Biology Jokes

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Funniest Biology Jokes

Funny Biology Jokes

My biology teacher grew human vocal chords from stem cells in the lab, the results... ... speak for themselves

I failed my biology test today. Apparently, "black guys" isn't the answer to the question "What is found in cells."

I took my biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently Blacks and Mexicans was NOT the correct answer.

I failed a biology test today, they had asked me what was commonly found in cells Apparently black people was not the answer.

In biology class my teacher asked "What is most commonly found in cells?" Apparently "black people" was not the right answer

I missed a question on my biology exam today. The question was "what are commonly found in cells?" I guess "black people" wasn't the right answer.

So I took a biology test the other day... One of the questions was, "name two things commonly found in cells."

Apparently, young blacks and latinos was not the right answer.

I made a DNA joke in my biology class but no one laughed. Guess my thymine was off.

my 14 year old came back with this after his biology class Q. who was the Jewish prophet that led the water molecules across the partially permeable membrane?
A. osmoses

I was asked on a biology test "what is most commonly found in cells" Black people was the wrong answer...

I failed my AP Biology test... They asked; "what is something commonly found in cells?"

Apparently black people wasn't the correct answer

I took my Biology exam last Friday I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.

A frog telephones a psychic hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

"Great," says the frog, "Will I meet her at a party?"

"No," said the psychic, "Next year - in biology class."

I failed my biology test today. The question was: "What is commonly found in cells?"

Apparently, "African Americans" wasn't the correct answer.

My biology teacher asked me what was the ugliest vegetable IMO. Apparently, Stephen Hawking was the wrong answer.

My biology professor's favorite joke What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?


You can't hear an enzyme!

Today I Failed my Biology Test. One of the questions asked. “What are normally found inside cells?”

Apparently, ‘Black People’ was not the correct answer.

Why was the physics teacher and the biology teacher always fighting? They didn't have any chemistry.

Biology Joke Biology teacher:
Can anyone name a disease?

Student:
I can sir.

Teacher:
Well done. Whose next?

Biology Joke When a plant is sad, what do other plants do?

Photosympathize

A male frog goes to a psychic. The psychic tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

The frog becomes excited, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?"

"No," says the psychic, "in her biology class."

The science teacher was discussing insects in her biology class. She said, "Moths always fly with their legs apart. Can anybody tell me why?"
The quick witted retort came flying back "Well miss have you seen the size of moth balls?"

Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? BECAUSE There was no chemistry.
LOL

I failed my biology test today. There was a question that asked, "What is commonly found in cells?" I guess my teacher didn't think "black people" was a good answer.

In their biology class, students are given an activity that introduces them to relative dating... One Student: "Relative Dating? This isn't Alabama!"

The biology teacher asks Johnny if he can describe what a specimen is? Sure teach, a specimen is an Italian astronaut!

My biology teacher said there is no evolutionary advantage to blue eyes. She must have never heard of the holocaust.

I failed my Biology test yesterday I was asked to name a parasite currently living in Britain.

Apparently 'Muslims' isn't the correct answer.

FROG'S DREAM GIRL A frog goes to a fortune teller and asks if he is going meet a young girl.
The psychic tells him, "Yes, you are."
The frog replies, "Where? In a bar or at a party?"
The psychic says, "In biology class."

In biology they ask us what we find in cells Apparently black people wasn't the right answer.

I'll see myself out.

A frog calls a psychic... His personal psychic tells him that he is going to meet a beautiful girl who will want to know everything about him.

The frog says, “This is great! Will I meet her at a party?”

The psychic says, “No, biology class”

Crappy biology bar joke A few cells enter a bar. They sit in a corner and talk amongst themselves, drink moderately and don't pick up a fight with anyone. They leave the bar quietly.




Because they were cultured cells..

How do you pass a biology test on excretion? Process of elimination.

Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.

Frog's Dream Girl A small frog goes to a fortune teller and asks if he is going meet a young girl.

The psychic says, "Yes, you are."

The frog replies, "Where? In a bar or at a party?"

The psychic says, "In biology class."

My Biology Teacher Asked What ATP is... I replied, "where Native Americans live."

Request: biology jokes Hey guys I need some jokes for my biology class to liven things up a bit so gimme your best. ( pick-up lines and puns also acceptable)

Little Ahmed is doing his biology homework. He comes upon a question: "What separates the head from the body?"

Ahmed answers: "The axe"

so that's the reason Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher?

There was no chemistry.

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New Biology Jokes

I once lied in biology class and told everyone I could touch the tiny hairs in my nose - They all laughed. I'd never felt cilia.

The relationship between the Physics teacher and biology teacher in my brother's school didn't last long... They had no chemistry et. al.

