Firefighter Jokes

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Funniest Firefighter Jokes

Funny Firefighter Jokes

What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons? José and Josb

What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons? José and Hose B

What did the Mexican firefighter name his sons? Jose and Hose B

What did the Mexican firefighter call his two sons? José and Hose-B

What did the Hispanic firefighter name his kids? José and Hose-B

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Hose A and Hose B

If a firefighter has 2 eyes, then what does a ballerina have? Two, too

What did the Mexican Firefighter name his two children? Jose and Hose B

What did the Mexican firefighter name his two kids? Jose and Hose-B

What is a firefighter with no testicles? A cop.

Did you hear about the Japanese firefighter who changed careers to aviation in 1940? He went from hero to Zero.

Working at home sucks... ...if you are a firefighter

What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons? Jose and Hose B.
It sounds better when said aloud.

If a firefighter has two eyes, then what does a ballerina have...? Two, too

The ladder A man was trapped in a burning building and a firefighter yelled through the window, "You have two possible exit points, this ladder or the stairs." The man chose the latter. He died.

What did the firefighter pimp say when he walked into the club? Where my hose at?

What did the Mexican firefighter name his 2 sons? Jose and Josb

Joke my dad told me a long time ago, although I know he didn't create it

My father wanted me to be a firefighter So he installed a brass pole from my bedroom to the living room. It didn't work. But my sisters both work at the Catwalk

A Mexican Firefighter had two kids He named one Jose and the other Hose B

What did the Mexican firefighter call his sons? Hose A, Hose B, and Hose C

TIL... Tomorrow I learned that Steve Buscemi was a volunteer firefighter on Sep....

How did the firefighter lose his job? He got fired.

How do you know if a firefighter is at your party? They will tell you.

What does a mexican firefighter call his 2 kids? Jose and Hose B

What did the Mexican firefighter name his two children? Hose A and Hose B

Why did the firefighter remove the calendar from a burning house? To save the date!

What did the Spanish firefighter name his twin sons? Jose and Hose B

What did the mexican firefighter call his two sons? Hose A and Hose B

From a firefighter Why do donuts have holes in them?

So cops can see when they drive.

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Hose A and Hose B

Fight fire with fire Said the worst firefighter ever.

A firefighter had two sons he named them Hose A and Hose B

What did the Mexican firefighter name his three children? Hose A, Hose B, and Hose C

What's Jean Claude van Damme name after failing firefighter test? Jean Claude Notre Dame

Why did the firefighter stop working? He got too burnt out

What did the Mexican firefighter name his children? Hose A and Hose B

Working at home sucks Paul, firefighter

Where was the heroic firefighter buried? Under a pile of burning roof

The Human Torch went on a date with a firefighter... but the firefighter wasn’t putting out that night, so he just had to go back home and torch himself.

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Long Firefighter Jokes

A bar is burning to the ground, and a team of firefighters rush in to put it out.

A bar is burning to the ground and a team of firefighters rush in to put out the fire. When they get inside they see an Irishman passed out from smoke inhalation. They drag him out of the bar and eventually the Irishman comes to. The firefighter says "you were there, how did this whole thing get started?!" The Irishman responds "I don't know it was burning when I walked in"

Just a little fire truck

A was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. The firefighter walked over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," the firefighter said with admiration. "Thanks," the girl replied. The firefighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. "Little partner," the firefighter said, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster." The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."

A place got lit on fire

But the firefighters were too late to reach and put it out. Media arrived as well to which one of the firefighter giving report said, "I've got a good news and a bad news, the bad news is, 41 children died in that fire. But the good news is it was an orphanage, so I have no parents to notify"

A Firefighter, a Sheriff, and a Paramedic are trying to get into heaven...

St. Peter greets them and tells them regardless of their heroic acts, they'll need to be able to count to ten to get into heaven.

The Sheriff goes first. He hauls out his Colt .45 and counts the shots, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7... Let me try again!" So he reloads, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7... Nope, I only got 7 shots."

So the Paramedic steps up, "I can do this." He gets into CPR position, "1 and, 2 and, 3 and, 4 and, 5... 1 and, 2 and, 3 and, 4 and, 5... Nope, CPR only goes in rounds of five."

