Native American Jokes

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Funniest Native American Jokes

So Land O’Lakes got rid of the Native American on their package... ...But kept the land. Sounds oddly familiar.

Funny Native American Jokes

Did you know “Vegetarian” is a Native American word? It means “Lousy Hunter”


I am Native American and this joke has been told to me a couple of times. Thought I’d share.

Why do Native Americans hate snow? Because it's white and settles on their land.

Why do native Americans hate April? Because April showers bring May flowers and Mayflowers bring white people

Why did the Native American sleep in the hotel lobby? He didn't have a reservation.

I was viewing a house being sold by a native american i asked him if it came with running water,

He said 'no, get your own wife'

I was buying a house from a Native American the other day I asked him if it came with running water,

He said 'get your own damn wife'

Native Americans are all pissed that we took their land when they were here first... ..but we made reservations.

Why do Native Americans hate snow? Because it's white and on their land.

Why don’t Native Americans like snow? Because it’s white and settles on their land.

I once went to a Native American restaurant but was turned away. They told me it was reservation only.

Why don't native Americans like snow? Because it's white and all over their land.

Why do Native Americans hate snow? Because it's white and it settles on their land.

Why does the Native American always get a table at the nicest restaurants? He has a reservation.

Since it's so close to Thanksgiving, remember this Give a man some corn, he eats for a day. Teach a man to grow corn, he kills you and steals your land!

Happy Thanksgiving from your friendly, neighborhood Native American!

Why are Native Americans the most successfull strippers? Because when they dance, they make it rain.

Why do Native Americans hate April? April showers bring may flowers. And may flowers bring white people

As soon as the native american saw snow, he frowned and said I don't like the snow. It's white and it's on my land.

Why didn't the native Americans go out to dinner? They lost their reservations.

A Native American tribe are looking for buffalo to hunt. As they travel along, one member puts his ear to the ground for a moment and then says: “Buffalo come.”

The chief asks “How can you tell?”

The man replies “Sticky ear.”

Why were Native Americans here first? They had reservations.

Why do Native Americans hate snow? It's white and it's all over their land.

Why don't Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore? April showers bring Mayflowers.

Why do native Americans hate the snow? Because it's white, and it's on their land.

Why do native Americans hate the snow? ...because it is white and settles all over their land.

Do you know why native Americans hate snow?..... Because it's white and on their land.

A buffalo hunter and a Native American guide One day when they were hunting the guide stopped, put his ear to the ground and listened, then said "Buffalo come"

The hunter asked "How can you tell"

The guide replied "Ear sticky"

Why are native americans the best strippers? Because when they dance they make it rain.

What does a Native American Biologist live in? ATP

Did you hear about that Native American who drank ten cups of tea one night? They found him dead the next day in his teepee

Did you hear about the Native American who drank 1000 glasses of tea? He drown in his tea pee.

Never be racist towards Native Americans. They will Sioux you.

Did you hear about the native American who tried to beat the world record for drinking the most tea? The next day he was found dead in his tea pee

Hear about the Native American who died from drinking too much tea before bed? He drowned in his teepee.

Why were Native Americans the first ones in America? Because they had reservations

Whats the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels is still killing Native Americans

Did you hear about the Native American who tried to break the world's record for drinking tea? They found him dead in his Tee Pee.

What month do Native Americans hate the most? April. April showering bring May flowers. Mayflowers bring the pilgrims.

An indian (native American) drank 50 cups of tea. Next day they found him dead in his tea pee.

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New Native American Jokes

The Lone Ranger and Tonto find themselves surrounded by hostile native Americans. The Lone Ranger turns to Tonto and says what are we going to do? Tonto looks at him and says, what do you mean we, pale face?

Why don't Native Americans like snow? Because it's white and on their land.

How did the Pioneers inadvertently infect Native Americans? In their COVID wagons.

Vegetarian An old Native American term meaning "lousy hunter".

Why do Native Americans hate rainy weather in April? Because April showers bring Mayflowers.

Why don't Native Americans do rain dances in April? Because April showers bring May flowers and May flowers bring white men.

Have you heard of the Native American who drank 40 gallons of tea? He was found dead in his teepee.

an old one but a good one. Why don’t native Americans like April?
Because April showers bring May flowers and Mayflowers bring Pilgrims and genocide.

What do you call a Native American ghost who plays accordian? Polkahauntus

My favorite native american restaurant is shutting down. They didn't get enough reservations.

Did you know that it's dangerous to drink a lot of tea? A Native American did this once and drowned in his Tea Pee.

Not my joke but thought it was funny.

Man walks in to a restaurant with his family. He goes to speak to the waiter. Man: Hello we have a reservation. Waiter: That's good for the native Americans.