Why can't a physics teacher date a biology teacher? Cause there's no chemistry.

Biology Test Biology Teacher : Everybody draw female reproductive organ.

*One girl felt shy and looked down*


A boy shouted : Mam, she's copying.

Trump recommends taking chloroquine phosphate. Anyone who listens will be given a posthumous degree in biology from Trump University and a guarantee the Coronavirus will not kill them.

A kid talks to his dad about coronavirus Kid: "Dad, why is coronavirus infecting so many people?"

Dad: *explains the biology of a virus and how it affects the immune system*

Kid: "Dad, I don't get it..."

Dad: "Don't worry son, you'll get it soon enough."

So We were learning about cell division in biology class today. I ended up stubbing my toe somehow and i had to go home because it hurt so bad.
When my sister asked what hurt, i said “mitosis.”

Today in biology class we got an extra lesson about the corona virus You could say it was a corona extra

Two guys were sitting in a library One guy tells the other,"Hey bro, can you pass me the biology book?". Hearing this, the librarian hushed him and said,"Be silent!". Hearing this, this guy repeats the question,"Hey ro, can you pass me the iology ook?".

What was Hitler's favourite part of the biology practical? Completing the final solution

Why dont the biology and physics teacher get together? Because they have no chemistry

Everyday biology pun What do you get when you mix picture day with writing a biology essay?

​

photos-and-thesis

What would a funny biology teacher say to a class full of homosexuals? You're algae and I'm a fungi.

Biology makes me feel alive. Get it? Got it? Good.

I got kicked out of biology class today for eating during the lesson... Apparently it's called an "Eye disection" not "Eye digestion"

Im failing Marine Biology but I think I should still pass. My grade is below C level.

Why did the biology teacher and rhe physics teacher break up? Because they had no CHEMISTRY.

What do you call it when your Biology grade is close to an F? Biodegraded

Reed Richards posses a mastery of mechanical, aerospace, electrical engineering, chemistry and biology But we all know why he's called Mr. Fantastick.

My Biology teacher told me ants are female The males are called uncles

You hear about the kid that threw his biology test in the trash, yet still managed to pass? Turns out, it was bio-D-gradable.

Paige finishes writing her biology dissertation and hands it in to the lecturer the following day. He quickly flicks through it and realises something is missing.

"Where's your appendix page?"

"Easy", she says, and points to her lower abdomen.

So I failed my biology test today The question was what is commonly found in cells. Apparently the correct answer wasn't black people.

I got an F in Biology Class Next time I see my teacher I’m gonna punch her in the balls!

My biology teacher tells me that I need to focus more in lessons. They say I always ask off topic questions. But I'm just interested, that's all.

Science is interesting. Apparently there is a species of fish called "irrelevant".

A biology teacher runs into a bank holding a flower. He says "Everybody on the ground, I have a pistil!"

Why physics teacher break up with biology teacher? There was no chemistry

My friend is an expert in Finance and Marine Biology Which makes borrowing money from him a problem, since he's a real Loan Shark.

My father teaches biology and Spanish.. Him: Ok, who can tell me what these are?

Me: (Raises hand) Soy Beans!

Him: Much gusto, Beans! Me llamo Dad.

If you don't know how to answer a question on a flower biology test... You can always guess the anther

Biology is the only science in which multiplication is the same thing as division. Multiplication in biology means reproduction, which is microscopically accomplished by cell division.

Signing up for Marine biology this semester was disappointing. I never learned what’s going on in Le Pen’s head.

What class does Tumblr hate the most? Biology ?

So I was telling my dad That the entire team that worked on finding Nemo had to take fish biology 101. Then he says "so does it ever bother you that the fish are talking?"

That was the hardest I laughed in a while

I asked my Biology professor if he had any patients. He didn't seem too thrilled with me after that...

What's the phylum of a Shaolin Monk? kungfuphyta.
...

whoo ex-high school biology jokes.

My biology teacher flunked me when she asked me what is commonly found in cells. Apparently, black people wasn't the answer she was looking for.

I failed my biology test today A question asked, "What is commonly found in cells?"

Apparently "black people" wasn't the right answer

I failed my biology exam yesterday The question was: Name something commonly found in cells. Apparently, Niggers wasn't the right answer.

I kept trying to think of puns about the eye during my biology lesson, when we dissected one. To be honest, they kept getting cornea and cornea....

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Long Biology Jokes

A frog goes to a fortune teller to find out if he will ever be lucky in love...

The fortune teller reads his palm and tells the frog, “I have good news and I have bad news. Which would you like to hear first?”

The frog asks for the good news first.