The firefighter reluctantly goes next... "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10"

"That's amazing!" St. Peter declares, "You're the first all week. Can you count any higher?"

"Sure, 10, jack, queen, king."

A firefighter is working on the engine

A firefighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little boy next door in a little red wagon with tiny ladders hung off the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The boy is wearing a firefighter's helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and a cat. The firefighter walks over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," the fire fighter says with admiration.
"Thanks," says the little boy. As the firefighter looks a little closer, he notices the boy has tied the wagon to the dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.
"Little partner," the firefighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."
The little boy says, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."

Little Firefighter

A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. The firefighter walked over to take a closer look. 'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the firefighter said with admiration. 'Thanks,' the girl replied. The firefighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. 'Little partner,' the firefighter said, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster. ' The little girl replied thoughtfully, 'You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.

A firefighter was working on the engine outside the station

when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet.
The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.
The firefighter walked over to take a closer look.
'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the firefighter said with admiration.
'Thanks,' the girl replied. The firefighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.
'Little partner,' the firefighter said, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster. '

The little girl replied thoughtfully, 'You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.'

A cop and a firefighter die and go to heaven.

God gives them each some wings, with a warning that if they have even one bad thought, they’ll lose their wings.

A little while goes by. The cop and firefighter are checking out heaven together. Then, a smoking hot girl walks by. The firefighter’s wings fall off.

The firefighter bends over to pick up his wings, and the cop’s wings fall off.

A cop, a firefighter, and a bureaucrat are at a elementary school career day...

The cop brags, “I’m the fastest one out of the three. I can respond to a threat in one minute”

The firefighter says, “That’s nothing, I can run into a burning building and rescue someone in 30 seconds”

The bureaucrat responds, “pfff, I can work 9-5 and be home by 2”

He Tries To Give A Little Girl Some Advice. But Didn’t Expect This Reply.

One afternoon, firefighter Rick was working on the engine outside the Fire Station, when he noticed a little Susan nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides, and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.

The Susan was wearing a fire fighter’s helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.

So firefighter Rick walked over to take a closer look. “That sure is a nice fire truck,” the firefighter said with admiration to Susan.

“Thanks,” the little Susan replied.

Then firefighter Rick looked a little closer, The girl had tied the wagon to her dog’s collar and to the cat’s testicles.

“Little partner,” firefighter Rick said, “I don’t want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat’s collar, I think you could go a lot faster.”

The little Susan replied thoughtfully, “You’re probably right, but then I wouldn’t have a siren.”

A child who loved tractors (sorry if it’s a repost, haven’t seen it yet)

There was a young boy born to a family of farmers, his name was Ryan.

From a very early age he was amazed by all the machinery on his farm, but especially the tractors, his father owned four, each unique to their tasks. The large red one for the tonnes of wheat, the slightly smaller green one for all the tomatoes, the even smaller one for carrots, and the very small one with a tow for his wife to assist and the children to sit in the back.

As Ryan grew, he got more and more fascinated by the tractors, at just age 8 he could identify all the parts of the tractor including the tiny pieces in the engine.

By 14 he had started to learn to drive them as his brother before him had too, he grew jealous of their skills and wanted to be the best on the farm.

He practices and practiced and in less than 3 months he had mastered the skills of all the tractors and was much better than his older two brothers.

Ryan however wasn’t the most social of kids, when he turned 16 he got his first girlfriend which ended very quickly when she knew he was a farm boy and was obsessed about farming, he pictures all over his walls of various machines and automotives, so he was rather upset.

The years went by and his brothers both left the farming business behind and became a lawyer and a firefighter as they had been searching for a different life, along with that came their wives too.

Ryan was not happy though he wanted to find love too, and at the ripe old age of 26 he went bar to bar, club to club trying to find the one. He got a couple dates here and there but nothing lasted. Until a beautiful angel fell right in front of him at a farmers market. It was his first day alone as both his parents were too tired to help him. Their eyes darted side to side as their checks started to redden, to avoid anymore awkwardness,
“My names Chole” she grinned.
“Ryan” he chuckled back,
“Do you need any help, I’ve been looking for a job in acting for a while and can’t find anything” Chole exclaims,
“Of-of course” Ryan blurts out in nervousness.

