Google Jokes

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Funniest Google Jokes

I got an e-mail saying “At Google Earth, we can even read maps backwards”, and I thought... “That’s just spam”

Score: 8885

Bing could have totally crushed Google if they had called it "Bang" I mean, think about it.. "I BANGED Emma Watson last night."

Score: 7245
Funny Google Jokes
Score: 4389

I'm glad the cave rescue is complete.... Now when I google Thai boys I can get back to normal results

Score: 2822

is google male or female? female: because it refuses to let me finish a sentence before making suggestions

Score: 2016

Hi. My name is Bill Gates and today, I will be teaching you how to count to ten: 1, 2, 3, 95, 98, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10



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Edit: I think I may be missing a version, but looking through the comments it seems no one else knows what it is either. I'll have to google it.

Score: 1902

Is Google a woman? I can't even finish a sentence without it coming up with other suggestions.

Score: 1124

Just got an email from Google detailing how they have devised a way to read maps backwards... Turns out to be spam

Score: 1088

I just explained Google images to my mum... "Pick anything to search for" I told her.
"What about a nice cream pie?" She asked.

"Except that." I replied.

Score: 1043

I received an email from Google It said, "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards " I thought, "That's just spam."

Score: 810

Got an email from Google the other day... "At Google Earth, we're so good we can read maps backwards"

I thought "that's just spam."

Score: 740

If you Google "lost mediaeval servant boy" You get "This page cannot be found".

Score: 531

Is Google a boy or girl? Girl because it won't let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas

Score: 410

So china is making phones without Google apps now Guess it was always my way or the huawei

*i'm so sorry, I tried*

Score: 343

As I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of death I remind myself that you can't always trust Google Maps.

Score: 303

Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Score: 281

I think Google's a woman... Because it won't let you finish a sentence without coming up with other suggestions.

Score: 235

What's the most searched word on Bing? Google

Score: 235

I asked my buddy what it's like working at Google. Says he can't complain.

Score: 212

I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought... “That’s just spam.”

Score: 191

Asked Google how to start a campfire without any tools It gave me 20 million matches.

Score: 190

I typed "Missing medieval servant" into Google... But it just came up with "Page not found".

Score: 185

Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn't let you finish your sentence before making a suggestion.

Score: 177

I want my password to be beef stew but google says it’s not stroganoff.

Score: 165

Google is useless... I tried looking up lighters and all they had was 48,200,000 matches.

Score: 162

Google is useless I tried looking up lighters and all they had was 69,000,000 matches.

Score: 134

I asked my friend who works in google how it is out there ? He said " can't complain "

Score: 127

Have you noticed that if you google the phrase "lost medieval servant boy" The search returns "Page not found".

Score: 127

Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Score: 125

What's the safest place to hide a dead body? Page 2 of Google search.

Score: 122

Is Google a he or a she ? A she, no doubt, because it won't let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas

Score: 89

It turns out if you Google "Lost medieval servant boy" it says "this page cannot be found"

Score: 87

What gender is Google? Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Score: 86

Is Google a boy or a girl ? Google is a Girl because it won't let you complete
the whole sentence and starts guessing, suggesting and
you ask only one question,
but get hundreds of irrelevant answers in seconds...

Score: 80

Is Google a Male or Female? Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Score: 67

What does it mean when a girl posts her nudes on google+? That she's a google employee.

Score: 42

Is Google male or female? Female, because it can't let you finish a sentence without providing several suggestions.

Score: 34

I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" I thought, “That’s just spam.”

Score: 33

A baby helped me out the other day... I asked him, "How do I find other songs by the singer of 'Bad Romance'?"

He replied: "Google Gaga"

Score: 32

WebMD has integrated Google's Deepmind. On startup it performed a self diagnostic test.

Turns out, it's cancer.

Score: 26

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New Google Jokes

What do you get when you pull up Gettysburg on google maps? The Gettysburg Address 🙃

Score: 2

Is it normal that my sister brushes her teeth for almost 20min at 2am? Wait this is not Google.

Score: 1

How can you tell if Google is a female? It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence.

Score: 3

I asked Google to open up the mirror application for me I got redirected here instead

Score: 2

I've converted the house to google home... without telling my wife. How do I use this for a prank? I've thought about just lowering the brightness of the house over the course of a couple months

Score: 3

Google is like a girlfriend because.... It won’t let you complete the whole sentence and start guessing, and you ask only one question…..

but get hundreds of irrelevant answers in seconds.

Score: 2

My dog needed a checkup, so I Googled a place nearby. But when I got there, it was just this blonde white guy in army camo covered in swastika tattoos. Stupid Google found me a veteran aryan.

