Name Jokes


Funniest Name Jokes

Bill Gates and Elon Musk should team-up and make a medicine to treat erectile dysfunction, and name it ElonGate.

Score: 21757

Did you hear about the drummer who gave all his daughters the same name? Anna 1
Anna 2
Anna 3
Anna 4

Score: 15584

My girlfriend asked me if I could have a threesome, which of her friends I would choose. Apparently, I was only supposed to name one, not two.

Score: 13299
Funny Name Jokes
Score: 12477

I just learned the medical name for Viagra. Mycoxaflopin

Score: 10869

The women I meet in bars have the WORST pickup lines... They're like, "Hey, what's your friends name?" Never works on me ladies.

Score: 10780

Bill Gates and Elon Musk should team up and make a medicine to cure erectile dysfunction And name it "Elon-Gate"

Score: 10334

What’s the generic name for Viagara? **Mycoxafloppin**

Score: 10231

Putin visits Estonia Immigration officer says: "Name?". "Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin".


"Address?" "Kremlin, Moscow, Russia".


"Occupation?" "No, this time just visiting".

Score: 9680

A German got pulled over by the police in France *Police officer:* "Name?"

*German:* "Heinrich Klimt"

*Police officer:* "Age?"

*German:* "31"

*Police officer:* "occupation?"

*German:* "No, no. Just visiting"

Score: 9467

Cardi B has a sister that's a fitness instructor. Her name is Cardi O

Score: 9443

If I ever go to prison, I’m gonna change my name to mitochondria... I want everyone to know I’m the powerhouse of the cell.

Score: 7749

Did you hear of the man with the same first and last name? It was a Nguyen, Nguyen situation.

Score: 7690

I called a dwarf by the wrong name. He wasn't Happy.

Score: 7020

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common? They share the same middle name.

Score: 7002

If I ever find out the name of the surgeon that screwed up my limb transplant, I'll kill him... ...with my bear hands...

Score: 3285

I bet you can't name a useless, non functioning member of society. My parents did.

Score: 3133

You meet a man on the Oregon trail... You meet a man on the Oregon trail that tells you his name is Terry. You laugh and tell him that Terry is a girls' name. Without hesitation Terry pulls out a gun and shoots you dead. You have died of dissin Terry.

Score: 2659

A boy was born of an Indian, Chinese, Irish, and Italian grandmother... They couldn't settle on a name, until it hit them!

They named him Ravi O. Lee


Score: 2538

A Man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The bartender says “What an interesting pet, whats his name?” “Tiny” the man replies. “What an odd name, why do you call him Tiny?” "Because…He’s my newt.

Score: 2442

A German was going to a trip in France... He reached passport control and the officer asked:


"Hans Kleiner"




"No no, just visiting"

Score: 2347

What does a polish bride get on her wedding night that is long and hard? a new last name

Score: 2316

I was recently asked to name two structures that contain water I responded "Well, dam"

Score: 2276

I didn't take my husband's name when I got married. I figured it'd be confusing if we were both called Keith

Score: 2009

Today, when my son asked, "Can I have a book mark?" I burst into tears... 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Dave...

Score: 1998

Doctor: I've got good news, and bad news Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: They're gonna name a disease after you.

Score: 1965

My girlfriend asked me to name... My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I've slept with.

I probably should've stopped when I got to her.

Score: 1962

How Long is a Chinese name. It's not a question.

Score: 1961

Hi. My name is Bill Gates and today, I will be teaching you how to count to ten: 1, 2, 3, 95, 98, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10


Edit: I think I may be missing a version, but looking through the comments it seems no one else knows what it is either. I'll have to google it.

Score: 1902

How many McDonalds workers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, because they can't climb the ladder.

*Edit: Wasn't my joke, it was a friends but I can't credit him since I don't know his account name*

Score: 1876

I walked into a bar and saw this girl wearing a Falcons jersey. I walked up and introduced myself as, "25 point lead".

"Is that your real name?", she asked.

I said, "No, but I figured anyone wearing a Falcons jersey would blow a 25 point lead."

Score: 1848

I think I banged a Chinese celebrity She kept screaming "I'm Wei Tu Yung" like I was supposed to know the name.