The fortune teller says, “You are going to meet the most beautiful girl, who is going to be very interested in you and will want to know all about you. She will want you to open up for her."

“Great!” says the frog. “What’s the bad news?”

“Well, you’re going to meet her in biology class."

My Biology Professor told me this one

When Gandhi was studying law at the University College of London, a white professor, whose last name was Peters, disliked him intensely and always displayed prejudice and animosity towards him.
Also, because Gandhi never lowered his head when addressing him , as he expected.... there were always "arguments" and confrontations.



One day, Mr. Peters was having lunch at the dining room of the University, and Gandhi came along with his tray and sat next to the professor. The professor said, "Mr Gandhi, you do not understand. A pig and a bird do not sit together to eat."
Gandhi looked at him as a parent would a rude child and calmly replied, "You do not worry professor. I'll fly away," and he went and sat at another table.

Mr. Peters, reddened with rage, decided to take revenge on the next test paper, but Gandhi responded brilliantly to all questions. Mr. Peters, unhappy and frustrated, asked him the following question. "Mr Gandhi, if you were walking down the street and found a package, and within was a bag of wisdom and another bag with a lot of money, which one would you take?"



Without hesitating, Gandhi responded, "The one with the money, of course."



Mr. Peters , smiling sarcastically said, "I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom, don't you think?"

Gandhi shrugged indifferently and responded, "Each one takes what he doesn't have."

Mr. Peters, by this time was fit to be tied. So great was his anger that he wrote on Gandhi's exam sheet the word "idiot" and gave it to Gandhi. Gandhi took the exam sheet and sat down at his desk trying very hard to remain calm while he contemplated his next move.



A few minutes later, Gandhi got up, went to the professor and said to him in a dignified but sarcastically polite tone, "Mr. Peters, you signed the sheet, but you did not give me the grade."

A depressed frog goes to visit a fortune teller

Hoping for good news he goes to meet with a fortune teller.

The fortune teller closes her eyes, makes some strange sounds, and finally says, "You will meet a beautiful young girl that will want to know everything about you"

The frog gets excited and says, "Wow! When will I meet her? At a party?"

"No," replied the fortune teller, "in her biology class."

A frog

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline. His personal psychic advisor tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?" "No," says his advisor, "In her biology class."

THIS IS A TRUE STORY

When I was in my tenth grade biology honors class, we were tasting a compound known as PTC. For those of you that don't know PTC is a chemical that you can either taste, super-taste or not taste at all and it depends entirely on genetics. I couldn't taste it but my tablemate Eric (made up name for privacy's sake) could. We were instructed to take the compound home and test to see which parent gave us the gene. The next day everyone had to come to the front and talk about our results. When it was Eric's turn to present he came up to the front and proceeded to tell us that neither of his parents could taste the chemical. My biology teacher was confused, stating that wasn't possible. Then it hit him and he began to apologize and quickly changed the subject

tl ; dr When my biology teacher outed my classmate as adopted

You're not supposed to understand, it's.. (science joke)

A student is in biology lecture when the professor gets to a part he doesn't understand. The student asks, "I don't understand, why does this happen?" The professor answers, "You're not supposed to understand, it's chemistry."

So the student later takes a chemistry lecture and the professor gets to a part he doesn't understand. The student asks, "I don't understand, why does this happen?" The professor answers, "You're not supposed to understand, it's quantum mechanics."

So the student later takes a quantum mechanics course and the professor gets to a part he doesn't understand. The student asks, "I don't understand, why does this happen?" The professor answers, "You're not supposed to understand, it's quantum mechanics."

The pains of being a biology student.

There was a biology student who was studying equilibrium in sea birds with a
specific focus on terns. He proposed that giving measured doses of THC (from,
of course, marijuana) and observing their flight patterns would give some
insight to the problems of equilibrium in three dimensional space. This
proposal being given in a more liberal era, the student got the funding. He
filled out mountains of forms, set up a lab with a ready supply of terns, and
proceeded on his way. After a year of diligent work, groveling monthly before
the review committee to get his stipend, and living with drugged terns, he
completed his study.

With trembling hands, he delivered his 247-page report, complete with charts
and graphs, to the review committee. The august body peruses his study, asking
penetrating questions and reducing our student to jell-o. Finally, the
department head rises. The light reflects off her steel rimmed glasses as she
stares down at our student.

"There is a lot of good work here," she says. "But we can't accept this report.
You have detailed marvelously the effects of THC on terns but you forgot one
essential step: you have no control group." Our student turns pale and says,
"You don't mean..."

"Yes. I'm afraid so. You left no tern unstoned."

A frog goes to a fortune teller

A frog goes to a fortune teller to find out if he will ever be lucky in love.

