Hillary Jokes

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Funniest Hillary Jokes

Did you hear that NYC paid Hillary Clinton $2,000,000 as a consultant for New Years Eve? They wanted an expert on dropping the ball at the last second.

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Funny Hillary Jokes
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Your parents in 1996: Don't trust ANYONE on the Internet. Your parents in 2017: Freedom Eagle dot Facebook says Hillary invented AIDS.

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Donald Trump said if I voted for Hillary Clinton I'd have a President constantly under Federal investigation. I did and we do.

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Your parents in 1996: "Don't trust ANYBODY on the internet!" Your parents today: "Freedom Eagle dot facebook says Hillary invented AIDS."

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Apparently Monica Lewinsky won't be voting for Hillary Clinton this election She says the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth

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If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? America.

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So the American people's choices for President will apparently be either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton. That is the joke. There's no punchline here.

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There is still hope for for Hillary Clinton Nelson Mandela became President after 27 years in prison.

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are in a plane crash. Who survives? America.

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If Hillary Clinton won she would’ve been the first F president. I didn’t say female because someone deleted the emale.

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If Trump and Hillary are both drowning and you could only save one... What type of sandwich would you make?

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If Hillary Clinton is elected as our first female President it's really going to redefine a few things for me.... ....Like the words President Bush.

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Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump? Because orange is the new black.

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Now I'm not saying I'm a good businessman But I spent $534 million less than Hillary Clinton to not become President.

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What's Hillary Clinton's favorite Christmas carol? Depends, what is yours?

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Why does Hillary Clinton have two Ls in her first name? 1 for 2008, 1 for 2016

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I really think Hillary Clinton will be the first f president Oops. I meant female but the emale got deleted

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What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and an acronym? An acronym stands for something

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How many Hillary Clinton supporters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They prefer to be left in the dark.

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If Hillary wins, I'm moving to... Benghazi. At least I know there, she'll leave me alone

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Hillary Clinton will potentially be the first f***** president. I wrote female, but apparently someone deleted the email

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Donald Trump, Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton are in a boat, and the boat sinks. Who is saved? The United States of America.

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To Hillary supporters, don't give up hope! Nelson Mandela served 27 years in prison before becoming President.

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This speech will be very hard for Hillary Clinton... She isn't getting paid for it

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Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush jump of a bridge. They do a race who hits the ground first. Who wins? Society

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Monica Lewinsky has released the following statement on Hillary Clinton's run for the American Presidency: "I will not vote for Hillary Clinton. The last Clinton Presidency left a very bad taste in my mouth."

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What does Hillary Clinton say when she's unhappy at a restaurant? Can I have a different server?

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What did Hillary Clinton do when her email was hacked? She asked Donald Trump to build a firewall.

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Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump walk into a bar. They ask the bartender, "What have you got?"

The bartender points to two taps.

They say, "What? That's it?! We don't like either of those choices!"

The bartender says, "Now you know how I feel."

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Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump walk into a debate... America says, "What is this, a joke?"

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They should send Hillary Clinton to the U.S. Mexico border Since no one can get over her...

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If hillary nukes Russia I can see the headlines now "Everyone in Moscow commits suicide"

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Bernie Sanders is such a socialist... ...he gave Hillary Clinton half the votes in Iowa.

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Monica Lewinski Will Not Vote for Hillary Clinton The last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

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Hillary Clinton could've been the first f president. Sorry, I meant to write female but the emale got deleted.

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All Trump has to say to beat Hillary in the debates "I know Hillary can be bought. I have the receipts."

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The year is 2016. Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are both travelling in the same plane. Plane comes crashing down. Who survives? America.

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Why do people like Hillary Clinton? When she can't even stand herself?

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If Hillary Clinton was elected, she would have been the first f president. I would say female, but the emale got deleted.

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What do Hillary Clinton and the World Trade Center have in common? Both collapsed on 9/11 after becoming overheated.

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New Hillary Jokes

Supreme Court Hillary Clinton rang Donald Trump and said that a female Supreme Court Justice has just died and I would like to replace her,Trump replied that’s alright by me but I will have to ring the Funeral Home to make the arrangements

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What does Hillary Clinton day when she calls the suicide hotline? “Hello, I’d like to place an order”

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Hillary gave Jeffrey Epstein a high five but she still left him hanging

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Boris Johnson, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden are in a plane crash. Who survives? The world.

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Keep perspective, COVID-19 has a lower fatality rate than being willing to testify against Hillary

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Michael Bloomberg will not pick Hillary Clinton as his VP He's not ready to commit suicide

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What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and Adolf Hitler? Hitler won an election.

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2/3 of all impeached presidents were done so for the same reason for embarrassing Hillary Clinton

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Instead of ‘Clue’, we should have a game called ‘Epstein’ where the objective is to find out who the murderer is. Players include Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton and Prince Edwards!