Why do the Native Americans hate when white people ask to use their WiFi? They're taking all their LAN!

A cowboy enters an outhouse and hears a noise down the hole He looks down it and notices a Native American

He yells down “How long have you been down there!”

The Indian responds: “Many moons... many... many moons”

What do Native Americans call vegetarians? One who is bad at hunting

Have you heard the one about the shy Native American? He was quite reserved.

Have you heard about that new Native American rapper? He calls himself Li’l Bighorn.

What do you call a Native American who cooks? A Sioux Chef

A Native American Buys a bag of mulch The Home Depot employee asks "so what're you planning to do with the mulch?"

The Native American says "nothing, I'm just buying my land back one bag at a time."

Interviewer: "What is your spirit animal?" "My spirit animal is not having one because I'm not Native American and I haven't been on a spirit journey.
What you mean is 'what is your fursona?'."

What did the colonist say when the Native American wouldn’t let him use their land? *cough*

What type of cars do Missionaries think Native Americans drive? Convertibles

Did all Europeans give Native Americans smallpox on purpose? Or is that a blanket statement?

What did Michael Jackson say when he found out he had Native American DNA? Cherok-hee-hee!!

WHY do you NEVER see Native Americans at nice restaurants? White men took their reservations..

Do you know why native americans hate airports? They are full of landing strips.

People really don’t make too many Native American jokes anymore That’s probably because people don’t want to give up their reservation.

I hooked up with a very promiscuous native American. I think I now understand why they call him "fire snake"

I have a friend who's half black & half native American... His name is Sitting In Jail

Did you hear about the Native American who drank too much tea? He drowned in his tea pee

What do you call a Native American nymphomaniac? Spread Eagle

I explained to a girl in my class that I am Indian She responds by saying “wow I’ve never met a Native American before!”....

The Mormon Prophet has banned Tomb Raider games... ...apparently they have fake Native American history in them that doesn't revolve around Native Americans being a lost tribe of Israel.

People are saying that Disney’s Peter Pan is racist against Native Americans. How?

We all know about mohawks, but what was the most popular facial hair style for native Americans? A pachy beard

Why do Native Americans hate April showers? Because April showers bring Mayflowers and Mayflowers bring white people.

So I talked to a Native American today and asked how he likes to be addressed. You know Native American, First American, Indian? He prefers Original Owner.

What do you call a concern about a specific time you may have booked on Native American property? A reservation reservation reservation.

What did native Americans use to blow their nose? Their tee-pee

What do you call a Native American cook? A Sioux chef

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Long Native American Jokes

A man and his family walk into a bar...

Inside of the bar, the man's youngest child sees a Native American sitting under a sign stating "World's longest memory". The child walks up to sign and decides to test if this sign is true. The child asks "What did you have for breakfast 30 years ago?" The Native American states "eggs." The child states that the native could have just made that up, and then later leaves the bar.

Years later, when the child returns back with his own family he sees the same native at the bar. Walking up to the man, he states a stereotypical "how!" The Native replies "scrambled."

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding

He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”
She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.”


“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba".

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane...

He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat … As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, ” Business trip or pleasure?”
She turned, smiled and said, “” Business. I’m going to the Annual Nympho- maniacs of America Convention in Boston .”
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your business role at this convention?”
” Lecturer,” she responded. ” I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” he said. ” And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well,” she explained,” one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. ” I’m sorry,” she said, ” I shouldn’t really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name…”
“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba.”

A Native American shaman had an apprentice

One day the apprentice said to his mentor, "You take long trip. I try be shaman for summer."

The shaman asked, "Why should I take trip?"

The apprentice tried bribery. "If you take trip, I feed you belly full."

The shaman agreed, so the apprentice gave his mentor a big meal, and the next day the shaman left on his long trip.

But the apprentice turned out to be a terrible shaman. Within a week, the chief could not take it anymore, and left to search for the old shaman. He found him and begged, "Please come back to tribe."

The shaman asked, "Why should I come back?"

The chief tried bribery. "If you come back, I feed you belly full."

The shaman agreed, so they both went back, and the chief gave the shaman a big meal.

When the apprentice saw his mentor had returned, he asked, "Why back so soon?"

The old shaman explained, "Full me once, shaman you. Full me twice, shaman me."

Nymphomaniac Convention

Nymphomaniac Convention

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat.
As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.

He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat... As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston"

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men,

when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.

I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name.."

"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."

A Native American walks into an Old West saloon followed shortly by a bear

The patrons freeze in fear, and the saloonkeeper points to the Native American man and whispers "There's a bear right behind you!"

The Native American man holds up a calm hand and says, "I can explain. Bear with me."

