Hurricane Jokes

Contents

Funniest Hurricane Jokes

Remember, If your apartment is hit by a dolphin, DO NOT GO OUT TO SEE IF THE DOLPHIN IS OKAY That's how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside.

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Funny Hurricane Jokes
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Secretary walks into the President's room Secretary: Mr.President, Hurricane Florence is causing trouble.
Trump: Offer her the same deal as Stormy Daniels.

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I want to make a joke about hurricane Harvey But I am scared my inbox will be flooded

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What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? "Hold onto your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job."

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If your apartment is hit by a dolphin, DO NOT GO OUT TO SEE IF THE DOLPHIN IS OKAY. That's how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside.

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It's too early for hurricane jokes wait for everything to blow over first.

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Why do hurricanes get lousy names, like Sandy? Name that thing Hurricane Death Megatron 900 and I guarantee folks will be evacuating like they need to.

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What do Kim Kardashian and Hurricane Sandy have in common? They will both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV.

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What do Hurricane Matthew and Kim Kardashian have in common? They'll both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV

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If your house it hit by a dolphin, DO NOT GO OUT AND SEE IF THE DOLPHIN IS OKAY. That's how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside.

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HURRICANE SANDY UPDATE Mitt Romney has advised everyone in the path of Hurricane Sandy to make their way to their 2nd or 3rd homes immediately.

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Hurricane Ophelia just blew the roof off my cheese factory. There’s de Brie everywhere

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What does a marriage and a hurricane have in common? In the beginning there is lots of sucking and blowing, and in the end you still loose your house

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Have you heard of the new drink that they're calling the Hurricane Sandy?... Yeah.. apparently it's just a watered down Manhattan.

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A hurricane is a lot like getting married... Starts with a lot of blowing, then you lose your house.

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How is a hurricane like a marriage? At the beginning there's a lot of blowing and sucking, and when it's over your house is gone.

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What does Hurricane Katrina and Kim Kardashian have in common? They have both swallowed hundreds of black kids :)

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Astronauts release a photo of Hurricane Harvey... Astronauts released a photo of Hurricane Harvey as seen from the the International Space Station. They sent a short message along with the photograph; "Houston, you have a problem."

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What do you call a walking stick that makes you walk faster? A hurricane

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Women are like Hurricane Harvey When they come, they're wet and wild. When they leave, they take your car and your house.

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This Hurricane should have been called Snooki... The're both heading to the Jersey Shore with plans to blow everyone in a 50 mile radius.

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What does a marriage and a hurricane have in common? It begins with a lot of sucking and blowing and in the end you still loose your house

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Hurricane Sandy I asked my bartender for a Hurricane Sandy. She looked confused and asked, "What is that?"

I replied, "A watered down Manhattan."

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What does a woman and a hurricane have in common? When they come in they're really wet and blow really hard, and when they leave they take your house and car with them.

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What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job.

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What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold onto your nuts! This is no ordinary blow job!

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**What did hurricane Irma say to the coconut palm tree?** Hold on to your nuts this ain't no ordinary blow job!!!

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Is it too soon to say a Hurricane Harvey joke Or should I just wait for everything to blow over?

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What did Hurricane Tyrone say as it made landfall? Where the white beaches at?!?

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Texas refuses to remove its statues. Hurricane volunteers to help.

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What did the Hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary blow job.

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After Trump changes course of hurricane with a sharpie House approves budget of 12 crayons for border wall

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A hurricane is like a woman. When they come, they are wet, crazy, and wild. But when they leave, they take your house and your car.

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Why are people so worried about Hurricane Matthew's wind speeds? I thought CAT4 was capped at 16Mbps.

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A hurricane walks into a bar The owner doesn’t have insurance so his life is pretty much ruined.

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What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? "Hang on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!"

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What do Hurricane Irene and Kim Kardashian have in common? They blow the whole east coast and there's videos online.

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Because the Hurricane Made Landfall at Night... ...does that make it Florence Night-in Gale?

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Looking for a new drink? Try a Hurricane Sandy... It's a watered-down Manhattan

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What does Hurricane Harvey and Kim Kardashian have in common? They will both blow the entire coast just to get on TV.

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New Hurricane Jokes

I always get a little sad during hurricane season in south Florida... ...you could say I have tropical depression.

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Katy Perry sang that after a hurricane comes a rainbow, but you know what else comes after a hurricane? A moron in a suit.

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After considering Florida peeps trying to shoot at a hurricane incident... Shocked they're not trying to shoot at the coronavirus...

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Can the flap of a butterfly's wings cause a hurricane across the ocean? I don't know, but some bloke eating a pangolin in wuhan has caused loo roll to run out at Aldi...

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What do a hurricane and a Texas divorce have in common? Someone's gonna lose a trailer!

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What do a Hurricane and a wife have in common? One day it is wet and exciting and the next day your house is gone.

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A blind guy was in a hurry I call that a hurricane

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A hurricane tore off a quarter of my roof. oof.

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Hurricane Humor Me: Are you going to evacuate?

Friend: Namaste.

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I don't have to hurricane prep Between the glasses of water on my nightstand and the half-bottles of water on my passenger side floorboard I'm good for a year.

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You hear about the new drink called The Hurricane Dorian? It's just a watered down Bahama Mama..

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Don't donate to the Bahama hurricane victims without researching the organization first. It could be a scam. That's a good "Ja Rule" of thumb.

