Ghost Jokes

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Funniest Ghost Jokes

Funny Ghost Jokes
Score: 10245

Happy Halloween... Why did the Ghost enter the bar... For the BOOOOS

Score: 522

What does a perverted ghost say? Booooobs.

Score: 483

My flatmates keep claiming that the apartment is haunted. I suspect they're just trying to skip out on rent. It's bullshit I tell you.

I've lived there for 224 years and I've not seen a single ghost.

Score: 291

What did the ghost say when it woke up with a bad hangover? “Man, I really need to lay off the boos.”

Score: 255

I'm gonna start a company where I drive people around to haunted places. It'll be called Ghost Bus Tours

Score: 114

What do ghost cowboys wear? BoOoOts

Score: 108

The ghost busters enterd the hospital to see their friend who has been diagnosed with cancer When they walk in their stopped by a doctor who says
-Sorry no spawn camping

Score: 102

Why did the ghost cross the road? To come back from the other side.

Score: 95

Did you hear about the stoner ghost? He got arrested for possession

Score: 94

Why did the ghost go to jail? He got arrested for possession.

Score: 92

What's a fat ghost's biggest fear? Being excercised

Score: 83

A ghost was arrested And placed in a holding cell with others as they await processing. The ghost turns to the man and asks "what did you get arrested for?"
"Shoplifting" he says, "how about you?"

The ghost smiles and says "possession".

Score: 80

Why did the ghost get in the elevator? To lift his spirits.

Score: 66

Why did the ghost barf all over his date? He couldn't handle his boos.

Score: 59

What did the Ghost teacher say to her class? Look at the board, I'll go through it again.

Score: 59

My roommates insist that our house is haunted I’ve lived here for 274 years and never once met a ghost.

Score: 57

What do you call a ghost with his own spooking company? A hauntrepreneur!

Score: 56

My 8 year old son wrote this... What do you call the ghost of a chicken that haunts people in their homes?

A poultry-geist.

Score: 55

What do you call it when a Chinese ghost hits you with a stick? Bam! *Boo*!

Score: 53

What do you call a french ghost that likes anime? A oui-a-boo.

Score: 42

Why did the ghost go into the elevator? To lift his spirits.

Score: 41

Did you hear about the ghost who got put in prison? He was charged with possession.

Score: 40

A ghost walks into a bar "Sorry sir" the barmen says, "We don't serve spirits after eleven"

Score: 39

Did you hear about the baby ghost who joined the football team? He heard the coach say they needed a little team spirit.

Score: 37

Why couldn't the bee dress as a ghost for Halloween? Because people are offended by seeing Boo Bees.

Score: 33

Before my buddy died I asked him if there was football in heaven. A few days later I saw his ghost. He said

"Good news, there is. Bad news, you're playing in goal tomorrow."

Score: 33

Do you want to hear a joke about a ghost? That's the spirit.


Disclaimer: My girlfriend told me this one and she has repeatedly said it pretty much since last Christmas and stills finds it super amusing.

Score: 31

What was Snoop Dogg's ghost arrested for? Possesion.

Score: 28

What happened to Casper the friendly ghost after his parents got divorced? His mom got soul custody.

Score: 28

What's the difference between a suicidal ghost hunter and a weaboo alcohol taster? One drinks bleach and watches spirits; the other drinks spirits and watches Bleach.

Score: 15

Why did the the ghost go into the bar? For the boos

Score: 8

Why did the ghost cry every weekend? 'Cause it's another Saturday night and he ain't got no body.

Score: 5

If the KKK owned a town... It would be a ghost town

Score: 5

Husband asks his wife if she wants to hear a ghost joke. Wife: “No honey I am not at my mood for jokes.”
Husband: “That’s the spirit.”

Score: 4

Why did the ghost go to jail? For giving boos to children

Score: 4

A ghost of a dog walks into a bar. He tells the story of how he was shot to bits and lost his tail. After asking if there was anyone to sew it back on the barman replied... "I'm sorry, we don't retail spirits here"

Score: 3

A mother ghost was putting it's child ghost to bed... Mother: "I love you~"

Child: "I love you boo~"

Mother: "I love you more~"

Child: "I love you the GHOST~!"

Score: 3

What do you call an adopted ghost? Transparent

Score: 3

When does John Cena get scared? When John CENA ghost!

Score: 2

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New Ghost Jokes

What did the boomer ghost say the millennial ghost? "Get a life."

Score: 0

What did the ghost say when he reached the top of the mountain? Peakatboo!

Score: 0

Last night in my bedroom I thought I saw a baby ghost Turns out it was just a pillow case

Score: 0

How come when the ghost tried to travel he never got anywhere? Because he could only make fright turns.

Score: 0

Why didn't the skeleton like performing at the ghost theater? He was always boo-ed off stage. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Score: 1

I think there was a ghost underneath my table last night I saw it’s legs

Score: 1

I have a super scary Ghost costume to scare all the kids The Ghost of Epstien

Score: 2

Where does a Ghost go to get it's teeth worked on? ​

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The Orthohauntist!

Score: 1

Q: What do you call a pervy ghost? A: A peekaboo!

Score: 2

ghost hunters be wary, there's a nasty spirit going around scaring people with a lit match... ...We all need to stop him before he strikes again.

Score: 1

A black couple saw some KKK members today It was like they saw a ghost

Score: 1

Why was the ghost not invited to the Christmas party?! Because he had no presence!

Score: 1

What does the Cajun ghost say? Beaux!

Score: 1

You know that fair maiden that Vincent van Gogh gave his ear to? I heard it was for the illustrious ghost, Mary the 1st of England.

Score: 1

A Ghost dressed up as human for Halloween Ghost knocks on neighbor's door: "Trick or treat!"

Neighbor says to his wife, "That's the spirit".

Score: 2

what do you call a fast ghost? spooky gonzales

Score: 1

What did the ghost mother say to her ghost son? Don't spook until you are spooken to.

Yep, 5yr old sibling dropped this on me as I was cooking...

Score: 1

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