Mole Jokes

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Funniest Mole Jokes

Funny Mole Jokes

So a mole goes into a club... And ends up getting Avogadro's number.

PSA: Vegans and Vegetarians should stop eating brown sugar immediately! It's made out of mole asses

What did the last mole leaving the hole see whenever he looked up? Molasses.

$6.022 x 10^23 Mole money, mole problems.

What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both live underground. Except for the eagle.

What's the Mafias favorite game? whack a mole

What's the slowest-moving body part in the entire animal kingdom? Mole Asses.

I'm getting my Darth Vader shaped mole checked out. I'm concerned because it's on the dark side.

What do you call a mole that doesn't feel pain? A Paracetamole

I had to go get a mole removed today God knows how he got up there!

What's the difference between a priest and a cryogenics researcher? Only one of them is a chilled mole tester.

Happy mole day everyone! What do you call a stripping chemist?

A mole dancer!

Why was Avogadro executed? He was a mole

A star bingo player goes to the doctor He was worried about a new mole growing on his body, worried that it was cancerous.

Bingo player: What do you think of the mole? Should i be worried?

Doctor: B9

How can you tell if someone is a chemistry major? They have a mole on their body.

How do you stop a mole from digging? Take his shovel away

If a mole working within the FBI were to come up with a joke what kind would it be? An inside joke.

Sherlock Holmes: My dear Watson, you have a mole on your right upper thigh. Watson (Amazed): Yes! How did you know?

Holmes: Simple my dear Watson, you forgot to put on your pants.

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P.S. My dad told me this today.

An exterminator goes to the doctor At the end of the checkup, the doctor says, "You are in perfect health, except for a large mole on your arm"

The exterminator replies, "Shoot, I missed one!"

What does the Pope order in a Mexican restaurant? Holy mole

I told my dermatologist I’m having second thoughts about getting a mole removed. It’s grown on me.

Why does the Sweet-toothed Mole have such a powerful sense of smell? So it can detect mole asses from a distance.

What Did The People Say When A Mole Was Elected As Pope? HOLEY MOLEY!

My grandfather told me this one Three moles are in a den, when one of them sticks it's head out and says "I smell molasses!" The second one does the same, but when the third tries to poke it's nose out it's blocked by the other two and says; "I smell mole asses!"

Hey doctor, can you take a look at this mole on my shoulder? Doctor: I'm a dermatologist, not a veterinarian!

My wife told me that the cats killed a mole and left it on our porch. After some investigation, I informed her that it in fact appeared to be a shrewicide.

My S.O. is getting a mole removed tomorrow, I need some mole jokes! This is what I have so far:

Are you a double agent? Naw just a mole

Why is it bad to tell mole jokes? They’re mole-itically incorrect

What do you see when you look down a mole hole? Molasses

Ripped a mole off my face today... Gotta stop looking down gopher holes...

What’s green, comes from Mexico and goes underground? A guaca mole

What do you call a conservative acting as a mole in the Democratic party? A decepti-con.

In honor of Mole Day: Why did the mole keep getting confused for a professional boxer? He was always making holey fields.

Doctor! Doctor! I'm really concerned about this mole on my back! Doctor: I'm a dermatologist, not a veterinarian

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Long Mole Jokes

There were 3 moles living in a hole...

One day, they wake up to the smell of pancakes cooking. The first mole sticks his head out of the hole and says "I smell pancakes!" The second mole sticks his head out of the hole and says "I smell syrup!" The last mole tries to stick his head out of the hole, but gets stuck behind the other two, so he said "All I smell is molasses."

Joke in honor of mole day

Three moles are going through the ground looking for food.
The first mole pops up out of the ground and sniffs around.
He says "hey guys I think were getting close I smell some syrup".
The next mole pops up and says "ya we must be a smell some syrup too".
The last mole pops up and says "I don't know guys all I smell is some molasses"

I smell maple syrup!

A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little mole hole. One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says, "Yum! I smell maple syrup!"

The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says "Yum! I smell honey!"

The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can't because the bigger moles are in the way. So he says, "Geez, all I can smell is . . . . .









molasses."

There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole.

There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses." -

Some campers wake up in the morning and start making breakfast...

Nearby is a family of moles living in their burrow underground. Papa mole wakes up and crawls up to the hole and says, "It smells delicious up here! I can smell sausage and eggs and is that some ham frying too?" So mama mole climbs up and she's greeted with the sweet smells of breakfast. "I smell fresh toast and flap jacks and maybe a hint of cinnamon!" Baby mole tries to enjoy the smells but can't get past mama and papa through the hole and says, "All I can smell is molasses."

A mommy mole, daddy mole, and baby mole are together in their burrow

Mommy mole sticks her head out and sniffs the air. She asks, "What's that smell? Is it brown sugar?"

Daddy mole sticks his head out to sniff around, "No I don't think so. Smells like vanilla to me."

The baby mole still in the burrow says "I don't know what you guys are talking about. All I can smell is molasses!"

Holy Moly! - What's that smell!?

A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all lived in a little mole hole. One day the papa mole stuck his head out of the hole, sniffed the air and said: "Yum! I smell maple syrup!"

The mama mole stuck her head out of the hole, sniffed the air and said” "Yum! I smell honey!"

