Dating is a lot like fishing... Sure there is plenty of fish in the sea, but until I catch one, I am just stuck here holding my rod.
What do you call a Polish fisherman? A fishing pole.
Finding a girlfriend is a lot like fishing... There are plenty of fish in the sea, but it's just you holding your rod until you catch one.
Why do Americans take a gun while they go fishing ? Cause groups of fish are called schools
I went fishing with Skrillex once It didn't end well, he kept dropping the bass
Why do Americans go fishing with guns? Because a group of fish is called a school.
Why do you always invite at least two mormons to go out fishing with you? If you invite only one, you'll have to share your beer.
How many Mormons do you take fishing with you?
If you only take one, he'll drink all your beer.
A father and son go fishing...
Son: Dad, what do we do first?
Father: We get this clickbait here and we throw it into the ocean.
Son: Then what happens?
Father: What happens next will shock you.
Why should you always take two Mormon's fishing? Cause if you take one, he'll drink all your beer
So, I was fishing, and I saw a shooting star! The reel jokes are in the comets.
A father takes his son fishing
Son: Dad, can you teach me how to catch fish?
Dad: Sure, son! first you throw the clickbait into the water
Son: What next?
Dad: What happens next will shock you!
My wife said to me the other day "For the last time I am on my period and I am NOT getting into the water to swim!" She totally ruined my shark fishing trip.
Give a Nigerian a fish and he'll eat for the day.
Teach a Nigerian to phish, and he'll immediately turn into a prince and start emailing people.
My wife is an angel.
Bob and Harry are fishing one day....
Bob.... "How's your wife been?"
Harry...."She's an angel, how about yours?"
Bob...."Egh, mine is still alive."
How do you keep a Baptist from drinking all your beer on a fishing trip? Invite two of them.
Why do you always need to take 2 baptists on a fishing trip instead of one? If you take one, he'll drink all of your beer, If you take 2 neither will drink a drop
Fishing There is a fine line between fishing, and just standing on the shore looking like an idiot
A cop pulls a driver over for speeding
The driver says, "C'mon, everyone on the road was breaking the speed limit."
The cop nods and says, "Tell me, have you ever been fishing?"
"Yeah... What's that got to do with it?"
"Did you catch *all* the fish?"
What do russians use for fishing? A fishing nyet
Why do priests love to go fishing with kids? So they have someone to hold their rod.
Did you hear about the 6 guys and the woman that went fishing? The guys didn't catch anything, but the woman came home with a red snapper.
Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish... and he'll be fined for fishing without a license.
Fishing and girlfriends are a lot alike There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until I find one, I’m stuck here holding my rod.
What do you call a polish guy on a boat? A fishing pole
Why can't you go fishing with Skrillex? Because he always drops the bass.
Why are DJ's so bad at fishing? Because they're always dropping the Bass.
Why was the fishing show so successful? They had a great cast
I once told a fishing pun The cringe was reel
Did you hear about the girl that went fishing with the three guys? She came back with a red snapper.
What makes a fishing story interesting? A good hook.
How many Mormons do you take fishing with you? Two, because if you take just one he will drink all the beer.
I was out fishing on the lake with my dad yesterday. When we were ready to call it a day my dad goes to start up the motor and it doesn't work.
Dad: "Looks like we're gonna have to row back to the bank. Pass me one of those paddles."
Me: "Which one?"
Dad: "Either oar."
Two men are in the desert and they see a third man fishing.
The first man says to the other: “Look at that idiot fishing in the desert.”
The second man replies: “That’s none of our business, just keep rowing.”
I asked a bass what he thought fishing... He said, "I didn't like at first, but now I'm Hooked!"
3 nicotine addicts are out fishing in a boat. They have 4 cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So they throw one cig overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
Why did the expert angler get arrested at the fishing competition? He was a public master baiter.
What did the plank say to his father while they were on their fishing trip? Dad, I'm board.
Went ice fishing yesterday. Caught over a hundred pounds... Unfortunately most of it melted by the time I got home.
If I make an app for fly fishing Is that consider a streaming app?
Just finished watching the world fishing championships. It was reel-y good.
What do you call it when comedians go fishing and then submit their catches for a "biggest fish" prize? Marlon weigh-ins
Went fishing with before with a mate. Neither of us had been before. He was terrible but I was hooked!
Cain and Abel were fishing when Abel suddenly threw his fishing rod into the lake and said to Cain: "Cain you get it for me? :D" Cain then killed Abel and said nothing because puns are terrible.
I was planning on going fishing but forgot some of my gear. It was an unreel situation.
What's the job of a fish with a daughter? To keep her off the fishing pool
I discovered a new breed at the local fishing hole A redneckbeard
You could join an angling company that pays 10k a day
but, it seems kind of fishy and theres a catch to it
(btw angling is a synonym of fishing
If you take a Baptist fishing, they will drink all your beer. But, if you take two Baptists fishing you will have all the beer to yourself.
Did you hear about the fishing musem? I hear there reeling in there customers
What is a teenager favorite type of fishing bait? Master Bait
Never take just one Baptist fishing with you If you only bring one then he’ll drink all your beer
If Louis CK cant go back to comedy he could always pick up fishing. Rumor has it he's a master baiter.
A man went ice fishing one day and reeled-in a giant ice cube After months of only catching fish, he finally caught a cold.