Dating is a lot like fishing... Sure there is plenty of fish in the sea, but until I catch one, I am just stuck here holding my rod.
What do you call a Polish fisherman? A fishing pole.
Finding a girlfriend is a lot like fishing... There are plenty of fish in the sea, but it's just you holding your rod until you catch one.
Why do Americans take a gun while they go fishing ? Cause groups of fish are called schools
I went fishing with Skrillex once It didn't end well, he kept dropping the bass
Why do Americans go fishing with guns? Because a group of fish is called a school.
Why do you always invite at least two mormons to go out fishing with you? If you invite only one, you'll have to share your beer.
How many Mormons do you take fishing with you?
If you only take one, he'll drink all your beer.
A father and son go fishing...
Son: Dad, what do we do first?
Father: We get this clickbait here and we throw it into the ocean.
Son: Then what happens?
Father: What happens next will shock you.
Why should you always take two Mormon's fishing? Cause if you take one, he'll drink all your beer
So, I was fishing, and I saw a shooting star! The reel jokes are in the comets.
A father takes his son fishing
Son: Dad, can you teach me how to catch fish?
Dad: Sure, son! first you throw the clickbait into the water
Son: What next?
Dad: What happens next will shock you!
My wife said to me the other day "For the last time I am on my period and I am NOT getting into the water to swim!" She totally ruined my shark fishing trip.
Give a Nigerian a fish and he'll eat for the day.
Teach a Nigerian to phish, and he'll immediately turn into a prince and start emailing people.
My wife is an angel.
Bob and Harry are fishing one day....
Bob.... "How's your wife been?"
Harry...."She's an angel, how about yours?"
Bob...."Egh, mine is still alive."
How do you keep a Baptist from drinking all your beer on a fishing trip? Invite two of them.
Why do you always need to take 2 baptists on a fishing trip instead of one? If you take one, he'll drink all of your beer, If you take 2 neither will drink a drop
Fishing There is a fine line between fishing, and just standing on the shore looking like an idiot
A cop pulls a driver over for speeding
The driver says, "C'mon, everyone on the road was breaking the speed limit."
The cop nods and says, "Tell me, have you ever been fishing?"
"Yeah... What's that got to do with it?"
"Did you catch *all* the fish?"
What do russians use for fishing? A fishing nyet
Why do priests love to go fishing with kids? So they have someone to hold their rod.
Did you hear about the 6 guys and the woman that went fishing? The guys didn't catch anything, but the woman came home with a red snapper.
Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish... and he'll be fined for fishing without a license.
Fishing and girlfriends are a lot alike There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until I find one, I’m stuck here holding my rod.
What do you call a polish guy on a boat? A fishing pole
Why can't you go fishing with Skrillex? Because he always drops the bass.
Why are DJ's so bad at fishing? Because they're always dropping the Bass.
Why was the fishing show so successful? They had a great cast
I once told a fishing pun The cringe was reel
Why should you always take two Baptists fishing? If you take just one Baptist, he'll drink all your beer; if you take two, they won't drink any.
Teach a man to fish and he will have food for a lifetime. Teach a feminist to fish and she will complain about how fishing is male-dominated.
How do you keep your Baptist friend from drinking all your beer on the fishing trip You bring a second baptist.
What makes a fishing story interesting? A good hook.
How do you get a Mormon to not drink all of your beer on a fishing trip? Bring two Mormons.
I went fishing and caught a bass, a catfish and a hammerfer.
What's a hammerfer? Fer driving nails.
My 8year old friend thinks this is the greatest joke, I thought so too when I was his age.
What do you get if you mix plutonium with a fishing rod? Nuclear fission
What's a pelican's favorite sport? *fly* fishing!
Why are Teen aged boys so good at fishing? Because they're Master Baiters.
How did Pythagoras win a Fishing Competition? He was a Good Angler.
Why did the fisherman go fishing on his day off Just for the Halibut
I always considered fishing to be boring. But then I got hooked.
Just finished watching the world fishing championships. It was reel-y good.
