Hillary Jokes


Funniest Hillary Jokes

Did you hear that NYC paid Hillary Clinton $2,000,000 as a consultant for New Years Eve? They wanted an expert on dropping the ball at the last second.

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Funny Hillary Jokes
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Your parents in 1996: Don't trust ANYONE on the Internet. Your parents in 2017: Freedom Eagle dot Facebook says Hillary invented AIDS.

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They should build the wall with Hillary's emails Because nobody can get over them.

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Donald Trump said if I voted for Hillary Clinton I'd have a President constantly under Federal investigation. I did and we do.

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Your parents in 1996: "Don't trust ANYBODY on the internet!" Your parents today: "Freedom Eagle dot facebook says Hillary invented AIDS."

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Apparently Monica Lewinsky won't be voting for Hillary Clinton this election She says the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth

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If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? America.

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So the American people's choices for President will apparently be either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton. That is the joke. There's no punchline here.

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There is still hope for for Hillary Clinton Nelson Mandela became President after 27 years in prison.

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are in a plane crash. Who survives? America.

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If Hillary Clinton won she would’ve been the first F president. I didn’t say female because someone deleted the emale.

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If Trump and Hillary are both drowning and you could only save one... What type of sandwich would you make?

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Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump? Because orange is the new black.

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Now I'm not saying I'm a good businessman But I spent $534 million less than Hillary Clinton to not become President.

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What's Hillary Clinton's favorite Christmas carol? Depends, what is yours?

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Why does Hillary Clinton have two Ls in her first name? 1 for 2008, 1 for 2016

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I really think Hillary Clinton will be the first f president Oops. I meant female but the emale got deleted

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What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and an acronym? An acronym stands for something

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How many Hillary Clinton supporters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They prefer to be left in the dark.

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Trump should build that wall out of Hillary's emails since it seems no one can get over them.

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If Hillary wins, I'm moving to... Benghazi. At least I know there, she'll leave me alone

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Hillary Clinton will potentially be the first f***** president. I wrote female, but apparently someone deleted the email

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To Hillary supporters, don't give up hope! Nelson Mandela served 27 years in prison before becoming President.

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This speech will be very hard for Hillary Clinton... She isn't getting paid for it

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Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush jump of a bridge. They do a race who hits the ground first. Who wins? Society

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Monica Lewinsky has released the following statement on Hillary Clinton's run for the American Presidency: "I will not vote for Hillary Clinton. The last Clinton Presidency left a very bad taste in my mouth."

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What's Hillary's favorite pizza place? Little Seizures

Edit: credit to Joe Biggs @rambobiggs

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What does Hillary Clinton say when she's unhappy at a restaurant? Can I have a different server?

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What did Hillary Clinton do when her email was hacked? She asked Donald Trump to build a firewall.

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The only similarity between Bernie Sanders's speeches and Hillary's speeches is ......both inspire you to vote against Hillary.

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If Hillary Clinton was elected, she would have been the first f president. I would say female, but the emale got deleted.

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There's an email going around that claims to include a nude photo of Hillary Clinton Don't open it. It contains a nude photo of Hillary Clinton.

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If Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton gets in a car crash who will survive? America.

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I was told, if I voted for Hillary, they predicted Obamacare would continue and we'd go to war with Syria... I did, and the predictions came true!

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Hillary and Trump crash in a plane, who survives? The United States

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Hillary wouldve made girls believe they can be President Trump made EVERYONE believe they can be President.

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Trump should build a wall with Hillary Clinton's emails. Seems like the only thing people can't get over.

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If Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton were in a car accident, who would survive? America.

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Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like... Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.

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New Hillary Jokes

Hillary Clinton should’ve been the first F president. Sorry, I meant female, but the emale got deleted.

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Hillary Clinton should have been the first F president. Sorry, I meant female, but the emale got deleted.

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I thought up a good band name last night. Hillary and the Emails. Would be HYUUUGE in 48% of the US.

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Despite the fact she is a Democrat, Monica Lewinsky decided to vote for Trump in the last election... ....she said to her friend, "I'd like to vote for Hillary, but the last Clinton left a very foul taste in my mouth."

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are sitting in a boat. The boat sinks. Who survives? America.

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In 2016, Obama left Trump and Hillary as the 2 choices for president. Thanks, Obama.

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I'm going to the Halloween party at my office today as President Hillary Clinton I'm not going to show up.

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Apparently Monica Lewinsky didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

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Hillary was asked if Weinstein's behavior compared to that of her husband's. She said "Close, but no cigar."

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Nobody's happier about hurricane Irma than Hillary Clinton and Al Gore It's the only reason their books are flying off the shelves in Florida.

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Hillary Clinton would've been the first F president I would've said female, but she deleted the email.