So as the next day Chloe meets Ryan at the market and this continues for a while and they eventually start dating, and fall in love, and get married.

Ryan is so happy with his life now that he’s finally caught up to his older brothers. However his parents both get very sick and in the next few years the pass away only moths apart from each other

Next on the agenda is children, they’ve talked long about the idea and Ryan says it will be very beneficial in the futures as his parents aren’t around anymore for ever to help. So they try for children for a year but sadly nothing comes of it, except an argument; Chloe becomes very stressed out and explains “I know this is your business, but I’m done, I want to carry on with acting and I want my dream role, I’m done with your stupid tractors, ENOUGH!”

Ryan very shocked by this is hurt and doesn’t know what to say but he still loves his wife, they deliberate much more until Chole gives an ultimatum; “it’s the tractors or me!” And Ryan takes a few confusing minutes but decides to stay with Chole and sell the farm to buy a new house for them and try for children in other ways.

Eventually they’re all settled in to their cramped city apartment, and set out to see the doctors after many tests.
The doctors gives the upsetting news that Ryan is unable to have children, distraught by the fact and his new completely different life, his rushes out the room slamming the door behind him, leaving Chloe in tears.

He marches down to the nearest bar to grab a drink and sit in his wallows. When suddenly a fire bursts out in the kitchen, in shock the other guest all run straight out the building and call the fire brigade, who are then followed by the employees who try to get Ryan to leave but he’s too sad to move. Unfortunately before the employee can escape a fiery beam drops from the ceiling trapping their exit.

However Ryan stays calm and tries to ignore the situation but the employees are screaming as the smoke billows up and traps them in the building.

Ryan finishes the last sip of his drink and stands up.

He goes over to the employees and says everything is going to be ok as the start to choke,

He then sucks in as hard as he can filling his lungs with smoke and clears the room allowing the others to breathe.

Just when the dust starts to settle, none other than his brother burst in to stop the flames.

He is confused though as there is no longer smoke, he says “woah little bro, how did you do that?”

Ryan says, “because Chloe hates them, now I’m an

ex tractor fan”

Faster Firetruck

A firefighter is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little girl next door. The little girl is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. She is wearing a Firefighter's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog. The firefighter says "Hey, little girl, whatcha doing?"

The little girl says, "I'm a firefighter and this is my fire truck!"

The firefighter walks over to take a closer look. "Little girl, that sure is a nice fire truck!" the firefighter says.

"Thanks, mister," says the little girl.

The firefighter looks a little closer and notices the little girl had tied the wagon to the dog's testicles. "Little girl," says the firefighter, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck, I think you could go faster."

The little girl says, "You're probably right, mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren."

A priest is sinking into quicksand...

A firefighter comes and ask him if he wants some help to get out of the quicksand. The priest answers: '' No thanks, I'm a believer and I'm sure God will send his help to save me''. Then the firefighter goes away.

A bit later an entire fire truck comes and asks if they could help him cause he's already sunk until his hisps. But once again the priest refuses.

When the priest is nearly sunk, the fire truck comes to help him but the priest refuses frankly and finally die.

Once in heaven, the priest meet God and asks him: '' I've always believed in you, why didn't you save me? ''
'' Are you kidding? '' answers God '' I send three times the firefighters! ''

A fireman decides he needs to spice up his marriage...

...so he tells his wife that he has an idea. He tells her that when he gets home he will announce a 'one alarm.' He will say 'one alarm, one alarm' and they will kiss passionately. Then the firefighter tells her that he will say 'two alarm, two alarm' and they wil take off all of their clothes on the way to the bedroom, then 'third alarm, this is a third alarm' and they will begin wild passionate love making. So the wife agrees that this is a good, novel idea.
After a few shifts the fireman comes home and decides to try it out.
He walks in the door, 'baby we have a one alarm, a one alarm fire!' And they begin to kiss. Then he says 'two alarm, we've got a two alarm fire' and they begin to disrobe on the way to the bedroom.
Then the fireman says' we have a three alarm, this is a third alarm fire' and the wife gets into it, they hit the bed and begin wild lovemaking.
After a few seconds she says 'four alarm, four alarm, this is a fourth alarm!!!' He stops and asks,'four alarm? What's a fourth alarm?! We didn't discuss that?'
The wife says 'fourth alarm? Yeah. Roll out more hose, you're no where near the fire!'



