What's the difference between a musician and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four
My pizza is burnt, my beer is frozen and my girlfriend is pregnant... ...I can’t pull anything out in time!
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?
He pasta way.
We cannoli do so much.
His legacy will be a pizza history.
Edit: Thank you for getting this on the front page!
Burnt my Hawaiian pizza today.. I should have cooked it at aloha temperature.
What do you call a pizza joint run by epileptic midgets? Little Seizure's
What do a pregnant woman, a burnt pizza and frozen beer have in common? A man who didn't take it out in time.
I burned my Hawaiian pizza today... I guess i should have put the oven on aloha setting
Walter White decided to buy a pizza for his son
Walter: Hey son I bought you a pizza so you can share it with your friends.
Flynn: Thanks dad, how much do I owe you?
Walter: It's on the house.
How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic? You take the pizza delivery sign off
My girlfriend burned our Hawaiian pizza today... I should have told her to put the oven on aloha setting.
I burnt 1200 calories yesterday! Forgot to take the pizza out of the oven...
I called my wife and told her that I'll pick up pizza and coke on the way back from work. But it seems she was not happy. She still regrets letting me name the kids.
Necrophilia is like pizza Even when it's cold it's still good.
What kind of eel hits your eye like a big pizza pie? That's a Moray.
I like my pizza like I like my women Absolutely no pubic hair.
My pizza is burnt, my beer is frozen and my girlfriend is pregnant. I can't take anything out in time.
What do you call a pizza place run by epileptic midgets? Little seizures.
My pizza is burnt, my beer is frozen, and my girlfriend is pregnant. It seems I can't take anything out on time.
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza today Should have cooked it on aloha teperature
What do you call a pizza with just peppers on it? A pepperonly pizza!
Did you hear Mike Tyson was just arrested for nearly beating a Pizza Hut waitress to death? As he was finishing eating, she asked "Hey, mister, you wanna box for the rest of your pizza?
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza today.. Shoulda cooked it on aloha temperature
My Local Pizza Place Just Folded Now they serve Calzones.
What do a pizza delivery driver and a gynecologist have in common? They both get close enough to smell the goods but if they eat it they'll be in trouble.
What do a pizza delivery boy and a gynecologist have in common? Always have to smell it, never get to eat it.
You order one pizza
You love it.
Next time you order a pizza and a garlic bread.
Before you know it, your eating pizzas for every meal, and you get withdrawal symptoms if you don't get one.
That's the domino effect.
What's Hillary's favorite pizza place?
Edit: credit to Joe Biggs @rambobiggs
What do a gynocologist and a pizza boy have in common? They can smell it but they cant eat it!
How is a gynecologist like a pizza delivery boy? They both get close enough to smell it, but if they eat it, they'll be fired.
The volume of a pizza with thickness a and radius z is pi * z * z * a
Why is a pizza delivery guy like a gynecologist?
They're allowed to smell it, but they get in trouble if they eat it.
How to get a liberal arts graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza
What does a Mexican cut his pizza with? Little Caesars
What's the difference between a pizza and a pizza joke?
Pizza jokes can't be topped!
A man orders a pizza A man orders a pizza. The waiter asks him: "Do you want your pizza cut in six or eight Pieces?" The man replies: "Six, i dont think i can eat eight"
What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery driver have in common? They can smell it but they can’t eat it.
Did you hear about the chef that died?
He pasta way.
We cannoli do so much.
His legacy will become a pizza history.
Burnt my Hawaiian pizza today Should have cooked it on aloha temperature
Why are pizza makers always poor? Because they knead dough to make a living.
What did the retired priest call his pizza shop? Cheesus Crust
How do you get the best drummer in Nashville off your porch? Pay him for the pizza
How do you get a bass player off your porch? Pay for the pizza
I saw a man cutting a pizza with a smart phone I know it's cutting edge technology but jeez
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza the other night I should have put it on aloha temperature
Why do restaurants put pizza in square boxes? Because they don't cut corners.
Schrodinger's Pizza You don't know until you get it whether its delivery, or Digiorno's
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night I should have put it on aloha heat!
How did a hipster burn his mouth? He ate pizza before it was cool.
A man tried to start a fight by throwing dough, shredded cheese, and tomato sauce at me. So I said, “You wanna pizza me?”
What’s the best way to burn 1,000 calories? Leave the pizza in the oven.
What does an gynocologist and a pizza delivery driver have in common? They can both smell it but can't taste it.
My wife said if I don't lose weight then she'll file for a divorce. Who wants to come over for a pizza tonight?
