing for the wurst.

What did one German wheat farmer say to the other German wheat farmer? Gluten tag

I asked my german friends if they had Oculus Rifts yet they said "V.R. Ready"

TIL that in 1940 a German U-Boat captain found himself aboard a British vessel. Whoops, wrong sub.

New German Jokes

What do you a call a mean German person? A Deutschebag

Always makes someone laugh What does a German bread say?

Gluten tag.

A German walks into a bar and orders a martini. The barman asks "dry?" The German replies "Nein. Just one."

A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini. The bartender asks "Dry?" The German replies "Nein, just one."

So President Trump got into his Bunker because of the Riots. As a german Guy I can say from experience that from this moment its not getting any better.

How to insult an Austrian, a Swiss and a German Tell the Austrian he is German.

Tell the Swiss he should be German.

Tell the German the other two don’t want to be German.

What is the thinnest book in the world? 20 centuries of German humor.

A German gets to border security... Border guard: "Occupation?"

The German: "No, just visiting"

My grandfather downed 50 German fighter planes in WWII. Yep. Worst engineer in the Luftwaffe.

What borders on stupidity? Canada and Mexico.

(Stolen from a German friend on FB where it's apparently making the rounds...)

A drunk American was pissing on a street in Germany When a German girl walks by and screams “Ah Nein! “ The American guy says, “I’m flattered but I think it’s closer to 8.”

This cowboy walks into a German car showroom, And he says "Audi!"

Today I learned Italians have more than 250 specific hand gestures to communicate non-verbally, I asked my German friend if they had anything like it in Germany.. He said they have one but they are not allowed to use it

How does the German counterfeiter take his bourbon? On Xerox.

I asked a German girl for her number and I’m still waiting for the rest of the numbers So far all I have is a 9

A German man went to France for holiday. France border staff: "occupation?"

German: "No, no, no, just visiting."

When I was a child I was forced to work in a German sausage factory. It was the wurst experience of my life.

I took a road trip with my German buddy and when I accidentally dropped my hot dog out the window he swung the car around to go back and get it. . . That's when the whole trip really took a turn for the wurst.

A german was peeing in a street in New York... ... and a lady looks at him and says:

'Gross.'

To which the German replies:

'Danke!'

A German got pulled over by the Police in France. Police Officer: Name?

German: Heinrich Klimt

Police officer: Age?

German: 32

Police Officer: Occupation?

German: No, no. Just visiting.

A German man visits America for holiday. The TSA officer asks: "Occupation?"

The man says: "No, only holiday!"

I went to the club last night, chatted up this German chick and asked her for her number. and you’ll never believe it her number is 999-999-9999.

A weird little German kid just handed me a bunch of yellow metal Thanks for the gold, strange kinder

Our kids are very kind But German kids are kinder

What do the colors in the German flag stand for? Black: cars

Red: sausages

Yellow: beer

Blue: jews

What's the difference between Hitler and a guy with a pet badger? One is a Bad German and the other is a Badger Man

My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2. Still to this day holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

My grandfather was responsible for 49 downed German planes. Still to this day, he holds the record for worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

I want to make a joke about dictatorship. But I don't know whether to make it in Italian, German or English.

What did the German snake say? "ßßßßßßß..."

I've recently developed a paranoia for German sausages. I feel the wurst is yet to come.

A man enters a bar and walks towards his mate He passes two blondes and tells his mate, "Those girls really like me, as I passed them they were saying 9, 9. I'm so hot"

"They are German mate"

German guy walks into bar A German guy and his beautiful date sit down at a bar

He asks the bartender for a couple of martinis

The bartender ask "Dry?"

The German replies, "Nein, zwei."

I once saw a German Shepherd taking a dump on my front garden. Then his dog came along.

A German asks a Mexican if they have any Jews in Mexico. The Mexican says, “Sí, we have orange jews, apple jews, and grape jews!”

