Remember, If your apartment is hit by a dolphin, DO NOT GO OUT TO SEE IF THE DOLPHIN IS OKAY That's how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside.
Secretary walks into the President's room
Secretary: Mr.President, Hurricane Florence is causing trouble.
Trump: Offer her the same deal as Stormy Daniels.
I want to make a joke about hurricane Harvey But I am scared my inbox will be flooded
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? "Hold onto your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job."
My marriage was a like a hurricane. At the beginning there was a lot of blowing, but in the end I lost my house.
If your apartment is hit by a dolphin, DO NOT GO OUT TO SEE IF THE DOLPHIN IS OKAY. That's how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside.
It's too early for hurricane jokes wait for everything to blow over first.
What do a tornado, a hurricane, and a redneck divorce have in common? Somebody's gonna lose their trailer.
Why do hurricanes get lousy names, like Sandy? Name that thing Hurricane Death Megatron 900 and I guarantee folks will be evacuating like they need to.
What do Kim Kardashian and Hurricane Sandy have in common? They will both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV.
What do Hurricane Matthew and Kim Kardashian have in common? They'll both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV
What happens to a sailboat in a category 5 hurricane?
I'll ~~see~~ sea myself out...
Women are like hurricane... ...when they're coming, they are nice and wet. When they're leaving, they take cars, houses...
If your house it hit by a dolphin, DO NOT GO OUT AND SEE IF THE DOLPHIN IS OKAY. That's how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside.
Why are women like a Hurricane? They come at you all hot and wet and leave you without a house or car...
Why is a marriage like a hurricane? At the beginning there's a lot of blowing, and when it's over your house is gone...
HURRICANE SANDY UPDATE Mitt Romney has advised everyone in the path of Hurricane Sandy to make their way to their 2nd or 3rd homes immediately.
Where do squirrels go in a hurricane? All over the place!
Hurricane Ophelia just blew the roof off my cheese factory. There’s de Brie everywhere
What do a Florida hurricane, a Kansas tornado, and an Arkansas divorce have in common? Some poor sap's gonna lose a trailer.
What does a marriage and a hurricane have in common? In the beginning there is lots of sucking and blowing, and in the end you still loose your house
Have you heard of the new drink that they're calling the Hurricane Sandy?... Yeah.. apparently it's just a watered down Manhattan.
A hurricane is a lot like getting married... Starts with a lot of blowing, then you lose your house.
How is a hurricane like a marriage? At the beginning there's a lot of blowing and sucking, and when it's over your house is gone.
What does Hurricane Katrina and Kim Kardashian have in common? They have both swallowed hundreds of black kids :)
Astronauts release a photo of Hurricane Harvey... Astronauts released a photo of Hurricane Harvey as seen from the the International Space Station. They sent a short message along with the photograph; "Houston, you have a problem."
Women are like Hurricane Harvey When they come, they're wet and wild. When they leave, they take your car and your house.
This Hurricane should have been called Snooki... The're both heading to the Jersey Shore with plans to blow everyone in a 50 mile radius.
My wife is like a hurricane... At the beginning there was a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end I lost my house.
Trump is like Hurricane Matthew The media is talking about it nonstop. Nobody knows how bad it's going to be, but you can't help shake your head at the Floridan who ignores the warning.
I heard Irma swallowed a record amount of seamen That hurricane is terrifying
What's the worst Halloween costume for this year? Hurricane Harvey Weinstein.
What’s the best part about a hurricane party? You literally raise the roof
What's common between a woman and a hurricane?
When they come, they're wild and wet, and when they leave, they take the house and car with them.
If Hurricane Matthew is anything like me... It'll come before expected.
As Hurricane Irma approaches, we have to ask: Puerto Rico? More like Muerto Rico
What has thin orange skin, and knew that Alabama was not in the path of a hurricane? A peach
What was the hurricane's reaction when some joker tried to shorten his name to Matt? Hew hew hew.
The best way to prevent Hurricane Jose from reaching the US Is by building a wall along the boarder.
If this storm is named Dorian...
If this storm is named Dorian, what is it called a hurricane and not a himmacane instead?
Courtesy of my 60 year old dad so you know it's real
What do hurricane Dorian, and my impending divorce have in common? Someone is losing a trailer.
Soccer made easy for everyone
Why Harry Kane scores with great efficiency and reliability ?
Because he is a hurricane for the enemy defence .
Guys, you've been seeing Trump throwing paper towels at the hurricane affected Puerto Ricans the wrong way Clearly, he's a fill-n'-throw-pist.
Hurricane Irma took out my electricity. something about it just makes me feel powerless
Did you hear about the Florida teacher who stole the bottlenose dolphin from SeaWorld before Hurricane Matthew? She took it for educational porpoises.