The baby mole tried to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but couldn’t because of the bigger moles were in the way so he said: "Geez, all I can smell is..."

Are you sure you're ready?

You may never forgive me for this one...

*MOLASSES*

moles

Mama mole, papa mole, and baby mole all lived in a hole. One day, mama mole stuck her head out and sniffed the air.

"That's weird, I smell grape jelly."

Papa mole squeezes up beside her, sniffs around, and says, "That's funny, because i smell strawberry jam."

Baby mole wanted to sniff the air too, but was stuck behind mama and papa mole, so he said "That's strange, all I smell is molasses!"

A man walked into a ladies department

A man walked in to a ladies department walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."

"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" Inquires the man, "There is more than one type?"

"Look around", said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, colour and material.

"Actually, even with all of these variety, there are really only three types of bras," replied the sales clerk. Confused, the man asked what the types were.

The saleslady replied, "The catholic type, the Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?"

Still confused the man asked, "What is the difference between them?"

The lady responded, "It's all really quite simple. The catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills."

The Mole Family

A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little mole hole.

One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says,"Yum! I smell maple syrup!"

The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says "Yum! I smell honey!"

The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can't because the bigger moles are in the way so he says, "Geez, all I can smell is MOLASSES!"

There was a family of moles underground.

They were just relaxing down there when the father mole pokes his head out the hole and says “wow, I smell sugar”. The mother mole is interested so she pokes her head out the hole and exclaims” wow I smell glucose!” Then the mother mole calls her son over and he says “ holy cow I smell fructose!” The sister mole wants to catch a whiff of the smell and climbs to the hole. Sadly the hole is clogged by her family and she said “ all I smell is molasses”

There once was a family of moles in their mole hole when one smelled something sweet...

The father mole stuck his head out of the mole hole and said "is that honey?" So the mother mole squeezed through the hole next to the father and smelled "that may be maple syrup! It smells so wonderful!" The baby mole, wanting to see what all the commotion was about, frustratingly couldn't fit between the father and mother mole. So he wailed " All I smell is molasses!"

Three moles smell something.

Papa mole first pokes his head out of the hole and sniffs. He then says "I smell some good pancakes and syrup." Next mama mole pokes her head out of the hole and says "all I smell is fruits and honey." Then baby mole tries to poke his head out of the hole and says " I can't smell anything except molasses."

A man found a mole on his arm one day.

He'd never seen it before, but he wasn't the most attentive person, so he let it alone. A week passed. Eventually, that mole began to grow, and seemed to bleed into the skin around it. The man asked his wife about it, and she said he should probably get it checked out, but he ignored the advice, assuming it was just a cyst. Another week passes, and it starts to hurt every time he flexed his elbow. Finally, he decided to get it checked out.

The doctor shook his head empathetically as he told them the bad news. It was malignant melinoma - skin cancer.

In less than a month, the man had been reduced to a shell of his former self. His teenage son was hit hard by the news and his grades had begun to slip. They hadn't caught it in time, and it was fatal.

Eventually, as his strength began to fade, he called his family to his bedside.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't listen to you, honey. I thought I would know whether it was cancer."

He beckoned for his son to lean in, which he did, tearfully.

"I guess I don't have a good sense of tumour."

**DAD TO THE END**

(edit: typo. dad-school doesn't teach grammar)

A Family of Moles

There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."

Three moles are in a hole,

when one of them smells something.

The mole sticks his head up out of the hole and says,
"I smell pancakes!"

A second mole hears him and sticks his head out of the same hole and says,
"I smell pancakes too!"

The third mole scurries to investigate, but is stuck behind the other moles already in the entrance.
"All I smell is molasses!"

There are three moles at the bottom of their mole hole

The first mole, daddy mole, wakes up, climbs to the top, sticks his nose out and says, "Mmmmm...I smell bacon!"
Mommy mole wakes up. She climbs to the top, sticks her nose out and says, "Mmmmm....I smell pancakes!"
Baby mole wakes up. He climbs up, but gets stuck behind his mom and dad. He takes a big whiff and says, "All I can smell is molasses!"

Mole joke

One day the dad mole pops his head out of the mole hole and goes: "I smell pancakes"
Then the mom mole squeezes her head out of the hole and says: " I smell pancakes and syrup"
Then the baby mole tries to squeeze his head up by gets stuck and says: "all I smell are moleasses"

Mole joke in honor of Mole Day!

A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little mole hole.

One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says, "Yum! I smell maple syrup!"

The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says, "Yum! I smell honey!"

The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can't because the bigger moles are in the way and he says, "Geez, all I can smell is molasses!"

There Once Lived A Family of Moles on a Hill.

On morning Papa Mole woke up and walked to the entrance of the burrow. He was greeted with the most beautiful morning he had ever seen. The sunrise shone brightly and scents of spring wafted through the air.

"This is amazing!" Papa exclaimed "Ma! Come and see this! The morning's beautiful and I smell... I think I smell pancakes! With syrup and blueberry!

So Ma Mole comes out into the doorway and says, "You're right! I can smell... Eggs! Eggs and Bacon with crispy toast! Junior, you must smell this!"

So Junior gets up and tries to squeeze between the two big moles. He tries and tries, but finds himself wedged between their backsides.

"Junior!" Ma says, "What do you smell?"

"I don't know" he replies, "All I can smell is molasses!"

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