What do you get when you cross a brain tumor with a german sausage? The wurst headache

What language do they speak in Poland? Depends on the year, sometimes it's German and sometimes it's Russian.

My grandad killed 50 German pilots in WW2 He wasn't a very skilled mechanic.

Its 1938 and a German officer went to France for a holiday. At the border the French staff looked at his papers and asked : "Occupation? "

The German replied: "No, no, no, just visiting this time"

How do you greet German bread? Gluten tag

An English couple decided to adopt a little German boy. After two years, the child doesn’t speak and his parents start to worry about him. After three years, he still has not spoken and after four years, he has yet to utter a word.

The English couple figure he is never going to speak but he is still a lovely child, and on his next birthday, they threw him a party and made him a chocolate cake with orange icing.

The parents are in the kitchen when the boy comes in and says, “Mother, Father, I do not care for the orange icing on the chocolate cake.”

My God,” says his mother. “You can speak?”

To which the German boy replies, “Of course.”

"How come you've never spoken before?“ asks his father.

“Well,” says the boy, “up until now, everything has been satisfactory.”

The MI5, the CIA and the KGB are having a competition

Three small parties of all three Agencies meet on neutral ground, on the edge of a big german forest.

For the goal of the competition, they decided that each of their parties should catch a rabbit, using their espionage skills. The party that manages to catch the rabbit the quickest, wins.

First, the MI5 leaves for the forest. When they emerge eight hours later, they carry a live rabbit in a cage.
"We posted lookouts around the forest, and after spotting the rabbit, we shadowed it until it showed us his hideout, we then just placed the cage over the entrance and waited for the rabbit to fall in our trap. Neat and simple."

Now, it's the turn of the CIA. They leave into the forest and emerge four hours later, holding a rabbit which seems to have been shot and badly beaten several times.
"We used satellite surveillance to aquire our target, but during the tracking with four inconspicious vans, the subject tried to escape, so we had to use drastic measures. Still counts." Nobody objects.

Now, it was the turn of the KGB. The four agents disappear into the forest, and return after only an hour. But they are not carrying a rabbit, but hold a bear between two of the agents. The bear is badly bruised, has a limp and keeps his gaze to the ground. Absently, he mumbles "I am a rabbit. My parents were both rabbits."

A British doctor says: "In Britain, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's liver, put it in another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for a job."

The German doctor replies: "That's nothing,
in Germany we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for a job."

The Russian doctor replies: "Gentlemen, we took half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for a job."

The American doctor laughs: "You are all behind us. A few months ago, we took a man with no brain, no heart, and no liver and made him President.

Now, the whole country is looking for a job!"

ONE GERMAN, ONE JAPANESE AND A HILLBILLY WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA.

Suddenly, there was a beeping sound. The German pressed her forearm and the beeping stopped. The others looked at her questionly.

"That was my pager," she said. " I have a microchip implanted under the skin of my arm."

A few minutes later, a phone rang. The Japanese woman lifted her palm to her ear. When she finished, she explained, " that was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."

The HILLBILLY woman felt decidedly low tech. Not to be outdone, she decided she had to do something just as impressive. She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. She returned with a piece of paper hanging from her behind. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her.

The HILLBILLY woman finally said, "Well, will you look at that, I'm getting a FAX."

***Sweet Jesús! My first gold post! Thank you so much!!!

"Un, deux, trois, quatre", radioed the French ship...

...before it cinq.

"Eins, zwei, drei", radioed the German ship vierlessly, but then silence.

"Uno, dos", radioed the Spanish ship, and then disappeared without a tres.

"One," radioed the British ship before it went two.

"Won," radioed the American sub.

So a German, an Englishman and an Irishman

were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze when they were arrested by Saudi police. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so they are all sentenced to death!

However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to appeal their sentences down to 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh announced: "As it is my first wife's birthday today, she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The German was first in line; after thinking for a bit he said, "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but after only 10 lashes the whip had shredded the pillow. When the punishment was done the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying in pain.