Score: 1712

What’s the name of Mr. T’s girlfriend? April, fools

Score: 1535

Fun fact: Betsy Devos' name contains every letter of the alphabet that she knows of.

Score: 1412

What is the name of a rock group that has four members yet none of them sing? Mount Rushmore

Score: 1015

"Okay Fred, Shaggy and Daphne, can you name an animal that lives in Africa and has a large horn on its face?" "Rhino!"

"We know you know the answer, Scooby, but it's not your turn."

Score: 758

Name a vegetable that's kind of cool. Radish

Edit: Source: Am a dad

Score: 752

Make fun of Kim Kardashians baby name choice for 'North West' if you want... But that child is going straight to the top...

And slightly to the left...

Score: 644

Sauron is a great name It has a nice ring to it

Score: 639

When my girlfriend got pregnant, everything changed My name, my address, my phone number

Score: 567

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New Name Jokes

Judge going through the file of an accused Judge: So what's your Name?
Accused: Mr. Fallchurges, your Honor. First name is Freo.
Judge: So you're Freo Fallchurges.
Accused: *standing up* Thank you, Your Honor.
Attorney: Heck, we almost got him this time

Score: 104

I asked an old man, "Even after 60 years of being married, how can you still call your wife 'Honey', 'Darling' and 'Sweetheart'?" He replied, "Well I forgot her name 10 years ago and I'm scared to ask her!"

Score: 53

I let my brother name my twins. He did fine with my daughter, Denise. But my son may never forgive him for naming him Denephew.

Score: 86

People always make fun of my dad because his name is Chip and he is a Dorito farmer You might think that is cheesy but actually we got to grow up on a really cool ranch

Score: 131

What do Winnie the Pooh and Alexander the Great have in common? They have the same middle name.

Score: 83

My wife asked me that if I could have a threesome, which of her friends I would choose. Apparently, I was only supposed to name one, not two.

Score: 381

My mum didn't think I’d give our daughter a silly name... ... but I called her Bluff.

Score: 156

There was a man who claimed that, by putting mayonnaise on any food no matter how bland you could make it better. They decided to name it after him and call it Cole's Law.

Score: 58

I hope NK doesn't name their bombs after their leader... We've already seen what one Fat Man can do to Japan.

Score: 76

A police officer stopped my mom's car. Officer: First name?
Mom: Frida
Officer: Last name?
Mom: Gomam
Officer: So you're Frida Gomam?

And my mom hit the accelerator.

Score: 431

I tried asking a Ouija Board for the name of my future wife. The planchette kept moving from H to A and back. What kind of name is Hahaha?

Score: 239

I hired a Russian chauffeur the other day... his name was Pikup Andropov

Score: 79

Had a blind date last night. Her name was ..:::.::…..:::.::

Score: 90

I've changed so much since my GF told me she's pregnant For example my name, address and even phone number

Score: 109

What's the name of the fastest Chinese online game player? Lo Ping

Score: 232

Fish and chips I phoned my wife earlier and asked her if she wanted me to pick up fish and chips on my way home from work but she just put the phone down on me.

I think she still regrets letting me name the twins.

Score: 187

What's the name of the Mexican that loses his car? Carlos...

Score: 370

"Tony, can you spell your name backwards?" Tony: sure... y not

Score: 287

The women I meet in bars always have the worst pick up lines... They’re like, “Hey, what’s your friend’s name?”

Score: 353

If Donald Trump was a Sith Lord... His name would be Taxi Vader

Score: 251

If I was a serial killer my name would be "The Suspence" So my victims would be like "oh no, the suspense is killing me"

And then we would both laugh right before I kill them.

Score: 114

Riddle: A King has 3 cups in front of him. The first two cups are full, the third cup is empty. What is the King's name?? King Philip III

Score: 309

How Long is a Chinese name It really is.

Score: 71

I met an Asian girl today with the last name of "China" It was her made-in name

Score: 303

Did you know that sandals were invented by a Frenchman? His name was Philippe Filoppe.

