Hillary Jokes

Contents

Funniest Hillary Jokes

Did you hear that NYC paid Hillary Clinton $2,000,000 as a consultant for New Years Eve? They wanted an expert on dropping the ball at the last second.

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Funny Hillary Jokes
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Your parents in 1996: Don't trust ANYONE on the Internet. Your parents in 2017: Freedom Eagle dot Facebook says Hillary invented AIDS.

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They should build the wall with Hillary's emails Because nobody can get over them.

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Donald Trump said if I voted for Hillary Clinton I'd have a President constantly under Federal investigation. I did and we do.

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Your parents in 1996: "Don't trust ANYBODY on the internet!" Your parents today: "Freedom Eagle dot facebook says Hillary invented AIDS."

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Apparently Monica Lewinsky won't be voting for Hillary Clinton this election She says the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth

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If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? America.

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So the American people's choices for President will apparently be either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton. That is the joke. There's no punchline here.

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There is still hope for for Hillary Clinton Nelson Mandela became President after 27 years in prison.

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are in a plane crash. Who survives? America.

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If Hillary Clinton won she would’ve been the first F president. I didn’t say female because someone deleted the emale.

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If Trump and Hillary are both drowning and you could only save one... What type of sandwich would you make?

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Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump? Because orange is the new black.

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Now I'm not saying I'm a good businessman But I spent $534 million less than Hillary Clinton to not become President.

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What's Hillary Clinton's favorite Christmas carol? Depends, what is yours?

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Why does Hillary Clinton have two Ls in her first name? 1 for 2008, 1 for 2016

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I really think Hillary Clinton will be the first f president Oops. I meant female but the emale got deleted

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What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and an acronym? An acronym stands for something

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How many Hillary Clinton supporters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They prefer to be left in the dark.

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Trump should build that wall out of Hillary's emails since it seems no one can get over them.

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If Hillary wins, I'm moving to... Benghazi. At least I know there, she'll leave me alone

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Hillary Clinton will potentially be the first f***** president. I wrote female, but apparently someone deleted the email

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To Hillary supporters, don't give up hope! Nelson Mandela served 27 years in prison before becoming President.

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This speech will be very hard for Hillary Clinton... She isn't getting paid for it

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Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush jump of a bridge. They do a race who hits the ground first. Who wins? Society

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Monica Lewinsky has released the following statement on Hillary Clinton's run for the American Presidency: "I will not vote for Hillary Clinton. The last Clinton Presidency left a very bad taste in my mouth."

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What's Hillary's favorite pizza place? Little Seizures


Edit: credit to Joe Biggs @rambobiggs

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What does Hillary Clinton say when she's unhappy at a restaurant? Can I have a different server?

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What did Hillary Clinton do when her email was hacked? She asked Donald Trump to build a firewall.

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The only similarity between Bernie Sanders's speeches and Hillary's speeches is ......both inspire you to vote against Hillary.

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[OC] What is Hillary Clinton's favorite video game? Super-Pac man.

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Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump get into a car accident. Who survives? America

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Trump should build a wall with Hillary Clinton's emails. Seems like the only thing people can't get over.

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What does Hillary Clinton use to drown the noise of Black Lives Matter protesters? White noise

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Obama used the race card. Hillary used the woman card. America used the Trump card.

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Monica Lewinsky isn't voting for Hillary. The last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

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Last year Hillary got a concussion. Obama recently bumped into Clinton and asked "Bill, how is Hillary's head?" "Not as good as Monica"

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If a Republican candidate who is hated by the GOP establishment and loathed by half the country just won the election... ...maybe Hillary should consider running as a Republican!

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Monica Lewinsky says she won't endorse Hillary for president... "The last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in my mouth"

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New Hillary Jokes

Guess What Happened To Hillary Clintons Emails! \[Removed\]

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Hillary Clinton should’ve been the first F president. Sorry, I meant female, but the emale got deleted.

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Hillary Clinton should have been the first F president. Sorry, I meant female, but the emale got deleted.

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I thought up a good band name last night. Hillary and the Emails. Would be HYUUUGE in 48% of the US.

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An attendant to President Trump comes in and tells him "Sir, your commission has reported that three Brazilian illegals voted for Hillary." And so he yells "I knew it! Now how many is a 'brazilian'?"

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Why did Bill Clinton have an affair with Monica? Because Hillary only blows elections.

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are on the same plane. The plane crashes, who survives? America.

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My sister thought of this one during the twenty sixteen election. Hillary and Trump are stuck on a boat in the middle of the ocean. Who wins? America.

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I don't think Putin won a fair election Hillary won the popular vote

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In 2016, Obama left Trump and Hillary as the 2 choices for president. Thanks, Obama.

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I'm going to the Halloween party at my office today as President Hillary Clinton I'm not going to show up.