The Englishman was next up. After watching the German in horror he asked, "Please tie two pillows to my back." This time it took 15 lashes, but once again the pillows were shredded, and the Englishman was led away bleeding and whimpering in pain.

The Irishman was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from the most beautiful part of the world I have ever seen. Because of this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," the Irishman replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable man from a beautiful island, you are also very brave," the Sheikh said with admiration. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish?"

And the Irishman said, "Tie the Englishman to my back."

Should English be the only official language of the EU?

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

Old German joke

An eight-year old boy had never spoken a word. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said, “The soup is cold."

His astonished mother exclaimed, “Son, I’ve waited so long to hear you speak. But all these years you never said a thing. Why haven’t you spoken before?"

The boy looked at her and replied, “Up until now, everything has been satisfactory."

The 3 Spies

There are 3 Spies that get captured. One spy is French, one is German and the other is Italian. Their captors come into the cell and grab the French spy and tie his hands behind a chair in the next room. They torture him for 2 hours before he answers all questions and gives up all of his secrets. The captors throw the French spy back into the cell and grab the German spy. They tie his hands behind the chair as well and torture him for 4 hours before he tells them what they want to know. They throw him back into the cell and grab the Italian spy. They tie his hands behind the chair and begin torturing. 4 hours go by and the spy isn't talking. Then 8 hours, then 16 and after 24 hours they give up and throw him back into the cell. The German and French spy are impressed and ask him how he managed to not talk. The Italian spy responds, " I wanted to!, but I couldn't move my hands!".

EDIT:
Glad everyone likes this joke. I want to give credit to a great friend of mine named Ron who told it to me.

A German, a Frenchman and an Englishman go fishing...

They fish quite happily for a while until the German catches a huge golden fish, but as he pulls it off the hook it says "Please don't kill me! Spare my life and I'll grant you all a wish!"

The German throws the fish back and says "I wish for a mug of beer that will never empty", and immediately a foaming mug of ice-cold German ale appears in his hand. He takes a long swig and when he puts it down, it's still miraculously full! The Frenchman and Englishman are, of course, amazed.

"I wish," said the Frenchman, "For a wall to be built around France, ten miles high and ten miles thick, so that nobody can get in and nobody can get out."

The fish screws up its eyes in concentration for a moment then says. "Done! And what do you want?"

"Is there a wall around France?" asks the Englishman

"Yes." replies the fish.

"Is it ten miles high and ten miles thick?"

"Yes."

"And can nobody get in, and nobody get out?"

"Yes."

"Well then," says the Englishman, "I want you to fill it with water."

[long] European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language...

of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility . As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English ".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy . The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter .

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter .

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling . Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away .

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v ".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

A Whipping

An Englishman, a German and a Frenchman are all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze when, all of a sudden, Saudi police rush in and arrest them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they are all sentenced to death!

However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentences down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping.

The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back. This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

The Frenchman was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again and the Frenchman was soon led away whimpering loudly.

The Englishman was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," the Englishman replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheikh said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish, what is it to be?" the Sheikh asked.

The Englishman smiled and said, "Tie the Frenchman to my back."

American Soldiers

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat.

The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged lady and was being used by her little dog. The war weary soldier asked, “Please, ma’am, may I sit in that seat?”

The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, “You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can’t you see my Little Fifi is using that seat?”

The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog.

Again he asked, “Please, lady. May I sit there? I’m very tired.”

The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, “You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!”

The soldier didn’t say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat.

The woman shrieked, railed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier.

An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, “You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road.

“And now, Sir, you’ve thrown the wrong b*itch out the window.”

A French, German and an Italian spy are captured.

Their captors come into the cell where the spies are being held, grab the French spy, take him to the next room and tie his hands behind a chair.

They then proceed to torture him for 2 hours before he finally cracks, answers all questions and gives up all of his secrets.

The captors then throw the French spy back into the cell and grab the German spy. They tie his hands behind the chair in the next room too and torture him for 4 hours before he finally cracks and tells them what they want to know.