The fortune teller reads his palm and tells the frog, "I have good news and I have bad news. Which would you like to hear first?"

The frog asks for the good news first.

The fortune teller says, "You are going to meet the most beautiful girl, who is going to be very interested in you and will want to know all about you. She will want you to open up for her and you will give her your heart."

"That's great!" says the frog. "But what's the bad news?"

"Well, you're going to meet her in Biology class."

I was taking a biology test a few years ago

Science was never my strong point and I was totally stumped on the following question: "What are two things commonly found in cells?"

I went to go and copy from the guy sitting next to me, but I decided "niggers and addicts" probably wasn't the right answer.

Biology Lesson

A little girl raised her hand during a biology lesson and asked the teacher if her grandmother could have a baby.

The teacher surprised by the question explains that her grandmother would be too old to have a baby.

The little girl followed that up by asking if her mother could have a baby.

The teacher explains that although it was possible her mother is a bit old now so it was unlikely she would have a baby.

The little girl then asked "can I have a baby?"

"Of course not, you're much too young to have a baby" replied the teacher.

"See!" Said a voice at the back of the classroom. "I told you that you didn't have anything to worry about!"

The Biology Exam.

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk'.

The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages.

However, he wrote:

1) It is perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.

And then the student was stuck.

Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:

7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it.

He got an A+.

Biology class

(IRC excerpt)

<Eticam> I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm

<Eticam> And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then

<Eticam> When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass

<Eticam> Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat

<Eticam> The girl started crying and left class ^

Princess and the frog.

A frog decides to visit a fortune teller to find out if he'll ever find his princess. The fortune teller reads his palm and after a few brief moments of contemplation, begins her reading. "I have good news and I have bad news. Which would you like to hear first?" The frog, anxious for the possibility of true love, chooses the good news first. "You are going to meet the most beautiful girl," the fortune teller says. "She's going to be very interested in you and will know everything there is to know about you. You'll open up to her and give her your heart." Pleased, the frog then cautiously asks for the so-called bad news. To this, the fortune teller replies, "You'll meet her in a Biology class."

A frog wanted to know about his future and goes to meet an oracle. The oracle prophesied that in his future, he will be touched by a beautiful lady.

The frog grew curious and wanted to know when and where it would happen, to which the Oracle replied, 'next year, in a Biology lab'!

A Frog Calls a Psychic

Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have launched hotlines for frogs. Here is the story of one frog and his discussion with a psychic.

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"

"No," says the psychic. "Next semester in her biology class."

Help creating a biology joke to end my exam .

So, I'm sitting here, needing to write one more essay question for the exam I am giving shortly and have decided that I don't want it to be a serious question. It's only worth a couple of points and I don't mind giving students a couple of freebies. Exam is covering Mitosis/Meiosis/Mendelian genetics... Unfortunately I am not the creative type.

What I want to do is have some sort of riddle, just to see what types of answers students come up with..... Laughing makes grading exams much more enjoyable.

Any good ideas?

A frog goes to a fortune teller to get his palm read.

He asks her, "so, what's my fortune?"

The fortune teller says to him, " I have good news and I have bad news.

The good news is that soon, you will meet a beautiful young girl who will find great interest in you, and she is going to steal your heart."

"That's great! What's the bad news?" the frog asks.

"This is in her biology class."

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline.

His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”

The frog is thrilled! “This is great! Will I meet her at a party?”

“No,” says his advisor, “in her biology class.”

A short collection of jokes....

Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you?
Kids: Meat!
Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon!
Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you?
Kid: homework!!!



My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.


Why is there no mexican olympics? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim is already across the boarder..



Q: Why do Jewish men get circumcised?
A: Because Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't 10% off.

Boy:say me
Girl:me
Boy: you forgot the d
Girl: there's no d in me
Boy: not yet there isnt :)



One day while in a bank, an old lady asked if i could help her check her balance... so i pushed her over




Failed my biology test today:
They asked, "What is commonly found in cells?"
Apparently "black people" wasnt the correct answer






Enjoy and post some funny ones i can havea laugh at...

Last-minute thinking

Students in an advanced biology class were taking a mid-term. The last question, worth 70 points or none at all was:

"Name seven advantages of mother's milk."

One student in particular had partied the night before, and was hard put to think of 7 advantages.

He wrote:

1. It is a perfect formula for the child.
2. It provides immunity against several diseases.
3. It is always available as needed.
4. It is always at the right temperature
5. It is inexpensive.
6. It bonds the child to the mother, and vice versa.

And then, the student was stuck.

Finally, just before the bell indicating the end of the test was rang, he wrote:

7. It comes in cute containers.

He was the only student to ace the exam.

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