Edit: will not apologize for Dad jokes.

The Memory Man

A man from Liverpool, England was touring the USA on holiday and stopped in a remote bar in the hills of Nevada. He was chatting to the bartender when he spied an old Native American man sitting in the corner. He had tribal gear on, long white plaits, wrinkled face.

"Who's he?" asked the Liverpudlian.

"That's the Memory Man." said the bartender. "He knows everything, remembers everything. He can remember every face he's ever seen. He can remember any fact he hears or reads. Go and try him out."

So the Liverpudlian goes over, and thinking he won't know about English football, asks "Who won the 1965 FA Cup Final?".

"Liverpool" replies the Memory Man.

"Who did they beat?"

"Leeds" was the instant reply.

"And the score?"

"2-1."

"Who scored the winning goal?"

"Ian St. John" said the old man, without a hint of hesitation.

The Liverpudlian was knocked out by this and told everyone back home about the Memory Man when he got back.

A few years later he went back to the USA and tried to find the impressive Memory Man. Eventually he found the bar and sitting in the same seat was the old Native American, only this time he was older and even more wrinkled.

The Liverpudlian approached him with the greeting "How".

The Memory man looked up and said, "Diving header in the six yard box".

The Hitchhiker.

A man is driving across the state to see his wife when he sees a Native American hitchhiker on the side of the road. Thinking he could do with some company, he pulls over and lets the man in, offering him a ride home.

The Native man is grateful, but our driver notices that he keeps eyeing the large bottle of gin on the floor of the passenger seat. Not wanting the guy to get any ideas, he says "Ah, I got that bottle for my wife."

The Native man says nothing for a few moments, then softly replies

"Good trade."

The Hitchhiker

A man is driving across the state to see his wife when he sees a Native American hitchhiker on the side of the road. Thinking he could do with some company, he pulls over and lets the Native man in, offering him a ride home.

The Native man is grateful, but our driver notices that he keeps eying the large bottle of gin on the floor of the passenger seat. Not wanting the guy to get any ideas, he says "Ah, I got that bottle for my wife."

The Native man says nothing for a few moments, then softly replies

"Good trade."

A Native American Chief had three wives, all of whom were pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated that he built her a teepee made of deer hide. A few days later, the second gave birth also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide.

The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide. The chief then challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred.

Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that the third wife had given birth to twin boys. "Correct," said the chief. "How did you figure it out?"

The warrior answered, "It's elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides."

Nymphomaniac Convention

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat.

As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman
he ever saw boarding the plane.

He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out,

"Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said,

"Business."

I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

He swallowed hard.

Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him,
and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked,

"What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded.

"I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences
to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really?" he said.

"And what kind of myths are there?" "

"Well", she explained,

"One popular myth is that African-American men
are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact
it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

"Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers,
when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.

I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina
is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.

"I'm sorry," she said,

"I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you.
I don't even know your name..."

"Tonto," the man said ,

"Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."

The Longest Memory in the World

One day, a young man takes a trip out West and comes across a little Native American village. He decides, what the heck, he'll stop and look around. One of the Native women, seeing that he's not from around, tells the man he should visit the Chief, who she says has the longest and best memory in the world. So the man decides to go visit the Chief and asks: "So I hear you have the greatest memory in the world." The Chief answers "I do. I can remember every single detail of my entire life." The man figures he should test this, and asks the Chief "What did you have for breakfast on April the 27th, 1959?" After stopping to think for a second, the chief answers "two eggs." Satisfied, the man says goodbye to the Chief and eventually leaves the village.
Twenty years later, the man takes another trip out West and comes across the same village. He's amazed when he notices the Chief, still alive after all these years. The man, stops and says hello, so he raises his hand and says, "How" and the Chief replies "fried."

A Native American asked his chief about the coming winter

"How bad will this winter be?" He asked.

"It is good to be prepared. Get some firewood ready" replied the chief.

The chief then called his friend in the national weather service to ask him. " How bad will this winter be?"

The meteorologist said "this will be a pretty cold winter"

The chief then told his people what the meteorologist said. A few weeks later the chief called to ask again, just to be sure.

"Well," said the meteorologist, "its gonna be worse than we thought this year."

Again the chief relayed this to his people and told them to put out more firewood.

Right before the winter came, the chief called the meteorologist once more to ask, "how bad will this winter be?"

The meteorologist said "it's gonna be worse than we thought"

The chief thanked the meteorologist and asked him "how do you get such accurate information?"

"Well, we have teams of scientists that study patterns to predict what the weather will be like. But we found that the most reliable method is to just look at how much firewood the native Americans put out"

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”
She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your business at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name.”
“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba".