Score: 2

Did you know, if you google medieval squire boy.... it'll say this page cannot be found.

Score: 2

I think Bing could have totally crushed Google if they had called it "Bang". I mean, think about it.. "I BANGED Emma Watson last night."

Score: 5

I was so desperate to fix a problem... That I looked on the second page of Google to find the answer.

Score: 12

I once Googled, "How to commit murder and get away with it"... The first result was, "Don't Google how to commit murder and get away with it."

Score: 22

Where do letters go when they are sick? The Google Doc

Score: 7

You know what system Admins at Google are called? Probably Groot

Score: 6

What engine does the Google maps car have? A search engine!

Score: 2

Google announced a better speech recognition rate for its AI than for humans. I really love Google! It understands me.

Score: 6

So I had a job interview at Google today... and the first thing they said was 'tell us about yourself'

Score: 2

What do you do if you want to look up something in Italian? You google.it

Score: 2

TIL that Google is a girl Obviously because it won't let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas

Score: 2

Has anyone seen the new YouTube logo? It seems like a "bold" move for Google.

Score: 2

Gender of Google Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Score: 2

Where is the best place to hide a body? The second page of Google.

Score: 2

What did Google say to the politically incorrect employee? I can help you search for a new job.

Score: 12

Is your name google ? Because you have everything I am searching for!

Score: 3

Bono has released a protest song against Google I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

Score: 4

The Israeli Prime Minister I wanted to know the name of the Israeli Prime Minister. I had to use Google as it was not in yahoo.

Score: 1

what does Islam and Google have in common? a Musk

Score: 2

Sure is taking Google a long time to make a self driving car. They're hitting one obstacle after another.

Score: 4

I searched Google for "How to cheat on my girlfriend." The first result was "I hope you used the left hand to type that."

Score: 6

Is Google a he or a she? A she, no doubt, because it won‘t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas.

Score: 13

Where's the best place to hide a dead body? The second page of google search results.

Score: 6

Q: Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Score: 2

Is google a boy or a girl? Obviously a girl because it won't let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas

Score: 22

Why does Google like Israel? Because Israel's leader is Not In Yahoo.

Score: 9

I asked Google what is "idk"? And even Google doesn't know.

Score: 11

Why is it impossible to fight a scarecrow? By the time it reaches its last straw, there's nothing left.

(Google Assistant hit me with that one earlier)

Score: 1

Just got an email from Google explaining how to read maps backward... Turned out to be spam

Score: 7

Google is a woman I can't speak without it trying to finish my sentence

Score: 3

Why do Google engineers live in style? Because they know class!

Score: 1

Best place to hide a body? The second page of google search results

Score: 4

Google is female gender... Cause it won't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Score: 3

A knock knock joke to change the world Knock Knock.

Who's there?

I use yah.

I use yah who?

Really? Why? Google is way better.

Score: 20

What happens when you drop a Google account in the water? It syncs.

Score: 1

My favourite pick up lines Is your body from McDonald’s? Cause I’m loving it!


Can I follow you? Cause my mom told me to follow my dreams

I should call you Google, because you have everything I’m looking for.

Score: 3

How does one find the best internet browser? I dunno, google it!

Score: 1

The Google car won't use any fuel It will run on a search engine

Score: 2

Have you noticed if you Google the term "lost medieval servant boy" It says "page not found"

Score: 21

There's a new search engine being developed for infants Google Ga Ga

Score: 3

she told me her body is curvy when she goes swiming she looks like an island on google maps

Score: 3

What happens if you google "Lost Medieval Servant Boy"? It says "This paige cannot be found".

Score: 18

I spent my Google Rewards on a video of Caitlyn Jenner It was definitely worth the transaction

Score: 15

I used my Google Rewards on a video of Caitlyn Jenner It was worth the transaction

Score: 9

What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common? Immigrants

Score: 4

Facebook says: I know everyone. Google says: I know everything. The "Internet" says: Ya'll are nothing without me. Electricity says: Not this game again...

Score: 10

Best Place to hide.. Where's the best place to hide a body?
Page two of Google.

Score: 8

A joke my Google pixel told me Two fish are in a tank and one says to another,"how do you drive this thing"

Score: 3

I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration. Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.

Score: 5

Google is the #1 company in the world. How about them apples ?

Score: 2

[REQUEST] Coffee Puns My google searches led me to no great jokes, and I actually need them for a class. If you can give me some coffee puns, I'd be truly grateful.

Please espresso feelings!

Score: 3

Google just called, they want to put a camera on your mom... ... they heard she makes it around the block faster than their street view cars.

Score: 10

How does Google clean their facilities? They use Google Mops.

Score: 1

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