What's the difference between a pizza and a musician? A pizza can feed a family of four.
The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop and
Asks if they can make him , one with everything
(Not mine found it on YouTube)
If pizza could talk what would it say? Probably lots of cheesy things.
It takes more effort to order a pizza than have a child Have you ever ordered a pizza by accident?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that’s amore When you suddenly squeal cuz you stepped on an eel that’s a moray!
Why is 2020 pizza delivery like my ex-girlfriend? They both do no-contact orders!
I burnt 800 calories this morning Forgot the pizza in the oven.
How do you get a Bitcoin technical analyst off your front porch? Pay for the pizza
If you can’t decide on what kind of pizza to get, you’re indeSLICEsive.
What's the difference between a pizza and a bass player? Pizza can feed family of four.
Whats`s the similarity between a gynecologist and a pizza delivery? They can smell it, but are not allowed to eat..
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza the other day.. I should have cooked it on aloha temperature
What's the difference between an artist and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family.
A man walks in to a new pizza joint set up by Buddhist monks.. "Hi, could you make me one with everything?"
I like my women the same way I like my pizza rolls 45 at a time.
What's the difference between police officers and pizza delivery drivers? Pizza delivery drivers actually face consequences when their jobs aren't done right.
What do a pizza delivery guy and a gynaecologist have in common? They both get to smell it but don’t get to eat it...
Wood fired pizza How’s pizza gonna get a job now?
I just burnt myself making Hawaiian pizza I should have put it on Aloha Temperature.
What did the pizza maker say before robbing a bank? "I may love making pizza, but I still knead the dough."
The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza parlor... He says, "Make me one with everything."
A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
My friend was sad that his illness relapsed again, so I brought him a pizza I’m wondering now if the uncured pepperoni was insensitive
When a physician was asked if his new diet of pizza and crepes for COVID-19 patients was working He said, "I don't know, but that's the only food we can get under the door."
How is a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery guy the same? They can smell it, but they can’t eat it.
What's the difference between a cop and a pizza guy? The pizza guy faces consequences when his job is done wrong.
What's the difference between a slice of pizza and a hippie? You don't have to take the crust off of a slice of pizza before you eat it.
I like how my local pizza place cuts my pizza into 6 slices instead of 8 I can't finish 8 slices
What's the difference between an English Major and a Pizza? A pizza can feed a family of 4.
Q: Have you heard about the pizza joke?
A: You know what, I wont tell it, it's to cheesy
What part of a pizza and a woman do you not eat? The crust
A doctor speaks to his patient
Doctor: Your BMI is quite high.
Patient: What should I do?
Doctor: Don't eat anything fatty
Patient: So I should give up pizza and chips?
Doctor: No, fatty. Just don't eat anything!
What do you call it when pizza gives you the runs? Pizzeria.
Why did Jabba win the pizza contest? Because no one outpizzas the Hutt.
Two fossils are hanging out and eating at a bar
Fossil one: Man this is the best pizza I've ever had.
Fossil two: It looks so amazing! How good is it?
Fossile one: Here, just Trilobyte!
I'm done with dating sites I'm only dating pizza delivery guys because at least I know they have a car, a job and, pizza
Henry orders pizza
Henry orders a whole pizza
Waiter: How many pizza slices? 6 or 8 slices?
Henry: Just 6! I might not be able to finish 8 slices.
A man has been found dead at the pizza parlour
He was covered in ham, pineapple, onions, mushrooms, bell pepper, ground beef, pepperoni and four cheeses.
Police are saying he topped himself.
The Dalai Lama goes to a pizza shop And asks the chef to make him one with everything
What does a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist have in common? Both have to smell it; neither get to eat it
Chicago style pizza changes you
I use to like New York style pizza
Till I tasted Chicago style pizza
Now, I love New York style pizza
A Buddhist Monk walks into a pizza shack. He says, “make me one with everything .”
Wood fired pizza How will pizza get a job now?
Everytime a pizza man has come to the door they've noticed the smell of the last pizza man and thus I've had to kill them. An unfortunate Domino effect.
My day has been terrible.
Friend: What's wrong?
Me: My beer is frozen, my pizza is burnt, and my girlfriend is pregnant.
Friend: You can't pull anything out on time, can you?
A mummified macaroni pizza was uncovered in Italy today. The man who uncovered it says "It's a pizza of our pasta."
What's the difference between a musician and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four
What does a pizza delivery driver have in common with a gynecologist? Both smell their work but neither get to eat it.