There's an old Native American man that sits in a teepee along the road I take to work.

Every morning for a while now I stop in and ask him what the weather will be that day. Rain, snow, sun, clouds. He's always right.

Well yesterday I stopped in just like normal and asked what the weather was going to be like.

"Got no clue", he said.

I was shocked. "What's different about today that you don't know?"

He just shook his head sadly. "Radio broke."

In the early 1800s three explorers are captured by a Native American tribe

In the early 1800s three explorers are captured by a Native American tribe...A Frenchman, an Englishman and a Russian. They are all taken in front of the chief. The chief is furious that they trespassed on the scared ancestral burial land but says they would have one chance to redeem themselves. Next day at noon they are taken into a ravine. The chief points into the sky where an eagle is soaring in circles high above. The chief says, you must first take a shot of the fire water then take a bow and a single arrow. If you can shoot down the eagle, you’ll live....if not....etc...

So the Frenchman takes a fist crack at it, takes the shot, picks up the bow....shoots....misses. He’s taken away.

The Englishman is up next, he takes his time sipping the firewater, then slowly raises the bow into the air.....aims......aims.......and still missed the bird. He’s taken away.

The Russian drinks the shot....kind of liked it, then asks the chief if he could have more? Amused, the chief says....sure have as much as you want. The Russian ends up drinking all the firewater the tribe had. Finally he picks up the bow and takes a shot.....hitting the eagle right through the heart!

The entire tribe is standing there frozen in sheer bewilderment. How did you do that? They asked. So the Russian goes, every time I drank a few shots there were more and more of those stupid birds up there.....by the time I was done drinking there were so many I practically couldn’t miss!!!

A man is driving through the desert when he notices a sign.

The sign reads "Turn here to speak to the native American with the most incredible memory"

Curious, the man takes the turning. He comes across the native American man standing at the side of the road.

He approaches him and gives his best "How!"

The native American replies "How!"

"Is your memory really as good as the sign suggests?" asks the man.

"Try me" replies the native American.

"Okay, what did you have for breakfast on July 18th 1986?"

The native American thinks for a moment and then replies, "Eggs."

Amazed, the man thanks the native American and gets back in his car and continues his journey.

15 years later, he is travelling through the same desert and notices the same sign. Having forgotten all about the native American until seeing the sign, he decides to go ask another question.

Upon reaching the native American, he again gives his best "How!"

"Scrambled"

A father-son hike

A Father and his son are hiking in the grand canyon. The go around some bends, over some hills, and through some nooks. They round the bend and see a native american sitting on a rock.

The father points to the native american and says, “son, native americans have the best memory of any peoples in the world”

The young son thinks he’s quite the smart one and goes up to the native american and says, “What did you have for breakfast last tuesday.”

Without hesitation the Native American responds, “eggs.” The son is impressed and goes on with the hike with his father.

30 years later the son is now a grown man, and is hiking the same trail with his own son. He goes around the same bends, over the same hills, and lo and behold, rounds the corner and there is that same native american on the same rock.

He’s an older wiser man now, and will really test this native american. He walks up, raises his hand in greeting and says “HOW”

Native American responds, “Scrambled.”

A cowboy is captured by a Native American tribe.

The chief approaches the cowboy and tells him, "Your people have encroached upon our lands and killed our brothers, We may kill you in retribution. But we are generous. We will offer you one request per day for the next three days. Choose wisely. What is your first request?"

The cowboy thinks for a moment and asks for his horse. The tribesmen bring the horse and the cowboy whispers something into its ear. The horse takes off and arrives back that night with a beautiful blond on its back. She dismounts the horse and spends the night with the cowboy making passionate love.

On the second day, the chief approaches the cowboy and says, "White man. You have two requests remaining. Think not of carnal desires but of how you might redeem yourself. What is your second request?

Again the cowboy asks for his horse. The tribesmen bring the horse and the cowboy again whispers something into the horse's ear. The horse takes off and arrives back that night with a beautiful red-head on its back. The red-head dismounts and spends the night with the cowboy making passionate love.

On the third day, The chief again approaches the cowboy and says, "White man, today is your final request. Choose wisely. You may yet redeem yourself."

Without hesitation, the cowboy asks for his horse one more time. The tribesmen bring the horse and the cowboy grabs it by both of its ears, looks it in its eyes and yells, "POSSE, GODDAMNIT. BRING THE POSSE!"

I heard we like Native American jokes.

Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with
his ear to the ground.
One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see
that Indian?"
"Yeah," says the other cowboy.
"Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground.
He can hear things for miles in any direction."
Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says,
"about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white.
Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon."
"Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian
knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color they
are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!"
The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a
half hour ago."

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