Apologies for formatting.

Arrived home four hours ahead of schedule

A police officer, although scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 in the morning. Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the
bedroom and started to climb into bed.

Just then, his wife sleepily sat up and said, " Sam, dearest, would you go down to the all-night drug store on the next block and get me some aspirin? I've got a splitting headache." "Certainly, honey," he said, and feeling his way across the dark room, he got dressed and walked over to the drug store.

As he arrived, the pharmacist looked up in surprise, "Say," said the druggist, "I know you - aren't you a policeman? Officer Fenwick, right?" "Yeah, so?" said the officer. "Well what the heck are you doing all dressed like a Firefighter "

Fire Tradgedy

On the local news last night there was a horrific fire resulting in the tragic loss of life. A particular fact about this fire had some members of the community riled up. It turned out that this particular building that burned down had Mexican tenants on the first floor, Black tenants on the second floor, and White tenants on the third floor. Somehow the first and second floor tenants had not escaped the building, while the third-floor tenants were unscathed.

Al Sharpton happened to be in the area preaching against other forms of racial injustice and decided that he would show up at this scene and demand some answers. How could these firefighters save the third floor occupants before anybody else?!!! He approached a firefighter interviewing with Channel 10's Anne Long and interrupted them. He demanded answers, repeatedly cutting off both the firefighter and the reporter. He screamed and he hollered until finally Anne gets a word in...."well sir, turns out they were at work."

Fire person of Latin heritage

A Firefighter was called to a fire. He received a call from station house that while he was away his wife gave birth.
OMG is my wife okay?
Si si. All is okay senor.
Your wife delivered twins.
Dos bambino’s.
Not to worry senor. I took care of everything.
I named them too.
YOU NAMED MY KIDS!
Do not worry. All is okay.
I named the first boy Jose.
What did you name the second.
Hose B.

Trump, a charity worker, and a fire fighter are on a plane.

The plane loses power and starts to go down.

The pilot comes out and says, "We only have three parachutes! Someone is going down with the plane!"

Trump grabs a chute and says, "I can die. I'm the greatest, most intelligent, most beloved person, who knows all the words, and is overall a fantastic human being.". He then jumps out.

The Firefighter laughs and says, "That takes care of the problem."

The charity worker asks, "what do you mean? We only have two chutes left."

The firefighter shakes his head and says, "that idiot grabbed my backpack?"

A woman is drowning in a river

Another woman walks up to the river with a length of rope and shouts:


"I'll throw the rope and pull you out! Just grab on!"


But the drowning woman shouts back: "It's fine, I'm standing on solid ground!"


Frustrated, she fetches a life jacket and a buoy and tosses them expertly to the woman. "Here!" she shouts. "Just grab one of these!"


But the drowning woman, seemingly unconcerned, replies: "It's alright, I'll walk out of here in a moment."


Panicking, she runs until she meets a local firefighter. The firefighter speaks English with a heavy accent and they have trouble understanding each other at first, but she manages to communicate that help is needed.


Running, they go to the riverbank, and once again she shouts to the woman: "I've brought help! Hang on, he'll get you out of there!" Again, the drowning woman responds with "I'll be fine, I'm just having a rest - I'll get out in a second!" So she motions to the firefighter to go rescue the drowning woman.


But the firefighter shakes his head. "No."


"What do you mean, no?!"


"She's in de Nile."

One day a kid meets a firefighter who was getting out of his shift

The kid tells the firefighter “I want to be a firefighter when I grow up too!”
The firefighter responds with “ oh really kid?”
The kid responds with “yea follow me mister I’ll show you!”
So the kid and the firefighter go to the kids house and the firefighter sees a helmet, vest, wagon, and a cat tied up.
The kid tells the firefighter look mister my helmet for protection, vest for fire and my wagon for transportation, the man asks about the cat the kid says he need him to move him from place to place, the firefighter then notices a rope tied around the cats balls, when asked why there’s a rope tied there the kid says “well I need a siren.” The kid then proceeds to yank the rope and the cat go’s ROwWWWW!

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