What's the difference between a guy with an Arts Major, and a guy with a Philosophy Major? One will ask WHY you want fries with that!
What's the difference between an art major and a philosophy major? The philosophy major will ask you WHY you want fries with that.
My next job, I want to be the security guard at the philosophy building of a university... I will spend my days asking philosophy students “Who are you, and why are you here?”
Hear about the girl who banged her philosophy professor for a better grade? He was deep in thot.
What's the difference between a philosophy major and a picnic table? A picnic table can support a family.
I'm going to major in Philosophy when I go to college... ...so one day I can ask '*Why* do you want fries with that?'
What did the Philosophy Ph.D say to the fat black woman? Welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order?
One More For All The Philosophy Majors Out There
The Physics major asks: How does it work?
The Engineering major asks: How do you build it?
The Accounting major asks: How much will it cost?
The Philosophy major asks: Do you want fries with that?
I always thought I would discover my inner self through Eastern philosophy Not through a piece of single-ply toilet paper.
What's the difference between a philosophy degree and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.
What's the difference between an art major and a philosophy major? The philosophy major will ask *why* you want fries with your Big Mac.
After watching me sign up for a Greek philosophy course, my dad said, “Did you know Aristotle said that we are what we repeatedly do?” “Therefore, I’m your mother.”
Greece announced they are going to default on their nearly 1.8 billion dollar loan Who would’ve thought the country that invented the philosophy major would be broke?
A short philosophy joke... René Descartes is walking around a party when somebody asks him if he’d like something to drink. Descartes answers, “I think not” and promptly vanishes.
What's the difference between a philosophy degree and a large pizza? The pizza can feed a family.
"Hey man, I haven't seen you since college!"
"Hey man, I haven't seen you since college! How are you?"
"I'm doing well, I got that philosophy degree."
"Thanks. Hey, do you want fries with that?
Why is a university Philosophy Department always cheaper to fund than the Math Department?
The math department needs paper, pencils, and a wastebasket.
The philosophy department only needs paper and pencils.
What’s the difference between philosophy and eyeballing a picture of a rock? One’s ideology, the other’s eyed-geology
A friend of mine gave up his addiction to hiring escorts and is now getting a philosophy degree. I’m glad he put Descartes before the whores.
Did you hear the one about the philosophy major that failed out of school? Apparently he put the whores before Descartes
What's the difference between a philosophy major and an arts major? A philosophy major asks: "Why do you want fries with that?"
How do you use a philosophy degree in a professional context? *Why* would you like fries with that?
In a philosophy class...
Professor: Sometimes an idiot's question is too hard for even 10 geniuses to answer.
One student pipes up: No wonder I fail my tests.
I told my job interview that I studied philosophy at school.
He said, "Was that useful?"
I said, "I don't know. Was it?"
I saw my sister sobbing in her room, worried that her Philosophy degree might be worthless in today’s job market. I said, “Are you having an existential cry, sis?”
I had an arguement with a philosophy major I told him NO, I don't want avocado on my footlong!
For all of those Philosophy Majors out there
If an argument concludes a tree fall without human interaction in a forest for a stump to be made, and there are no lumberjack's in the forest to hear it, does it make it sound?
Never date a philosophy major My last girlfriend was one and she spent most of her time trying to prove that I didn't exist
This one is for you philosophy nerds. What do you call it when a middle aged woman takes a break from reading Plato dialogues? Meno pause
Our philosophy professor told us that he’s not familiar with the concept of humor. Well, apparently he’s naught.
For my philosophy course, I had to prove that a circular argument is a logical fallacy.
It's because a circular argument is a logical fallacy.
Philosophy in a nutshell: A blind man saw an arm amputee pull the hair of a bald guy that was smelling a deaf man listening to a mute.
I had to drop out of Philosophy because of my constant soliciting of prostitutes. I put the whores before Descartes.
What is courage ?
A philosophy professor gives a final exam consisting entirely of a single question “What is courage ?”
Within a minute of the start of the test, one student answers “This is.” and hands in his paper.
He receives an A+.
The people that believe in infinite lives Have just taken the philosophy of eat, sleep and repeat way too seriously.
A dolphin graduated from college with a philosophy major. He thought, "what's my porpoise now?"
Ancient Greek philosophy joke It turns out that Diogenes did find one honest person, but this person told Diogenes "quit wasting your time and get a job." and Diogenes didn't want to hear the truth any more than anybody else does.
If a tree falls on a deserted island,
"Does it make a sound?" the teacher asked the class of philosophy for business majors. "Now, does anyone have an answer or possibly a question?"
"Who's funding this?" was the reply.
I skipped philosophy class to go see a prostitute. Descartes shouldn’t be in front of the whores.
A classic one told by my philosophy teacher today...
A man dies. He goes into heaven. Later, he sees his wife. He can't believe it and when she comes to greet him, he backs off, and explains:
"I promised we'd be together until death do us part".
Why did the Republican hate his logic course? Because Philosophy is considered a *liberal* art
What do you get when you cross ancient Chinese philosophy with modern American derivatives markets? Dao Jones.
What's the difference between someone with an arts degree and a philosophy degree ? The philosophy degree will ask why you want fries with that.
What’s the difference between an art student and a philosophy student? A philosophy student asks you why you want fries with that
My dad studied Philosophy in college, and he's a pastor I suppose that makes him a Philosorapture.
What was Hitler's philosophy on PR? Weimar your reputation when you know you're in the Reich!
Why should you never trust a one armed philosophy professor? He never mentions "on the other hand"
What is the philosophy that people have the right to do everything in their power to achieve the greatest amount of pleasure possible to them? Let me ask my girlfriend, she seems like the expert in this.
What's the difference between an art student and a philosophy student? A philosophy student asks you *why* you want fries with that
I was a bit of a nerd in high school. Instead of chasing girls I was studying philosophy My friends always said that I put Descartes before the whores.
Philosophy is a game with objectives but no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules but no objectives.
How do you get someone with a doctorate in philosophy to leave your house? Just pay for your pizza.