What do you call it when comedians go fishing and then submit their catches for a "biggest fish" prize? Marlon weigh-ins
Went fishing with before with a mate. Neither of us had been before. He was terrible but I was hooked!
Cain and Abel were fishing when Abel suddenly threw his fishing rod into the lake and said to Cain: "Cain you get it for me? :D" Cain then killed Abel and said nothing because puns are terrible.
I was planning on going fishing but forgot some of my gear. It was an unreel situation.
What did the plank say to his father while they were on their fishing trip? Dad, I'm board.
What's the job of a fish with a daughter? To keep her off the fishing pool
I discovered a new breed at the local fishing hole A redneckbeard
Why did the expert angler get arrested at the fishing competition? He was a public master baiter.
If you take a Baptist fishing, they will drink all your beer. But, if you take two Baptists fishing you will have all the beer to yourself.
Two men are in the desert and they see a third man fishing.
The first man says to the other: “Look at that idiot fishing in the desert.”
The second man replies: “That’s none of our business, just keep rowing.”
I met a girl when I was ice fishing I couldn’t get through to her at first, but then I broke the ice
Went ice fishing yesterday. Caught over a hundred pounds... Unfortunately most of it melted by the time I got home.
My girlfriend fell off a fishing boat just off the coast of Maine and was devoured by a giant shellfish. You might say a New England clam chowed her.
Never take just one Baptist fishing with you If you only bring one then he’ll drink all your beer
A blind man walks into a fishing district He says, “Hey Ladies.”
Why was the fishing show so unsuccessful? They had a terrible cast
Me and my dad went fishing... when he caught a small shark, he called it his dadliest catch.
Mama always said Fishing is like a Hooker... You never know what you're gonna catch.
I went fishing yesterday with this girl I recently met. I'm not yet sure if I caught anything.
If you take a Baptist fishing, he'll drink all your beer Take two Baptists fishing and you'll have all the beer to yourself
Fishing saved me from being a pornstar Now I'm just a hooker!
I asked a bass what he thought fishing... He said, "I didn't like at first, but now I'm Hooked!"
Did you hear about the girl who went fishing with three guys? She came home with a big red snapper.
I went fishing recently and caught a 20lb sea bass. I tried to mount it But I was arrested for indecent exposure.
Why should you bring two Muslims with you when you go fishing? Because if you only bring one, he'll drink all your beer.
Teach a man to fish . . . And you lose a potential laborer so poison the local lakes and make fishing without a license a punishable offense in order to keep humankind in a perpetual state of dependency on your capitalistic expansion.
What did the father say when fishing with his kid? With him as a bait, i might catch something good.
I tried to make a joke about fishing equipment. But the reel joke was in the comments.
Why was the musician bad at fishing? Because he didn't know how to tuna fish
I used to be very disinterested in fishing... But now I am Hooked!
I feel like fishing jokes on this sub are always missing something. It might be because the reel jokes are in the comments.
Three men are out fishing
They each have a pack of cigarettes but no lighter.
Not knowing what to do but really wanting to smoke, they think until they get an idea.
They threw a cigarette out of the boat and make it a cigarette lighter.
A man went ice fishing one day and reeled-in a giant ice cube After months of only catching fish, he finally caught a cold.
What did they originally call pro fishing before they realized how bad it sounded? Answer: Master-baiting
I'm not good at fishing for compliments All I get is trout.
I went fishing with Skrillex once. We had to go home early though, he kept dropping the bass.
Why do you always take 2 Mormons when you go on a fishing trip? Because, if you only take one he will drink all your beer.
Why wasn't Skrillex allowed on the fishing trip? He keeps dropping the bass
Sir, you cannot fish here!
“Sir, you cannot fish here!”
“Don’t worry, I’m not fishing, I’m just teaching my worm to swim.”
fishing is like girls Neither care about size when they're sleeping
Did you hear about the girl who went fishing with four captains? She came back with a Red Snapper.
Why was the EDM producer bad at fishing? Because he kept dropping the bass
One of these days, I'm going to go fishing for complements. I hope I catch some peanut butter and jelly.
What do you call a fishing prostitute A Hooker