They throw him back into the cell and grab the Italian spy. Once again, they tie his hands behind the chair and begin torturing.

4 hours go by and the spy isn't talking. Then 8 hours, then 16 and after 24 hours they give up and throw him back into the cell.

The German and French spy are impressed and ask him how he managed to not talk.

The Italian spy says, " I wanted to, but I couldn't move my hands!"

There are 3 Spies that get captured.

One spy is French, one is German and the other is Italian.
Their captors come into the cell and grab the French spy and tie his hands behind a chair in the next room.
They torture him for 2 hours before he answers all questions and gives up all of his secrets.
The captors throw the French spy back into the cell and grab the German spy. They tie his hands behind the chair as well and torture him for 4 hours before he tells them what they want to know.
They throw him back into the cell and grab the Italian spy. They tie his hands behind the chair and begin torturing.
4 hours go by and the spy isn't talking then 8 hours, then 16 and after 24 hours they give up and throw him back into the cell.
The German and French spy are impressed and ask him how he managed to not talk. The Italian spy responds, " I wanted to!, but I couldn't move my hands!".

A stoner is smoking a joint at a hostel when a German guy turns up.

The German guy speaks no English, but the stoner is feeling good so he offers the German his joint. The German takes a puff, thanks him, and hands it back. The stoner nods approvingly, and for some reason begins to roll another joint. He takes a puff himself, and hands it to the German, and again the German guy takes a puff, thanks him, and hands it back. The stoner looks pretty taken aback, but again he nods approvingly and begins to roll yet another joint. Again he takes a puff and gives it to the German, and again the German takes a puff, thanks him, and hands it back. The stoner takes the joint looking downcast and says “I’m sorry dude, that’s the dankest one I’ve got.”

German Baby Joke I saw on QI

A British couple decided to adopt a German baby. They raised him for years, however they began to get worried because he never spoke, and they believed that he was mentally handicapped, going as far as to take him to therapy, which was fruitless.
Then, when the child was 8 years old, he had a Strudle, and said "It is a little tepid."

His parents, of course shocked that he was suddenly speaking, asked: "Wolfgang, why have you never spoken before?", to which the child replied:
"Up until now, everything had been satisfactory."

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are watching a street performer.

The performer suddenly realizes that these men have a poor view so he gets on a small platform. "Can you all see me now?" He asks them.
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Sí"
"Ja"

Edit: changed accent on the Spanish word

A German, a Japanese, and a Russian were sitting naked...

... in a sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The German pressed is forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. "Oh, that was my embedded smart watch," he said. "Germany has the smartest engineers in the world and I've had one of their devices placed under the skin of my forearm."

A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained,"That was my mobile phone. Japan has the smartest engineers in the world and I've had one of their mobile systems placed in my hand."

The Russian felt decidedly low tech, but not to be outdone he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He exited to the bathrooms stall and returned a few seconds later with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his behind. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him. The Russian finally said-"Well, well, well comrades- it appears that SOMEBODY is recieving a fax!"

3 men are arrested...

Three men; a Russian, a swede, and a German have been arrested, and they've all been given a 6 month sentence.



Their warden however, is friendly and grants them all a 6 month supply of anything they want.



Upon hearing this, the Russian man jumps up in joy,



"I'll have some vodka!"



the German man isn't quite as excited, but he's still visibly happy,



"I will take zom beer, danke"



The swede scratches his non existant beard for a moment, before rising up,



"of course, I'll need cigarettes!"



The warden writes everything down, and brings the men everything they requested, before locking the men in their cells.



With something that they all enjoy, the six months pass by quite quickly for them.



........



Upon their release day, the German man, being punctual, is the first one to wake up an yelling over to the warden, soon walking out of his cell with his last beer in hand.



The Russian man isn't too demanding, as he gets out of his cell dancing trepak.



The swede, upon getting out of his cell, lets out a deep sigh as he look towards his friends,



"either of you got a light?"

German Jokes