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In the wake of Hurricane Dorian, President Trump names a new Disaster Assistance Ambassador to The Bahamas. "He's the best. He'll do a great job, believe me." the President said. Ja Rule reportedly accepted the position via Twitter.

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About that hurricane Dorian... If it gets anymore major than this, we’ll have to rename it Ionian.

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I decided to listen to the Doors' "Riders On the Storm" as the next hurricane approaches. It's in E Dorian

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If Hurricane Dorian becomes a major hurricane... Will it be called Hurricane Mixolydian?

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What’s the best part about a hurricane party? You literally raise the roof

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If you live in Florida, make sure to take a black and white photo of the hurricane this weekend. I'm not exactly sure why, but I've heard a lot of buzz about a picture of Dorian, grey. People seem pretty wilde about it.

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I took a picture of Hurricane Dorian but it came out Grey.

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If this storm is named Dorian... If this storm is named Dorian, what is it called a hurricane and not a himmacane instead?

Courtesy of my 60 year old dad so you know it's real

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What do hurricane Dorian, and my impending divorce have in common? Someone is losing a trailer.

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The hurricane swept away 1/4 of my roof oof.

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What does a hurricane and a West Virginian divorce have in common? Somebody's gonna lose their mobile home.

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What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be one heck of a blow job.

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An old one but a good one What does a hurricane in Florida, a tornado in Arkansas, and a divorce in Kentucky have in common?



Someone is fixin’ to lose a trailer

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Soccer made easy for everyone Why Harry Kane scores with great efficiency and reliability ?

Because he is a hurricane for the enemy defence .

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What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold on to your nuts cuz I'm going to blow you off.

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What do you get when Hurricane Chris tries to sell a large body of water connected to an ocean? eBay bay

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Apparently more than 5,000 hogs drowned in floods following hurricane Florence... On the bright side the McRib should be back soon.

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In the wake of Hurricane Florence, residents of North Carolina are returning home to deal with flood damage, mold, and apparently with the arrival of the President... Tiny mushrooms.

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I asked my Hindu friend whether he plans to evacuate for Hurricane Florence. He said, Na-ama-ste.

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Hurricane Florence White House advisor.......

"Mr Trump , Hurricane Florence is causing trouble."

President Trump.....

"Offer her the same deal as Stormy Daniels!"

Nicked from fb

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So the hurricane Florence has gone from a cat 5 to a cat 2 I guess you could say it was...

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overblown

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Before i married my wife she like a hurricane She was a 5 but now shes 2

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Something light in light of Hurricane Florence Q: What do corals get stressed about?
A: Current events

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What was the governor of North Carolina criticized for responding to Hurricane Florence so quickly? Because women don’t like premature evacuations

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Governor what your biggest fear about hurricane Florence hitting North Carolina? President Trump

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Humm If the hurricane picks up a car, what do you call it?

Florence and the Machine!

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A hurricane named Florence and no "Aunt Flo" jokes? Hope there's no red tide.

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What did the Romantic Hurricane say to the sheep covered volcano? Eye Lava Ewe

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Hurricane Bud is expected to pass over Mexico and cross the border into the United States. By the time it reaches us, it'll be Bud Lite.

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What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hang on to your nuts, This isn't your ordinary blow job.

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My high school’s football team literally never wins I propose we name every hurricane “Paschal High School” so that they will never touch down

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What do a hurricane in North Florida, a tornado in Oklahoma, and a divorce in East Texas have in common? Someone’s going to lose a mobile home

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Guys, you've been seeing Trump throwing paper towels at the hurricane affected Puerto Ricans the wrong way Clearly, he's a fill-n'-throw-pist.

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What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hang on to your nuts, this ain’t no regular blow job!

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What's the worst Halloween costume for this year? Hurricane Harvey Weinstein.

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What's the most inappropriate Halloween costume this year? Hurricane Harvey Weinstein

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What did one hurricane say to the other? I was very concerned my first grader was about to say "blow me" in the middle of a busy store, but "I've got my eye on you" was the answer.

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September: I had one of the worst hurricane months on record and Hugh Hefner died. October: Hold my beer

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Hurricane Nate is said to go straight North from The Gulf in to Alabama Experts say it will cause millions of dollars worth of improvement.

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Hurricane Irma took out my electricity. something about it just makes me feel powerless

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What do you call a hurricane whose had too much vodka? A Harvey Wallbanger

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Nobody's happier about hurricane Irma than Hillary Clinton and Al Gore It's the only reason their books are flying off the shelves in Florida.

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Why did Hurricane Irma miss Mar-a-Lago? Because as nice as it would have been for a woman to destroy trump's hotel, it'll be even more poetic if it's destroyed by Jose.

Should have built that sea wall afterall.

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Hurricanes ?... When is all this hurricane talk going to blow over?

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I heard that after Hurricane Irma, FEMA will run out of money. This is surprising since I thought they would have a rainy day fund.

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They made a mixed drink after Hurricane Sandy It's pretty much a watered down Manhattan

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Ex who lives in Florida called and asked if she and her kids could come North and stay with me until the hurricane passes.


I said "Well, your dog can."

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Hurricane Irma Right now Irma is signaling for a left turn.


But it's Florida so, you know, you can't really be sure whats going to happen.

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A reporter was interviewing Hurricane Irma. Reporter: "Now that you've been to the Bahamas and Puerto Rico, where are you headed next?"

Irma: "IM GOING TO DISNEY!!!"

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