Chlamydia Jokes

My girlfriend said she liked surprises. But you should have seen her face when I told her I have chlamydia.

Score: 95
Funny Chlamydia Jokes
Score: 59

I've always said that college students are a lot like koala bears They sleep 22 hours a day, and 90% of them have chlamydia.

Score: 20

My doctor told me that I have syphillis, gonnorhea and chlamydia. On the positive side... HIV.

Score: 13

What's the worst kind of media? chlamydia

Score: 8

If what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas... Then why do I still have chlamydia?

Score: 6

What do Aids, Syphilis and Chlamydia have in common? Your mom.

Score: 4

My girlfriend has a fire crotch. Or as it's scientifically known, "Chlamydia".

Score: 4

So my 12 year old son asked me what are Cooties. "Well son, when I was a child, we thought cooties were a germ only girls had"

And then my son goes

"So it's like Chlamydia"

Score: 4

Shelly sells seashells down by the seashore Shelly got chlamydia.

Score: 4

Sometimes when I am away from home I get lovesick Or Chlamydia as it's better known.

Score: 4

An Irish girl came home with a depressed look on her face. Her mother says "What's wrong m'deary?" Her daughter says "I've got a case of chlamydia.".

The mother says "Tis fine love. Put it down in the cellar. Your father will drink anything.".

Score: 4

Doctor: I have some bad and good news. First the negative—You have syphillis, chlamydia, and Hepatitis. But on the positive side, HIV.

Score: 3

What do you call a koala without chlamydia? A virgin.

Score: 3

A guy's girlfriend is having a hard time parking the car. He tells her "You ought to get tested." She says, "Why? Am I that bad?" He says. "No. I've got chlamydia."

Score: 3

My girlfriend keeps telling me she's not a fire nymph. She just has chlamydia.

Score: 2

Racism at its finest They asked a Scottish man
"What is better for you? A Muslim or a Jewish?"
He replied: the Muslim is better than the Jewish in the sense that gonorrhea is better than chlamydia

Score: 2

A woman is trying to park with her husband in the passenger seat. She tries and tries, but can't seem to get it right. Her husband says, "Maybe you should get tested." She says "What? I'm not *that* bad at driving." The husband says "No, I have chlamydia."

Score: 2

I really love the names Chloe, Mary, and Lydia, but I couldn’t choose my favourite when my daughter was born So I combined them and got Chlamydia. It’s just so catchy!

Score: 2

What’s the difference between chlamydia and gonorrhoea? The taste.

Score: 2

What do you call a chlamydia-infected photographer whose father has the runs? A snap-happy clappy chappie with a crappy pappy.

Score: 2

therapists are like hookers for your feelings and hookers are like therapists for your chlamydia.

Score: 2

My dad was a successful contractor. He frequently contracted chlamydia.

Score: 2

What do you call a group of Chlamydia bacteria? An applause....

Score: 1

My STI test results came back I have chlamydia but at least I’m staying positive about it

Score: 1

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