Score: 170

My first name is Greatest, last name Ever Middle name "Mistake"

Score: 65

My son wants to name our next dog Naked This way he can tell his friends he walked Naked around the block

Score: 48

Man tries to open a bank account Teller asks him : "Your name?"
"J-j-jj-hhh-on S-ss-mm-i-tthh"
"Oh you stutter?"
"No my dad did but the person who did by birth certificate was a complete moron."

Score: 387

I think my neighbor is stalking me.. she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night

Score: 389

What's another name for a nude beach? A junk yard.

Score: 77

My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will bully him because of his name... I said, "Don't be silly, Someoneyourownsize, why would anyone pick on you?"

Score: 487

It's pretty disgusting how celebrity parents name their children after cooked rodent. Poor Chris Pratt

Score: 50

Man walks into a bar with a salamander. The bartender says, "Nice lizard. What's its name?"

"I call him Tiny because he's my newt."

Score: 53

Why did David Hasselhoff change his name to 'The Hoff'? He couldn't be bothered with the hassle

Score: 62

A mom asked her son, "Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother?" He stared and replied, "My name's Paul."

Score: 132

"Name one person that could beat Captain America" Captain Vietnam

Score: 256

There is a sign in my town that reads "DRIVE SLOW AUTISTIC CHILD" First of all, he has a name.
Secondly, if he has his license he should know good and well how to drive and there is no need to single him out like that.

Score: 127

I just made my new wrestling name. My name is Off In Church... Because no one beats off in church

Score: 223

If 9/11 had happened in July... 7/11's brand name would have crumbled faster than the Twin Towers.

Score: 108

There was once a man named Odd. People made fun of him because of his name so he decided to keep his gravestone blank when he died.
Now when people pass by the burial site, they point and say, "That's odd."

Score: 384

My girlfriend got pregnant, so I've been thinking about a name for over two weeks I chose Carlos and escaped to Mexico

Score: 48

Name a popular state that most people live in. Depression

Score: 147

My sister came home today and said "they have this great new machine at the gym.." "it's got Malteasers, Twix, sodas, you name it!!"

Score: 69

A friend just called me to tell me he has changed his name to 'Spinal Column'. I asked if I could call him Back.

Score: 179

Why do witches wear name tags? To know which witch is which.

Score: 52

Pickup line: Girl, is your name Medusa? Because you made me rock hard

Score: 190

Boy: My mother's name is Laughing and my father's name is Smiling. Teacher: You must be Kidding.

Boy: No, that's my sister's name, I'm Joking.

Score: 110

I already got a date this valentine's day. Her name is Emma, Emma Gination.

Score: 78

To be Frank... I'd have to change my name

Score: 403

AN ODD TALE There was once a man named Odd. People made fun of him because of his name so he decided to keep his gravestone blank when he died.
Now when people pass by the burial site, they point and say, "That's odd."

Score: 50

I have a Chinese friend with really bad internet His name is Hai Ping

Score: 120

What was Albert Einsteins DJ name? MC Squared

Score: 50

Karma is a lame name... They should rename "Karma" to "Creddit"

They also need to rename the "Share" button to "Spreaddit"

While we are at it we might as well rename the "Delete" button to "Shreddit"

But they never will and I just don't Geddit...

Score: 104

A 14 year old Chinese boy walks into a bar He goes up to the the bar and signals the bartender
"I'll have a pint please"

The bartender looks him up and down and laughs
"You're way too young!"

"How you know my name!"

Score: 245

Did you know Bruce Lee had a son other than Brandon? He was a famous vegetarian. His name was Brock.

Score: 71

I have two tickets to the 2017 Superbowl, but I'm getting married that day so I can't go. If you're interested in going in my place, the wedding is at St. Peter's church and her name is Laura.

Score: 94

Why did the musician give his daughters the same name? So he could yell "Anna 1, Anna 2!"

Score: 55

My wife is a computer geek and wants to name our son "one eighth of a byte" So I said "Really honey? Don't you think that's a bit...?"

Score: 57

I phoned my wife earlier. "I'm just setting off from work, do you want me to pick up fish and chips on my way home?" It was met with a stony silence... I think she still regrets letting me name the twins.

Score: 73

A flight attendant says to a man... "Would you like headphones?"
The man replies, "How did you know my name was Phones?"

Score: 73

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