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Hillary Clinton is scheduled for a book signing in Brookfield, CT at Costco Strange that she chose Costco, because Bill prefers BJ's

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Why is Hillary just an "f"? Because she deleted the "emale"

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If Hillary won the election she would have become the first F president. I said F because someone deleted the emale.

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Miss Columbia, Hillary Clinton, and La La Land won Miss Universe, the U.S. Presidency, and Best Picture. In theory.

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What does Hillary and the falcons have in common? They both blew it in the last quarter.

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Hillary Clinton is getting her own video game. Left 4 Dead: Benghazi

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During the election, Bernie teamed with Hillary to try and win over the millennials Funny, considering they're age combined is a millennial itself

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Russia admitted today to hacking the DNC in an attempt to get Donald Trump elected They went on to say that they decided not to take any action, however, once they saw Hillary Clinton's campaign strategy.

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Hillary was running as Democrat and her campaign really blue over.

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Hillary Lost Because She Sounded Like A Greek Instrument Yeah, she definitely sounded like a lyre.

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What did Hillary say when she bumped into Barack Obama at the White House? Pardon me.

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Trump and Hillary are in a plane crash. Who survives? America

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If hillary wins, trump supporters can at least take solice in 1 fact. Bill clinton is going to be the first lady.

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I like my women like Hillary Nasty and exposed !

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Trump and Hillary fall into the water. Who will be rescued? America.

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Hillary Clinton is a strong woman who doesn't need Bill. Besides, the FBI has been fingering her for a while now.

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What does Bill Clinton's presidency and Hillary Clinton's future presidency have in common? Weiners got them both in trouble but in the end nobody really cared.

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Why were Huma Abedin's darkest fears about seduction by Bill Clinton unfounded? Because ultimately it was Hillary who ended up showing her the Huma door.

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Just played the new Hillary Presidency Simulator I don't know why it's called Fallout 4 though.

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Trump and Hillary fall into an ocean. Who will be saved? America.

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What does Hillary Clinton do when she sees a sniper in Bosnia? Ducks on the ground

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Hillary Clinton should partner with Microsoft.. Then I wouldn't need to worry about getting any spam email

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Who is the only person to get 15 Million dollars from a Nigerian prince? Hillary Clinton.

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are in a car. The car crashes. Who survived? *America.*

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Why did the bandit from Burma vote for Trump and Hillary to be the primary candidates? Because, Master Wayne, some men just want to watch the world burn.

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Breaking - Trump emailed Hillary Clinton his tax returns She just accidentally deleted them.

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Hillary Clinton's recent case of pneumonia just goes to show There's only one candidate who can dodge a draft.

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What do Trump and lip stick have in common? Both make Hillary Clinton more attractive.

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Hillary demands that Trump release his tax returns Trump says - I'll email them to you.

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If Hillary and Trump were on a boat and it sank, who would survive? America

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Did you read the joke Hillary emailed to Obama? [deleted]

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I told my family I'm voting for Hillary, she can't blow it! If she did Monica wouldn't have to.

Edit: Guess I should modify this to make fun of trump if I want karma.

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Hillary went for dinner with Barack Obama the other day I heard he was very polite, but hillary brought her own private server.

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What does Trump and Hillary have in common? A vote they're never gonna get from me.

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What are Hillary's convictions? The FBI hasn't announced her indictment yet, but hopefully it will lead to at least one

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You're in the middle of the ocean and you see Trump and Hillary drowning but you only have room in your boat to save one. Who do you save? America. Keep right on going and don't stop.

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Bernie supporters are dumber than Hillary supporters. Proof? Hillary supporters spam social media for cash, while Bernie supporters do it for free.

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Monica Lewinsky says she WILL endorse Hillary for president... ..says Hillary Clinton "doesn't suck."

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If Hillary brought a carpet bag to New York, what did Bill bring? Hard wood.

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton get in a car wreck, who survives? America.

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What do you call Trump and Hillary buried up to their necks in sand? Progress

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Why won't Monica Lewinsky be voting for Hillary? Because the last Clinton presidency left a very bad taste in her mouth.

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton run for president. Who loses? America.

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are running for Presidency. Who will win? Certainly not the people.

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I'd rather vote for Monica Lewinsky than Hillary Clinton... ...because at least a little bit of Bill rubbed off on Monica!

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Could someone help me decide what's more two faced... Hillary Clinton or the coin

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What bill is supported by Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Ted Cruz, and Bernie Sanders? The dollar bill

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With the election coming close, I trust Bill Clinton the most... He always picked someone other than Hillary, so I will too.

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George HW Bush fell and broke his neck today It's in the news. Today George HW Bush fell and broke his neck at home in Maine. Fox news is blaming it on Hillary. Donald Trump said his Mexican Maid pushed him down the stairs.

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