Pizza Jokes


Funniest Pizza Jokes

How do you get an art major off your front porch? Pay for the pizza!

Score: 10515
Funny Pizza Jokes
Score: 7149

My pizza is burnt, my beer is frozen and my girlfriend is pregnant... ...I can’t pull anything out in time!

Score: 5767

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked pizza. Then I made tacos because they don't live in a swing state.

Score: 3101

How does a Mexican cut a pizza? With *little* *caesars*

Score: 1977

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.
We cannoli do so much.
His legacy will be a pizza history.

Edit: Thank you for getting this on the front page!

Score: 1636

What do Mexicans use to cut their pizza? Little Caesars.

...I'll see myself out.

Score: 1111

What's the hardest part of making a vegan pizza? Skinning the vegan.

Score: 993

Burnt my Hawaiian pizza today.. I should have cooked it at aloha temperature.

Score: 869

What do you call a pizza joint run by epileptic midgets? Little Seizure's

Score: 866

What do a pregnant woman, a burnt pizza and frozen beer have in common? A man who didn't take it out in time.

Score: 778

I burned my Hawaiian pizza today... I guess i should have put the oven on aloha setting

Score: 767

Walter White decided to buy a pizza for his son Walter: Hey son I bought you a pizza so you can share it with your friends.

Flynn: Thanks dad, how much do I owe you?

Walter: It's on the house.

Score: 707

What does a burnt pizza, a frozen beer and a pregnant girlfriend have in common? One dumbass who never pulls out in time

Score: 686

How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic? You take the pizza delivery sign off

Score: 640

My girlfriend burned our Hawaiian pizza today... I should have told her to put the oven on aloha setting.

Score: 557

What do Mexicans use to cut a pizza? Little Caesar's

Score: 550

I burnt 1200 calories yesterday! Forgot to take the pizza out of the oven...

Score: 512

Necrophilia is like pizza Even when it's cold it's still good.

Score: 484

What kind of eel hits your eye like a big pizza pie? That's a Moray.

Score: 432

I like my pizza like I like my women Absolutely no pubic hair.

Score: 366

My pizza is burnt, my beer is frozen and my girlfriend is pregnant. I can't take anything out in time.

Score: 362

My pizza is burnt, my beer is frozen, and my girlfriend is pregnant. It seems I can't take anything out on time.

Score: 328

I burnt my Hawaiian pizza today Should have cooked it on aloha teperature

Score: 311

What do you call a pizza with just peppers on it? A pepperonly pizza!

Score: 298

What does a burnt pizza, a pregnant woman and a frozen beer all have in common? You left it in too long.

Score: 297

Today, a friend of mine had to go to the hospital because he ate a pizza. *My* pizza.

Score: 293

Did you hear Mike Tyson was just arrested for nearly beating a Pizza Hut waitress to death? As he was finishing eating, she asked "Hey, mister, you wanna box for the rest of your pizza?

Score: 288

Burned my Hawaiian pizza... Should have put it on aloha temperature.

Score: 279

I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven I guess I should have put it on aloha setting

Score: 261

What do burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant chick have in common? Some douchebag forgot to pull it out in time.

Score: 57

I want to open i pizza place called Original Pizza, so that way if anybody asks if we deliver... yes, OP delivers.

Score: 41

Pizza Joke If you slice up a large pizza, that's no big deal.

But if you slice up a medium, you can get jail time.

And she should have seen it coming.

Score: 19

A pizza shop owner was found dead covered in pepporoni, mushrooms, ham and pineapple. Word is...he topped himself.

Score: 18

What do a pregnant woman, a burned pizza and a frozen beer have in common? In all three cases somebody took it out TOO LATE

Score: 14

How did the hipster burn his tongue? He ate his pizza before it was cool

Score: 11

The radius of your pizza is 'z' inch(s) , and the height of it is 'a' inch(s). Please find the volume of your pizza. Pizza.

Score: 10

What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

Score: 10

I burned my Hawaiian Pizza in the oven today I guess I should've cooked it on Aloha temperature

Score: 8

What the difference between a pizza and a tinder hookup? You slice up the pizza before you enjoy it, not after.

Score: 8

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New Pizza Jokes

If a take and bake pizza can go wrong, it will. Papa Murphy's law.

Score: 4

A man walks in to a new pizza joint set up by Buddhist monks.. "Hi, could you make me one with everything?"

Score: 3

Last night I burnt my Hawaiian Pizza. Last night I burnt my Hawaiian Pizza.

I should have used a Aloha setting.

Score: 0

How about instead of political parties... ...we have pizza parties

Score: 0

My friend was sad that his illness relapsed again, so I brought him a pizza I’m wondering now if the uncured pepperoni was insensitive

Score: 0

How is a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery guy the same? They can smell it, but they can’t eat it.

Score: 0

A man walked into a library and said “ can I have a pizza please” The librarian said “ this is a library”

The man apologised and replied(in a whisper)
“Can I have a pizza please”

Score: 2

How do you get an Art Major off your front door step? Pay for the PIZZA!

Score: 3

Everybody said it would be impossible to make a dessert pizza. It turned out to be a pizza cake.

Score: 7

What do you call a pizza place for epileptics? Little Seizures

Score: 5

What did the monk say to the pizza clerk? Make me one with everything

Score: 6

Someone at Walmart asked if I wanted to donate a dollar to fight hunger But I was already buying pizza rolls!

Score: 4

A Buddhist walks into a buddhist pizza shop, He walks in and says "make me One With Everything"

When the pizza is ready he picks it up and says "What about my change?" The Buddist Pizza Shop owner replies, "Change Comes From Within"

Score: 4

What's the difference between Pizza Hut and North Korea Pizza Hut can deliver a Hawaiian on time

Score: 3

What do a pizza a delivery guy and a gynecologist have in common? They can both sniff it but they can't eat it.

Score: 5

Whats the difference between a dutch prostitute and a pizza? You can remove the fungus from the pizza if you want to.

Score: 1

How do you ask for pizza in italian? Pasta pizza

Score: 4

Today I took a pizza on the bus... The bus driver said outraged: "My bus isn't some kind of restaurant." I then told him: " That's exactly why I brought my own food."

Score: 4

What do poor people and pizza cooks have in common? They both need the dough.

Score: 3

How many times does an insane person have to tell a joke before someone understands it? Square, because the pizza already has jellybeans.

Score: 2

What does a waitress do when she finds a cold pizza that was forgotten to be served? Serve it to a hipster.

Score: 1

The Dali Lama walks into a local pizza shop and asks... ... can you make me one with everything?

Score: 0

I like my women like a Little Cesar's pizza Hot and ready

Score: 2

Why were the twin towers disappointed with their pizza? Because they ordered pepperoni but all they got was plane.

Score: 3

What's the difference between dead babies and pineapples? I wouldn't dare put pineapple on my pizza.

Score: 5

What pizza chain do people with epilepsy like the least? Little seizures

Score: 4

The pizza guy's salutation of "You guys have a good night!" As if I'm not eating this whole za alone.

Score: 2

What's the difference between a classical musician and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of five.

Score: 6

What is Jared Fogle's favorite item on the prison food menu? Cheese pizza

Score: 3

What does the Dalai Lama order from the pizza shop? One with everything

Score: 4

I was gonna tell a joke about a pizza but it was way too cheesy!

Score: 2

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