Ghost Jokes

Happy Halloween... Why did the Ghost enter the bar... For the BOOOOS

What does a perverted ghost say? Booooobs.

My flatmates keep claiming that the apartment is haunted. I suspect they're just trying to skip out on rent. It's bullshit I tell you.

I've lived there for 224 years and I've not seen a single ghost.

What did the ghost say when it woke up with a bad hangover? “Man, I really need to lay off the boos.”

I'm gonna start a company where I drive people around to haunted places. It'll be called Ghost Bus Tours

What do ghost cowboys wear? BoOoOts

The ghost busters enterd the hospital to see their friend who has been diagnosed with cancer When they walk in their stopped by a doctor who says
-Sorry no spawn camping

Why did the ghost cross the road? To come back from the other side.

Did you hear about the stoner ghost? He got arrested for possession

Why did the ghost go to jail? He got arrested for possession.

What's a fat ghost's biggest fear? Being excercised

A ghost was arrested And placed in a holding cell with others as they await processing. The ghost turns to the man and asks "what did you get arrested for?"
"Shoplifting" he says, "how about you?"

The ghost smiles and says "possession".

Why did the ghost get in the elevator? To lift his spirits.

Why did the ghost barf all over his date? He couldn't handle his boos.

What did the Ghost teacher say to her class? Look at the board, I'll go through it again.

My roommates insist that our house is haunted I’ve lived here for 274 years and never once met a ghost.

What do you call a ghost with his own spooking company? A hauntrepreneur!

My 8 year old son wrote this... What do you call the ghost of a chicken that haunts people in their homes?

A poultry-geist.

What do you call it when a Chinese ghost hits you with a stick? Bam! *Boo*!

What do you call a french ghost that likes anime? A oui-a-boo.

Why did the ghost go into the elevator? To lift his spirits.

Did you hear about the ghost who got put in prison? He was charged with possession.

A ghost walks into a bar "Sorry sir" the barmen says, "We don't serve spirits after eleven"

Did you hear about the baby ghost who joined the football team? He heard the coach say they needed a little team spirit.

Why couldn't the bee dress as a ghost for Halloween? Because people are offended by seeing Boo Bees.

Before my buddy died I asked him if there was football in heaven. A few days later I saw his ghost. He said

"Good news, there is. Bad news, you're playing in goal tomorrow."

Do you want to hear a joke about a ghost? That's the spirit.


Disclaimer: My girlfriend told me this one and she has repeatedly said it pretty much since last Christmas and stills finds it super amusing.

What was Snoop Dogg's ghost arrested for? Possesion.

What happened to Casper the friendly ghost after his parents got divorced? His mom got soul custody.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper? One is white and scares young children and the other is a ghost.

Why didn't the ghost get accepted to Harvard? He wasn't a visible minority.

Why did the the ghost go into the bar? For the boos

Why was the milkman afraid on Christmas eve? The ghost of Christmas Pasteurisation.

Why did the ghost cry every weekend? 'Cause it's another Saturday night and he ain't got no body.

If the KKK owned a town... It would be a ghost town

Husband asks his wife if she wants to hear a ghost joke. Wife: “No honey I am not at my mood for jokes.”
Husband: “That’s the spirit.”

A ghost of a dog walks into a bar. He tells the story of how he was shot to bits and lost his tail. After asking if there was anyone to sew it back on the barman replied... "I'm sorry, we don't retail spirits here"

A mother ghost was putting it's child ghost to bed... Mother: "I love you~"

Child: "I love you boo~"

Mother: "I love you more~"

Child: "I love you the GHOST~!"

When does John Cena get scared? When John CENA ghost!