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Hillary Clinton's New Book Is Already A Bestseller, And It Isn't Even Out Yet Kinda like how she had won all those primaries before anyone got to cast a vote!

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It was recently discovered that Hillary approached President Trump to ask if she could replace Justice Scalia after his death. Trump replied, "That's perfectly fine with me so long as the undertaker is okay with it."

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Why is Hillary just an "f"? Because she deleted the "emale"

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Trump and Hillary walk into a bar... It'd been set pretty low. (See: /r/jokes since the election ended.)

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If Hillary won the election she would have become the first F president. I said F because someone deleted the emale.

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What does Hillary Clinton and La La Land have in common? They both thought they were going to win.

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Miss Columbia, Hillary Clinton, and La La Land won Miss Universe, the U.S. Presidency, and Best Picture. In theory.

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What does Hillary and the falcons have in common? They both blew it in the last quarter.

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What does Hillary do when she loses a game of CS:GO? She blames the Russians.

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What two words will, when heard, get any Trump supporter to rant at length about Hillary Clinton? "Donald" and "Trump".

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Civil war To all of the Hillary supporters who are unhappy with the election and would like to start a civil war, just remember, you are on the side that doesn't want any guns.

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Obama used the race card. Hillary used the woman card. America used the Trump card.

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How much is Hillary Clinton's life insurance? Just one bill.

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What did Hillary say when she bumped into Barack Obama at the White House? Pardon me.

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If a Republican candidate who is hated by the GOP establishment and loathed by half the country just won the election... ...maybe Hillary should consider running as a Republican!

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Everybody knows about Trumps reality show, "the Apprentice." But, did you know about Hillary's show? "the Biggest Loser."

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News: Hillary Clinton concedes her defeat to Donald Trump in a private phone call. Safe to say she's learned her lesson with emails!

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I emailed Hillary that to secure a win, she had to pick Bernie as VP. I guess she deleted it.

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And the winner of the 2016 presidential election is Hillary! - Steve Harvey

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Trump and Hillary are in a plane crash. Who survives? America

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If hillary wins, trump supporters can at least take solice in 1 fact. Bill clinton is going to be the first lady.

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I like my women like Hillary Nasty and exposed !

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Trump and Hillary fall into the water. Who will be rescued? America.

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What does Hillary Clinton's presidency and Bill Clinton's presidency have in common? They were both ruined by weiners.

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What does Bill Clinton's presidency and Hillary Clinton's future presidency have in common? Weiners got them both in trouble but in the end nobody really cared.

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If this Hillary case blows up... It will be the second time a weiner has ruined the presidency for a Clinton

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Why were Huma Abedin's darkest fears about seduction by Bill Clinton unfounded? Because ultimately it was Hillary who ended up showing her the Huma door.

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Just played the new Hillary Presidency Simulator I don't know why it's called Fallout 4 though.

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Trump and Hillary fall into an ocean. Who will be saved? America.

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Why are the silent majority actually Hillary supporters? Because they're dead.

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Hillary went for dinner with Barack Obama the other day I heard he was very polite, but hillary brought her own private server.

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What does Trump and Hillary have in common? A vote they're never gonna get from me.

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Hillary could be the first F----- president. I would have said female, but someone deleted the emale.

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Hillary Clinton has been frequenting a new restaurant, reports say. I guess the main appeal of it is her own private server.

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are on a frozen lake. They weren't talking so I decided to go over and break the ice.

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Hillary Clinton doesn't suck! Just ask Bill

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You're in the middle of the ocean and you see Trump and Hillary drowning but you only have room in your boat to save one. Who do you save? America. Keep right on going and don't stop.

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Monica Lewinsky says she WILL endorse Hillary for president... ..says Hillary Clinton "doesn't suck."

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Monica Lewinsky says she won't endorse Hillary for president... "The last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in my mouth"

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Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump Are Sinking On A Cruise Ship, Who Survives? America

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Why did the /r/jokes subscriber cross the road? To shitpost "DAE hate Trump and Hillary?"

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton run for president. Who loses? America.

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are running for Presidency. Who will win? Certainly not the people.

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Why did Bill Clinton say NO to testosterone meds? He was afraid of ending up like Hillary.

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The US can't rely on Hillary Clinton to create jobs The last meaningful job Hillary had was outsourced to Monica Lewinsky...

...and Monica blew it!

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What bill is supported by Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Ted Cruz, and Bernie Sanders? The dollar bill

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Monica Lewinsky will not be voting for Hillary.. The last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

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With the election coming close, I trust Bill Clinton the most... He always picked someone other than Hillary, so I will too.

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I wonder what Hillary Clinton will do after she dies.... Most likely she'll lie still

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