Owl Jokes

Dad joke warning ⚠ Knock, knock...
Who's there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
Nope. Owl go who. Car go beep beep.

I warned you.

I won a Gold medal! Wow! Thank you /u/ArticCamels! I appreciate you... Be safe out there.

BOSS: I've called you here because I suspect one of you is an owl?

ME: Who?

*everyone stares at me, even Gary whose head is turned 180°*

What's the difference between a tuna, a piano, and an owl? You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl? One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh*t

What do you call a wet baby owl? A moist owlette.

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl? One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...

Me: Someone we know is possessed by an owl. Friend: Who?

Me: [narrows eyes]

What's the difference between a short sighted marksman and a constipated owl? One can shoot but can't hit..

What's the difference between a poor marksman and a constipated owl? One shoots and shoots but can't hit, and the other...

What does a pretentious owl say? Whom whom.

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl? One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't...

What do you call an owl with a PhD? Doctor who

The thing about bird jokes are... sometimes they're hard to swallow.

Owl let myself out.

What's the difference between a bad sniper and a constipated owl? One can shoot but not hit, the other can hoot but not sh*t.

How long does it take for an owl to die? Six and a fifth books.

So I told my girlfriend someone's out there making owl noises and she's like "who"

Whats the difference between a blind sniper and a constipated owl One shoots and cant hit...

I recently tried the fruitarian diet, where you can only eat things that fall from trees I only lasted a day. All I had was 3 apples and an owl.

what's the difference between a cross-eyed hunter and a constipated owl? the hunter shoots but can't hit...

My website just crashed from a huge influx of traffic today... I wonder why so many people are interested in my superb owl, today of all days. I mean, he's really great and all, but he's just an owl.

What's the difference between a hunter and a constipated owl? One shoots and tries to hit, the other hoots and tries to...

Did you hear about the cursed night bird that lives in the reservoir? Well owl be damned.

What's an owl's favourite drink? Hoot beer!

Sorry, I made this joke up when I was 5 and just wanted to share :P

What do you call a religious owl? A bird of pray.

What do you call a baby owl in the rain? A moist owlette

What is the owl's favorite school subject? Owlgebra

I don't care how great owls are I'm not throwing some stupid party over a superb owl.

What's the average lifespan of an owl? About six and a half books.

What do you call an owl that does magic? Hooooooo-dini!

Joker: "Someone said you sound like an owl more than a bat" Bat: "WHO?"

Why didn't the night owl go to the funeral? He wasn't a mourning person

What the difference between an owl, and a good archer. A good archer shoots and hits.

An owl and a squirrel are in a tree watching a farmer go by The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

What did the narcissistic owl say? Me me me

An owl was investigated as a suspect in the serial murders of eight random individuals in under a year But the case went cold after repeatedly insisting it didn't know the victims' names.

What's an owl's nose called? whoo nose?

How long does an owl live? About 6 1/2 books

"Knock Knock..." "Who's there?"

"Owl."

"Owl, who?"

"Chicken, buck-buck!"

Credit to my 3-year old daughter, who made her first legitimately funny joke last night! (It quacked me up...)

What was that famous owl veterinarian's name again? Dr. Who^^^please ^^^dont ^^^kill ^^^me