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Santa goes down the chimney and sees Jennifer Flowers, Monika Lewinsky and Hillary Clinton in the living room. Santa says Ho, Ho, B**ch!

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How do you piss off 100s of millions of people at the same time? Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton were both upstanding candidates fully deserving of the US presidency.

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Guess What Happened To Hillary Clintons Emails! \[Removed\]

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[Politics] Joke Advice: Don’t make Hillary Clinton jokes in this subreddit. They’re not funny.

Rather, they’re hillary-ious.

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Poem of the Right Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

Sure Trump's bad,

But Hillary is too.

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Hillary Clinton should’ve been the first F president. Sorry, I meant female, but the emale got deleted.

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How many Russians does it take to make Hillary lose an election? None.

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How many Russians does it take to make Hillary Clinton lose an election? None

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Hillary Clinton should have been the first F president. Sorry, I meant female, but the emale got deleted.

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I thought up a good band name last night. Hillary and the Emails. Would be HYUUUGE in 48% of the US.

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Hillary Clinton's Emails \[deleted\]

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What is Hillary Clinton's least favorite vegetable? Leaks

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Why did Bill Clinton have an affair with Monica? Because Hillary only blows elections.

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are on the same plane. The plane crashes, who survives? America.

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are sitting in a boat. The boat sinks. Who survives? America.

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What's Hillary Clinton's favorite drink? Wine.

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My sister thought of this one during the twenty sixteen election. Hillary and Trump are stuck on a boat in the middle of the ocean. Who wins? America.

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Why didn't Monica Lewinsky vote for Hillary Clinton? The last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

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Revamped Reagan/Churchill-Gorbachev marathon joke. Trump, Hillary, and Putin ran a marathon.
Trump wins, Putin finished last.

US newspapers: Hillary finished second.

Russian newspapers: Putin won.

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What is Hillary Clinton's Favorite Brand of Pizza? Little Seizures!!!

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They should build the wall out of Hillary People clearly can't get over her.

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Instead of Hillary Clinton, maybe Stormy Daniels should have run against Trump? I'm pretty sure she would've spanked him.

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I don't think Putin won a fair election Hillary won the popular vote

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Do you know the difference between Vladimir Putin and Hillary Clinton? Vladimir Putin can win an election rigged in his favor

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Hillary Clinton found out that Bill was getting it on with Monica Lewinsky. She shrugged her shoulders and said "Better her than me."

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In 2016, Obama left Trump and Hillary as the 2 choices for president. Thanks, Obama.

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What's Hillary Clinton's campaign slogan for the next election? Hindsight 2020

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Why will Congress never impeach Hillary Clinton? Because she didn't win the election.

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What does Hillary Clinton do with her old, out-of-style clothes? She wears them.

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How did Hillary Clinton beat Bernie? The same way Monica beat Bill... under the table

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I'm going to the Halloween party at my office today as President Hillary Clinton I'm not going to show up.

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Apparently Monica Lewinsky didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

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Trump is going to reveal the classified JFK assassination details Turns out it was Hillary Clinton.

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Hillary was asked if Weinstein's behavior compared to that of her husband's. She said "Close, but no cigar."

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Nobody's happier about hurricane Irma than Hillary Clinton and Al Gore It's the only reason their books are flying off the shelves in Florida.

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Hillary Clinton is scheduled for a book signing in Brookfield, CT at Costco Strange that she chose Costco, because Bill prefers BJ's

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I once went to dinner with Hillary Clinton, but the waiter never came to our table. I guess it was a secret server.

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Hillary Clinton would've been the first F president I would've said female, but she deleted the email.

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Hillary Clinton's New Book Is Already A Bestseller, And It Isn't Even Out Yet Kinda like how she had won all those primaries before anyone got to cast a vote!

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It was recently discovered that Hillary approached President Trump to ask if she could replace Justice Scalia after his death. Trump replied, "That's perfectly fine with me so long as the undertaker is okay with it."

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why are the new york jets like Hillary Clinton? both have Bills to push around

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Why is Hillary just an "f"? Because she deleted the "emale"

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Trump should build a wall with Hillary Clinton's emails. Seems like the only thing people can't get over.

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Everyone knows Hillary took silverware, but what did Bill Clinton get from the Oval Office? One night stand.

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If Hillary won the election she would have become the first F president. I said F because someone deleted the emale.

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What does Hillary Clinton and La La Land have in common? They both thought they were going to win.

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Miss Columbia, Hillary Clinton, and La La Land won Miss Universe, the U.S. Presidency, and Best Picture. In theory.

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Did you hear Atlanta is getting a new mascot? Hillary Clinton

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What does Hillary and the falcons have in common? They both blew it in the last quarter.

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Hillary Clinton is getting her own video game. Left 4 Dead: Benghazi

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What does Hillary do when she loses a game of CS:GO? She blames the Russians.

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A blonde joke you probably haven't heard for a while ... Hillary Clinton

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