Dad joke warning ⚠
Nope. Owl go who. Car go beep beep.
I warned you.
I won a Gold medal! Wow! Thank you /u/ArticCamels! I appreciate you... Be safe out there.
BOSS: I've called you here because I suspect one of you
is an owl?
*everyone stares at me, even Gary whose head is turned 180°*
What's the difference between a tuna, a piano, and an owl? You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.
What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl? One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh*t
What do you call a wet baby owl? A moist owlette.
What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl? One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...
Me: Someone we know is possessed by an owl.
Me: [narrows eyes]
What's the difference between a short sighted marksman and a constipated owl? One can shoot but can't hit..
What's the difference between a poor marksman and a constipated owl? One shoots and shoots but can't hit, and the other...
What does a pretentious owl say? Whom whom.
What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl? One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't...
What do you call an owl with a PhD? Doctor who
The thing about bird jokes are...
sometimes they're hard to swallow.
Owl let myself out.
What's the difference between a bad sniper and a constipated owl? One can shoot but not hit, the other can hoot but not sh*t.
How long does it take for an owl to die? Six and a fifth books.
So I told my girlfriend someone's out there making owl noises and she's like "who"
Whats the difference between a blind sniper and a constipated owl One shoots and cant hit...
I recently tried the fruitarian diet, where you can only eat things that fall from trees I only lasted a day. All I had was 3 apples and an owl.
what's the difference between a cross-eyed hunter and a constipated owl? the hunter shoots but can't hit...
My website just crashed from a huge influx of traffic today... I wonder why so many people are interested in my superb owl, today of all days. I mean, he's really great and all, but he's just an owl.
What's the difference between a hunter and a constipated owl? One shoots and tries to hit, the other hoots and tries to...
Did you hear about the cursed night bird that lives in the reservoir? Well owl be damned.
What's an owl's favourite drink?
Sorry, I made this joke up when I was 5 and just wanted to share :P
What do you call a religious owl? A bird of pray.
What do you call a baby owl in the rain? A moist owlette
What is the owl's favorite school subject? Owlgebra
I don't care how great owls are I'm not throwing some stupid party over a superb owl.
What's the average lifespan of an owl? About six and a half books.
What do you call an owl that does magic? Hooooooo-dini!
Joker: "Someone said you sound like an owl more than a bat" Bat: "WHO?"
Why didn't the night owl go to the funeral? He wasn't a mourning person
What the difference between an owl, and a good archer. A good archer shoots and hits.
An owl and a squirrel are in a tree watching a farmer go by The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.
What did the narcissistic owl say? Me me me
An owl was investigated as a suspect in the serial murders of eight random individuals in under a year But the case went cold after repeatedly insisting it didn't know the victims' names.
What's an owl's nose called? whoo nose?
How long does an owl live? About 6 1/2 books
Credit to my 3-year old daughter, who made her first legitimately funny joke last night! (It quacked me up...)
What was that famous owl veterinarian's name again? Dr. Who^^^please ^^^dont ^^^kill ^^^me
What does the French owl say? Qui Qui
I've named the owl that flies near my home after our 45th President Vladmir Hootin
That owl asked the introspect question evee Who are you??
What do you call an owl that has a good time babysitting? A hootenanny.
Have you ever noticed that all the characters in Winnie the Pooh have names that reflect what they are?
Piglet is a little 🐖
Tigger is a 🐅
Rabbit is a 🐰
Owl is an 🦉
And "Eeyore" is the sound people make when they're clinically depressed.
What did Owl say to Winnie-the-Pooh wanting to buy Minoxidil? It’s just sham, Pooh!
How do you know which bird will always go all-in on a hand in poker? An owl. Because it's owl nothing.
That's the problem with bird sanctuaries... Once you've seen one, you've seen 'em owl.
Where in Russia did the barn owl live? In Barnaul.
What do you get when you cross an owl with a skunk? Something that smells but doesn't give a hoot!
Have you heard thee one about the owl? It was a hoot
Someone told me I look like an owl. Who?
What sound does a Spanish owl make? Quien, quien
What's an Owl favorite DJ? Deamau5.
What's the most common owl in Britain? The Tea towel.
Today an owl was found murdered by another owl. Police say it was a drive-by hooting.
What sound does a streaming owl make? Hulu, hulu
Did you hear about the owl who fell in love with the goat? They had a hootin-nanny.
A knock knock joke for real life
Me: "knock knock"
Example: "who's there?"
Example: "who who?"
Me: "I didn't realize I was talking to an owl"
I'll see myself out
Make Up Your Mind...Are You A Pig or an Owl