Programming Jokes

What language is most commonly used in programming? Profanity.

What do you call a Russian that enjoys programming? Computin.

A guy and a girl are in the same programming class.. Out of nowhere, the guy reaches over and grabs the girl's breast.

Disturbed, the girl looks at the guy and says "What are you doing!? Those are private!"

He only states "How is that? We're in the same class."

Einstein famously said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. But doing the same thing over and over again and actually getting a different result - that's called Computer Programming.

My girlfriend told me I care more about my programming job than about her. I told her she is the #1 thing I care about.

I watched so many programming tutorial videos in college My inner monologue started developing an Indian accent

Programming jokes are fun... ... but only when executed properly.

Why are blind people bad at programming? Because they can't C

Once you stop doing functional programming... You never return

I was blind, so my friend suggested me to learn programming. Now I csharp.

Why did Johnny fail his programming class? His mom kept telling him to do his homework, "No ifs, ands, or buts!"

The two most difficult things in programming... The two most difficult things in programming are memory management, naming things, and off by one errors.

I just started going for a sniper training course My trainer told me that sniping is like programming, you gotta C#.

What programming language do they use in Star Wars? JawaScript

What programming languages would we use if C didn't exist? Ans: PASAL, OBOL and BASI

If my wife thinks I'm obsessed with programming, she's crazy. Endif

I took a programming class in high school I got a C++

Why is programming in Django hard? You can only use two fingers on your left hand.

I almost bought a huge library out of old computer programming books... ...but the ascii price was way too high.

A programming genius named Sewter Built a limerick-writing computer

The metre was fine

And the rhymes quite divine

But for some reason it always got the last line wrong

I'm so good at programming I don't even need to test before I ship code. Sent my program last week and haven't heard of any problems since!

Signed,
Richard
Junior Helicopter Auto-Pilot Software Developer

I like my women like I like my programming languages. Visual and basic

Programming takes time. Just remember... Chrome wasn't built in a day

Programming joke Roses are Red
Violets are Blue

Unexpected Indent

In line 22

A programming joke There are three hard problems in computer concurrency. science. Cache invalidation, naming things, off-by-one errors, and

I took a programming class. I should have gotten a B- But the instructor gave me a C++

Why can’t orphans watch PBS? It’s all family-friendly programming.

A buddy and I are in the same programming class My friend starts writing down a note

I look at it

He says "Hay! That note is private"

I respond "But we are in the same class"

How do you convert Spanish programming into English? Yes++

Before art school, Adolf Hitler tried programming, but he always got stuck on race conditions.

What language do pirates prefer programming in? You might think they enjoy R but their true love is the C

Procedural programming is like school in the summer. It has no classes!

I didn't do very good in my programming class last year... I got a C++.

I'm trying to teach my cat Java programming... But he keeps complaining about a NullLaserPointerException.

I'm almost blind and I suck at programming... I couldn't C#

Hey girl are you a programming language? Because you are BASIC

What is the most commonly used language in computer programming? Foul

So basically i was programming when I tried to execute it, it said error on line 347.
But my code had only 346 lines.

An attempt If (input = programming humor) then (programming humor = file not found)