Cowboy Jokes

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Funniest Cowboy Jokes

Funny Cowboy Jokes
Score: 2517

A lot of conflict in the Wild West.... ....could have been avoided completely if cowboy city planners had just made their towns big enough for everyone.

Score: 1427

A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97 So he rounded them up.

Score: 1188

What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher!

Hahahahahahahahah




you guys have no idea how alone I am.

Score: 393

A cowboy emigrated to Wales and opened a ranch at Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

​

Unfortunately, none of his cattle survived the branding.

Score: 227

Did you hear about the cowboy who wore a hat made of paper towels? He had a bounty on his head.



...I'll see myself out. :-/

Score: 198

Me reshaping history with one joke. I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone.

Score: 176

What is it called when a Cowboy dies and then is resurrected into a new life? Reintarnation.

Score: 156

What does the Chinese cowboy say? Yeehao 🤠

Score: 127

What is it called when a cowboy dies and comes back to life? Reintarnation

Score: 127

A cowboy ran out of food on the trail so he had to boil and eat his leather chaps. The next day he pooped his pants.

Score: 124

A cowboy walks into a German car showroom and says, "Audi".

Score: 114

A cowboy opens a German car dealership His business card says "Audi Partner"

Score: 92

What's a cowboy's favorite vehicle? Audi, partner.

Score: 73

Where does a cowboy go to find love? On Yee-Harmony.







(C) I tell jokes at work & honestly made this one up, I'm pretty stoked, please share if you liked it!)

Score: 62

A cowboy counted 48 horses on his property, but when he rounded them up... he had 50.

Score: 61

Ever wonder why Dallas Cowboy fans are so rich? Because they never have to pay for super bowl tickets!

Score: 52

Why aren't cowboy jokes funny? Ya herd one, ya herd em all.

Score: 50

What did the Buddhist say when he was reborn as a cowboy? WHAT IN CARNATION?!

Score: 47

Ninja Joke Can a viking throw an axe?
Sure he can.
Can a cowboy throw a lasso?
Sure he can.
Can a ninja throw a spinning blade?
Shuriken.

Score: 46

How does a Chinese cowboy say “Hi” ? Ni haody

Score: 44

A cowboy is buying condoms. "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please" he says.
"Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?" asks the cashier.
"Nah, she's purty good-lookin ..."

Score: 43

The first job I ever had was ironing cowboy clothes. Howdy pressing.

Score: 42

What type of car does a cowboy drive? Audi partner.

Score: 42

Why did the cowboy sleep with his saddle? In case of any night mares!

Score: 39

A cowboy goes into a shop to buy condoms Cowboy: "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."

Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"

Cowboy: "Nah.. She's purty good lookin'....."

Score: 39

Did you hear about the cowboy who wore a hat made of paper towels? He had a bounty on his head.

Score: 39

Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund? To get a long little doggie

Score: 39

What's a cowboy's favorite car? Audi, partner.

Score: 35

What is a happy cowboy's favorite candy? A jolly rancher.

Score: 34

Cowboy: How many cattle do we have here? 18..! Ranch owner: Round them up
Cowboy: Ok 20, then!

Score: 27

What do you call a cowboy comedian? A punslinger.

Score: 26

An Indian and a cowboy were buffalo hunting together The Indian suddenly knelt down, pressed his ear against the ground and said "Buffalo come."

The cowboy was amazed by this and asked him "how do you know this?"

The Indian replied: "Sticky."

Score: 26

Why did the cowboy adopt the weiner dog? He wanted to get a long little doggy!

Score: 18

A cowboy walks into a bar. He throws a coin up in the air, shoots at it three times, and says "My name is Bill, Buffalo Bill". After the cowboy, a stranger stands up, pulls down his pants, showing three testicles and says "My name is Bill, Cherno Bill".

Score: 14

Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund? Because he wanted to get a long, little doggie.

Score: 13

A cowboy kept trying to draw his gun Unfortunately, he couldn't find a pencil.

Score: 13

What did the cowboy say upon entering the German dealership? "Audi"

Score: 9

If you put on cowboy clothing... Are you ranch dressing?

Score: 7

Some people call me the space cowboy I wish they'd stop my names Jake

Score: 5

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New Cowboy Jokes

Before the UFC McGregor vs Cowboy fight, I was looking at both of those beasts of men and thinking “how are we even the same species as each other?” But then one guy only lasted 40 seconds, and I was like, “Wow, we and I have so much in common!”

Score: 0

What did the cowboy say to his wife that was trying to settle on getting a Dachshund or a St. Bernard? You should get a long little doggie.

Score: 2

What’s a happy cowboy’s favorite type of candy? Jolly ranchers

Score: 1

Whats does the cowboy drive around? a hAudi

Score: 1

A Cowboy walks in to a well known car showroom and says Audi.

Score: 2

A cowboy asks a city boy why he bought a dachshund. He responds, I heard someone say “get a long, little doggy.”

Score: 2

You ever hear about the hipster cowboy? He went to pay respects to the people buried at Boot Hill.

. . .you've probably never heard of them, because they're so underground.

Score: 1

What do you call a German cowboy with awful dress sense? Hans of the vile vile vest

Score: 2

Can't find a joke that was on here... help? Was trying to find a joke about a cowboy who keeps on getting prostitutes to look at a map and the punchline is "You keep putting the chart before the whores".

Help?

Score: 2

Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund? To get a long little doggy!

Score: 2

Why did the cowboy adopt a Dachshund? He wanted to get a long little doggy.

Score: 1

There's a big difference between a cowboy and a cowman. One's a cowboy, but the other's a cow, man!

^I'm ^sorry.

Score: 1

What do you call a teeter-totter in cowboy country? A yee-haw

Score: 1

A rabbi, an irishman, a travelling salesman, and a cowboy walk into a bar. The bartender asks them "what is this, some kind of joke?"

Score: 4

Did you hear about the rookie cowboy who made a mistake? It was his first rodeo.

Score: 2

Old Texas cowboy in a pharmacy Cowboy: "Give me three packets of condoms, please."
Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"
Cowboy: "Nah. She ain't that ugly.

Score: 4

Where does a cowboy buy all of his tar? Tarnation!

Score: 1

What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.

Girlfriends mom told us this "joke". Dad jokes are out, mom's are in.

Score: 1

What do a pimp and a cowboy have in common? They both know how to throw a hoedown.

Not my joke, just passing it on.

Score: 3

Why don't Dallas Cowboy fans take their wives to the football games?

'Cause they jump the fence and eat the grass.

Score: 2

Why is a dachshund a cowboy's favorite dog? They're always singing about getting a "long little doggy".

Score: 1

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